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Ever since the events of the Winter Festival, Tenna had gleefully embraced a double-life.
On one hand, he was Ant Tenna, the head honcho over at TTV Studios in the big City! Even though he had taken a step back and handed some of his metaphorical hats to other capable members of the team, he still called the shots. His days were filled with challenges, but he wasn't dealing with them alone, not anymore. Nearly losing it all at the whim of a sharp personality executive made Tenna belatedly realise the mistakes he had made over the years.
On the other hand… He was still Ant Tenna, only this version of him lived a quieter life in Snowdin. Ever since the events of the previous winter a few months earlier, the little town had become his home away from home. The residents had gotten quite used to the shock of seeing a regional celebrity waiting outside the school for a little pure-white Addison with antennae topped with golden baubles, or going into the grocery store to pick up some vegetables.
This was a glimpse into a life where he could take a better step back from the spotlight - not fully, he wasn't ready to retire! - and embrace a normal, domestic life. In a way, that was all he had ever wanted. He'd only had a brief taste of life as part of a real family setting in his youth, and he was sure he would never have the chance again when Spamton disappeared from the city on that fateful night. After spending three years with the monster of his dreams, Tenna knew no one else would give him that sense of 'family'.
And, waiting was worth it.
Sitting in Spamton's tiny, rented apartment, idly checking work emails on the couch while Angel finished their homework was something truly perfect. Tenna knew he wanted this for the rest of his life.
Usually, Spamton would be there too, but the Addison had been taking on more odd jobs to try and prove he was still 'useful', as he once insisted to Tenna. The host tried to remind Spamton that it was important not to push himself, but Spamton argued that the accident had been six years ago and that he didn't want to stay worthless forever.
Tenna knew it was his fault for not looking harder for Spamton. He should have made an effort. He could have made sure Spamton didn't have this high sense of urgency to ignore his limits. But he was here now. He could help now.
"Pop?" Angel looked up from their work, their little antennae bobbing as they tilted their head, "When's Dad coming home?"
Tenna hummed as he glanced down at his phone to check the time. "Should be soon. Why?"
"He told me we were getting takeaway for dinner ‘cause it’s Friday!"
"Ah! You're absolutely right! He did say something about burgers, didn't he?" Tenna waited for Angel to nod in excitement before he rose to his feet. "Then we'd better get this place tidy. Will we get to it?"
"Yeah!"
It was amazing how easily Tenna had adjusted to this life. He had a loving partner and a child. Tenna! A parent! Sometimes he looked at the little Addison-TV child and couldn't help but feel a surge of affection for the family he was finally allowed to have. Was this the ‘honeymoon phase’ that people spoke about when referring to adjusting to a new positive in life? The joke was on them - Tenna wanted to do this forever! If he’d known, he would have been knocking on the door six years ago! Here, Tenna could take a knife out of the drawer and balance on his long nose to make Angel burst into laughter. Then, in the moment that it took him to grab the rest of the cutlery, Angel had stacked the placemats on top of their head and beamed when their Pop snickered at the sight.
With the table cleared and the placemats all set out neatly, Tenna turned his attention to fetching glasses out of the cupboard. At the same time, the front door of the apartment clicked open.
"DAD!!" That was the only warning Tenna got to confirm that Angel had abandoned their duty of getting napkins and sped out of the room. He placed the glasses down and followed. Angel threw themself into a kneeling Spamton's arms just as the star peered around the doorway.
In a moment like that, where father and child tightly hugged, it was easy to make yourself think it was Spamton who lived in the city and could only visit for short spells. But no, the two were so close that it was impossible to deny how precious that bond was. Tenna was grateful that he didn't feel jealous of it. After all, he was still new to this family, and he had the bumps to show that Angel would also try their best to tackle him to the ground for a reunion hug when he did return from the city.
Spamton gently pushed Angel back and rummaged in his jacket pocket. A piece of paper was passed over, and Angel quietly skimmed it. Both golden-tipped antennae drooped.
"... You can't talk?"
Spamton nodded slowly.
"Busy day at work?" Tenna decided to step in by literally approaching and lifting the forgotten brown paper bag of takeout food off the floor. "Angel, could you go into the kitchen and fetch your dad a bottle of water from the fridge?"
"Yes Pop!" The child sped off. Now it was Tenna's turn to kneel down and kiss Spamton on the cheek as 'payment' for helping the Addison back onto his feet.
