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♤
“Oh yeah? Prove it then. Prove you have a significant other.”
That's what Topaz had said at the bar last week. That's what got Aventurine into this whole mess— that was totally not his doing —to try and find someone to agree to accompany him to the same bar, under the guise that they were, legitimately, dating.
That's also how he was trying to work up the confidence to ask a particularly handsome man who was sitting a few spots away from where Aventurine currently sat, engrossed in a book (was that Crime and Punishment?) with a coffee at his side. He looked like he had jumped right out of some spicy romance novel, all muscle and calm and pretty features; sharp jawline and soft looking hair.
‘Damnit what am I thinking?’ Aventurine scolds himself. He was going to chew right through his finger if he wasn’t careful, biting at his nails — an anxious habit he was trying to be rid of. Not exactly cool and collected like he usually was, or at all romance novel-y.
‘How weird can it truly be to ask a complete stranger to go out with you for the night because you can't drop your damn pride? Surely people do this often enough..’
Aventurine sighs heavily, sinking back into his chair, letting his hand fall into his lap. He really was a coward, wasn't he?
How is it that he can make presentations that are worth millions of dollars, but drop one pretty man in front of him and he can't even manage to look at him for more than 3 seconds before chickening out? Some charmer he was.
‘Coward’ The word echoes in his head becoming an echo chamber. He willed it to stop but to no avail.
“For someone who supposedly has a significant other, you’re mighty defensive about it. And I mean, surely the flirting you do all the time has scored you someone by now.” Topaz's words taunt and plague Aventurine's mind as he stares out the window, looking at the scenery outside and nothing at the same time, Topaz's face from that night appearing again. She had been so smug. So damn sure of herself and it had gotten right under Aventurine's skin — No doubt just as she had hoped.
And Aventurine may have been a coward, but he wasn’t a loser. And he absolutely refused to lose to Topaz of all people.
Aventurine rises from his seat, striding over with something he hopes comes across as confidence. With his mind full of worry and doubt, he could really only hope and pray for the best.
Aventurine stops just before the table, the man in turn gazes at Aventurine with mild curiosity, as well as skepticism, his book lowering in his hands to the table.
“Is that spot taken?” Aventurine asks, gesturing to the chair opposite to the man, having to remind himself to take deep breaths in and out and keep his voice level.
“.. Mm not currently.” The man nods as confirmation Aventurine can sit, and Aventurine nods back in thanks, forcing his body to move slowly into the chair. He might’ve been desperate but he at least had the mind to hide it.
The man stares at Aventurine for some time, eyeing him up and down twice, taking quite ample time to stare at his facial features. Aventurine thought briefly about calling him out but thought better of it. Catching his eyes in the process, Aventurine noted just how breathtaking they were. And he luckily had plenty of chances to see them, seeing as they raked over his frame enough times; piercing yet soft at the same time, a beautiful mix of colors he hoped he could begin to love, given the chance to see them more.
But he shouldn't be thinking about love right now.
“Mind if I talk with you for a while?” Aventurine tilts his head just slightly as he asks, batting his eyelashes subtlety. It was a trick he liked to play. It got him what he wanted.
The man sets aside his book, placing his bookmark in such a way that has Aventurine suddenly hot under the collar, (when did Aventurine start caring about hands??) “That depends. What will you be talking about?”
“Ah, a man who asks the right questions. I like that.” Aventurine smirks, leaning back into his chair to adjust his legs. “I simply wanted to make small talk. A bit of a friendly Q&A. A little get to know ya game. Deal?”
The man eyes Aventurine carefully, like he was waiting for something to happen. Perhaps waiting for someone to jump up from behind him and shout ‘Boo!’ or ‘Oh you just got pranked!’.
But the ‘surprise’ never came.
The man blinks twice before nodding his head, “Go on then.” The man prompts, and Aventurine smirks a little wider, letting out a breath he didn’t remember holding in.
‘damnit get your shit together.’ Aventurine scolds, grinding his teeth together before beginning.
“Well, let's start off simple, hm? My name is Aventurine. Yours?”
