Work Text:
Mondo wasn't sure what time it was now, walking through the streets with a half empty bottle in hand and blood dripping down his nose. It had been a good night to start, hanging out with a few of the guys from the gang, all of them enjoying a few drinks together and walking around their side of town, eventually parting ways and leaving Mondo with the remainder of the bottle.
It had been what, four or five years now since the accident? Mondo couldn't think clearly at the moment, taking another swig from the Vodka bottle in hand and his brows pinching together as it burned his throat going down. Mondo could handle his alcohol, he knew his limits, knew how much would get him buzzed and what it would take to get him shit faced.
Tonight, Mondo was aiming for shit faced. He usually did this back when the wounds were still fresh, drinking and smoking damn near a full pack of cigarettes each day. He had gone to the hospital once of twice because of alcohol poisoning, or because he was too bloody and bruised to get home safely and some poor grandmother insisted on getting him some help. These self destructive behaviors used to be his only coping mechanism.
He didn't want to deal with the memories of the accident, or think about all of the responsibility he had. Between school, work, running the Crazy Diamonds and managing all the smaller gangs in Japan, and trying to raise Takemichi to turn out better than he has? He had a lot on his plate.
Mondo knew it was hypocritical in a way, trying to raise Takemichi, preventing him from drinking and smoking even though he himself had started doing those things when he was younger than the other. He knew Takemichi wasn't that much younger than him, but he still felt responsible for him in a way. He wanted to be a mentor to Takemichi like Daiya had been to him, but better. As much as Mondo praised and idolized his older brother, he knew he wasn't as perfect as he was in memory. Daiya had done plenty of wrong in life, and in raising Mondo.
Mondo cursed at himself as he shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath in. He hated thinking too much, leaning against the wall of a random building and finishing off the bottle in his hand, dropping it and hearing the glass crack. He probably shouldn't leave the bottle there, but honestly? He's done enough wrong tonight, a little littering wasn't going to be the thing to bite him in the ass.
Mondo looked around to try and figure out where he was, blinking a few times due to the brightness of the streetlights and squinting, finally spotting a familiar looking house across the street. He hadn't realized he had wandered into one of the nicer neighborhoods in town, rubbing his face and waiting a moment before he walked across the street, feeling his pockets for his shitty old flip phone and dialing up a number he knew by heart.
Mondo waited as he listened to the phone ring, leaning against the wall of the house and closing his eyes for a moment, finally noticing just how much his head was throbbing. How hard had one of those stupid punks hit it? He supposed it didn't matter much at the end of the day, as long as he woke up again. Mondo clicked his tongue as he tried calling again when it didn't work the first time, smiling when the phone was finally picked up.
"Mondo..? What on earth are you doing awake at this time?" A voice came through the phone, slightly annoyed and full of sleep. Mondo felt a little bad now for waking Kiyotaka, biting his cheek and glancing up at his window again.
"'m sorry doll.. I was jus' in the area.. Wanted to see you.." It was such simple reasoning, and somewhat of a lie. Mondo did want to see his boyfriend, but he hadn't intentionally come here. Kiyotaka didn't need to know that though, he would already be upset at seeing Mondo's current state.
Well, that was if he was let in that is.
It was quiet on the other side of the line, taking a deep breath in and sighing. He could hear the slurring in Mondo's words, reluctantly getting out of his bed and peeking out the window, looking down at the ground and his eyes widening when he spotted the other.
"Mondo- What are you doing here?! If my father wakes up and sees you- Stay where you are, I'm coming down." Kiyotaka huffed, Mondo letting out a snort and shaking his head.
"Nah, no need sweetheart. I can climb." Mondo muttered, hanging up and shoving his phone back into his pocket, Kiyotaka watching in horror as Mondo began to climb up the side of his home, very quickly opening his window and pulling the larger man inside when he got there.
Mondo landed on the floor with a quiet 'thud', covering his could to quiet his giggles and closing his eyes for a moment, Kiyotaka turning on his desk lamp and gasping when he got a good look at his lover.
Mondo was bloody, nose still bleeding and his left eye swelling shut. His jeans were ripped and mucked up with dirt and blood, knees scraped and bruising, knuckles busted open and bottom lip puffy.
"Did you get into a fight-?!" Kiyotaka hissed, keeping his voice hushed and helping Mondo sit up, inspecting his face and quietly scolding the other when he attempted to pull away. "I thought you were only spending time with friends.. What on earth were you doing?!"
Mondo grunted, leaning back against the wall behind him, the dim light in the small bedroom making his head hurt and eyes sting. Or maybe his eyes stung because of the pain, or because he was reaching that stage of his drunk-ness when he could do nothing but remember and dwell on everything that has ever gone wrong in his life, and how he wasn't supposed to be here.
"Wasn't with the guys.." He muttered, having to try and focus to get the words out. "Didn'.. Didn' wanna go home aft'r they wen' home.. Walked 'round.. Saw some guys messin' with a lady.. Had ta step in, ya know? Beat their asses too.." Mondo snickered, wincing as Kiyotaka pressed a tissue against his nose.
