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The hall erupted into laughter at the conclusion of the best man’s speech. John Laurens, the best man of Alexander Hamilton, giddily introduced the next speakers on the list. Today was the happiest day for Eliza Hamilton and it was perfect. Well, almost, Alexander was late and for once it was the bride who was kept waiting, with both John and Andrew sprouting grey hairs, trying to get Alexander to hurry. Then it began to rain halfway through ceremony, but in apology, the weather brought out a rainbow.
“Now give it up for Andrew Michaelson and Angelica Schuyler!” John grins brilliantly and Andrew and Angelica make their way up to the lectern. Angelica wore a beautiful, coral hued dress that just shimmered in the light. It made Andrew’s jaw drop and heart flutter when he saw her. Andrew, wore a matching coral tie, bright red hair slicked back with a few strands deifying gravity. Dark glasses frame light green eyes, whilst Angelica’s contrasting features complements Andrew as if they were made for one another.
Angelica is the first to speak. “To the Groom! To the Bride…..” Andrew beams. He’s so proud of Eliza and Alexander. They’re perfect for each other Andrew reasons, Eliza knows how to take care of Alex and Alex knows how to take of Eliza.They complement each other, while Alex is a whirlwind of activity, Eliza is the soothing breeze that lets you relax.
“As the maid of honour, sister and best friend to the bride I must tell the story of how these two met.” Angelica continues. Andrew stiffens. How could he forget that night? It was the worst night of his life.
He’ll regret that night for the rest of his life and he knows Angelica will too.
It was one of those fancy balls that law students were invited to attend. Everyone trying to schmooze their way into an internship, but Andrew hadn’t needed to worry about that. Philip Schuyler had already promised him an internship since he started law school. It was one of the benefits of being the son of an influential lawyer, almost politician, he supposed. Andrew remembers being dragged around by Alexander almost the entire night; Alexander had to fight to get anything he had. In a way, he still did. Still, everyone was trying to impress the families of prominent lawyers and politicians. Most of which directed to one young woman in particular.
He was just about to slip away to speak with the Schuyler Sisters, old family friends since he was born. They were obliged to go as the daughters of Philip Schuyler but it had been nice to see them again since they went to different universities. Then, Alexander caught an eyeful of Angelica in the middle of the ballroom.It rendered Alexander speechless for a moment. “She strikes me as a woman who has never been satisfied,” Alexander had said voice full of awe. Andrew remembers the back and forth between them as they make their way across the ballroom to her. Andrew smiled fondly at her who was currently speaking with another law student.
“Her name’s Angelica Schuyler,” Angelica wore coral that night as well. She looked just as incredible, while Andrew just looked like a tired law student. After all, the ball held no other purpose for Andrew other than to see his dear Angelica and her wonderful sisters. Alexander smirks lightly, remarking about wealth. “Unimportant, speak with her and she’ll outwit your brains,” Andrew had warned to a smug Alexander. He left them to speak but immediately regretted doing so. In one glance, everything turned upside down for Andrew, time seemed to slow as he registered the look on Angelica’s face. It was infatuation, no, Andrew had noticed, it ran far deeper then that. It was something Andrew could only explain as doubtful love, yet the infatuation tinted it all pink. Suddenly the light in the room dimmed, the shadows bouncing off the objects in a manner that terrified Andrew. Those intelligent, sharp eyes were solely focused on Alexander, in a way it had never happened with Andrew. In that moment it was made painfully clear to him he would never be good enough for Angelica. He’d never be able to spark that enthusiasm from her.
Their conversation had lasted two minutes or perhaps it had been three? Either way to Andrew it felt like an eternity of torture. He noticed that they spoke in agreement and it only fuelled Andrew’s self doubt. At the time Andrew didn’t understand how Angelica could ever fall so quickly and so fast like that. Now, it was clearer, in the same way Andrew was drawn to Angelica, it was just something about the other person. In everyway Alexander was more interesting then him. He’s got the brains to land himself a scholarship even though he was penniless. Alexander’s good looking too, those eyes, Andrew’s sure, no positive that’s what drew Angelica to Alex initially. Andrew wanted to run, not sure where to but he remembers the urgency and need to get away.
Then Angelica looked over to her sister and her face immediately fell. Andrew saw all this from the bar, he had wanted to get them all drinks. He recognised that face, the exact same one he made when he saw Angelica look at Hamilton. Of utter heartbreak, Andrew doesn’t know how to describe it but he knows how it feels. It feels like every hope you ever had was suddenly snuffed. It’s like being stabbed repeatedly until the pain becomes a dull throb. It’s that feeling where you realise that everything that will go terribly because of you being irreversibly stupid. It was when he saw Angelica’s face he’d realised three fundamental truths at the exact same time.
Andrew is safe.
Angelica is smart, incredibly so but she’s also restrained by the fact her father is a social figure in society. Everything she does is in the limelight and if she does something stupid her father’s entire career could be on the line. Alexander’s a risk and Andrew is safe but Andrew knows ‘safe’ isn’t what Angelica wants or needs. Andrew comes from a good background, he is reliable and has a future ahead of him, even if both of his parents are dead, and he has to look after his siblings full time. Andrew is safe. Yet even so, it won’t make Angelica want Alex any less.