“Dr. Veritas Ratio.” He replies simply, almost humbly, like his title wasn't much more than just his first name despite being quite the badge of honor in this day and age.
‘A doctor? That explains the book.. somewhat.’
“Well then, Doctor, it’s a pleasure to put a name to such a pretty face.” Aventurine teases the other just a bit, his smirk turning more seductive. The doctor's face tints a light pink color as he clears his throat, adjusting his posture. His flirty tactic was working.
“You're.. quite forward, Aventurine.” Ratio remarks, pulling his eyes away to instead stare at the table. He snuck glances —If you can call it that, seeing as he was anything but subtle — but Aventurine found it quite endearing.
“Is that a complaint? A compliment?” Aventurine hopes inwardly for the latter.
“No comment.” Ratio murmurs, his eyes meeting Aventurine’s fully again.
Aventurine tilts his head, “What happened to our Q&A?” He asks disappointedly, ignoring the fact that Ratio was in fact playing the game, Aventurine simply didn't like the answer.
“I do believe you asked me a question and I gave you an answer. Is that not the definition of Q&A?” Ratio quipped back. Was he a mind reader on top of a doctor?
Aventurine sighs, louder than probably necessary. “Well played, Doctor. You win.”
Ratio raises a brow to him, “Oh? I was not aware you could win at Q&A.”
“Well for such a pretty face, you could win anything you wanted, I'm sure. I'd certainly let you, anyway.” Aventurine winks at Rato, and the blush soon covering the latter's face far exceeded Aventurine's expectations.
The left side of Aventurine's lips quirks up in a subtle smile.
He was easy to fluster. Aventurine liked that.
He really needed to stop thinking about him like that. He was still a stranger. They weren’t even going to be truly romantically involved. This was a one and done deal. Aventurine would romance him for a night and then this would be behind them.
But God did Aventurine wish it could be different. That, perhaps, at the end of this facade, it would fester something more.
Aventurine pulled himself out of his thoughts quickly. He didn’t need to be daydreaming about him.
Ratio sighs, “What exactly do you want out of this? To flirt with some stranger for what? A dare?” He's once again eyeing him skeptically, checking again for signs that Aventurine was up to no good. Aventurine didn't blame him, but his search would come up empty. He wanted to be an open book for Ratio to page through. As much as he could, anyway.
“I'll be frank, I wanted to ask you out, truly. Take you out somewhere nice, get to know you.. But I can't promise anything after that, so I won't be a fool to offer more.” Aventurine admits, wringing his hands together. That nervousness was back. He hated it.
Ratio blinks at him in surprise. He gapes at him for a while before clearing his throat. “Wha.. why?” Is all he asks. Aventurine takes it as, it's the only thing he can say. The thought is rather flattering.
“Why not? You're very attractive. I'd be a fool to not ask you out, really.”
‘I'd also be a fool to think you'll say yes.’ Aventurine decidedly leaves that part out.
“I–I'm quite flattered.” Ratio nods, wiping his face as if that could remove the blush on his cheeks. He pauses for a few seconds longer, looking at Aventurine carefully. “You said ‘one and done thing', yes?”
“I did.” Aventurine affirms, nodding sharply. “But of course if it isn't your thing then–” He starts back tracking, sensing a shift in his body language. He feared he'd read the room very wrong, ruining his shot.
“I never said that.” Ratio interrupts. Aventurine blinks in surprise. Perhaps he had read him wrong. Just not in the way Aventurine first thought.
They stare at each other in a mildly awkward silence before Ratio clears his throat. “Forgive me for.. speaking out of turn.”
Aventurine smiles, letting out a shuddering breath that he had in fact been holding, “there's no need to apologize.”
There's another small bit of silence, then Aventurine breaks it.
“So is that a yes then?” Aventurine asks, raising a brow. His thoughts echo the word ‘yes’ a million times over, as if that could somehow change the outcome.
“Yes.” Ratio nods and Aventurine beams on the inside. He thinks he must be the luckiest man alive right now. He thinks briefly if the chanting had in fact worked.
“Could I have your number then?” Aventurine smiles, unfolding his leg and leaning forward.
