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As they walked up and down the rows of shops, Zoro found himself ducking under streamers of various colors and animal-shaped kites. Zoro was contemplating what to spend his time doing when a familiar figure came bounding over.
Roronoa Zoro was not known for being in touch with his feelings, and he found no reason to try to be. Besides, what did it matter if he was sad, or mad, or happy? None of those feelings would help him be a better swordsman.
Once, after a particularly brutal training session with Mihawk, the man had looked down on Zoro, who was kneeling in the dirt and frustrated at the loss, with an unreadable emotion. Zoro wasn’t egotistical enough to not notice how he’d been unfocused during the spar, mind branching out with thoughts of Luffy against his will, but having a look almost like pity plastered on Mihawk’s face really got under his skin.
“Roronoa.” He’d said, “Whatever battles you are fighting in your mind, fix them. They are only holding you back.”
And of course, Zoro had taken that lesson to heart. So far, it had proven to be incredibly helpful. He’d knocked Pica down on his ass in Dressrosa, squared down with Rob Lucci on Egghead with relative ease, and won a hard-fought battle against King in Wano. So clearly, the whole shoving your emotions down and focusing only on strength thing Mihawk (probably) meant was the right call.
Unfortunately for Zoro, Luffy had not been given that same lesson. Maybe that was why he kept on messing with Zoro’s head without actually meaning too.
The first time Luffy did.. it, was after they’d landed on a new island. They’d clearly dropped in on the middle of some local event, but the island was pirate friendly and they needed to restock so everyone just agreed to tread carefully and not ruin it for the townspeople.
“Zoro, Luffy, stick together!” Nami barked. She thought for a moment, then dutifully added, “And Sanji. Go with them.”
Naturally, Zoro loudly protested to this. He and Luffy would be fine, they didn’t need the stupid love cook to follow them around like a glorified babysitter. Sanji raised his voice in argument too, but one sharp glare from Nami and he was sunshine and rainbows.
Zoro scowled. Whatever. The only other person Sanji listened to half as much as the girls was his captain, so Luffy could stop him from saying anything particularly annoying.
“Whatever.” Zoro groaned. “Let's just get this over with.”
Before Zoro could open his mouth to respond with oh, we’re actually just a couple of friends or Luffy, I’ll distract him while you grab the food or generally anything actually intelligent that could get them the free food, Luffy responded first.
“We are!” Then he slid his fingers down Zoro’s wrist and into his palm, interlocking their fingers and holding up their now-joined hands for the shopkeeper to see.
Zoro blinked once. Twice. Stared at their conjoined hands blankly while Luffy piled up food into his free arm, chatting easily about their relationship-that-wasn’t like it wasn’t a lie at all.
“We met two years ago! Yeah, it was super romantic. Oh no, we didn’t get together then, it still took awhile. We beat up bad guys together! Are we criminals? I mean, technically, but-”
It took Zoro way too long to reboot his brain. It wasn’t until the shopkeeper turned his attention to him that he kicked back into gear. “Young love is so precious.” The shopkeeper swooned. “What about you, young man? Are you happy?”
“Uh-” Zoro stuttered. A rejection was on the tip of his tongue, a defense that he wasn’t actually dating Luffy and that this was all just a big misunderstanding. But then his eyes landed on Luffy for just a split second, gleeful and halfway into shoving a piece of bread in his mouth, and Zoro paused.
..It was just a small, simple white lie. It wouldn’t harm anyone if Zoro played into it just a little. Besides, it would make Luffy happy, and what kind of first mate would Zoro be if he denied his captain this?
“-yes. I am. Extremely.. happy.” Was that convincing? Zoro thought he sounded convincing. Behind him, Sanji let out a snort that he poorly masked as a cough. Zoro flipped him off behind his back.
“Zoro is just shy!” Luffy came to the rescue, latching onto the greenhead’s elbow and blinking up at him with large eyes. Zoro nodded along absent-mindedly. The contact with his captain felt burning in a way it never had before. It wasn’t a bad burning necessarily, just.. more noticeable. “See? Look!”
