Chapter Text
Of the many people Wendy had met during her time spent in the Constant, she met and got to know many oddballs. Insane people, strange creatures, or people who had such exaggerated personalities that it was hard to believe they were actually real people. Indeed, most people who had found themselves in the Constant were strange in some way.
However, none of the other survivors had ever interested Wendy quite the way Webber had.
Webber was just a kid, like Wendy, but one who had fused with a spider prior to entering the Constant. That alone was strange and fascinating, but it wasn’t quite what interested Wendy so much. The interesting part was how they seemed to take it so well. They were a little bundle of sunshine most of the time, and their identity as a spider kid didn’t seem to bother them at all. In fact, it was such a small detail to them that Wendy would often forget about it even when looking directly at them.
It wasn’t even that they were happy DESPITE their state, either. If anything, they seemed to like integrating it into their life. She remembered when Webber had decided to change their pronouns. As they had put it, “It shouldn’t be he, it should be they because there’s two of us, duh!” It was such a sudden thing that Wendy almost thought it was a joke, but then she saw a genuinely hurt look when she referred to them as “he” again, so she began trying to make a conscious effort to say the right things.
That was the part that got Wendy so curious. Webber wasn’t just someone who saw the good in things, it was almost like they didn’t care about what came before.
It was admirable, in a way. Wendy would never be able to let go of the past in that way, no matter how much it hurt her. But at the same time, wasn’t it a bit unusual that they were able to do it so easily?
Wendy came to the conclusion that she should probably just ask Webber herself. And lucky her, she already had a tea party with them scheduled today. (Granted, this was no surprise. They had tea parties every other day. It was a ritual both of them took very seriously.)
Of course, if she just asked Webber, “How is it that you manage to make it seem like you’ve always been this way?” They would probably just get confused. Or at least, they would act like it. Sometimes, Wendy wondered if maybe Webber intentionally acted confused about certain topics to avoid talking about them, as they could be quite smart when they wanted to, but she had no real proof, and she didn’t feel like pushing it.
The tea party started off silent, Wendy needing to focus on pouring the tea, and Webber perfectly okay with being quiet. They were considerate like that. Even for the small things. It was one of the big factors, aside from her curiosity, that made Wendy so willing to spend all of her time around them.
Wendy quickly caught herself before she could overflow a cup. What was she doing, thinking things like that? It wasn’t even relevant. Now was absolutely not the time.
“It is ready,” she announced, despite that fact being quite obvious. Webber nodded enthusiastically, as usual.
The pair drank and made small talk, though inside Wendy was wondering how she should bring up what she wanted to ask without having Webber get uncomfortable about being all serious. They didn’t like it when things weren’t fun, so naturally, if she wanted to use an example, it would have to be silly, something that they would laugh at but still answer because it’s a valid question.
“Why don’t you ever wear clothes?”
The question caused Webber to choke on their tea and cough a lot. There was something that bore the resemblance of a smile, though, so at least the surprise was likely from how silly the question was rather than it making them uncomfortable.
“That’s a weird thing to ask out of nowhere,” Webber said after they stopped coughing.
“It’s a valid question,” Wendy said. “I am aware you don’t need to, but I would think you would still want to wear something. You were a full human once, after all.
“Okay,” Webber said, a small chuckle sneaking its way through their voice. “That makes sense. We’ve never really thought too hard about it.” As they paused, a frown crossed their face, and Wendy had to silently grieve the loss of their little smile and-
…Not the time.
“Well, we were just like this when the spider ate me. I don’t really know where my clothes went, but I just didn’t really realize they were gone? I was more focused on, you know… everything else being so different. And then, we couldn’t exactly change it once we were fending for ourselves out here…” Wendy nodded. That made sense, sort of. It didn’t really answer the underlying question that Wendy had, but… maybe there was something else?
No, there was something weird about that. Because… “We have ways to alter our appearances now. Why don’t you make a wardrobe to give yourself an outfit that looks like your old self? I don’t really know what he looked like…” Hopefully she wasn’t being insensitive to the spider when she said that. She didn’t want them to be mad at her.