"Welcome home, Snow. You look stiff. Are you working tomorrow?"
Spamton shook his head with a smile that Tenna took to mean 'I couldn't, even if I wanted to'.
A good old-fashioned burger and fries meal from a family-run takeaway diner was the dinner of the day for everyone to celebrate the end of the week. Angel was in high spirits, excitedly talking enough for the two adults as they recounted their day and other things that had happened.
When Spamton did need to reply, he used a small whiteboard that was roughly the size of a placemat and a pen, erasing it with a cloth once the message had been read. His handwriting was large enough for Tenna to read from a distance. If Angel was used to their dad having bad days that left him mute, it was little wonder that their reading and writing was a little better than their peers.
Tenna watched the interaction curiously. He knew how parents worked. Something had happened, but Spamton was keeping it to himself. However, he also remembered how Spamton behaved when they were dating in their younger days. If there was something he didn't want to talk about, he did everything in his power to push it aside and change the topic as abruptly as possible.
In the end, it didn't help. Spamton was secretive, Tenna was tetchy. When they both needed to talk, they didn't because that was how their relationship had developed. Ultimately, that lack of honesty destroyed their relationship.
After Spamton had taken him back, Tenna had sworn that he would never let that happen again. If there was a problem, it needed to be discussed. They could face anything if they worked together. That's how they could both be 'big' now. They could take the other by the hand and make every important step in tandem, as a team.
Tenna knew at that moment that he was going to do everything in his power to help Spamton feel better tonight. The lack of a voice was something they could work around. Not only was there a whiteboard, but Spamton had always been very expressive. It would be easy to piece together what he wanted to say.
What was more concerning, however, was the discomfort Spamton seemed to be in. Something as simple as sitting on a kitchen chair was making the Addison shuffle and fidget. Tenna had fetched painkillers when requested, alongside the rest of Spamton's regular medication, but it was clear that wasn't enough to ease whatever was making him wince. Something else had happened during the day. But what could that have been? He was helping his brother in the little clothes store. Surely that couldn't be super physically demanding, right?
The evening was quiet after dinner. The family settled to watch a movie together on the couch, curled up together in front of the little TV on the console table. As before, Tenna couldn't help but notice how Spamton was struggling to keep still like nothing was wrong. Fortunately, Angel sat on the other side of Tenna and was oblivious to the fidgeting.
Once that finished, Tenna decided he would handle Angel's night routine alone, pointing out that Spamton had worked hard and deserved to take it easy.
Angel hurried over to hug Spamton and receive a kiss on the forehead before following after Tenna. They were six years old, almost at the age where they could complete most of the night routine by themself, but Tenna enjoyed the little bit of extra quality time. Plus, Angel was known for staying awake so it was important to make sure that they had properly wound down once they climbed into bed.
By the time Tenna returned, he discovered Spamton had adjusted himself to lie across the entire couch. Already, he looked more relaxed. A fond smile spread across Tenna's screen as he chose to sit on the floor just beside Spamton's head.
"Is lying down helping?"
Spamton nodded, turning his head to look at his partner. When he tried to speak, however, Tenna reached up and softly placed a finger on his lips.
"Rest your voice. Use your whiteboard. I don't mind reading over your shoulder."
It was a compromise that Spamton didn't look too happy to agree to, but he began to shuffle himself up until he was half-sitting, half-lying across the couch. Tenna should have taken advantage of this to initiate a cuddle, but he wanted to be able to help as much as he could before he brought Spamton to bed to rest properly.
The soft squeaking of the markers nib against the whiteboard caught Tenna's attention.
Work sucked. >:^(
"It did? But you were working with Rose. I thought you liked that."
A scowl crossed Spamton's face as he erased the message and wrote a new one:
Yeah. I was there because Solas was sick. But Rose had to leave to deliver something to a client. I was alone in the shop for two hours.
Spamton stopped writing, glancing at Tenna to figure out whether the message had been read before erasing and continuing.
I should have refused. But Solas was sick. Rose would have been stuck.
"So you had those pains all day?" Tenna's question prompted a nod while Spamton erased. "I had noticed your movement wasn't great, but I thought it was because of how you slept."