And then, smoothly and without any kind of warning or explanation, Luffy used the grip he had on Zoro’s arm to pull him down and planted a chaste kiss right in the middle of his cheek.
Zoro sputtered, incoherent syllables falling from his mouth as he tried to process. Embarrassingly, he could feel the shade of red his face took on. Luffy leaned away, giggling behind his hand as he returned his attention to the food table.
Humming, the shopkeeper’s smile got softer, and if Zoro didn’t know any better, he’d say it was almost knowing. “Ah, of course. You two seem perfect for each other. I wish you luck for the future, then.” With a final tip of his hat, the shopkeeper finally, finally ceased his interrogation and walked away, and Zoro let out the large breath he’d been holding in. Luffy, at least, seemed completely unbothered, like all of this was the most casual thing in the world. Maybe it was, for him. Meanwhile, Zoro’s heart was racing and his cheeks were flaming like he’d just run a marathon and he had absolutely no idea why.
“What the fuck was that?” Sanji hissed, head whipping between Zoro and Luffy, the latter of which was still chowing down on his free food, with pinched eyebrows.
Zoro shrugged, trying desperately to play off the ever-present tingling on his still-colored cheeks. “Luffy just wanted food.” He brushed off, reaching across the table to grab a bottle of booze. It was free, after all. “It’s just a one time thing.” He reassured. Whether it was to himself or to Sanji, Zoro wasn’t actually sure. Sanj shot him a dubious look, but ultimately dropped the issue.
Just a one time thing, he thought one more time, a little more confident in his assertion this time. Just Luffy being Luffy.
-–*--*--*--
It was not, in fact, a one time thing, and Zoro could feel his confidence shattering in real time.
Him and Nami were meandering on some random island they were taking a short rest stop on. There was nothing to restock and the island seemed friendly enough, so the crew was given free reign to stretch their land legs for a few hours. Even though he’d had every intention of saying on the ship and taking a nap out on the deck, Nami had asked Zoro to accompany her on a walk around town and, well. He’d had no real reason to say no.
..Sanji electing to stay on deck in order to prepare a nice lunch had absolutely nothing to do with it.
Nami stretched her hands high above her head, her joints popping with the pressure. “Man, the weather here is so nice. If we were staying any longer, I’d definitely get a nice tan.” She commented, inspecting the skin on the back of her hand. Zoro made a noise of vague affirmation, kicking at a pebble on the ground as they walked. Nami side-eyed him, scrunching up her nose. “What's got you grumpier than usual? Is it about what happened a few days ago with Luffy? Sanji told me-”
“The cook doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Zoro grumbled in defense, cutting Nami off before she could finish talking. Knowing Sanji, he probably told some fake, overdramatic version of what had actually happened, which was nothing. Zoro absolutely had not even thought about it since it happened, in fact. “He should learn to shut his mouth.”
Nami squinted her eyes, as if trying to solve a puzzle. “Why are you so worked up? You didn’t actually-”
A familiar shout from down the street suddenly cut Nami off, and both her and Zoro whipped around to find Luffy barreling towards them, very obviously running from something.
Or, more likely, someones.
“Luffy, we’ve been on this island for, what, two hours? No way you’ve caused trouble already.” Nami groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose and looking about three seconds away from throttling Luffy where he stood.
“I didn’t mean too!” Luffy defended, crossing his arms. “But I was hungry, so I found a restaurant, and there just so happened to be marines in there, too! Not my fault.”
Zoro clicked his tongue. “Let me guess. What you actually did was dine and dash, so the marines started chasing you, then they recognized you and now they’re hunting you down?” He guessed, and by the way Luffy deflated at his words Zoro knew he was spot on.
No matter what, Luffy remained predictable as ever.
“I think he went this way!” A voice shouted from just around the corner, followed immediately by a small stampede of footsteps aimed in their direction, and the trio immediately began searching around themselves for somewhere to hide. Unfortunately, they were in the backroads with a line of buildings on either side of them, so there weren’t many options. Nami bolted across the street, ducking for cover behind a conveniently placed plant that was conveniently large enough to hide a person, but not convenient enough to hide three.
