Work Text:
please.
please teach me.
teach me which volume of laughter lets me stay another hour next to you,
i'm not ready to go yet.
teach me how to lay awake at night for the simple reason of feeling,
i cannot map these sensations on my own.
teach me to look in a mirror and perceive the person looking back at me,
i feel like i should know them.
teach me the most effective method of holding a butterfly in my hands and marveling at its beauty,
i don't yet understand how important this moment is.
teach me to get excited for holidays with raw glee,
such genuine experience has eluded me for a long time.
teach me patience, and sorrow, and guilt, and worth, until i really grasp the importance of an emotion,
it scares me that i don't yet.
teach me which thoughts to think when i see blood coming from a self inflicted wound on my thigh,
because i think at least i should feel something.
teach me the divinity of a humans touch,
i have always longed for such a thing.
teach me to recognize my own name,
i don't know what it feels like to believe that the word you're saying is me.
and please.
please teach me how to be real.
for if i am not real,
i am nothing.
nobody can love nothing.