Chapter Text
I’m alone this December, it’s the last light of the day.
Wemmbu sat alone in his room, curled up on the bed. His roommate Spoke was out for the night, presumably with Mapicc or something at the annual school party. Spoke had invited him to join them at the party, but Wemmbu had turned it down knowing Flame would be there.
Oh, I can’t help but wonder, if you feel the same.
Flame and Wemmbu had been dating for two years when Flame broke up with him last week, Wemmbu still hadn't gotten over the grief. They had been together since they started college, and now, Wemmbu was beginning to doubt if Flame had ever loved him.
Oh, I guess I’ll surrender, to the tears and the pain; and the cold we are under, will remain.
Tears poured down his face as he choked back a sob. No one could see him like this. He was the strongest person in school, well, apart from Fl — why does everything have to be related to him?
Without Flame by his side, it was as if someone had cut out a chunk of him and thrown it to the devil. Like a hollow, empty ache in his stomach that never went away, even if he ate or starved himself. Just a sick feeling in his stomach, knowing Flame was gone.
You were the heartlight, my fire, that died.
Wemmbu was an Enderian. Growing up in the coldness of the End Void alongside Spoke, who had been his brother in everything but blood, he had gotten acclimatised to the intense, freezing temperatures of the darker parts of the void. But when he met Flame two years ago at Unstable Academy, everything changed. Flame was a Netherian, a creature born in fire itself. He grew up in a completely different world from Wemmbu’s freezing one, yet he never hesitated to make conversation, and never, ever, lowered himself to other people’s levels. That was one of the few things Wemmbu had once liked about Flame.
When they first started dating, the relationship was still slightly awkward, both of them unsure of the other’s customs. But gradually they got to know each other better, and their powers balanced each other out. Wemmbu could calm Flame down from whatever heated argument he got himself into (literally), and Flame would keep everything warm and welcoming. He lit a candle in Wemmbu’s heart that Wemmbu had never known before.
It was the first time Wemmbu had ever dared let himself be so relaxed, so vulnerable around someone who wasn’t family. But Flame had earned his trust.
They stayed that way for two full years, helping each other and sticking together through every challenge that college threw at them.
Waiting for morning sunrise.
Then Flame dropped the bombshell last Thursday, after classes when Wemmbu had spent half an hour waiting for Flame to come out of class so they could walk back to the dorms later. Wemmbu had reached for his hand, but he shoved it into his pocket. His voice was cold and flat, expressionless as he said the two words that brought Wemmbu’s perfect world crashing down.
”We’re done.”
There is nothing under the tree that I wished for; I want you to come back to me
What have I done wrong? Wemmbu thought. Where did I make a mistake? Why don’t you want me? Did whatever we have not matter? Flame was his entire world, has been since he was 17, and will still be even after the break-up. Indeed, the only thing Wemmbu wanted in the entire world, was to have Flame’s love again. The love that had him looking at Wemmbu like he was the most prized object in the world. The love that had them huddled under the blankets watching movies until morning. The love that brought them through challenge after challenge yet never wavering.
And be like before,
Was there ever a before? Yes… before… the two best years of Wemmbu’s life. Every outing, every “study hang out” they’d ever convinced their parents to let them attend. Every meal, every shared memory they had. Wemmbu just wanted that again. Was it his fault he still loved Flame? Was it his fault Flame had left? What was wrong with wanting to stay in paradise forever?
If he had another chance, he would take it. Go back into the past, fix whatever mistake he made. Stay in the two years in which they had grown both as people and as a single person, knowing each other like the back of their hand.
Loving each other without fail, every single day.
Have I lost you?
Did Flame really move on? Did he forget every kiss, every night cramming in the dorms together?
And nothing will ever fill the hole
When Flame left, his absence left a jarring, Flame-shaped hole in Wemmbu.
He refused to patch it.
He never will.
My heart will be here under the tree, just letting you know…
After Flame broke up, Wemmbu stayed in his dorm for a whole day, just staring at his phone and refreshing it, waiting, waiting for a sign that it was a prank, that it was just a nightmare, that he would wake up in Flame’s warm arms again.
Nothing.
I’m alone this December, and the long nights they begin
Every night seemed longer, seemed to stretch, seemed endless without Flame. During their relationships, they’d always complained the nights spent together were too short. Too fleeting. Like water droplets trickling out of a cupped hand.