After Spamton's accident, a lot had changed. It was taking Tenna longer than he liked to figure out everything that happened to Spamton. The Addison was so tight-lipped; despite the agreement for honest communication. Tenna didn’t push it, knowing that the general topic of how Spamton’s body currently was brought with it a heavy dose of shame. He had to remind himself to be patient. Tenna wasn’t the one living with the changes in every single moment. He wasn't the one who had to relearn skills and learn new limits.
I fucked up. I tried to stock a shelf and pulled something in my back. I went to the dressing room to lie on the bench for a minute to let it pass.
Tenna winced in sympathy. His poor mailman was so prone to bouts of weakness.
Then fucking Jerry.
"Who?"
Instead of erasing, Spamton simply wrote "JERRY" a second time underneath, larger than before. This time, he added a crude doodle of a short monster with a head that vaguely resembled a UFO, three spikes on the top bump, a pair of arms, two pairs of legs, and a snooty scowl. Somehow, despite not knowing a lot of the residents, Tenna recognised this one.
"He's the one that keeps to himself, right?"
Spamton scribbled "because we all fucking hate him" in the smallest handwriting at the bottom of the board before quickly wiping it clean.
"... The good in me wants to say 'surely he can't be that bad', but your expression says otherwise." As he spoke, he reached up to remove the tinted sunglasses while dimming his own screen. "What happened?"
Spamton hesitated, masking this by blinking and pretending his vision was adjusting to the correct lighting of the room. Then, he began to write in a small handwriting that gave Tenna the clue that he was getting the full story.
Rose has a bell on the counter. You know that. If the shop floor's empty you tap it once. That's the rule, literally written on the counter. He rang it twenty-eight times in three seconds. Or something stupid like that. And my back is acting up so I can't immediately jump up. By the time I get out, that fucker had taken the bell and was marching around like he was leading a damn parade.
"He didn't even have the decency to wait?" Tenna couldn't even pretend to hide the shock in his voice. Not even the impatient city-dwellers were that bad!
Spamton, in response, paused mid-erasure to look Tenna in the screen with his damaged eyes. The deadpan expression was a sufficient response.
When he saw me he said that he couldn't believe the ugly brother was working.
"What?!"
He's got a crush on Rose.
Tenna shuddered while that horrific revelation was quickly removed from existence. Poor Rose…
So I point out that I'm the one who's in a happy relationship and he's not. Then he says "Your partner must be scarred for life".
The host's antennae dropped. Oh no.
Everyone in town knows about my fucking accident. They know I nearly died and how long it's taken me to get this far and
Spamton stopped writing so he could furiously rub his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket, uncaring about the button that scratched the skin. Immediately, Tenna was on his knees, pulling Spamton into a tight hug. He didn't want to hear the rest of the story, not when it was focused on such a sensitive topic.
But there was the faintest pressure pushing against him, and so Tenna let go. Spamton, stubborn as always, wiped the board clean and kept writing. The penmanship was much shaker than before.
I don't need reminders of how much I hate this. I look in the mirror and see the mistakes of working for that asshole on my face. I can't do simple fucking things like help in a shop. How the fuck am I supposed to support Angel? I'm sick of being a leech.
"You're not a leech. Don't ever let yourself believe that." Tenna reached out once more to offer a loose hug that wrapped around Spamton's stomach and back. "I admire you so much for everything you've been through and how far you've come. Even in the short time I've been here." He paused to lift himself up and kiss Spamton on the temple. "Let me help cover the bills, please. I know I'm still in the city, but this is pretty much my real home. I want to do what I can."
With his arms unrestrained, Spamton could write. Tenna shifted himself to gently rest his head against the Addison's shoulder.
I'm sorry. Addisons are known for taking care of themselves and
"And there's nothing wrong with having others here,” Tenna gently finished. “A family works together. I want to be here for you. I don't want you putting yourself under pressure because you feel you have to. Work within your limits, Snowdrop."
Spamton clearly had something to say with how he wiped the board, but Tenna snaked a hand up to turn Spamton's cheek and guide him into a kiss. In the moment of distraction, Tenna's other hand awkwardly reached around, grabbed the whiteboard, and blindly tossed it aside.
"I love you, Snow. Let me help you. Please?"
Pale pink eyes lowered, shameful of being unable to be fully independent, but Spamton gave a resigned nod.
"And I can start by helping you right now. Come on! You need some TLC!"
The bath filled up with bubbles while Tenna helped Spamton slowly undress in a bathroom that was just able to fit said bathtub in it. An action that should have been straightforward was causing a strain on Spamton's body.