Luckily, if the spider was offended, it didn’t communicate those thoughts to the boy, for Webber didn’t even seem to care about that part. Instead, they gave a more confused reply.
“We do use the wardrobes, though!”
It wasn’t wrong, they did use them, occasionally. Wendy was usually there too, but neither of them really did anything with actual outfits. It was mostly just dressing up to be silly. Like when she dressed up as a monster, or made Webber wear a large dress, or both of them just decided to be as messy as possible. “We never keep those outfits on for longer than a few hours, and it’s not like we really try to make them look good,” she pointed out.
At that, Webber paused. And they looked like they might have been hurt, or at the very least, uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean to be accusatory or anything,” Wendy clarified. “I was just curious. The thought came to me not long ago, and I found it interesting that you would do something like that. I assume it’s because it feels natural for the spider, yes?”
“Um…” Webber let out a nervous giggle. “Yeah, we guess so! He just… likes it this way, or something.”
Wendy could tell there was a bit more, but they didn’t look like they wanted to talk about it, so she just nodded sagely and replied, “It’s admirable that you keep him in mind for so much. You are a very kind person, you know.”
Webber paused for a few seconds, before breaking out into a wide smile. Good. She made them happy, even with the possibly invasive questioning. That was all that really mattered. And she still felt like she understood them a little better, now, even if she didn’t exactly get a direct answer to her real question.
But then, out of nowhere, Webber kept talking. “It’s kinda easy, though! I never really did much that felt that way before, so it feels better when we do things that feel natural to him! He’s not really as, um… complicated as people are? Or something? So it’s a lot easier to have things feel right with him than it was on my own.”
Wendy blinked. “What do you mean?”
Webber paused, a scared look flashing over their face, before it was covered by their teacup. They drank, and then kept it on their face for a while longer. It was clearly an attempt to hide their face, but Wendy let herself look oblivious to this to spare them some embarrassment (though she didn’t quite get why he suddenly seemed embarrassed.)
After Webber lowered their teacup, they asked, “Isn’t that normal? For everything to always feel, I don’t know… maybe bad isn’t the right way to put it, but not really right either? Like… like it’s forced, or something?”
“No,” Wendy answered plainly. “I’ve never felt that way. Most of what I do with myself feels natural to me. Except for the way I am when I’m insane, but nobody’s normal like that.”
Webber didn’t say anything, but Wendy could see their face fall. They were trying not to look hurt, but she could see past it. They probably thought there was something wrong with them, didn’t they? Wendy didn’t mean to do that to them. She had to fix her mistake.
“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I didn’t mean to imply there’s anything wrong with you because of that. It could very well be that I’m the weird one for this.”
Webber’s face hardly changed. Ok, so that wouldn’t work. Wendy took a deep breath, and decided to say something different.
“Perhaps… perhaps you just never found what was right to you. Maybe that’s why it comes so easy to be different now.”
“Because… because everything has always been wrong?”
“Well, I wouldn’t put it that pessimistically,” Wendy replied, ignoring the irony in the fact that she of all people was saying that to Webber. “But, if you really have never felt right about things like this… I could help you, if you want.”
Webber froze, as though they had just heard something so insane that it couldn’t have been real.
“W-we don’t… we don’t need that, it’s fine!”
Wendy paused for a moment. Why did that feel so insincere? Webber wasn’t prideful, they would admit it if they needed help with something. She would’ve just assumed it was because of the topic being unimportant, but then… if that was the case, then surely it wouldn’t be a big enough deal for Webber to look as nervous about it as they were. Well, obviously, this small detail would extend to a variety of other things, a variety of other problems…
No, she didn’t need to fix all of their problems. Even if she wanted to. It wasn’t like it made much sense. All Wendy had wanted from this was to know why Webber was so unbothered about doing things that appealed to the spider side more than the human side, despite the latter seeming more active. And she had gotten her answer, somewhat. It wasn’t something to be fixed, and even if that were the case, it would have to be something they figured out on their own, as she didn’t know the inner workings of a mind like that. How could she help at all with that?
…
“If I may ask, how does that all work, anyway? If something works for one side but the other doesn’t like it, how is it resolved?”
