Work Text:
Harris was bored all he has been doing is record them playing hockey, watch them play, post random stuff like birthdays and of course posting game scores. at the start of the job was fun but it had been boring for a long time.
On night harris was doom scrowlling tiktok when he got an idea he saw this trend where people ask their co workers insane questions like " What would you do if someone tried to kill your child" but edit the video to seem like they said something like " what would you do if you saw a homeless person" and at the end of the video they reveal it to the coworkers and their reactions were funny.
so he decided thats what he was go na do to make his job a less boring thing
After calling most of the players agents to make sure harris was allowed to do that video, just incase there is an issue due to image no ones agent really cared exept this one lady who is both ilya's and shane's agent. She said
"You shouyld make the final question about orphans, i wanna see ilya's reaction" Farah said and they both laughed
…
The day had arrived, it was practice day and as soon as the boys were done with it but still in the ice it was time for his prank
He asked Luca first
“What would you do if a person broke into your house” Harris asked with his camera in hand
“I would call the cops obviously “ Luca answered
Next up was Wyatt who was a bit more brutal with his answer
“I would trow something at him"
he went on and asked most of the team even coach weebie by the time he was about to go ask Ilya and Shane, its that one trend Luca came back up and said
" i know what you are doing its that one trend here you switch the question after you ask! don't be mad i found it out " he said quietly with a smirk. Harris knew if somebody was going to catch up to the trend it would have to be luca so he was not mad at all as long as his plane of rage baiting ilya still worked so he simply said
"its fine luca i knew eventually you and the younger players where gonna catch it"
then harris went of now to ask shane
"what would you do if someone broke into your house and stole your things" he asked shane who answered
"that's a weird question but i would probably check whats wrong and then report it to the police"
and it was finally time for ilya, harris asked the same questions but had a very differnt reaction from the two
" i would hit him and if he's not there i would find him and hit him until he would regret it "
few days later harris edited and posted the video editing the question to " what would you do if an homeless orphan asked you for help" and posted it
...
Ilya POV-
ilya woke up early saturday before shane. they had a good post game night together. Sometimes Ilya still found it weird how he didn’t have to be scared anymore. And how they could have this, have each other, having Shane laying in their bed all marked up by Ilya made him think how it was all worth it.
If he could tell his younger self how his stupid situationship with Shane had became a marriage, how Shane Hollander loved him how he married Shane, how he played hockey with Shane. No more hiding no more rivalry.
Ilya went downstairs to make him and Shane breakfast
Shane had been on a specific diet for years which made Ilya’s cooking have to be adjusted but over the years he developed a pancake recipe that wasn’t garbage and Shane could eat On Shane’s pancake he put banana’s, strawberries, blueberries and another berry he didn’t know the name of he called it “boring berry” which made sense for the boring pancake
On his he put Nutella , some strawberries to make it a bit healthier he is still an athlete after all and some wiped cream to make Shane mad at his “unhealthy choices”
Few minutes later Shane came downstairs wearing one of his older jerseys and boxers
“Morning love” Shane said then sat next to Ilya
“Made you breakfast” Ilya said then proceded to kiss Shane’s neck passionately over the hickeys from the night before
“Did you brush your teeth?” Shane asked, Ilya nod then Shane let him continue kissing his neck
After a few more kisses the boys started having breakfast.
“I find it hot how you cook for me” Shane says in a casual tone.
“Do you really?” Ilya says because for him it’s just a simple act not any attempt of being hot
“Yeah it makes you more of a gentleman” Shane says back
It takes Ilya an second to get what he’s saying but when he does he answer “it’s simple not anything special”
“I find it hot regardless” Shane says ending the topic
…
Later that afternoon the boys lay on the couch Shane reading while laying on Ilya's chest as ilya doomscrolled
"Look Harris posted a new video" ilya said, shane droped his book and snooped closer to watch it.
"wait is this the one where he asked us what would you do if someone broke into our house?" shane asked
"yeah I think so"
"so why is the question in. the beginning different" shane asked
"what was it again" ilya asked back not having paid attention
"what would you do if an orphan asked for your help"
"thats not what he asked me" ilya said confussed
" oh i think that's whats supposed to be the fun" shane says
" i dont know let me check the comments "
as ilya went to check the comments many people were saying how brutal he was even if the original qurestion was not about the orphan an comment read:
"those poor orphans getting hate from ilya"
"this is stupid" ilya said to shane
"its a joke ilya "
"yeah but-"
" just ignore it"shane said
" no its stupid HOW AM I GONNA HATE THEM IF IM LITERALLY AN ORPHAN" ilya said dramatically with a strong accent
the room went silence shane didn't really know how to respond to it because it was a true fact and ilya never cared about his fathers death but his mother's always impacted him deeply
"you okay?" shane asked
"yeah i'm fine i don't know why i got so frustrated" ilya answred then kissed the top of shane's head like he was saying thank you for worrying
"see people don't find me as sweet as you do"
"well id ont care what they think" shane said with a smile such as saying i love you
"on a side note some people were calling me autisctic"
"oh yeah maybe its because your boring"
"shut up"
"make me" ilya said with a smirk