"You reek of alcohol.." Kiyotaka grumbled, smelling the hard liqueur on Mondo's breath, his nose scrunching in disgust. He didn't condone underaged drinking, or violence, or showing up at someone house uninvited at an absurd time. He hated that Mondo did these things, except for the last one. He would much rather Mondo be here than somewhere on the street because he fainted or worse.
Kiyotaka didn't like thinking about the worse things that could have happened, didn't like fearing he would see Mondo's photo on the news when he heard about an unfortunate death or accident that was the result of gang violence, or the dread he would feel whenever his father would mention the Crazy Diamonds when it had anything to do with his work. Kiyotaka hated the panic he felt whenever Mondo went too long without checking his phone, and how he often lost sleep waiting for a reply or even for Mondo to just read his message.
The days where Mondo would skip school were the worst, the man wasn't in the best place academically speaking to begin with, and while they didn't need to succeed in the more traditional sense, their futures were guaranteed by graduation after all, Kiyotaka still wanted Mondo to do well. Good grades in all subject looked good, and well, being a gang leader wasn't exactly a career in the traditional sense. Mondo wanted to be a carpenter one day, so studying and improving those grades was important in some way.
Kiyotaka was snapped away from his thoughts when he heard Mondo wince again, his hand being pushed away and his brows pinching together, Mondo laughing softly at his expression.
"I didn' drink thaaat much.." Mondo grunted, though he knew it was a lie, he was aiming for shit-faced after all, and when morning came he would have no recollection of how he got here.
"Mondo you are a terrible liar, you think I don't know when someone is drunk?" Kiyotaka spat, and later when Mondo was asleep, he'd feel terrible for how cold he sounded right now, but Mondo needed someone who was stern at the moment, not someone who was going to coddle him. "Oh god- Did you drive here-?! That's reckless and irresponsible and-"
Kiyotaka was cut off when Mondo pressed a finger up against his mouth, and he had half a mind to bite it, but that would be filthy and hazardous given the blood. He needed to clean his lips and brush his teeth again the moment he got the chance.
"No I didn't drive here.. I ain't that stupid, ya dummy.." Mondo grumbled, his head throbbing more by the minute, slowly forcing himself to stand and swaying on his feet, Kiyotaka quickly following suit to help stabilize him. "I walked.. Left m'bike at home.."
That gave Kiyotaka a bit of relief, nodding and helping Mondo peel out of his dirty clothes, his eyes lingering on all of the old scars and bruises that littered Mondo's body, his eyes focusing on the healed road burn scar that covered most of the left side of Mondo's back and arm, exhaling slowly and having the man sit down on his bed.
"Stay here," Kiyotaka said sternly, his hand resting on Mondo's shoulder. "I'll be right back, I'm going to get a proper first aid kit."
Mondo grunted, laying back on Kiyotaka's bed and staring up at the ceiling, letting out a deep breath and letting himself really breathe and think. What the hell was he doing here? Crashing at Kiyotaka's place out of the blue, waking him up, and making the Moral Compass take care of him? He really was a piece of shit, wasn't he?
Mondo frowned, his hand lifting and covering his face, letting out a deep shuttering breath as tears stung his eyes. What the hell would Daiya think, seeing him like this? Retreating to the house of a fucking cop instead of calling one of the guys, or just manning up and making his way home after a fight.
But Mondo was scared, and he hated feeling that way. He was scared that he would choke on his own vomit in his sleep, or he had a concussion and wouldn't wake up in the morning, and that Takemichi would have to come home to a his lifeless corpse and be put into a system that didn't care about kids like him, or he would end up on the streets or couch hopping.
Mondo was afraid to return to an empty home that was still haunted by his older brothers memory, and a bedroom that still smelled of his cologne and those nasty cigarettes he would smoke, and that stash Mondo refused to face that was hidden in a cut in the side of Daiya's old mattress.
He felt weak, and pathetic, and the alcohol in his system wasn't helping as he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He was so tired, and so so scared, and his body was in too much pain for his inebriated brain to process. Mondo tried to hold back to sound of his quiet tears, but it was no use.
Kiyotaka paused outside his bedroom door, listening to the quiet crying and his heart clenched inside of his chest. He knew Mondo wasn't one to cry, he knew Mondo hated crying, the man had told him himself, Kiyotaka wasn't even sure if Mondo was capable of crying. But now he heard how the gang leader was trying to quiet himself, the shuttering breath, and broken whimpers.
Kiyotaka took a deep breath in, exhaling slowly and stepping into his room again, his eyes landing on Mondo rather quickly, and how small he looked in the moment. Mondo had curled up, hiding his face away and the mass that was his body shaking. Mondo wasn't small in any aspect, he was a tall and muscular man, with a big personality and big voice, but at the moment, Kiyotaka could only see him as something small that needed help.
Not a child. Kiyotaka had a hard time ever imagining Mondo as a child, and when he was able to imagine it, it made his heart hurt. A younger version Mondo, with no scars or tattoos, and a bright smile on his face. It was unrealistic, Mondo has spoken about how he's always had anger issues, how he was a trouble maker as a child, and how he'd get into fights, it wasn't how a child should grow up in Kiyotaka's opinion, but it made the man he loved who he is today.