Zoro was about to say fuck it and whip his swords out altercation-free visit to this island be damned when Luffy suddenly grasped onto his arm and yanked him backwards.
“..I know what to do.” He whispered conspiratorially. “But don’t freak out.” And before he could start freaking out, Luffy suddenly fisted Zoro’s collar and spun them around in a surprising show of strength so that Luffy’s back landed against the brick wall. Zoro floundered, tripping over his feet until he had to catch himself with his elbows on the wall to keep from totally falling on top of Luffy, which only succeeded in caging Luffy against the wall as Zoro towered over him and effectively hiding him from view of the marines.
They were close. Too close. Luffy’s face was maybe two inches from Zoro’s as they breathed in the same air. Luffy was staring intently at Zoro, almost as if in a trace, until a shout from one of the marines snapped him out. They were just down the street. “Sorry, Zoro!” he whispered before getting on his tip-toes and crashing his lips against Zoro’s.
Just like the first time, Zoro was completely taken by surprise by Luffy’s brashness. Unlike the first time, Luffy was actually kissing him rather than just a quick peck on the cheek. He was messy and clearly inexperienced, but he was kissing Zoro with enough passion to make up for it. Almost unconsciously, Zoro pushed back into the kiss.
Luffy’s lips were soft. That was what took residence in Zoro’s mind as Luffy moved his mouth against his, and for a moment, Zoro completely forgot where they were and what they were doing this for. Briefly, Zoro considered that his own lips were probably chapped, but Luffy shifted against him and his worries flew away. His body felt like it was on fire, every vein flaming with a sort of desire Zoro was sure he’d never felt before.
Then, as soon as he’d connected them, Luffy was pulling away. The volley of marines had passed by them without another glance, and they were finally in the clear. They were both left quietly sucking air back in their lungs in a moment so tantalizingly heated Zoro was holding his breath.
And then the weight of what happened finally caught up to Zoro, and suddenly he felt like his lungs were being crushed under a hundred pounds of metal. He’d just kissed his captain. Shit.
Zoro pushed away from Luffy, who was still looking up at him with an indecipherable glint in his eyes. “The, uh, marines should be gone now.” He coughed awkwardly. Luffy blinked, almost like he’d forgotten that fact despite being the one to get their attention and initiate the kiss in the first place.
“Oh, yeah, huh! Well, thanks for helping Zoro. I always know I can count on you! Sorry Nami!” Luffy apologized with a wave Nami’s way before peeling down the road towards the direction of the docked Sunny.
Oh. Zoro had completely and totally forgotten about Nami, who’d been there the whole time, literally just across the street. Who had definitely witnessed Luffy and Zoro’s incredibly-normal-and-not-at-all-heated-in-the-slightest kiss. Yikes.
Slowly, Zoro turned to face his navigator. They both stood frozen and staring at each other for a long, still moment. Maybe if I don’t move, Zoro thought, she won’t say anything.
Unfortunately, because he has never been known for his luck, Nami raised a finger and pointed it accusingly at Zoro. “That-” Nami opened and closed her mouth a few times, gaping like a fish. “-That was not normal.” She finally managed, looking incredibly stunned.
Yeah, Zoro fucking knew. “‘S just Luffy.” He stated, like it answered every question in the universe. Usually it could, but this time Nami just stared at him in exasperated bewilderment.
Nami jabbed a thumb in the direction of the wall. “Sorry to tell you but that? Was not normal Luffy behavior. In fact, I’m genuinely surprised. And scarred. Mostly scarred. You definitely owe me for that assault on my eyes.”
Zoro pointedly ignored her last comment. “It wasn’t that weird.” It was a weak defence, even to his own ears. “Luffy would’ve done it with anyone. I was just the closest one.” Nami’s face soured.
“You’re joking, right?” She pleaded. When Zoro stayed silent, she threw her arms up in the air. “Seas, Zoro, you are stupid! I can think of a million ways Luffy could have gotten away from those guys. He’s faster, for one. Stronger, too. He is an emperor, for sea's sake, he totally could have taken a few local cops in a fight! But no, he chose the worst of all his options.”