Was this the world’s revenge on him? Was this the price of having a longer night?
If so, Wemmbu didn’t want it anymore. He would rather have Flame for whatever short moments they could scavenge than have a night that never ended without anyone, without Flame, without love.
Still my mind’s overthinking, now who’s arms you’re in
Wemmbu knew Flame had already moved on. He just didn’t want to accept it. Flame was his, and in his eyes, would forever be.
The more sensible part of Wemmbu knew Flame liked Lomedy.
Had liked him since he transferred.
Then why?
Why had he made Wemmbu endure months of trying to earn Flame’s love back when he was too far gone?
Had he ever cheated on Wemmbu before?
And were mine just an afterthought of needing to be kind
Wemmbu knew who Flame was with now.
Lomedy.
He recognised the way Flame looked at Lomedy, because he’d once been on its receiving end. He’d once been the subject of Flame’s attention. Then recently, Lomedy transferred to their school. He was a regular student, with unexceptional grades, but Wemmbu noticed immediately. Flame’s eyes had drifted away and were following the new student around the classroom.
He told himself Flame was just curious. After all, it wasn’t every day a new student joined. But as the days passed, he saw Flame less and less. After school? Flame had extra classes. In the afternoon? Flame had been assigned to show Lomedy around the school. At night? Flame had a test and needed to study.
Flame started pulling away, starting wincing from the slightest bit of contact. Wemmbu never stopped trying, though. He still believed that Flame loved him, loved him the way he did.
Guess when we’re out of sight, we’re out of mind
Wemmbu stared at his phone with blank, dull eyes.
43 unread messages to Flame.
20 missed calls.
Flame was probably at that party, enjoying the time of his life, doing god knows what with Lomedy and the other people there.
Wemmbu wondered if Flame had even thought about him since the break up.
You were the first touch, first look in my eyes
Flame was Wemmbu’s first love, the only person he’d ever dared to share everything with. Not even Spoke, his brother. He was the only person who would ever know the other side of Wemmbu, the side that regularly had nightmares because of his abusive childhood before he’d met Spoke and Minute.
Wemmbu turned around in bed. Spoke had already come back, so the party was probably over.
He wanted to ask Spoke if Flame and Lomedy had… but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. What if the answer was yes? How could he deal with knowing the only person he loved had broken up with him and moved on immediately?
Now we’re just strangers who walk by
The next morning, Wemmbu walked past Flame’s locker.
It was covered in things. Love notes, snacks, little flirtatious jokes from girls who thought they had a chance.
Just like me, Wemmbu thought bitterly.
And what made Wemmbu’s blood boil was the final type of things pinned to Flame’s locker.
Condolences.
FLAME WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH HIM, FOR GODDAMN’S SAKE.
Wemmbu’s locker, of course, was empty. He’d walk past Flame’s locker hundreds of times, imagining Flame being there, telling him everything was okay.
The final straw happened between classes.
Flame and Wemmbu bumped into each other while walking down the hallway. A dim hope alighted in Wemmbu’s chest. But Flame smiled vaguely like he was greeting a stranger, apologised briefly and left.
Wemmbu’s heart shattered all over again.
There is nothing under the tree that I wish for; I want you to come back to me
Was it really wrong for Wemmbu to want Lomedy to experience the same heartbreak he had?
Was it really wrong for Wemmbu to hope for Flame to come back?
And be like before, have I lost you?
Too far gone.
Too in love.
The signs were blaringly obvious now that he thought about it.
The way Flame distanced himself.
Maybe he had truly moved on.
Maybe it wasn’t Wemmbu’s fault.
But Wemmbu still loved Flame.
And that’s what made it hurt the most.
”Have I lost you?” Wemmbu muttered into the dark. There was no response. Of course there wasn’t.
Just his voice echoing there, soft, afraid, and genuinely alone.
Nothing will ever fill the hole
Nothing, no one, could ever replace the place in Wemmbu’s heart that Flame had once claimed. Even now, with that hole in his heart, in his soul, Wemmbu refused to let anyone love him the way Flame had once loved him. No one, was allowed to remove what Flame had left behind. Even if it hurt, some parts still mattered. The happier moments. The ones before everything went wrong.
My heart will be here under the tree, just letting you know.
Eventually, Wemmbu healed. He returned to his normal routines, but he never recovered. Not fully.
He swore that he would never love anyone again.
Not after the betrayal.
Not after Flame.
Never.