“Of course.” Ratio affirms, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He clicks a few things before passing it to Aventurine, the empty contact info waiting for him on the screen.
He types in his information and passes the phone back to the other.
“I'll text you later, hm?” Aventurine stands slowly, winking down at Ratio.
“Hm,” Ratio nods, smiling subtly in return. “I look forward to it.”
“See you later, Doctor.” As he said it, it felt less like just words said as goodbye, but a promise.
“Have a good day, Aventurine.” The way Ratio says his name sends a shock down his spine, and Aventurine involuntarily shivers.
“You too.” Aventurine replies, waving just his fingers to Ratio as he walks away, back to his spot. He finishes his now cold coffee, orders a snack because he's earned it, and leaves the café shortly after, texting Topaz immediately,
“When & where do you want to meet?”
♧
Walking through the doors to the bar, Aventurine is instantly greeted with loud booming music that vibrates his very bones, and no doubt was making numbers on the Richter scale closer to the dance floor. The bright neon LED's illuminated every inch of the bar in a blue-pink color scheme, making it like a scene straight from a comic book night club. Aventurine personally liked the bar best when it was this way.
“This is where we're meeting your friend?” Ratio eyes his surroundings skeptically, his nose scrunched up.
“Not to your liking?” Aventurine asks, raising a brow at the other, unable to hide the small grin on his face.
Ratio doesn't answer, simply continuing to eye his surroundings like it was the most vile thing he's seen in his life. Aventurine didn't blame him. He had taken him to a rather nice dinner for their first outing, and Aventurine had gotten lucky enough to persuade him into another outing — this one. So this must've been quite the switch.
Aventurine leads them in further regardless, and Ratio follows after despite that same distasteful look plastered on his face.
Weaving through drunk patrons and sober ones alike, Aventurine eventually finds Topaz seated at a far away bar stool with Jade beside her, sharing a drink together.
‘Ah if it isn't my favorite pair of scissors.’ Aventurine thinks to himself, giggling quietly.
“I found them.” Aventurine has to yell for his voice to carry over the music, but Ratio clearly heard him if the relieved nod is any indication. They intertwine their fingers together and there's suddenly butterflies in Aventurine's chest.
As they approach, Topaz waves to them, smiling up until Ratio comes into view. She looks taken aback, eyes widening and mouth slightly ajar.
Aventurine swells with pride inside knowing he was able to get such a reaction out of her. Still, there was a kind of sick feeling in his stomach. Maybe those butterflies from before were diseased..
He would ignore it for now. He was here to show off in front of Topaz and get drunk, not dwell in his feelings.
“Aventurine, hi.” Topaz says, smiling almost bitterly at them both.
“Hello. It's a pleasure to see you two again after so long.” Aventurine returns, nodding his head to Jade. She nods back, tipping her glass to him before taking a sip, ever the polite lady.
“Who's your little friend?” Topaz asks, pointing to Ratio who was currently attempting to hide behind Aventurine despite being significantly taller than him.
“This is my partner.” He replies, letting go of his hand in favor of taking Ratio's arm in his, bringing him forward in the process. But Aventurine hates how his words feel like poison in his mouth. He hates how he says them with such confidence, such warmth, despite lying through his teeth. He wished with every ounce of his being he didn't have to. That they— no he didn't have to play this game.
That sick feeling in his stomach came into the forefront suddenly. Aventurine shoved it down again.
“Pleasure to meet you.” Ratio greets, extending a hand to Topaz and to Jade in friendly greeting.
Jade asks him a few questions so Topaz can't, being friendly but trying to make sure the woman beside her didn't say anything damning.
But when the conversation starts to die down, Jade eyes Aventurine skeptically as soon as Ratio isn't looking. But Aventurine plays the fool, a skill he was rather good at. Pulling a bartender over to help play the part. He knows she will figure it out. There was nothing you could hide from her, but prolonging it was a gamble Aventurine was willing to make.
“Do you want anything?” He leans over to get closer to Ratio as the bartender approaches.
