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It was late. Lapis could see the moon through the hole, yet to be repaired, in the barn wall. She had almost forgotten that she was living in this place with her new roommate and past captor, Peridot. Lapis had started getting used to it. She couldn’t help but be wary despite this.
Lapis had just woken up in her hammock, her blue fingers curling into the fabric tightly as her chest heaved with each shaky breath she took. Gems didn’t exactly need to breathe, but taking deep breaths was reliable enough that Lapis did it just to try calm herself down. She could still remember her dream almost vividly. Though it really was just a memory that had been looping in her head for days. She couldn’t escape it. Every time she started feeling better, these awful memories of being trapped in Malachite would come back. That crushing guilt and her own self hatred would twist inside her abdomen. Tonight was no different. Lapis brought her hands up, holding onto her hair tightly. This was a habit she had picked up at some point. She knew it didn’t do much for her, but the pain made her thoughts dissipate. Even if it was only momentary. She looked down as she began struggling to think straight.
Lapis didn’t notice as footsteps approached. Hesitant and light. She almost didn’t notice when a pair of green hands wrapped around her wrists and pulled her hands from her hair. She kept staring down for a while before a familiar voice grated on her ears.
“Lapis! Hey- stop that!”
Peridot’s voice came out harsh for a moment before she realised that wasn’t helping and softened her voice a bit more. She had been rewatching camp pining hearts when she heard heavy breathing and got up to see what was wrong. Her hands loosened around Lapis’s wrists, but she still held them gently in order to make sure that the other gem didn’t try to harm herself again.
“It’s okay. Just keep breathing.”
Peridot found herself muttering, her thumb absently rubbing over Lapis’s wrist as she tried to figure out how to help.
Lapis eventually came back to her senses, her gaze flicking up to Peridot’s face before quickly averting. She wanted to yank away and pretend this never happened, to act like everything was fine and tell Peridot to mind her business. But she knew that she was… stubborn. There wasn’t any point in even trying to avoid her. Lapis just kept looking away. Peridot was quiet briefly before her hands nervously slid up from her wrists to hold Lapis’s hands. She really wasn’t all that great at this comforting stuff. But with Lapis, Peridot wanted to try for some reason.
“Lapis… Are you alright? I don’t mean to pry, but you were asleep and fine a few minutes ago, and now you’re like this and-“
Peridot trailed off as she realised she was rambling and wasn’t getting any response from her. She let out a slow sigh and dropped Lapis’s hands suddenly.
“I’m just worried, okay? I know you’re still adjusting, and I know you don’t even really trust me still. I’ll leave you alone if you want.”
Peridot moved to step back, but was suddenly stopped by Lapis’s hands finding hers again.
“No! Don’t go.”
Lapis was startled by her own reaction and it was obvious. Her eyes widened and she quickly diverted her gaze again to her own lap. She didn’t know why she suddenly wanted Peridot to stay. After all, she’d spent days pushing her away and telling her to stop bothering her. Maybe Lapis’s loneliness had finally eaten away at her enough that she’d even accept attention from someone like Peridot.
On the other hand, Peridot was definitely as surprised as Lapis. She stood still for a moment as the blue gem held her hand before nodding a bit.
“Oh! Uhm, alright then. I can stick around if that’s what you want.”
Lapis nodded slightly. She squeezed Peridot’s hand before letting her go and sitting back in her hammock again. She shifted in order to make a bit of room. It embarrassed her, acting like this. But she couldn’t bring herself to dwell on it for too long.
“Come in? If you don’t mind.”
Lapis offered, and patted the space beside her now. Her voice was lowered. It lacked her usual sarcasm and distant tone. Peridot shifted where she was stood briefly before she moved closer, clumsily climbing into the hammock beside Lapis and moved about until she found a comfortable position. Of course, they couldn’t stay sat up like this. So the two of them ended up lying down on their backs right next to each other.
Peridot laid there silently. She didn’t know what to say or do. Since when did Lapis even want to be close to her?! She didn’t know why she was getting so worked up at the thought of it. After all, the two of them were barely even friends. But here she was, lying in the hammock with Lapis to make her feel better. She heard Lapis letting out a small breath, and could feel the taller gem’s shoulders finally starting to relax a bit more. The quiet between them stretched for a long time. Somewhat awkward and filled with unspoken tension. But Lapis eventually ended up turning to her side to face Peridot instead of lying on her back. She reached out but stopped herself before even daring to touch her. Peridot tilted her head slightly. She didn’t try to conceal her confusion as Lapis started to speak.
“Uhm, do you mind if I…?”
She didn’t finish her sentence. She was too embarrassed to ask if she could hold onto Peridot. There probably wasn’t much point anyways, Lapis didn’t think Peridot would want to be anywhere near her.
Peridot didn’t understand. She stared at Lapis’s slightly raised hands before speaking up again.
“Huh? What is it?”
She asked somewhat bluntly, not realising that she was just too shy to ask for what she wanted. Lapis looked away again before letting out a small huff.
“You’re such a clod.”
“Hey, that’s my line!-“
Peridot found herself being cut off when Lapis suddenly wrapped her arms around the shorter gem. Peridot swore she could’ve blue screened for a moment before a darker shade of green spread across her cheeks.
They were both silent for a while, neither of them knowing what to say. Peridot eventually started to settle, but she couldn’t help but continue to blush. Lapis’s arms tightened around her subtly, her breaths coming in slow, soft huffs against the smaller gem’s shoulder. They stayed bundled together in the hammock for a long time. Content in each other’s presence, yet that didn’t mean one of them wasn’t still flustered and confused. But it was comfortable.
Peridot hesitated for a little long, not wanting to break the moment but also having to get this off her mind. She was still determined to make Lapis feel better about whatever happened, even if she was a little lost on the direction things were heading now.
“Lapis? Do you… wanna talk about what happened? It’s okay if not, but you really did seem upset. Did you have a… dream, or something? Steven was telling me about those the other day.”
She didn’t get the whole sleeping thing that humans did, and that Lapis did. She thought it was strange since they didn’t even need sleep. But Lapis had explained once that it felt nice to rest, so she decided just to leave it at that.
Lapis was still quiet for a little longer. It was as if she didn’t know whether confiding in Peridot was a good idea or not. But eventually, she managed to mutter an answer out.
“I guess… it was-“
Her voice became muffled as she slowly buried her face into Peridot’s shoulder properly. Her mumbles trailed off until a small annoyed sigh caught her attention.
“I can’t hear you when you mumble like that, you know.”
Lapis let out a small, breathy chuckle at the frustrated tone of Peridot’s voice. It was always kind of funny to hear her get riled up like that. Despite this, Lapis couldn’t find it in herself to want to talk about the subject anymore. She just held her close, her own breathing slowly starting to steady out.
Peridot waited. But when she realised Lapis wasn’t going to answer tonight, she resigned to just slowly and let her arm drape over her. It was nice. Lapis’s skin was smooth and cool against Peridot’s. The eventual feeling of Lapis’s body becoming slack against her’s made her chest feel tight in a way she couldn’t explain. After lying together for a few more minutes, Peridot also managed to drift off. The two of them were still tangled together, Lapis’s face buried in Peridot’s shoulder and curled up against her.
Instead of trying to wrestle with her own thoughts, Peridot had just shut her eyes and decided that maybe trying out sleeping wasn’t such a bad idea after all.