It wasn't the first time Spamton had undressed in front of Tenna, but the Addison's hands did move to try and cover up his very thin frame. It was the perfect opportunity to lighten the mood, and Tenna quickly snatched a hand away so he could duck down and blow a raspberry against Spamton's stomach. The lack of a voice didn't stop Spamton from shaking with laughter. If anything, the silence only encouraged Tenna to use his free hand to lightly tickle just below Spamton's waist.
To Tenna's delight, Spamton wheezed with silent laughter, and he only stopped this brutal assault once the laughs turned into coughs.
At least it was a good way to pass the time while the bath was filling up!
With the bath perfectly prepared and at just the right temperature, Tenna helped ease Spamton in. Immediately, Spamton's body relaxed as he slumped against the curved edge of the bath. One hand did rise up, opening and closing in Tenna's general direction.
Tenna, who was in the middle of grabbing several towels, chuckled softly at the sight. He bent down, taking the back of the hand and kissing it. "No. I'm not joining you tonight. This is all about you. I want you nice and relaxed before we go to bed." This playful scolding was finished by Tenna lightly tapping the tip of Spamton's nose.
Spamton rolled his eyes, his cheeks turning pink. It was hard to tell whether it was embarrassment or from the warmth of the bath.
Instead of questioning this,Tenna decided to shift the topic a little while setting out one folded towel to kneel on. "Besides, I like taking care of you. Helps me show you how much I love you." As though distracted by the mere mention of the word 'love', Tenna took the opportunity of being closer to start leaving kisses on Spamton's shoulder on a slow quest to the base of his neck. As the lips reached that familiar sensitive spot, Spamton shuddered and let out a shaky sigh. That snapped him back to the present and made him press a hand on the top of Tenna's head to push the star away.
"Sorry, sorry!" the TV laughed, not meaning a word of it, "Would you mind leaning forward and showing me what parts of your back hurt?"
As Spamton loosely gestured to his entire back, Tenna removed his gloves and rolled up his sleeves. Though he was a technological monster, he was fortunately one that could survive in the water. His hands had a soft plastic-like skin rather than metal with exposed wires. He dipped his hands into the sudsy water to warm them up, then finally set to work.
Larger hands meant it was a lot easier to really press the fingers against the Addison's tense body to work through the knots and aches. Spamton shuddered several times from the impact, but there was no attempt to try and make Tenna stop. As much as the current moment stung, it was starting to help. Slowly, Tenna felt the body relax underneath him.
"Is this helping any?"
Spamton weakly hummed, accompanying this with a nod. When Tenna peered over Spamton's shoulder to double-check, he was rewarded with a light kiss.
"I'll do this for as long as you need, okay? I'm not letting you go to bed feeling stiff. Is it just your back?"
Shame crept in once more as Spamton shook his head and waved a hand over his shoulders and hips. Presumably, the ache in the back had a knock-on effect of putting extra pressure on the limbs. Tenna didn't know the full extent of Spamton's injuries after his accident and what lingered afterward, but he did know they were extensive. He saw it in the way Spamton sometimes limped when tired, or when he used his hands alongside his sunglasses to further block out bright lights. A lot had changed, but that didn't mean recovery was impossible. His hands worked on easing the muscles on the hips, mindful to not accidentally prod anything too harshly while going between washing and massaging.
Overhead, Spamton slumped back against the ceramic of the bath, finally comfortable enough to let the tension go. It allowed Tenna a chance to glance up at the torso. Spamton, from what Tenna had learned, had been struggling to gain weight over the last few years. He guessed it was from a combination of having virtually no money to his name along with the stress of both the trauma of losing everything and being a single parent.
At least Spamton had returned to his home town, where his brother could help him start over. Tenna didn't want to consider what the alternative might have been…
But in the short time Tenna had been here, he had noticed how Spamton's form had started to fill out a little. It wasn't a giant leap of progress, but it was harder to see the bones at a glance. At last, Spamton was able to properly recover. It was something further emphasised by how his fur had begun to grow a little more. There were scars that Tenna had almost completely forgotten about because the fur was now long enough to hide them at a glance. It didn't fully erase the hardships, but it was a step toward helping Spamton learn to like who he saw in the mirror - a lesson that Tenna knew Spamton was struggling with.