Angelica regains her composure far quicker than Andrew ever will. Smoothly she took Alexander’s arm and dragged him away towards Eliza, whose face is suddenly the beacon of light. She is glowing, a gold casting shadows on her face, cheeks flushed pink with nervousness and embarrassment. Andrew hopes that Alexander will see Eliza in the same light. Eliza and Peggy are sisters to him so should anything happen to the both of them he wouldn’t hesitate to kill the person who did it.
Then it’s as if the whole room lit up again and Alexander was just in awe. Andrew didn’t want to see the rest of it; instead he downed the rest of his drink and spun around to face the bar again. He supposed he should be happy, Angelica was still his to take but it didn’t stop the gnawing at his chest.
Ignorance is a double-sided blade.
Alexander’s after Angelica because she’s a Schuyler. Alex needs to climb, he’ll do anything to reach his goal and a Schuyler is a great shortcut. Angelica knows this Andrew reasons but she’d had to ignore it completely to feel comfortable with such a fact. Andrew knows Angelica; the one thing she cannot stand is ignorance. She’d never live with herself if she knew that she was deliberately being naïve maybe that’s why she introduced Alex to Eliza. To make Eliza happy because she knows that Eliza is so forgiving she’ll set aside Alex’s ulterior motives. For this very reason, Andrew knows that Angelica will never be satisfied. He curses Hamilton for being right yet again.
He doesn’t realise when Angelica sits down next to Andrew until a new drink is placed in front of him. Andrew wearily looked up to see an equally weary Angelica but he doesn’t pry. He already knows.
“L’chaim!” Angelica exclaimed in a bright tone despite herself. Andrew lifted his drink to clink with Angelica’s, for a second Andrew wondered if Angelica knew. There is a look in her eyes that will haunt Andrew for as long as he lives.
She’ll never be satisfied.
Andrew knows Angelica like he knows his own mind. She did all of this for Eliza, sacrificing her one shot at true love for the happiness of her little sister. Heaven knows Andrew would do the same. If Angelica confessed to Eliza, Eliza would back away immediately because that’s the type of person she was. She’s always been the type to put others before herself and this would’ve been no different. Parallel to this, if Andrew told Angelica that he loved her, Angelica would happily resign to a life with Andrew. After all, Andrew has and will always be the safe option. It wasn’t as if Angelica didn’t love Andrew, it’s just something was missing. That spark. Nonetheless Angelica would finally be Andrew’s and she’d say she’s fine, grand even. Only Andrew knows she’s be lying, there will always be a vacancy in her heart. She’d never be satisfied.
Andrew knows that if she’ll fantasize at night it’ll be Alexander’s eyes instead of his. She’d play through all the scenarios if she hadn’t been so selfless. Andrew does too; if Schuyler had become a Hamilton perhaps he would’ve ended up with Eliza instead. What better way to bond than with a mutual broken heart?
Andrew remembers when he proposed, only months before Eliza’s wedding but Andrew knows it was the best time to do it. Angelica was getting stressed and needed some light in her life again. They had discussed marriage before and it was always positive, after all, it wasn’t as if Angelica didn’t love Andrew. It was at dusk, just the two of them. Andrew had planned an entire night for them, away from the busyness of work and the upcoming wedding. They were walking around the park, admiring the autumn leaves, when Andrew had gotten down on one knee.
“Mon mie, you are the most intelligent, brilliant, compassionate, fiery, incredible person I know…” Andrew’s speech had gone on for a good two minutes all the while Angelica was clutching onto Andrew’s hands tightly. Eyes wet with tears but they sparkled and her laughter warmed him more than a fire ever could.
“Would you do me the honour of marrying me Angelica Schuyler? I promise that everyday I will strive to be enough for you,” Andrew finished, gasping for breath, heart beating too fast. There is a moment of silence and Andrew thinks he’s ruined a good, no, the best thing in his life. His heart sunk and Andrew had braced himself for the upcoming rejection.
Arms flung around Andrew and before he could even register what happened murmurs buried in his neck made their way to his ears. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”
“To the Groom!” Andrew declares raising his glass of champagne, his engagement ring glinting in the golden glow of the ballroom.
Yet with all said and done, at least Angelica will keep Alexander’s stunning eyes in her life.
“To the Bride!” Angelica laughs, raising her glass to meet Andrew’s.
At least Andrew will get to keep Angelica by his side.
“From your best friends who are always by your side, may you always be satisfied!” Andrew finishes, eyes still ghosting over the places where the events happened in this very ballroom.
He looks over at Angelica who is shedding tears, from joy it would seem, or was it regret? Andrew wouldn’t dare pry, he can’t complain, he’s to be married to the woman he’s been in love with. He knows that Angelica will be happy with him, they’ve always loved the other’s company. Yet at the same time his heart aches, he’d never be able to satisfy Angelica, never be able to evoke that look of passion. In a way, it’s as it should be, Andrew’s never been good enough.