Chapter Text
Azuma wasn't at her desk.
Taira had poked his head into her classroom furtively, expecting to catch her eye from where she usually sat, in the middle of a bunch of loud girls who frankly intimidated him, but she wasn't there. She hadn’t been at the train station that morning, and she wasn’t in her classroom just before lunch ended or in the afternoon. Taira just wanted to return a textbook. How slippery could one girl be?
At the end of the day, Taira made his way to Suzuki's classroom, where their friend group tended to congregate. He sat on a desk near Tani--something of a ritual of theirs.
"Hey," he said, his affected surliness second nature by now. "Have you seen Azuma?"
If Tani was bothered by the lack of lead-in, he didn't show it. "No, but I usually don't see her until around this time of day anyway, if I see her at all," he said, and that was all.
That was one thing Taira appreciated about Tani: he always said the exact right amount of words, and never asked questions about things that weren't his business. Even though his reasons were innocuous, Taira didn't need anyone asking him why he was hunting all over the school for a girl.
Sighing, he pulled out his phone and opened his (sparse) DM with Azuma.
T: are you at school today? I've been trying to find you to give back this English textbook
The gang was yapping at their usual breakneck pace about the kinds of things they normally chatted about, with Taira jumping in to provide sarcastic commentary every so often. To be honest, he suspected they sometimes said things on purpose to get a reaction from him. At least once, he'd heard Watanabe call something Yamada said "Taira bait." Not that he minded, if he was totally honest. The tiniest smile crept onto his face without his knowledge.
His phone buzzed.
A: oh sry! I'm sick actually so I'm home today 😷 mind holding onto it for a couple days? I can get it when im back
Taira stared at the screen.
It wasn't a shock that Azuma was sick--it was the season for it, anyway--it was just... Had she not told anyone? Her friends?
He looked back at Suzuki, Yamada, Watanabe and the rest. They all seemed so carefree. Not that that was anything new, but it just seemed like if they knew, there would be some kind of... Production about it. Maybe they’d forgotten?
"Hey, Suzuki," Taira said as soon as he could get her attention. "Have you seen Azuma anywhere today?"
Suzuki made a show of thinking about it. Taira knew she actually was thinking about it, but Suzuki never did anything without making a show of it.
"I haven't seen Azu anywhere today, come to think of it," she said, then her mood flipped comically to exaggerated anxiety: "wait, if I only just noticed, does that make me a bad friend?"
"She probably went home already," Watanabe interjected, drawing Suzuki's attention back to their conversation. She definitely had some crazy scheme for the afternoon and needed Suzuki’s buy-in.
"Did you need Azuma?" Sato asked, materializing by Taira’s shoulder. "She wasn't in class today. I'm not sure what’s going on. I texted her but..." She shrugged. "Maybe she's sick or something."
"Just trying to return a book," Taira grunted, and Sato nodded. Sato also wasn’t someone who asked nosy questions.
She really hasn't told anyone, Taira thought.
Well... Except me??
Why would Azuma neglect responding to her friends, but respond to him within a couple minutes? His head hurt. Maybe it was because he had texted her with something he actually needed, and she didn’t want to leave him hanging?
Maybe he should tell the others... But then, he thought wryly, he couldn't imagine that a whole troupe of loud friends in your bedroom would do anything but wear you out, sick or not. He got up to go.
"I can let her know about the book, if you want," Sato offered, but Taira shook his head.
"I can just text her. Thanks anyway."
Taira's feet carried him homeward without much input from his brain.
Should he respond? Should he acknowledge what she said? What are you supposed to say to someone who’s sick, but sounds nonchalant about it? He wanted to ask why she hadn't told anyone else, but he couldn't think of a way to ask that didn't make him sound like an idiot.
He found himself in front of the convenience store for some reason. He didn’t have a shift today.
If he was the only one Azuma told... Did she expect him to come check on her? The thought of being seen by his old classmates while going to Azuma's house made him shudder. She would know that too. Surely she wouldn't expect him to come check on her...?
And what if she didn’t expect him to check on her? If that was the case, his dropping by without notice would be unwelcome… right? He didn’t want her to feel like she had to play host when she already wasn’t feeling well. Plus, she probably didn’t want to see him anyway. Why would she?
Then again, if she expected him not to check on her, that also bothered him. It's not like he's totally callous. He's awkward, but it’s not like he’s not thoughtful (or at least trying to be). It's not like he doesn’t c... ca..... Mind if Azuma is sick.
A few hundred yen later, he left the convenience store and boarded the train back to his neighborhood with a bag of a couple drinks and cup ramens. It seemed like the right thing to do.
He was about to embarrass himself.
At Azuma’s front door, he watched his fist knock without quite believing what he was doing. Isn't this too... Hmm... Friend-like? Intimate, even? Does Azuma even consider him a friend?
But Azuma had told him she was sick. She had told ONLY him. And for someone who was in an upper social "tier" (was she? What did that even mean? Did he even believe in that stuff anymore??), she could be weirdly dodgy and uncommunicative when she needed something.
She probably didn't want to be a burden. And either she didn't mind burdening him... Or she thought he wouldn't care that she was sick. That he wouldn't be burdened with worries about her.
Well, he told himself, she’s wrong. This is a huge pain and I'm thinking about it way too much. Unlike someone like Suzuki or Yamada who think about everything the minimum amount.
The door opened a crack. Azuma squinted and blinked in the light, then her eyes went wide.
She was pallid behind the mask she was wearing. Her hair was piled in a bun on top of her head, wisps of it sweat-plastered to her forehead. She wore sweat pants, and a camisole under an oversized cardigan. She looked unkempt and weirdly vulnerable. After years of knowing her, Taira had never seen her like this before.
