He opens the door, and there stands his sister with her arms crossed, just like he expected. Susan Storm-Richards takes the opportunity to examine her brother thoroughly. His shirt is half way unbuttoned down his chest, his clothes are wrinkled, and his hair is unusually messy. She invites herself in and Johnny closes the door. He turns to face his sister, whose expression displays nothing but concern. They all act like everything’s okay, but they worry about me. They all do. He smiles. The smile is fake and forced. I wanna be my old self again. I wanna be normal again, even if I’m just pretending. "Are you okay, Johnny? We haven’t heard from you in days", she inquires. His smile fades. It’s true. Johnny hasn’t contacted them since his run-in with Hawkeye. They know Johnny’s been through a lot, so they decided to give him some space. Eyeing the slight discoloration on her sibling’s right cheek, Sue reaches her hand out towards him, but he pulls away before she can touch his face. "I’m fine, Sue", he says wearily. "Quit worrying about me", he adds while trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. Noticing her brother’s fatigue, Susan furrows her brow. "Did you just wake up?”, she questions. Johnny falls silent in affirmation. “Johnny, it’s 3pm”, she scolds. “I know”, he tells her, in annoyance, although he has just became aware of the fact. Susan places her hands on her hips in response to her brother’s tone of voice. Then she gives him ‘the look’. God, I hate that look. "We don’t hear from you in days, you pick fights with the Avengers. Johnny, what’s going on?", she interrogates. Johnny huffs and walks past her, heading back to his room. "Johnny!", she calls out, while she follows behind him.
Johnny sits at the side of his bed. “I know you, Johnny. This isn’t like you”, she says. Johnny stands up to face his sister. His voice is loud as he vehemently shouts back, “You don’t know me, Sue!” He glares at her with narrowed eyes, “No one knows me.” He then lowers his eyes and his voice reverts back to normal as he states, “I don’t even know me.” Turning and facing the window, he refuses to look at his sister. He gets a sudden surge of confliction. A part of him just wants to let it all out, and another part of him just wants to supress it all. “Johnny, whatever’s going on, you can tell me”, she assures him. If theres one person in this world he can trust, it’s Sue. She has taken care of him his entire life and not once has he ever doubted her integrity. He’s reticent to tell her, but he feels like he needs to get this off his chest.
"I was put into arenas. I refused to fight and I died over and over again", he says. "But after the fifth or sixth time, I couldn’t take it anymore. I honestly lost count after that." He pauses for a brief moment before continuing, "And everytime I died, I felt like I was losing a part of myself. Parts that, no matter how many times I’m resurrected, I could never get back." Johnny takes a deep breath before making his final revelation, "I killed people, Sue." It hits her like a punch to the face. Her heart sinks to the pit of her stomach and she almost feels sick. He tries to fight back his tears, but he loses the battle and tears stream down his face. Sue gazes at her sibling in awe. She seen him cry before but not like this.
Johnny lowers his head, trying to hide his face in embarrassment. Susan approaches her brother and stands by his side. “Johnny…I..”, she begins, as she places her hand on his shoulder. He tries to shrug her off, prompting her to pull away her hand. Then, without raising his head, without looking at his sister, he finally speaks. “Please, Sue, just go.” He doesn’t want to hurt his sister, but it comes out cold and mean. Sue’s eyes go wide in shock. It wasn’t what he said, it was the way he said it. His tone of voice. He has never spoken to her that way before.
Sue doesn’t protest and makes her way towards the door. Before she departs, she stops at the door and glances once more at her brother. With his back still facing her, tears fill Susan’s eyes as she turns and leaves the room. Johnny sighes as he crouches down and holds his head in his hands. I didn’t mean to push her away, but I can’t deal with this right now. I just want to be left alone.