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It had been a week since Kotone had woken up in the hospital. A week since her heart had stopped on the rooftop of their high school. According to the doctor, her heart had stopped spontaneously, but restarted soon after emergency services arrived and began life saving treatment. She had been transported to the hospital where she rested for three days straight.
Since then, Kotone had been surrounded by her friends. They all had made sure she was never alone during the day, which had been a nice way to distract from the fact that she had been so close to death recently. To say she felt a little guilty would be an understatement. She did not regret almost dying to save everyone, but every time she saw their faces she couldn't ignore the pit in her stomach that reminded her that she had almost left this world entirely.
Balloons, get-well-soon cards, and flowers surrounded her hospital bed- a visual reminder of all the people she had grown to love and care for in this last year. According to Yukari, many of her other friends from school or town had left their well wishes alongside a gift.
Since waking up, only a few approved visitors had been allowed in her room. While her spontaneous recovery had been considered a miracle by the doctors, they had insisted on keeping her for testing and monitoring for a while longer just in case her condition worsened again. Only the former SEES crew had been allowed in, as they were deemed closest to her family for the situation.
At night, Kotone was left alone to sleep. Or at least, attempt to sleep. A fruitless pursuit most nights. Nightmares and anxiety plagued her evenings the minute she was alone. In the deafening silence, she was brought back to that day where she sealed her fate to seal Nyx. Or to the rooftop where she felt her own life fade away.
Death wasn’t an unfamiliar topic to Kotone. She had seen and lived through the grief of losing her family. The pain of living while others were gone. And she had almost made others live through that pain as well. Would they have understood? Would they have chosen to do the same? Would they hate her for choosing to sacrifice herself?
Survivor’s guilt was a special kind of hell. A hell she knew the others understood. All of SEES had been acutely aware of death and loss. They all had lost someone they once loved and admired.
No. It was her bonds outside of SEES that didn’t understand. They never would’ve understood why she died. The sacrifice she made for them all. They were quite literally kept in the dark about the Dark Hour. About Personas and Shadows. About Nyx and The Fall.
Yet somehow, everything worked out. Kotone had chosen to save everyone at the cost of her own life. And yet here she was- alive. Surrounded by reminders of how much people cared about her. It was a strange feeling to feel so alive for the first time in her life after years of grief and sadness.
Tonight, Kotone’s only visitor left was the ever-loyal Aigis. Her friends all took their own shifts when they had time to visit, but Aigis was always the last one out before visitor hours ended for the evening.
“Kotone? Before I go- I found this on the rooftop earlier today. It must've fallen out of your pocket when you were transported to the hospital.” Aigis pulled out a familiar pink flip phone from her pocket. “I apologize for not finding it sooner. I looked everywhere, but didn’t get a chance to go to the rooftop until today.”
“My cell phone!” Kotone felt a sense of relief knowing it wasn't lost forever. “Thank you, Aigis.”
It wasn’t with her other belongings when she had woken up, so she figured it had been misplaced or lost during her hospital transport.
“If you need anything, please call us and we'll be here.” Aigis smiled.
“Of course.” Kotone waved away Aigis as a nurse escorted her out.
Alone again, Kotone opened up her phone.
Let's check the damage.
49 unread messages.
12 missed calls.
Yikes.
Most of the texts were from different people giving their best wishes on a speedy recovery. Classmates, club members, and even people around town all had sent their get-well-soon texts.
All twelve calls and a good chunk of the messages had come from the source she had expected: Saori.
Kotone's heart sank as she clicked on the messages.
“Kotone? Please answer me… I heard about the news. I need to know if you're okay. Call me.”
If the hospital didn't have horrible cell reception, she'd call Saori right then and there to tell her she was okay. She deserved to know that.
Kotone set her phone down and pulled her knees into her chest. She had missed Saori so much over the last several months- ever since she had moved schools. When things were getting tough with SEES, she wished she could've been able to see her girlfriend and tell her everything she had been balancing on her plate.
When she chose to sacrifice herself, she thought of Saori- the girl who deserved a better life… even if it meant she was no longer a part of it.
