Chapter Text
“You did put it outside, right?”
No.
“Of course!”
She loved him, but he would’ve never qualified for UC school. His face just had guilt and caught written all over it, in a million different languages.
“Timothy.”
“Y’know, I don’t know how you’re still scared of spiders. You’ve almost died like, a thousand times, but when it’s barely bigger than my thumb I find you standing on the sofa? Screaming?”
His arms gently came around her shoulders, causing her to melt a little out of habit. He knew what worked to distract her, and he was the master in getting out of any conversation, Angela could attest to that.
“You didn’t answer my-“ The warmth quickly faded as she broke out of his loving embrace, turning to look him square in the eye. “You killed it! You- I knew it! ” She expertly evaded a strategically timed kiss to her cheek.
The hand pressed to his face to dodge his affections didn’t do much in stifling his objection. And he had the nerve to try and put on an innocent facade.
“Wha- No!”
Mercifully uncovering his mouth, out of the pure kindness of her heart (he licked her hand), she sat up further to point a finger in his face.
“Hoover or shoe?”
“What?”
“The murder weapon.”
“…….” He debated giving up his standing of innocence. She’d find out when she saw the stain anyway.
The accusatory finger got closer to his nose. He caved.
“Shoe. Well, Croc, actually.”
She huffed, pouting as she dropped her hand dramatically back into her lap. Somewhat satisfied he had chosen the slightly more ethical weapon, knowing the spider had met its demise quickly, she begrudgingly let it go. Just about.
“It’d better not have been one of my brand new white ones.”
Yes. Yes it was.
“What, the ones you bought for our wedding? Ten months ago? That say bride on the front, and that you’ll never wear outside the house again? Those ones? Of course not, my love.”
He didn’t fault her for the light smack against his chest, he deserved it for that. But it brought the cute pouting back to her face, which compensated. She was beyond scary whenever anger consumed her, however her petulance was adorable. Not that he’d ever bring that up, lest he receive another smack, which would most likely be a lot harder and to the face.
“I can’t believe you.”
Her irritation was somewhat subdued by the my love. Tim and actually giving affectionate pet names was a work in progress. A slow one. He was getting there.
“Lets get back to the fact that you are still scared of spiders-“ annnd he ruined it.
“A very normal, valid fear.” She would die on that hill. It’s not the size of the body that’s the issue, it’s the legs. And the fact she had woken up on a sunny morning back in ’89, with one on her face.
“What on earth did you do before moving in with me?”
“Jackson. Then Tamara. Then Celina.” None of whom had been particularly enthusiastic about volunteering to catch them, but had stopped screaming first out of the two of them, and then caught it so they could both come off the coffee table and go to bed.
“And before they moved in?”
“……”
“Lucille.”
“I- maybe called Nolan. And wha- where did you learn that!?” Her grumpiness at the fact he now had counter fire to Timothy, paramount.
“Every time?! What about when you found them at night?”
“He didn’t mind! And he didn’t kill them. Where did you learn Lucille?”
“Angela. Who else? Two can play at that game. And if you can arrange something with Bailey, I’m sure she might let you date him instead!” He grimaced, “Actually don’t, that vision just came into my head and I want to throw up.”
And God, was that a conversation she probably should’ve had with him by now, but it just got funnier the longer she left it. Honestly, she’s surprised neither Angela nor Nolan brought it up during their speeches. Lucy was very glad for her ability to shove on an innocent poker face, an ability her husband definitely did not have.
“Oh stop it, he wa-isn’t that bad! You’re only like, eight years apart, by the way.”
That near slip up was a bit too close for her liking. Luckily, he didn’t seem to pick up on it, the indignation of his age being compared to Nolan’s distracting him. His offended, scrunched up eyebrows being subdued by a gentle poke between them, and her beautiful laugh, and her beautiful brown eyes. Focus, Bradford.
“On that note, back to the spiders-“
“You cannot tell me that you don’t have a fear equally as embarrassing.” And she would bet so much that he did. She thanked the stars they were married now, because it was bound to come out at some point in the most hilarious way possible.
“Nope. You tend to get over bugs pretty quickly when you spend months sleeping in what barely counts as a tent.” Right, army. Dammit. This could be a bit harder than she thought, most normal fears would probably become insignificant in a war zone. But she still just had a feeling it was gonna be a good one, one that she could hold over his head whenever he brought up her apparent arachnophobia.
“Oh come on! You definitely have something!”
“Nothing. I don’t have fears.”
“Uh-huh. Sure.”
“I’m serious! None.” His hand reached up to gently push some hair out of her face, and lingered after he pushed it behind her ear. “Well- I guess losing you, but that doesn’t really count as embarrassing.”
Okay, that was sweet, and in any other scenario she would’ve let him have that one, and then kissed him.
Hah, not today.
She swiftly grabbed the offending hand and shoved it back down. “Aww. That’s cute. Stop dodging my questioning. I don’t get distracted by romance anymore.”
He let out a small laugh at her haughtily crossing her arms and sticking her nose up in the air.
“Oh, really?” He had a plan. Slowly placing an arm around her waist, and she wasn’t shoving him off yet-
“Mhmm.”
“Mm.” Oh what she would do to wipe that smug smirk off of his face. Well- a kiss might do it-
“Nope-! Nuh-uh. Stop it! You know what you’re doing!” She shook her head to break the spell, planting her hand on his chest and lightly shoving him further away.
“I most definitely do, but I thought we’d established that already? And you certainly know how to do it too-” another attempt to bring her closer in.
“I didn’t mean-! Tim! You’re not getting out of this!”
“Ugh. Fine.” And now he was doing the pouting.
“So what is it? You hate the beach, so… sharks? Deep water? Ooh! What about heights?” The excitement about finding his fear was bouncing off of her. She’d been wanting some ammo for a while now.
“Heights? Seriously? You’ve seen me jump off the side of a building!”
“Okay, fair enough...Oh, come on! Just give me anything!”
“You give me one first!”
“You know mine already, it’s not fair!”
“So you’re saying it’s just spiders?”
“Yep. Well- I guess…losing you-“
“Nice try. You can’t use my conversation-dodging-romance skills against me. I’m immune. Sorry.”
“Oh…really? ” She shifted to make her shirt neckline fall forward to perfectly highlight her cleavage, and when his eyes snapped straight down to her chest, she knew she had him.
She knew what she was doing to him.
“Yeah-mm, well, no. Not if you’re gonna continue looking at me like that. Looking like that.”
“Uh-huh, you fancy an early night?” Her lips now barely an inch away from his.
“When have I ever said no?"