"Mondo?" Kiyotaka spoke, keeping his voice quiet and gentle, his hand gently resting on Mondo's back and feeling the muscles tense. "I got the first aid.. Can you sit up please?"
It was quiet, Mondo remaining still. For a moment, Kiyotaka was scared, but when Mondo began to sit up, he let out a deep breath and opened up the first aid kit, using what he had to clean and bandage Mondo's wounds, the other leaning into him.
"'m sorry.." Mondo muttered, taking a deep breath in and slowly letting it out, tears still falling from his eyes. "I.. I shouldn't've come.. Woke you up.. Botherin' you with all this now too.." Mondo's body shuttered, wincing when he shifted the wrong way.
"Nonsense.." Kiyotaka scoffed, shaking his head and carefully having Mondo lay down, eyes raking over his body to make sure he didn't miss anything. "You are not bothering me, Mondo.. I would much rather you be here than somewhere unsafe.."
"I don' deserve you.." Mondo croaked, his bottom lip beginning to quiver again, brows pinching together and a broken whimper leaving his lips. "Yer so nice n' I was such an ass to you.. I wasn't even supposed ta be an ultimate.. Never suppossed ta lead the gang or take care of Michi or even be breathin' right now-"
The alarms were raising in Kiyotaka's head, his heart skipping a beat. He was never the best at reading a room, or other people for that matter, but he didn't like the way Mondo said that.
"Mondo what are you- Don't say such foolish things.. Of course you should be-"
"No-" Mondo croaked, shaking his head and focing himself to sit up despite the others protests. "I ain't.. I shoulda been the one to be hit by that stupid truck.. I was bein' stupid n' reckless and I woulda gotten what was comin' to me.. But- But my stupid brother had to go and get me outta the way- Dumbass threw everythin' away for a snot nosed brat!" Mondo's words came out quiet and broken, and it almost scared Kiyotaka, who was so used to hearing him get loud and assertive whenever he was upset.
Kiyotaka wasn't sure what to say, or if anything he could say would make any of this any better, Mondo has talked about Daiya before, he talked about the man like he was alive, but the shrine dedicated to him in the Owada household told another story. How long had Mondo been holding these feelings in? What did he usually do when they became too much?
The thought made Kiyotaka sick, placing his hand on Mondo's shoulder and the biker's shoulders heaving forward. The crying was more gutteral now, Kiyotaka glancing at his bedroom door and hoping tonight his father and Miss Hiroko were heavy sleepers.
"I don'.. Fuck Taka.. 'm a murder.. He was my brother- He gave up so much to raise me.. To put food on the table.. Keep a roof over us.. He was doin' the best he could.. His was retirin' early too, was gonna pass leadership to me.. But I jus' had to challenge him.. I was damn reckless on the road, and it was rainin' too.. All cuz what- I was fuckin' insecure? 'M a fuckin' dumbass piece of shit.." Mondo croaked, his hands holding his face in an attempt to hide it away. "'I don' deserve anythin' I got.. I only.. 'm only an ultimate cuz I started runnin' shit the way I thought Daiya would… 'S all cuz of him. .Everythin' I got.. None of it's really mine.."
How do you comfort someone who thinks so negitivley about themselves, that they take it as fact? Kiyotaka wasn't sure, and it was a shock to hear what Mondo really though about himself and his past. He wasn't sure if he would call Mondo a murderer or not, but he wouldn't lie to Mondo and say he didn't play a part in Daiya's death.
"Mondo.. I-" Kiyotaka paused for a moment, thinking about it. What did Mondo need right now? Certainly now pity, Mondo would hate that. Empathy maybe, but this wasn't something Kiyotaka could relate to. He didn't know how having all of this guilt felt, and he he would never know. It took longer than he wanted to admit, but eventually Kiyotaka realized, turning Mondo the best he could and simply.. Hugging him.
Mondo's body tensed, and with a shutter, he could no longer contain himself. He slumped into Kiyotaka, clinging onto him and crying into his shoulder, no longer trying to keep himself quiet. He cired, tears and snot staining Kiyotaka's shirt, but neither of them cared much at the moment.
Mondo didn't need someone who related to whar he's been through, or understood the way he felt.
Mondo simply needed someone to be there for him, someone he could dump all of this too without judgment. He needed a shoulder to cry on, someone he could rely on.
And Kiyotaka could be exactly that.
Mondo wasn't going to remember this in the morning, nor was he going to remember how he got here, but Kiyotaka would always remember the night his best friend and lover came to him, because he felt safe with him. He would remember this and be more observant of Mondo, try to be there for him whenever he was going through something.
Kiyotaka would always remember this, even if it was buried deep within the back of his mind.
And as Kiyotaka was laying there on the floor, blood pooling under him, and his conciousness fading, he would remember that moment, and he would use his last breaths to curse himself for not noticing that Mondo was struggling again, wondering that if he had, would Mondo and Chihiro still be here?
"S… orry.." Kiyotaka croaked, his words barely audible, spoken to an empty room. "'m… so… rry.." Kiyotaka apologized again, this time speaking to what looked like Mondo, who was only a few feet away, waiting for him.