Zoro was kind of offended at that, actually, but he figured Nami would not want to hear his protests about kissing him being the worst possible option. “Thats not true. It's Luffy, he does stupid stuff all the time.”
Nami looked at him pointedly. “Luffy isn’t stupid, Zoro. He only does stuff like that because he can. Because he wants to.”
Something about that notion made Zoro’s heart skip a beat. “Why would he.. why only with me?”
Nami pursed her lips, mulling something over. “Zoro you.. you do know how Luffy feels about you, right?”
Zoro furrowed his brows. “Yeah. He trusts me, obviously. I’m his first mate.” Clearly, going by the sigh Nami let out, that wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Whatever it was she was hoping he’d say was lost on Zoro (And as Usopp or Sanji might quip back, most things were).
Upset by his emotional stuntedness, Nami huffed and tried again. “What about your own feelings about Luffy, then? Do you plan to do anything about that?”
Huh? Now Zoro was even more confused. “What feelings about Luffy? What are you talking about?”
Nami narrowed her eyes. “If you're trying to hide it, don't bother. You aren’t subtle.”
Zoro thought he was going to pop a blood vessel. Nami could be stubborn and annoying on a good day, but Zoro was ready to punch something if she didn’t stop talking in riddles. “Subtle about what? I don't know what the hell you’re trying to imply here.” He snapped, irritation reaching its peak. Nami reeled backwards like she’d been slapped, something like realization crossing her features.
“Oh my god. You don’t know.” She muttered, more to herself than anything. Zoro crossed his arms, tapping his foot against the floor impatiently. At this point, he was ready to follow Luffy and head back to the Sunny. The rest of the crew was likely back already, anyway.
“We’re going in circles here, navigator. Are you going to elaborate, or can we cut this stupid conversation short and leave before the marines come back already?” He scowled, scanning the area to make sure there weren’t any marines about to jump them from the shadows. Seas knew Nami wouldn’t be able to fight them off if they attacked from behind.
Nami smirked suddenly, lips quirking up in a mocking, knowing way that had Zoro wary immediately. Whenever Nami had that look, it meant blackmail material for him and a neverending debt to her. “Seriously, Zoro. You and Luffy are mind-blowingly stupid, but that stupidity always seems to save your asses and get you where you need to go.” She said with a fond shake of her head. Zoro couldn’t even begin to comprehend what she meant by that before she was sauntering off in the direction of the Sunny.
Whatever. Zoro had other, more important things to think about anyway, such as why his heart had lurched out of his throat and his body got incredibly hot when Luffy kissed him. Maybe he should see Chopper about it.
-–*--*--*--
If a brain could mutinize, Zoro’s would have been thrown overboard for betrayal ages ago. He’d consider himself a put-together and stoic person, always on guard and ready to take on any challenge in the blink of an eye, but he’d been off his game lately.
The other night, Zoro had been sparring with Jinbei in the crows nest as a training exercise for them both. Jinbei had thrown an easily dodgeable punch, something Zoro would’ve seen coming immediately if not for the fact that his mind was half occupied with the memory of Luffy’s lips on his. It reminded him terribly of Mihawk.
He needed to get this Luffy situation under control now, less he became a liability on the battlefield. Fuck. Where did he even begin to try and fix that?
Zoro was deep in thought about this when the next challenge of the sea arose.
“We are officially out of food.” Sanji declared one day, arms dropping what was presumably the last of their supply on the table. There were a few boxes and cans of various food items, but certainly not enough to allow them to be picky. “Luckily, the lovely Nami has informed us that there is an island less than a day away, so we’ll make do.”
Loud complaining followed, mostly by Luffy but Usopp and Chopper had some wails thrown in there too, but the rest of the crew nodded tersely in understanding. Franky mentioned having built a prototype of some new automatic fishing system that should bide them at least the days worth of food despite not being complete, which brought some relief among the Strawhats.