Oh. I am a creep. He had not been bargaining for this.
“Hey.” His voice squeaked. He cursed inwardly.
“Taira? What are you doing here?” Her voice came out very raspy. She hastily buttoned her cardigan and tugged it down around her waist, and attempted to smooth her bumpy hair (it didn’t make a difference).
“Yikes, you sound awful,” Taira blurted out before he could think about it. He immediately backpedaled. “Sorry, I mean-- it’s just-- you said you were sick. It seemed like the others didn’t know…? And I thought I should probably. I don’t know. Uhh, here,” he finished lamely, holding out the plastic bag to her.
She started laughing, and the laughing turned into coughing. It sounded painful.
She opened the door wider, motioning him inside. He hesitated. Would going in make him a creep? Would it be rude to refuse? Was it more embarrassing to be seen entering or exiting, or to be hanging out on the doorstep where anyone passing by might see? Should he just go, or should he stick around long enough to… ask how she was feeling, or something? What do people even do when they visit sick people?
He stepped inside. “Um, excuse the intrusion.”
It was kind of dark when the door closed behind him; Azuma turned on a lamp, blinking painfully at the light.
“I can’t believe you did this,” she spoke again, her voice still husky, and muffled under the mask. He could tell that she was grinning her usual Azuma grin under her drooping, dark-circled eyes. She took the bag Taira offered and started rummaging a bit. “Woah, you even got my favorite cup ramen! Did you know?”
She looked up at him and swayed suddenly, catching herself on the wall.
“Woah, um, are you okay?” Taira asked, immediately feeling like it was a lame thing to say—of course she wasn’t okay. He didn’t know what to do with his hands.
“Sorry,” she gasped, “I got headrush.”
But you barely moved your head?!
“Is it okay for you to be standing up?” Taira asked. “Sorry. I can leave now.”
She smiled weakly, still leaning heavily against the wall. “No, thanks for this. I really didn’t expect you to come. I mean, you didn’t have to.”
Taira grimaced. “It’s not like I was just going to ignore you.” It came out with a bit softer, more gentle than he intended.
“Okay, okay,” she coughed, her eyes crinkling. “Anyway, this is great. I was running out of stuff to drink besides water. I thought I was going to have to get delivery or something, with my parents gone.”
“Your parents are gone?” he was a bit concerned now. “Do you have medicine and stuff?”
“Yeah. They’ll be back late tonight, so it’s fine. This is great for now. Thanks.” Despite the wall’s support, she started to lose her balance and slide to the side. She looked bleary.
“Are… you going to be able to get back to your room alright?” Taira asked. He didn’t know how he was planning to help, but her lack of coordination was concerning. It was his fault she was on her feet, anyway.
“Sure,” she said with too much confidence, before taking two lurching steps and catching herself on a table. “Maybe.”
Taira huffed, pretending to be indignant. It was a good way to hide the anxiety. Around his brain screaming what are you doing, you creep?!, he considered his options.
“Here,” he said gruffly, coming up next to her and stooping. “If you want some help.”
Azuma giggle-coughed again. Accepting his invitation, she draped her arm over his shoulders for support, leaning on him heavily.
He wasn’t sure what to do with his arm. It sort of floated behind her in case she were to fall again. Wrapping it around her waist was definitely off-limits.
She was very warm. And she was soft. Taira felt heat rising to his cheeks.
I’m SUCH a creep.
“Ahh, I forgot the bag,” she slurred.
“I’ll get it.” At the threshold of her room, Taira paused and cautiously ducked out from under her arm. He really would be a creep if he entered her room now, like that.
By the time he had retrieved the bag from where she dropped it near the front door, she had gotten into bed. Her cardigan lay on the floor. Taira scolded himself for even noticing that.
“Um… should I…?” he asked, hovering awkwardly at the threshold. She motioned him in. He steeled himself and came closer.
“Can you hand me the tea?”
She sat up to take a drink.
Watching her felt wrong, but so did looking around her room, so Taira rummaged aimlessly in the bag. Then Azuma’s stomach growled.
“What flavor do you want?” Taira asked. “For ramen I mean. I can boil water. If you want.”
“You don’t have to—”
“You can’t even stand up. What flavor do you want?”
When he came back a few minutes later, steaming cup of instant ramen in hand, Azuma was asleep. The sight stopped Taira in his tracks. She had discarded her mask and was breathing peacefully. A spear of golden afternoon light had snuck through her curtains, and it cut its way across her face and shoulder. One hand curled softly on the pillow next to her face; the other draped over the edge of her bed. It was… oddly mesmerizing? And Taira was absolutely the world’s biggest creep. He needed to get out now.
Azuma’s eyelids fluttered open and fixed on him. He panicked for half a second before she spoke.
“You really did make ramen! Thank you so much. And, um, sorry.” Her face looked a bit flushed. Maybe she had a fever.
Sorry? What for? If anyone should be apologizing, it’s probably me.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said, setting the cup down on her night table with some chopsticks he had found in the kitchen. She sat up right away and dug in.
“This is great,” she sighed. Then, “I didn’t know you were such a good cook.”
Not too sick to mess with me, I guess.
Taira rolled his eyes. “Give me a break.”
She smiled back at him—an easy, relaxed smile, despite the exhaustion in her eyes. Despite the fact that Taira had shown up unannounced, seen her vulnerable, and thought creepy thoughts. It was like she was glad he was there, and that made him feel weird.
“I’m going to head out now. Um. If you’re all good.”
“I’m fine. Thanks Taira. Seriously.”
He managed a wobbly smile before turning and leaving as quickly as possible, hoping the embarrassment wasn’t turning his face pink.