But Kotone had lived. Somehow. And she wouldn't leave everyone behind this time. She would embrace living and get a chance to enjoy life with everyone. A life without the threat of the dark hour or Nyx. No Personas. No more death. She had a life to live now and someone to love. The person who she called every Friday night to check in and ask how things were going. The one who she had promised to meet up with again during the Summer break. And then again after graduation. The girl she had began slowly planning a future with- by talking about going to college together and finding an apartment to live in.
She would see it through. She would get her reunion. They would have their future.
For the first time all week, Kotone slept without a single bad dream.
…
Kotone was pulled away from her sleep when she heard some voices nearby.
As she slowly opened her eyes, she noticed Aigis sitting at her bedside with a book in hand. The window behind Aigis showed a bright blue sky dotted with clouds.
Morning? Afternoon? Daytime.
“Aigis? What's going on outside the room?” Kotone asked, sitting up in her bed.
“You slept well Kotone. I can tell. Anyway, I hear the nurse talking to someone outside. The nurse is saying that the person- a girl- isn't on the approved list of visitors.” Aigis said as she looked towards the door.
“A visitor? Can you see who it is?” Kotone asked.
Who would go out of their way to show up and ask to enter?
Aigis nodded and went to the door, opening it swiftly before saying something to the nurse and the mystery visitor. The nurse followed Aigis back into the room.
“It is a girl named Saori Hasegawa. Do you know her Kotone?” Aigis asked.
“She can only enter with your permission.” The nurse added.
“Ah! Yes! Let her in please!” Kotone pleaded without hesitation.
What is Saori doing here?
The nurse went back outside and opened the door, saying something to her visitor.
From the door, Saori rushed in. Her eyes were full of worry before softening with relief as their gazes met.
Saori looked similar to the last time Kotone saw her- still as beautiful as always. Her hair had grown a little longer, and she wore a black dress with a thin purple cardigan over it, despite the summer heat.
“K-Kotone! You're okay!” Saori held a trembling hand up to her chest, as if she was trying to control her own heart rate.
“Aigis? Would you let us have a minute in private?” Kotone asked, looking at the blonde.
“Of course. I will be back later.” Aigis nodded at Saori as she passed before exiting the room.
“Saori, I-”
“I was so worried...” Saori interrupted, tears beginning to fall down her face. “I'm so glad you're okay.”
“Come here.” Kotone gestured towards her bed.
Saori followed and sat on the bed next to her.
“I'm so sorry for worrying you.” Kotone wrapped her arms around Saori, holding her tightly. She couldn’t ignore how nice it felt to hold her again.
“W-What happened? All I saw was a news article about someone collapsing at Gekkoukan High. Then it was updated to say that the female student had died and they reported it was you! And-” Saori could barely speak through the sobs that overtook her voice.
“I'm okay. Doctors aren't sure how, but my heart did start beating again.” Kotone tried her best to comfort her. “They say I’m pretty healthy all things considered, but they are monitoring my heart for a while longer.”
“I thought I had lost you before I could see you again.” Saori whispered into Kotone's shoulder.
“I'm so sorry.” Kotone repeated, her own tears finally escaping her grasp. “I just barely got my phone back last night so I didn't see your calls and texts. I would’ve called but the reception was just awful.”
“It's okay.” Saori pulled back and wiped her tears. “No more crying. You're alive. That's what matters.”
Kotone matched Saori's little smile with her own. It felt surreal to have her girlfriend here at the moment.
“How did you get here? What about your school?” Kotone asked.
“I told the school there was an emergency and I left on my own. I had enough money for the transportation so I just did it. I only have a few days left before I have to go back.” Saori gently grabbed Kotone's hands.
“I'm really happy you're here… I missed you…” Kotone admitted.
“I missed you too.” Saori squeezed Kotone's hands gently.
“I don't know when they're going to say I'm free to leave.” Kotone frowned. “I wish we weren’t stuck in this room.”
“It's okay. I'll keep visiting until I have to leave. I don't care where it is- as long as I can see you.” Saori held a hand up to Kotone's cheek.
“Next time you get to visit, it'll be a real date. I promise.” Kotone laughed. “And I'll look better than I do now. The hospital gown, just-woke-up look isn't exactly my best.”
“You're beautiful no matter what you look like.” Saori smiled, her face turning pink.
Kotone's own face burned red in response.
Saori leaned her head against Kotone's. Their hands stayed entangled and their lips gently met.
This was worth living for.