The island they eventually docked at was about mid-sized, some island Zoro had never heard of before (which was most of them), but it looked like it’d have a decent selection of food to pick and buy from. The crew stepped off the Thousand Sunny, already searching for wherever the island’s shopping district was when a small group huddled and blocked the entrance, leaving them stuck on the wooden deck.
Zoro wanted to snap his teeth and scare the townspeople into dispersing, but he reeled himself in. The last thing they needed was the island shooing them away without the much-needed provisions.
A tall figure stepped up with his arms crossed and a glare on his face, clearly going for intimidating but landing somewhere next to petulant. “Ahem. I am the mayor of this town. Am I correct in assuming you all are pirates?” He asked, although Zoro was sure it was a rhetorical question, considering all of them were strapped with one weapon or another.
“Yes, that's right.” Robin responded, taking the initiative. “But we aren't here to cause trouble. We’d just like to restock, and then we will be on our way.”
The townspeople visibly relaxed at the assertion. Zoro almost snorted at how little reassurance it took for them to let their guard down, but refrained from doing so and allowed his hands to fall away from the hilts of his sword to better show their genuinity. He hated doing it, but they did need the resources, and well. If anything happened, Zoro was pretty confident he could take a couple of townspeople with just his fists, anyway.
“If you could direct us to where your shops are, we’d be exceptionally grateful.” Jinbei requested in his usual booming voice. It was then that the mayor winced, and Zoro found himself tensing up again.
Scratching his neck, the major cleared his throat awkwardly. “Ah, right. While I speak for the whole town when I say that we’re very glad you aren't going to pillage us, I’m afraid we still can’t sell to you.”
“What?” Chopper cried. “But why not! We really need these supplies..”
The mayor had the decency to look sympathetic, at least. “Unfortunantely, we have a law here.”
“What kind of law? No selling to pirates, even if they’re super friendly and not going to cause any trouble at all?” Usopp hedged, raising and lowering his eyebrows like that would convince the mayor to let them shop. Luffy nodded along gleefully, antsy to begin restocking. Or just to find a place to eat.
“I’m afraid not.” The major denied with a shake of his head. Usopp and Luffy both deflated in tandem. “You see, we here at this island are rather, ah, traditional you could say. It’s law to get married at twenty-five.”
The crew’s jaws dropped open. “That’s so young..” Usopp murmured, most of the crew nodding their heads in agreement.
Franky scratched the back of his head. “Thats a super..interesting law, man. But why’s that stop us from buying around here?”
“Well, that law extends to potential customers too. Keeps practices sacred and all that, so we only sell to married couples. I’m sure you understand.” The mayor waved off.
The crew stood stock still for a beat, trying to parse through the mayor’s words and figure out where to go from there. Unfortunately, as much as they wanted to turn on their heel and abandon the island, they were entirely out of choices.
“Laws like these are why we’re pirates.” Nami gritted behind a tight grin, and Zoro found himself agreeing. Seriously, what kind of bullshit law was that? Twenty-five? Married? Zoro scoffed at the thought. He’d never even considered being married before, who in their right mind would-
“Well, that’s okay, ‘cause me and Zoro are married.”
A pause. Nine heads turned to stare at their captain, who looked nonchalant and calm for very possibly the first time in his life.
“Oh!” The mayor gasped. “Oh, I had no idea! I didn’t see a ring on any of you..” He observed, rubbing a hand on his chin.
“Well, we are pirates, so it’s not technically legal. But we’re married in all the ways that matter, right Zoro?” Luffy, possibly for the first time in his life, lied perfectly smooth. Even Zoro might have believed it if not for the fact that they weren’t, in fact, married.
Seven stares plus the mayor turned away from Luffy and onto Zoro, who was sweating. Under normal, fighting circumstances, Zoro thrived under pressure. When it came to pretending him and his captain were together, though, Zoro floundered. “Uh..” He stuttered. His heart was already doing the weird speeding up thing.
Sensing his hesitation, Brook jovially leaned closer, whispering into Zoro’s ear, “Yoho, we need these provisions I fear. Play along one more time?”