“Oh!” Webber seemed much more excited to talk about that. “It’s a bit complicated, and we don’t really get it fully, but we don’t really ever have disagreements!”
“Really, now?”
“Yeah!” Webber was talking in a much more animated way, and was making vague gestures to go along with their words. “Basically, if one of us feels some way about something, the other will also feel the same way! I can still kinda tell when it comes from him and not from me, but I usually like things he likes. So, since he’s comfortable acting like a spider in some ways, I’m also fine with it, because I don’t really… care? I guess? Well, that doesn’t sound right…”
“You don’t have strong feelings for the way you did it as a human?” Wendy offered.
Webber nodded. “Yeah, that! And, he wouldn’t really have strong feelings about you or any of the others, so he ends up feeling mostly the same things I do! With, um… some exceptions, maybe…”
At that, Wendy raised an eyebrow. “What exceptions?” She already had an idea, but if she was right, it’d be better if she heard it from their mouth.
“Um…” Webber looked away. “We… can’t think of one off the top of our head.”
That one was another obvious lie, but unlike the other lies they had said, Wendy was perfectly happy to not push it. Now likely wasn’t a good time to talk about all of that, anyway. Besides, Wendy had a more interesting question.
“So, what happens if you have opposing opinions?”
“Oh, that one’s easy!” Webber said. “Whoever wants their side more wins!”
“…It’s that simple?”
“Well, probably not, but that’s usually how it goes!”
So… “If, say, the spider decided it really, really liked your beard, you would start liking it?”
Webber made a disgusted face. “I would NEVER give in for that.”
“Ok, then if something happened to make you arachnophobic…”
“No way that would happen!” Webber said, sounding shocked. “And besides, spiders are, like, the one thing he really really cares about, the rest is just…” they paused. “The only reason we do what he likes for a lot of stuff is because I don’t have anything I like with those things. And pigs too, we hate pigs!”
Wendy nodded. That seemed like it made sense. It implied some things about Webber that made Wendy worry about them, but it made sense.
…But it was so strange, still. The clothes were one thing; it wasn’t that strange that Webber was never emotionally invested in the things their family wanted them to wear. Webber did sort of imply that there were similar things that she hadn’t taken note of, but those were most likely all little things. And while little things could add up, she didn’t really know how they would add up, nor did she particularly need to know. No, there was a much more confusing issue at hand.
If the spider really had such muted opinions to most things, then how come it had the primary say on so much?
Why did Wendy hardly know anything about the boy who had come before? She never heard Webber talk about the boy before everything. They would talk about his parents, but not himself. The most they ever divulged was the story of how they fused together. She was pretty sure Webber was only the name they took up after being turned into a spider, and she had doubts that accuracy was the only reason they dropped the “he.”
…Did they see things like that as little and unimportant, too?
She felt like she was digging into a big secret that would make things difficult and strange, but how could she stop? After all… she cared deeply for Webber, and if they were hiding something that could hurt them…
“How… do you feel, about your old self?” She asked, a little less tactfully than she would’ve liked, but it was an important question. “I just had the thought that you’ve never really talked about him that much.”
…What was that look?
To their credit, Webber quickly recovered, but Wendy didn’t miss the look of fear that crossed their face. It made her heart sink, to think she caused any sort of bad feelings from them. But, Webber began talking before she could spout out some words about how he didn’t need to.
“We don’t really think about that much,” they said, a light tone in their voice that was very clearly forced. “We probably won’t be going back anyway, so why think about the past?”
“But if you could,” Wendy asked, ignoring all the thoughts that told her that she should just stop this needling, “Would you go back?”
“Well, of course not!” Webber quickly said, “We would never leave him behind!”
Wendy blinked. That hardly sounded like the full reasoning, but… well, she got her answer, didn’t she?
She got a lot more answers than she originally hoped for.
And yet, somehow, she had even more questions.
If this was a rabbithole, it was probably wise to stop digging into it. At least for now. It would be quite rude to Webber, after all.
…She was lucky Webber was so cute. If they weren’t, trying to figure them out would have been much more testing to her.