“Something with a low alcohol content. You can pick for me.” Ratio replies. He nods and turns his head away.
Aventurine luckily doesn't have to wait long for someone to meet him opposite the bar.
“What can I get you?” A bartender with a name tag of ‘Sibohan’ approaches the counter, resting their arms on it and giving Aventurine a gentle smile. Her hair was wild and colorful, and her style was quite eye-catching. Aventurine liked it.
“One Strawberry Daiquiri and a Vodka Sour, please.”
“Good choices. I'll bring those over to you right away, so hang tight alright?” And with that, Sibohan left.
Satisfied, Aventurine turns back to the three of them. Jade seems to have actually taken a liking to Ratio, while Topaz has taken a liking to staring a hole into Aventurine's skull. How long she had been doing it for, Aventurine didn't care.
He'd “won” their game. That's all that mattered.
“I ordered our drinks.” Aventurine shouts to Ratio as he sits down beside him, taking his hand in his. The butterflies in his body seemed to overpower that pit in his stomach. For now.
“Sooo~ how did you two meet?” Topaz asks, leaning her arms onto the bar.
“Topaz.” Jade cautions, taking hold of the other's hand and giving her a stern look, “There's no need to pry.”
“No. It's alright. I don't mind.” Aventurine affirms, “We met at a café. It was like love at first sight.” Ratio blinks at him when he says it but quickly forces a smile.
“Huh. So you had a little meet cute, I take it?” Topaz tilts her head. She sounded surprised.
“Mhmm.” Aventurine hums. It was his turn to give Topaz a smug smirk.
“Well I'm glad you found each other. You make a good pair, I can tell.” Jade comments, eyeing Topaz. She sighs and nods along to what Jade said.
There's a few quick rasps on the bar counter and Aventurine turns to see Sibohan there, pushing the two drinks towards him.
“Enjoy.” She says, nodding to Aventurine. He nods back in thanks and grabs both drinks. He offers Ratio his.
“Oh, thank you.” Ratio says as he takes his drink. “Do I need to pay you back at all–”
“Dont worry about it, Doctor. It's my treat.” Aventurine winks at him, and Ratio busies himself with his drink to hide the blush creeping up his neck.
“Well. Let's talk and have fun, shall we?” Jade offers, though it was more of a command than something you could turn down. Everyone agrees regardless.
The four all drink for a while, Ratio indulging in a single shot with barely any alcohol in it, Aventurine saying something along the lines of ‘that defeats the whole purpose of a shot’.
Soon enough, Aventurine was pulling Ratio to the dance floor, drunk off his ass.
He was giggling the whole time, tugging on Ratio's arm and narrowly missing bumping into people, with the help of Ratio pulling him in return. It was a push pull “dance” and, quite frankly, it was making Ratio dizzy.
Ratio wasn't expecting this. Not this side of Aventurine. But he couldn't say he didn’t like it. Or at least found it amusing.
“Loosen up! Dance with me.” Aventurine pleads with Ratio, looking up at him with big puppy dog eyes. Ratio doesn't budge however, simply holding him close so he doesn't fall or fall into someone else.
“I'd prefer not. I have the grace of a newborn giraffe.” Ratio confesses.
Aventurine giggles furiously, “Oh that's not true, just try~” He tugs at Ratio's shirt again, nearly tipping over into a large group of people.
Ratio however prevents that, hand finding purchase on the small of Aventurine's back and forcing him into his own body.
“Maybe we should get you home.” Ratio points out, trying to gently guide Aventurine away from the dance floor.
Topaz however stops that from happening.
“Aww you two look cute.” She says from behind them. “Having a little post-drink dance?”
“We were actually—”
“Yess!” Aventurine cuts him off, words slurring, smiling at Topaz. She snorts in return.
“Hmm. Well you two have fun. Me and Jade are going home.” She walks closer to Ratio, leaning in close to his ear. He leans down to help her voice carry into his ear, “Make sure he gets home, ‘kay? I trust you'll make the right call.” She nods to him before leaving.
Ratio stares at her for a while, blinking in surprise. It felt like seconds ago she was this close to biting his head off just for being introduced.