Zoro so badly wanted to say no, because the thought of pretending to be married to his captain was doing bad, unknown things to Zoro’s heart and body, but he ultimately had a duty to his crew. So, steeling himself and pushing away the swirling and unwelcome thoughts in his mind, Zoro said, “Yup. Married for two years, but on the.. down-low. A need to know basis, you know?” And then, to make it as believable as possible, he walked over to Luffy and held his hand. His palm was sweating. Actually, his whole body was, despite the island being no warmer than seventy degrees. That couldn’t be normal.
And then Luffy sealed it by planting a kiss directly on his lips. Zoro resolutely ignored the slight urge he had to chase after him when the raven pulled away, because that was just the kiss messing with his head. Obviously.
“Now, this is entertainment..” Franky mused, Usopp vigorously nodding in awe.
The mayor was absolutely thrilled at this, clapping his hands together in excitement. “Oh wonderful, wonderful! Defying the law, just to be married! A true love story.”
If he was in a position too, Zoro would have pointed out that being “married” illegally would have been the least illegal thing they’ve done. Instead, he coughed. “So, uh, you’ll sell to us now?” He redirected, hoping that the faster they got their shit the faster they could leave the forsaken island.
“Yes, of course of course. Please, follow me to the shopping district…”
Luffy did not drop his hand throughout the entire trip to the island, and Zoro found he.. didn’t mind. Kind of liked it actually, which was a weird and uncomfortable thought. He never dropped Luffy’s hand either, though, and Zoro was sure there was something in this small act between the two of them that was important that he was missing. The only bad part, Zoro supposed, was that his body was still acting weird, and being in Luffy’s vicinity and holding his hand certainly wasn’t making it any better. Actually, it was getting worse.
There was only one thing to do now.
Zoro slammed open the door to the infirmary, shocking Chopper into dropping vials of medicine he hoped were empty.
“I think,” he announced, plopping himself down on the infirmary bed and staring resolutely at the wall. “That I am dying.”
-–*--*--*--
Zoro was not, in fact, dying, and Chopper was very angry at him for scaring him half to death.
Chopper tapped his pen against his clipboard, scrutinizing it with confusion. Every few minutes, he’d either cross something out, write something in, or just look at the patient on his bed like staring would answer whatever was wrong with him. Whatever it was had the reindeer stumped though, and that didn’t bode well for Zoro. What were the chances he’d gained some mystery disease with no known cure that only acted up around Luffy? That probably existed, Zoro was sure.
Chopper suddenly seemed to come to some kind of realization, because his pen clicking stopped and he cleared his throat. “Uh, Zoro. Can you repeat your symptoms one more time for me?” He requested. Zoro obeyed, reciting the weird happenings of his body.
“Heart beating faster than usual. Face and, uh, body getting really hot. Sweating? Yeah. Sweating even though I’m not working out or anything.”
“Uh-huh..” Chopper sounded out slowly, pen clicking once. “And you said all this only ever happens when you're around.. Luffy?”
Zoro nodded. “Yeah. I figure maybe it has to do with his devil fruit or something.”
Chopper coughed, hiding a smile. “Actually Zoro, I think I know what's wrong.” The reindeer ripped out the previous page he’d been writing notes on and threw it in the trashcan. He began to scribble something intently on the new blank page, before turning it around and showing it to Zoro. The word lovesick was written in all uppercase with three underlines and a circle.
“What the fuck?” Zoro screeched.
–*--*--*--
If Zoro could engage his very own heart and brain in a swordfight, he would. He was confident he could win, too. His body had imposed to ultimate betrayal upon Zoro- it made him fall in love with Luffy.
After his visit with Chopper, Zoro had done a lot of thinking. A lot of thinking that involved throwing weights around in the crows nest as he suppressed the urge to jump overboard, because Chopper had made Zoro realize something incredibly debilitating, which was his apparent harbored feelings towards his captain. Love. Zoro hadn’t even thought he was capable of it, but apparently he had been all this time.
It felt good to know why Zoro felt so strange and foreign when Luffy kissed him. It also felt fucking awful to know why Zoro felt so euphoric when Luffy kissed him.