But Tenna was here now - and he should have been here this whole time. He was going to help Spamton on his journey of healing, support the bad days and encourage the good days. He was so proud of his boyfriend for making it this far, and Tenna would gladly dedicate every day for the rest of his life making this crystal clear.
Spamton's head had flopped back against the bath, which reminded Tenna of something he forgot to wash. He pulled his hands out of the water and shook them dry. Before he could move any further, a wet hand lightly squeezed one side of his shirt collar.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm moving myself so I can wash your hair, okay?"
Spamton's expression shifted a fraction into a scowl as he briefly tightened his grip. One of Tenna's antennae drooped in confusion. Spamton already knew Tenna wasn't joining him in the bath, and a refusal for the plan would have been a push. So what did this mean?
As though reading Tenna's mind, Spamton's hand clenched again. This time, it was accompanied by a tug toward him.
Oh!
Tenna chuckled softly, stretching across the frame of the bath to kiss Spamton softly. "I think we need to create signals for key words once you feel better."
Spamton, who had mustered enough strength to push himself in for a second kiss, hummed softly in agreement.
The process of washing the hair, admittedly, took longer than it should have because Tenna was simply enjoying the process too much. Spamton's hair had always been a subject of fascination for him. It was long enough to be styled and stay perfectly in place with little effort, soft to the touch, and had a nice bounce to it. Tenna was known for idly brushing his fingers through Spamton's hair when they cuddled. Now, with no reason to hurry, he was letting the fingers explore, reaching deep to give Spamton a proper scalp massage in the process. The movements also allowed Tenna to see the smallest traces of white roots. It wasn't a secret that Spamton dyed his hair, but it was something that made him feel more comfortable - even though Tenna had tried to beg him to grow it out in their younger days when he had discovered a photo of a Spamton that really had hair as white as snow.
But now, it suited him. It brought some extra form to his face and helped him look mature - how his mailman hated always being told he had a baby-face!
Eventually, Tenna did force himself to stop and actually start the process of finishing up before the water turned cold. He leaned forward with the intention of asking Spamton about the water.
Instead, Spamton's head rolled to the side, eyes closed as he softly snored.
Tenna had to bite his bottom lip to stop the emotions surging out right then and there. As much as he loved having this new family life, he did miss the quiet moments where Spamton would feel so at ease that he would doze off. It was why Tenna used to love watching movies together - he could cuddle his sleepy boyfriend and all the world felt right. But now, the night was young and Angel was asleep. There would be plenty of time to dry Spamton out and cuddle until he fell asleep. Nowork or school tomorrow meant there could be a full lazy day after this. If Angel came in to check on them in the morning, Tenna would simply encourage the child to climb into the bed.
Returning his focus to the present before he lost himself in the daydream of the family napping in bed together, Tenna removed the bath plug to let the water start draining. Next, Spamton was quickly scooped up and bundled into a large, fluffy towel. Once the Spam-burrito cradled against the star's chest, Tenna felt Spamton nestle closer.
Washing the hair had brought with it the pleasant surprise of having his sleeping beauty, but it had also brought the dilemma of needing to dry the hair before they could actually go to sleep. At least Tenna could admire how cute Spamton was while he was somehow able to sit while still sleeping as Tenna changed him into a set of soft, muted green pyjamas with a button-up shirt that would be easy for Spamton to remove tomorrow.
Unfortunately, using the towel to dry the hair finally made Spamton stir. Damaged eyes didn't stop Spamton from looking positively adorable as he blinked slowly to try and register where on earth he was.
Tenna smiled softly and moved the towel just enough to kiss the Addison on the forehead. “Just a few more minutes. Then, we'll both go to bed. Okay?"
In response, Spamton's eyes drifted closed as he nodded.
When Spamton felt a sense of awareness return to him once more, he was lying underneath the duvet. Warm arms wrapped loosely around him from behind, and he tilted his head back to rest against Tenna's chest. Even if this had been an arrangement that the pair had quickly settled back into when they started dating again, tonight was the first time that Spamton really took in the importance of such a simple moment. It had been years since he had this comforting, grounding presence holding him close and helping him see that there was so much more to life than the pressure he put on himself to meet expectations from others.
Even if Tenna was the one known for working hard, he was the only one who really knew how to stop Spamton from completely ruining himself - and he really needed that now more than ever.
Sleep began to tempt Spamton one more time, and his last waking thought was knowing that, at last, he finally felt whole again. This was the life he wanted.