Ratio is snapped out of his daze when Aventurine is leaning into him, arms wrapped around his waist.
“What did she say to you?” His voice is muffled, seeing as his face is currently pressed against Ratio's chest. It makes him rather hard to hear, but Ratio manages.
“Nothing of great importance.” A lie. It was of great importance. Especially to Ratio.
“Hmmm. Okayy.” Aventurine says. Despite no additional alcohol running in his system, he seemed to only be getting drunker.
‘What an anomaly you are, Aventurine’ Ratio thinks to himself. His hand runs up and down Aventurine's back a few times.
“We should go, Aven–” Ratio is yet again cut off by Aventurine getting knocked into, forcing both of them to stumble back a ways. Ratio wonders how on earth people enjoy this sort of thing.
“I don't want to go.” Aventurine pouts, turning away from Ratio. The warmth he left behind lingers on Ratio's chest and he silently yearns for Aventurine to return to that spot.
But what good did yearning ever do?
“Aventurine we really should. You need to sober up.”
“I am sober.” Aventurine argues, waving a half limp hand at Ratio to dismiss him.
Ratio hums disappointedly. “No you are not. Now come on.” He takes Aventurine's hand in his and leads him off the dance floor.
Aventurine grumbles loudly but lets himself be pulled away. Ratio doubts he could have put up much of a fight anyway.
Ratio stops rather suddenly as soon as they pass the bar, “You did pay, yes?” Ratio asks. At the moment he couldn't recall either of them paying for their drinks.
Aventurine giggles again, “Don't you remember? Jade paid for us.”
Ratio thinks for a moment, recalling how Jade had said ‘let me pay for them. As a peace offering for Topaz's.. Less than friendly introduction to you.’
The memory fizzles and Ratio is back in the loud bar, still holding Aventurine's hand. He leads them out the doors after that.
He escorts them to Aventurine's car, Aventurine giving him shit all the way there.
Ratio opens the door for Aventurine, trying to give him a gentle push to get in. Aventurine however doesn't budge, clinging onto Ratio.
“You're very cute. Have I told you that?” He's rambling, and Ratio is about to stop him when he continues, “So pretty. So so pretty.” Aventurine smiles up at Ratio, reaching up to his face.
Ratio takes both of Aventurine's hands, a blush covering his face. ‘He's drunk. He's drunk. Don't do something stupid.’ Ratio kept reminding himself.
“So handsome. I could kiss that face.” Aventurine giggles, going up on his tip toes suddenly. Ratio however is quick to shut that down, gently moving Aventurine back down, a finger on his lips for good measure.
“No, c'mon Aventurine. In the car.” It pained him to not kiss him, truly. But Aventurine was very drunk and Ratio would be damned before he took advantage of him.
Aventurine whines but he goes regardless, slumping into his seat.
“Seatbelt.” Ratio commands, pulling said item to help Aventurine out.
“I'll be fine~” Aventurine shakes his head and turns away. Ratio lingers close to his side, staring at the back of Aventurine’s skull.
Ratio sighs very heavily. He doesn't hesitate, reaching over Aventurine, seatbelt in hand, clicking it in place.
“Now you'll be fine.” Ratio corrects, shutting the door and proceeding to walk to the driver side.
As he climbs in, Aventurine has a heavy blush on his face, and not from the alcohol by the looks of it.
“You're really hot. Have I told you that?” Aventurine leans his head onto the window, smiling at Ratio, looking like he jumped right out of a romantic movie scene.
Ratio fumbles for words, “I.. I'm glad you think so.” Ratio tried to appear confident in his words. But he could tell it didn't have the same charm as before.
‘Nice going. Idiot.’
Wherever he had gotten all that previous suave was all but depleted now. Ratio blamed it on the little alcohol, or in this case, liquid courage, making its way out of his system.
They drive back to Aventurine's house in relative silence, Aventurine singing along to the music on the radio on occasion. Ratio found it very endearing.
Once they arrive at Aventurine's house, Ratio helps Aventurine out of the car, seeing as the alcohol was making him less giggly and a lot more wobbly.
