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I sat on Riley's bed, listening to her rant about Lucas for the second time today. I wish I could tell her how much trouble he was causing her. She says she loves him and he seems to be the best for her. So I listen to her and nod in the right places, she seems comforted by this gesture.
"Maya?" Riley said.
"Yeah?"
She smiles, "You'll always be there for me, right? You are my forever."
I look in her eyes and smile.
She giggles, "Thunder?"
"Lighting."
"Do you want to sleepover?" she asks quietly.
"Anything you want."
That night it was Lucas this, Lucas that, isn't Lucas pretty and all I could do was nod and say yes to her. I only said I felt that way about him, because he's so similar to Riley. I wanted to protect her from him. It had always been me and her. It took me a while to realize that I was confusing feelings for her with those feelings.
We stay up late and continue talking, she lays strewn across the bay window smile drawn beautifully across her face. Her long brown hair is falling over her as she laughs. She looks perfect like this. She's so loopy and laughing at nothing. I smile at her.
She laughs even more. "Why are you smiling at me?"
"Cause you're really pretty."
She looks up. Her eyes are filled with adventure.
"I want to try something." I look at her, my eyes filled with confusion, "Just please don't freak out."
"Honey, why would I freak out?"
She gets out of her position on the bay window, "Just don't."
I nod.
Her hands are suddenly on the sides of my face and her lips are on mine. It takes me a second to respond, but her position does not waver. Our lips press together for a few more seconds and she breaks away. All I can do is look at her. She looks at me to. The moment could only last for so long.
"Fuck," she swore. She starts rambling under her breath about not supposed to do that , and she froze. "Fuck, what about Lucas?"
It was then that my blissful moment ended. A frown drew across my face. Of course she would remember him, he is her boyfriend and who she should be kissing. She shouldn't be kissing me at all.
"Why the hell would you kiss me?" I frowned at her.
She furrows her brows, "I thought it was good?"
"That isn't what this is about! This is about the fact that you have a boyfriend and you have shown zero interest in me before. What changed now?" I yelled at her.
"I know I have a boyfriend, you don't have to tell me that," she mumbled.
"That's right because he's all you want to talk about, how could you have to tell me that?"
"Peaches, calm down. I wanted to kiss you and now I have."
"Riley, it's not that simple. How can you be so blind?" I was so confused by her.
She looked at me bewildered, "How am I blind?"
I blinked. Stunned, worried if I should say it.
"I love you, okay!" I blurt out.
"I love you, too."
"Not like that," with that statement I walked out the fire escape away from the girl I love.
I didn't come to school the next day.
I didn't come to school again.
I knew Riley would be worried but, I didn't go for a third day.
On the next day, when I should be in school, there was a knock on my bedroom door. My mom had already left for her double shift today. I knew it was Riley. If I ignored her she'd come in anyway. I figured I better do it willingly.
"Come in Riley."I said defeated.
"Maya where have you been? I've missed you." she said sadly.
"I've been here, if you couldn't tell."
"And you knew I would miss you," she said.
"I couldn't."
"You couldn't! I'm the one who actually kissed you, the one who broke up with Lucas because I couldn't live a lie anymore-”
"That was all for you."
"You're right it was for me but would you rather it be for you? If everything I did for you? Because I do that now, even subconsciously." She was really upset and it frightened me, she's always the sunshine of the group.
"Did you date Lucas for me then, push me towards him when you apparently liked me?" I questioned.
"No, that was because I was scared."
"Honey, why would you be scared?"
"This isn't normal. To be in love with your best friend." She was visibly shaking. I wanted to comfort her, but it didn't seem appropriate during argument. "I thought you wouldn't love me anymore and would think it was gross."
"You never thought of the possibility that i could like you?"
"Honestly, no."
"Riley you are the most perfect human being, how could I not love you? You have hope for Pluto and think the best of everyone, but me in this instance."
"It's different, I thought you liked Josh?"
"I said I liked him, because he's part of your family,” I smiled thinking about her and how her family has welcomed me into their lives, “and he's like you. It's you I like.”I want to add so much, I just don’t want to overwhelm her. “I've liked you ever since I first crawled in through your fire escape, it just took me awhile to figure it out."
She beamed. "I love you, Maya. I got us rings." The two of us laughed for a second.
"How long?"
"How long what?"
"How long did you pretend to like Lucas?"
"It wasn't pretend at first but I soon realized I loved you and then I threw myself at him more, I just didn't want you to find out."
"Thank you, for getting the courage to do what I couldn't, I think we'll both be happier now."
Riley smiled. "I want to be happy with you."
Tears welled in my eyes, "Really?" She nodded, "This is where we should hug," I laugh out.
She comes to sit by me on my bed and wraps her arms around me. We sit there still for a little while. Riley lifts her head and my face to look at her own. Her hand moves to hold mine. "I wish the world was just you and me," she tells me.
"Then it is."
"Peaches? What are we going to do?"
"We don't have to decide what to do just yet, just be ourselves, and be completely honest with each other."