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Maomao wasn't a very dependent person. In fact, she took pride in her ability to live and work independently over everyone else. Sure she worked heavily with her coworkers, lived with them in a way too. But she didn't need to, she could handle life on her own just fine.
She had been raised in the pleasure district, to rely on anyone was a death sentence, even one's own family. The Verdigris House could have sold her, they owned the rights to her, and they could have used her body as they wished.
They almost did.
Until he came along.
Maomao didn't need anyone to come and save her, not then and definitely not now. But there was something about the way he reached for her, about the way his face creased when he noticed her discomfort, the way he would hug her tight despite the fact she knew her flat and skinny body could not in any way, shape or form be comfortable.
He didn't care about her past or her future, he didn't care much to think of anything at all. He only wanted her, wanted her affection and her love and to be able to give that affection and love back to her tenfold.
He wanted to be hers and for the longest time she had been afraid that it would only bring more pain to his already lonely life.
That was until she realised her life had been lonely too.
Until she met him.
It was always him, always his hands that lit fire to her skin, always the way he would do anything when she was taken, always the way he would worry over her eating habits or if she was working herself too hard when he was doing much the same.
She had never been cared for in such a way. Not by her father, or her sisters, or the madam.
It had felt nice, once she finally realised, the warmth she felt whenever he placed his outer robe over her with the same gentleness he only ever gave her, one she had learned to crave despite herself.
The same gentleness he used whenever she allowed him to play with her hair, even though she was sure he knew nothing of the sort. It was the same gentleness he gave her whenever she was sick, knowing she would much rather stay in his home, in his bed, than the clinic in which she worked.
He cared for her too much, and for the longest time she had seen it as a burden. A prince could never care for an apothecary, could never care for her the same way he had to care for his family, for his future consorts. It wasn't proper.
Now she found she didn't quite mind as she walked through the few courtyards that weren't filled with ministers and court ladies alike, ones that weren't frequented by soldiers or nobles. Quiet ones, just the way she liked, away from prying eyes and whispering voices.
Just her… and another she really needed to see right now.
She wasn't sure if he would be here. He was usually so busy with his own duties, running through pathways with work that wasn't his, as if he was a servant of these men rather than their superior, their prince.
A man who was far too kind for his own good.
He had shown her this place before, a little while ago, spoke softly against her hair about its purpose, about how he used it to escape the duties given to a prince, if only for a little while.
She saw his hair flowing in the wind as she approached, saw the way his eyes drifted to the flowers she had planted here not long ago, the flowers only for him. She saw the way his smile softened as he gazed downward, only to brighten when she took the seat next to him.
She allowed her body weight to rest against his without much more effort, and felt her body relax so much more as his hands wrapped around her to stroke her arm, his touch far more soothing than it should have been.
He pressed a kiss to her hair, lingering and soft and she wanted to remember his touch forever. Then he lifted, just enough to whisper against the messy strands. "I missed you." He continued to hold her close against him.
She nuzzled herself closer, only nodding against him. She had never quite been good at saying such things back, but he never did push. He was always happy with whatever she could give, allowing her to go at her own pace.
It was one of the things she hated most about him. The way he could give and give and give and still settle for less.
"You're here." Her words were muffled from the way she pressed her face closer to his chest. "I wasn't sure."
His hand wound into her hair softly, massaging the tension until she sighed long and hard. He continued as she spoke, running his fingers through the strands just as he did when she found her way into his bed. It comforted her more than she cared to admit, her eyes closing softly, allowing herself to simply feel.
"I've been looking for an escape." His voice lowered. "The ministers… have been difficult as of late. I'm sorry I couldn't find time to see you."
She would never be so bold as to blame him for such things, it wasn't his responsibility to visit her, it wasn't something they could simply do, not without the supervision of a guard and without planning in advance.
It was fine, she told herself, not to see each other in a week. They have gone far longer before. This was nothing.
The words repeated themselves within her head, over and over again until she forced them away with a groan.
Her tired eyes opened slowly as she raised herself just enough, her hand planting itself upon his cheek, stroking the skin with her thumb, lingering over the scar that had long since faded with a gentleness she was unsure she possessed.
The week had been difficult. Patients moving in and out of the clinic, new medical assistants, three surgeries, and she was tired.
She was sure she couldn't be blamed for needing a charge.
Her face rose to his, her lips hovering over his before she pressed against him, stealing his breath as she pushed deeper. The kiss was soft, softer than she deserved, and she felt his hands cradle her face, felt his lips push back just enough that she sighed into him.
She wanted to stay like this, as much as she would never admit it.
His touch lit a fire inside her, a desire she had never once known, yet could never again forget. Her feelings no longer felt simply luke-warm, they burned hotter than that.
It was only a moment, something that passed as quick as it came when she hesitantly withdrew before pressing her head into his chest once more.
"Master Jinshi?" She asked, and her voice was carried away by the wind as she spoke. The sound of light chatter to far away to be any more of an issue than the soft songs of the birds.
She wasn't sure whether she wanted him to hear her, or perhaps ignore his name on her lips. But instead he pressed another kiss to her hair, with a soft murmur of acknowledgement.
"Thank you." The words were barely there and yet she knew he heard them, his body stiffening before melting against her, pulling her with him.
"For what?" He asked, and she was well aware of his inability to understand that what he did for others was not simply something to be predicted, that his actions and words should be cherished, not expected.
She snuggled closer, savouring a moment that would soon pass with the wind. "For the charge."
The trees continued to sway around them, the flowers continued to bloom. Birds flew overhead and the insects chirped. The day continued even as Maomao rested against Jinshi, watching the way the sun slowly disappeared.
Maomao was not a dependent person, and yet she felt as though it couldn't be helped when she grew attached to a man like Jinshi. A man who would do anything for her, who would love her wholeheartedly and still expect nothing in return.
Though, as she felt his hand return to her hair, stroking it once more, she understood, rather begrudgingly, that perhaps she was in fact a dependent person.
"I missed you too."
She spoke the words through soft breaths, watching the garden lay to rest as she too found herself growing more and more tired, her head resting completely against him, intent to simply feel.
Feel his slow breaths against her hair, his soft hands as they stroked her skin, his heartbeat beneath her ear. She felt him all, every part with a passion she would never claim.
She missed him… more than she would ever truly admit.