“Where are your keys?” Ratio asks as they approach the back door.
“Pocket.” Is all he says, leaning into Ratio for more support.
Ratio sighs. ‘Very specific’ he mutters to himself, feeling gently in each one of Aventurine's pockets. When he doesn't feel it in any he raises a brow.
Aventurine laughs as he pulls out his keys as if from thin air, letting them dangle from his index finger. Ratio snatches them swiftly.
‘He will be the death of me..’ Ratio says it to himself less like it was a curse, but a blessing.
“If you want me to grope you, just ask. You don't need to get creative.” Ratio mumbles, beet red but trying to appear unaffected.
“..Really?” Aventurine asks, beaming as he steps into his house as Ratio opens the door.
“Yes. I don't lie to you, Aventurine. And I don't plan to change that.” Ratio admits, smoothing a hand over his neck.
He drops the keys in a dish near the door, walking into the kitchen to fetch some crackers and a bottle or two of water for Aventurine. His kitchen was organized well, so it took him little time to find everything he needed.
He turns only half way before Aventurine is attaching himself to him, snuggling his face into Ratio's chest.
“You're too good to me.” Aventurine mumbles into Ratio's skin. Ratio feels like he's on fire in the best way.
“I'm just doing my part you don't need to—” Aventurine is kissing him before he can finish, holding the other close.
Ratio almost drops the crackers and the water in his hands from shock alone, staring at Aventurine with wide eyes, even as they flicker closed and open again. His mind races, then slows, then jump starts and Ratio is trying to solve math problems to try and prevent himself from getting hard.
“Avent—” Ratio is yet again cut off, with Aventurine taking hold of Ratio's collar and pulling him down to his level in a quick motion.
“Please say you want this.” Aventurine breathes out, possibly more flushed than Ratio was.
Ratio pauses. He did. He did want this. And badly. But the thought of Aventurine still being drunk scared him a little. Because alcohol makes you do stupid things. Most of which you regret later. And Rato didn't want to be a regret to Aventurine.
“I..” Ratio pauses yet again, “I don't know.”
“Sure you do.” Aventurine counters, grasping his collar more firmly. “.. I will back off if you want me to.” He says timidly.
Ratio stands there, staring at Aventurine's eyes, the ones he was so captivated by when they first met. Then his lips. Looking just as soft as they always had. Ratio finds himself wondering what Aventurine's lips would taste like on lonely nights.
He wants this. He wants Aventurine. So badly it hurts. But seeing his legs wobble, unable to find his center of balance, Ratio shuts his eyes hard, counts to 3, and opens them.
‘I'll burn for this.’ Ratio thinks helplessly to himself even as he's reaching out and finding purchase on the back of Aventurine's neck.
Lips move against one another, hands search and grab. And Ratio has never felt better.
Pulling Aventurine into him, kissing and moving desperately. Part of him can't believe this is happening. The other knows exactly what's going on. What this all means.
War rages in his mind even as Aventurine backs him up to the wall, thigh wedged between Ratio's own, kissing deeper.
He can't truly enjoy what's happening, not with the thought that Aventurine could wake up tomorrow and regret all this. That all of this would be over because he gave into pleasure.
But he still drinks in every noise Aventurine makes. He still tries to force his thoughts down in favor of focusing on what was in front of him.
Regret can come later. Aventurine came first.
A week later..
“C'mon, just a bit of fun?” Aventurine tries to coax Ratio further into his home, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling gently.
Ratio goes, but his willingness is that of a donkey. He stops just as soon as he's past the threshold, closing the door behind him. Aventurine tugs again, but Ratio doesn't move this time.
“Enough, Aventurine.” Ratio's voice cuts through Aventurine's usual shenanigans, and he holds Aventurine away from him, eyes down turned.
“Ratio?” Aventurine blinks, not expecting that at all. After long beats of silence with no answer, he tries again, louder this time, "What's wrong?” Aventurine stared up into his eyes to try and piece together what was going on.
‘C’mon, look at me.. Please..’
Ratio doesn't answer immediately again. He just stands there, his body feeling almost tense. Tightly wound, ready to snap at any time.
