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Charlie sat under the branches of a large oak tree, warped by lightning. It was laced with winding claws of blackened wood, and its leaves fell with the cold wind, tracing delicate patterns in the overcast sky as they were swept away from him.
The sky was cloudy. Charlie’s eyes felt dry and damp at the same time, like he might cry, but couldn't.
He didn’t know why he felt like this, sad, moody, a dull ache in his chest at all times.
But he wanted it to go away.
His hair flicked back and forth across his face, moving with the breeze and sending tingles down his skin. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there. Long enough that the sky had turned gray and dew was settling on the grass beneath him.
Pushing his hands into the hard ground, he forced himself up.
He was in an overgrown, abandoned park, with vines trailing off rusted metal fences and faded graffiti lining a pockmarked skate ramp.
He didn’t even remember coming here. He just couldn’t stay in his house longer than he already had, wandering the halls like a ghost, staring down at his streaming setup with mixed emotions.
He began shuffling towards the ramp. It was beautiful in a disheveled way - dandelions poking through the cracks, murky water pooling in the middle. Charlie leaned over the puddle and gazed at himself, his knees pressing into the stone.
He looked normal. No eyebags, none of that crusty, messy look he associated with feeling depressed.
His skin was clear and his eyes were their normal grayish blue. He pushed away and turned to find where he got into this place, a shiver of cold running down his arms.
Charlie trudged down the street towards his house. His eyes felt heavy. He heard a squawk and glanced up to see a raven circling towards the carcass of a rabbit - roadkill, ground into the concrete.
I hate this city
That was the only thing he could think when he felt like this. It was L.A’s fault for making him so anxious and jittery. It was L.A’s fault for making him so sad. He shook his head and dragged himself up the steps into his house.
He pushed open the door - suddenly relieved to be home.
He knew these dark rooms more than he could ever know the world outside them.
The dark hallway made him feel like a child again, teary-eyed and bruised. Crying to his mom about the mean people at school who didn’t want to be friends. Choking out laments about them pushing him and punching him until he lay in a pool of his own sweat, tears and blood.
Charlie gulped down his tears and slammed the door shut behind him. He ran deeper into his house, all he wanted to feel was the comfort of a mattress beneath him.
He shoved his palms into his eyes and sobbed as his feet carried him into bed. He pulled his knees to his chest and buried himself in blankets. Only wanting to be in the dark and not have to think about anything, his job, his videos, his friends, his family, he wanted to forget everything.
Then he heard a knock at his door.
And he felt like his world was shattering around him.
He couldn’t do it right now.
Whatever it was.
His phone started buzzing, he had left it on his bed before leaving. Charlie knew there were probably tons of texts and missed calls from people - which he wouldn’t be able to explain without causing concern. He pulled the blankets tighter around him and pushed his face into his pillow.
But the phone kept buzzing, and the knocking didn’t stop.
Charlie felt so defeated.
He pulled his phone to his ear and accepted the call.
“Yeah?” His voice sounded strangled and stuffy.
“Charlie? Are you okay man? I’m at your door.” It was Reece.
A sound somewhere between a sob and a chuckle forced out of his mouth. Of course it was Reece. Who else would have to see him when he felt this fucking awful if not Reece.
It took a moment for him to respond, he swallowed and inhaled shakily.
“Yeah, I-i’m good.” His voice cracked and he pressed his hand into his lips in an attempt to not cry into the phone.
Reece was silent on the other end, but when he spoke, it was gentle and warm, and all Charlie could think about was collapsing into his arms.
“Can I come in?”
Tears slid down Charlie’s face and fell onto the dark screen of his phone.
“Okay.” His voice came out in a whisper.
Charlie rested his hand on the door handle and pressed his forehead against the cold wood. He wiped at his face, even though he knew it wouldn't help.
His breath was shaky, and his heart was pounding in his chest. He’d never let Reece see him like this, this much of a mess, but he had to.
He started to twist the handle.
“Charlie?”
Reece’s voice penetrated through the door.
“You there?”
Charlie pulled the door open a crack.
There he was. Fading blue in his hair, so tall and so skinny.
His dark gray eyes crinkled worriedly as he looked down the street. Reece jerked his head over to him with parted lips and his eyebrows pulled up in the middle.
“Charlie!” He came closer, voice breathy. “Are you okay? I’ve been trying to reach you…”
A light drizzle had started up outside, the clouds were bunching together.
Charlie stared at Reece for a moment, taking in the sight of him to slow down his breath.
He pulled the door open with a long creak.
Reece’s eyes softened at the sight of Charlie’s face. Puffy eyes and damp cheeks. His glasses askew on his nose - he was beautiful.
Reece opened his arms, watching Charlie’s eyes dampen and narrow.
Charlie felt that ache in his chest again, he opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
He swallowed and felt more tears drip down his cheeks.
Charlie stumbled forwards and buried his face in Reece’s chest, his arms weakly wrapped around his back, his fingers flexed and found purchase in the folds of fabric in Reece’s clothes.
Reece pushed his face into Charlie’s hair and looped an arm around his shoulders. This was an unusual occurrence, Charlie always came to the door with a smile and a greeting - it made Reece’s stomach hurt to think of him being sad.
They stood there for a while, Charlie quietly weeping and Reece murmuring to him and stroking the back of his head.
Charlie’s sniffles quieted eventually, and he pulled his face to the side.
“Thanks.”
Reece chuckled softly.
“You don’t have to thank me, man.”
“And you don’t have to explain. Or fix anything tonight.”
“Just let me stay.”