“.. We need to talk… About our relationship.” Ratio begins, and Aventurine knows very well how this will end. He knows exactly what Ratio means and hates how severe his reaction is. He knows why this came up and he can guess how Ratio is feeling.
No.
No.
‘No no no no no.’
Suddenly it feels like everything around Aventurine dies. It feels like everything inside him dies. His heart all but stopped beating to become lodged in his throat, his teeth coming down hard into his cheek, so hard he could taste metal in his mouth.
‘Shit..’
This sucked. This sucked. Aventurine was a goddamn idiot, letting himself come to need something so special that hadn't even actually been there in the first place.
He had grown so reliant on those soft touches, the quick glances. Ratio himself.
He came to cherish and love something that started because Aventurine was a fucking coward. Because he wanted to shove it in Topaz's face that he could hold a relationship instead of only holding people in a single night of pleasure. He wanted to prove he could love someone.
He seriously needed to stop thinking about love. He couldn't get his hopes up anymore.
“Right..” Aventurine says finally, the words cracking in his throat, chipping like broken glass.
He slowly backs away despite every part of him coming back alive only to scream at him to go back. Go walk up into the arms that once held him in the most peaceful sleep he's ever had after a blissful night of pleasure. The same arms he had admired back at the café. He wanted so badly to go up to him and beg him not to end this.
“Should.. Should we sit?” The words barely make it out around the lump in his throat, his eyes threatening to let tears fall from them.
‘Don't you fucking cry.’
“Lets sit.” Ratio nods, his voice softening like that could somehow also soften the blow he was about to give. Much like a kiss before a gun shot. Or more accurately, a kiss to the bullet he was about to shoot.
They both walk to the couch, every step feeling like another nail in the coffin. Another assurance that this talk was unavoidable and it would end everything shortly there after.
The couch dips when they both sit, Ratio meeting Aventurine's gaze for only a second before rubbing his neck and looking away.
Aventurine prepares for the worst. He's already halfway through reforming his walls, plastering it up higher and higher when,
“I can't keep going like this. This isn't what I want anymore. It was never what I wanted with you.” Ratio stops, staring down at his lap before his eyes lift to Aventurine's. And they stay there, his eyes soft. Aventurine's never seen them so vulnerable before. “I want so much more than this with you. And it's greedy to say such a thing, but I want you to myself.. I… I want to have so much more than a single night. I want you every night, not the emptiness you leave behind.”
When Ratio takes another pause, Aventurine can only stare at him.
‘He.. No he's playing me, he can't want me.. Why would he want me?’
But the sincerity on Ratio's face told a different story.
“So.. If you'll have me, I'd.. I'd quite like to start this over again. The way I should have.” Ratio adds, a faint blush coating his cheeks.
‘No fucking way this is real..’
Aventurine blinks at him, and Ratio stares back, that blush still evident but his eyes much less confident.
“You.. Do you actually mean that?” Aventurine chokes on the words, his gaze blurring.
Ratio extends a hand to Aventurine, waiting for him to take it. “I couldn't bring myself to lie to you. Not ever.”
Aventurine is thrown back to that night he was drunk. No one has been this soft with him.
Aventurine chokes on the spit accumulating in his mouth, eyes letting a few tears spill over. Aventurine wipes his eyes quickly.
“S-sorry, I didn't expect to actually cry.” Aventurine says it with a forced laugh.
Ratio blinks in surprise and reaches out, stopping Aventurine's hands. “What are you sorry for? Human emotions?” He asks, his words and face upset.
Aventurine stares at him like he was going to suddenly say ‘just kidding!’ and leave him like Aventurine expected him to. Like most everyone did.
But those hands didn't move from his. Ratio didn't stop staring at him with concern and love in his eyes.
“How can you mean all that you said?” Aventurine whispers, his throat tightening. It begins to hurt to swallow, only adding to the urge to cry.
“Because you have me wrapped around your finger. I would bottle a star for you, and watch my hand melt from the heat with a smile, knowing that star would make you smile. I would do anything for you, if you'd let me, Aventurine. I would do it in a heartbeat.. You made me realize what love is, and I want nothing but that love with you.”
“We were never actually—” Aventurine tried to protest, but Ratio placed a finger over his mouth.
“We never dated. But the love I feel for you was always genuine. I don’t think I could ever not love you.”
Aventurine breathes out slowly, squeezing Ratio's hands. “No one's said that to me before..” He confesses softly.
He can't recall one person he's been romantically involved with who's said they loved him. Or even liked him, for that matter.
But it figures the one man Aventurine picks as mostly a joke, is the one he hears those words from. That he craves to hear those words from.
“.. Can you say it again?”
“I love you.” Ratio says with no hesitation, a smile on his lips now.
“Again.” Aventurine requests, tears blurring his sight. He doesn't wipe them this time.
“I love you.” Ratio repeats. “I'll say it as many times as you need me to.” Ratio adds.
“Keep saying it then.. Please.” Aventurine cuddles closer to the other, pressing his head close to Ratio's chest, hearing how his heart beats, and how it seems to pass into his own body and reach to his own heart, matching the beat.
“I love you.” Ratio says again. And again. And again, until Aventurine is asleep in his arms. And he would continue to say it when he woke up.
♡
Aventurine wakes up rather cold.
His heart stops for a second, the worst flooding into his head again.
‘He left. He chickened out at the last second. Fuck, how could I let this happen?’
As he regained his senses, he could hear a faint sizzling coming from his kitchen, and while vanilla drifted slowly into his nose, the smell of something burnt followed shortly after.
Stretching himself out of bed, he goes out to investigate, hair probably a mess, and face no better.
The sight he's greeted with is one he wants engraved into his mind.
Ratio is standing over the stove, an apron that's much too small for him, (Aventurine doesn't even know where he found the thing in his apartment) and a few, very burnt pieces of bacon laying on a pan with pancakes right next to them.
“Good morning.” Ratio turns to Aventurine with a soft smile on his lips. “Did you sleep alright? I'm sorry I left you to wake up alone.. And for using your kitchen, I–”
Aventurine is wrapped around Ratio in a matter of seconds, hands securing around the front of Ratio tightly.
“Don't apologize.”
Ratio exhales slowly, one hand over Aventurine's. “Alright then.. But I should warn you, I can't cook very well.” As Ratio says it, Aventurine laughs, squeezing Ratio tighter. He was going to marry this man if it was the last thing he did.
“Neither can I.” Aventurine admits, peeking over Ratio's shoulder. The pancakes looked good, despite the bacon being darker than the abyss.
“You can't be serious. Why have this massive kitchen then?” Ratio jokes, and they both laugh in tandem.
“Well maybe I'm overcompensating for something.” Aventurine giggles. Ratio shakes his head.
“I would beg to differ. You.. surprised me last night” He says, looking back at Aventurine briefly.
“I hope it was a pleasant surprise.” Aventurine teases, slipping one hand out to come and rest on top of Ratio's. “... Can I ask you something?”
“Of course. Anything for you.”
“Will you go out with me? For real this time?.. And if it goes well, maybe be my real boyfriend?” Aventurine asks hesitantly, all that prior suave and flirtatious gone with the wind.
Ratio turns around, now facing Aventurine and holding his face gently. “I could be your boyfriend now.”
Aventurine pulls Ratio down gently to kiss him, and it feels like heaven. After so long, to actually be kissing him, not drunk off his ass, Aventurine must be the luckiest man alive.
Aventurine tilts his head to kiss him deeper, and as Ratio matches him, the smell of burning wafts into their noses, pulling them back to reality.
Turning back to the stove, the pancakes are burnt, much like their fallen brother in arms, the bacon.
“.. How about breakfast for that first date?” Ratio chuckles, Aventurine following suit.
Kissing the top of Aventurine's head, Ratio smooths a hand over his hair after.
They stare into each other's eyes in blissful silence for a while when,
“..I love you.” Aventurine says it. And for the first time that sick feeling is gone entirely. It feels nice to say it.
“I love you too.” Ratio returns.