Zoro tossed another large weight in the air. So. He was in love with Luffy. Had been for awhile, if what Chopper said was anything to go by. Zoro effortlessly caught the weight with one hand as gravity brought it down.
Thinking wasn’t Zoro’s strong suit, but training was. So the obvious solution had been to combine the two, and in his opinion it had worked out great. He’d come to terms with being in love with his captain- it made sense why his body tingled after every kiss and he found himself craving more, now- and had successfully figured out what to do about it.
Nothing.
“I don’t believe doing nothing is in your best interest.” A suave voice piped up, startling Zoro into dropping his weights with a swear.
Nico Robin sat in the corner of the room, her chin propped up in her palm and a sly gleam to her eyes. “How the fuck did you get in here- no. How the fuck do you know what I’m thinking about right now?” He demanded. Robin smiled.
“I know just about everything that happens on this ship, swordsman. This is the most exciting as of recent, however.”
Zoro scoffed, begrudgingly accepting Robin’s vague response. “Good to know my personal dilemma is exciting for you.” He plopped down in a chair next to the archaeologist, accepting a cool water bottle from a manifested limb and downing it in one go.
“You’re thinking too much about it all.” Robin noted. “Have you considered just talking to our captain?”
Had he. Yeah, Zoro had considered it, rolled the idea around in his head again and again and imagined all the ways in which that conversation could possibly go. Sometimes, it went well and Zoro found himself embarrassingly smiling to himself in an empty room. Most of the time, it ended with a hefty rejection and Zoro being sent packing off of the ship. All imagination of course, but Zoro was a realistic guy.
“Well, you said you know everything that happens on this ship, yeah? So you tell me how you think that conversation would go.” Zoro deflected. Robin hummed, crossing her legs and tapping a finger against her chin.
“I’m afraid this is not something I can involve myself in.” She apologized, and Zoro knocked his head against the wall with a groan.
“Then why are you here?” He grumbled. “To watch me drown in my emotions?”
Robin let out a wry laugh. “No, Zoro. Just to offer a bit of friendly advice. Talk to him.”
Zoro eyed her skeptically. “And if it goes wrong?” Because that was the true root of the problem. What was Zoro going to do if he poured his heart out to his captain, the man he’d completely devoted himself and his loyalty to, and he denied? What if Luffy thought it was weird, or it made him uncomfortable, or or or. The last thing Zoro would ever want to do was mess things up with Luffy.
She stayed quiet for a moment, thinking over her next words carefully. “What if’s aren’t going to do you any good.” Robin eventually decided on. “But I wouldn’t worry too much. You and the captain always seem to find a way to each other. Out of everyone, Luffy is probably the one person you can be vulnerable with." With her insight now finished Robin got up to leave. Zoro watched her, mulling over her words in his head.
When he thought about it, Luffy was never been like this with anyone else. Nobody else got the privilege of holding their captain’s hand, of getting kissed by him, albeit in fake and impulsive scenarios. And Luffy never, never did anything he didn’t want to do, so maybe he also.. enjoyed it. Wanted Zoro the same way Zoro wanted him.
Luffy is probably the one person you can be vulnerable with.
Zoro placed a calloused hand over his heart. Maybe, he could try sharing his feelings. Just once. Who was Zoro if not a risk-taker, anyway? He just had to wait for the right opportunity.
-–*--*--*--
“We’re stopping at this island here.” Nami jabbed her finger over an island on a large map, the rest of the crew hovering around the table and watching with rapt attention. “Tonight they’re hosting their annual Festival of Lanterns, and we’re going to attend.
“I’ve always wanted to attend that. It’s supposed to be beautiful.” Usopp swooned, already deep in some daydream about the event.
“I’m sure it’s not as beautiful as you, Nami and Robin!” Sanji pronounced, and Zoro aggressively rolled his eye. The love cook never changed, clearly.
It’d been a week since Zoro had been forced into accepting his feelings and the subsequent talk with Robin, but he hadn’t found a good chance to talk to Luffy yet. It was a delicate situation, one he absolutely did not want prying ears in on, but privacy was impossible to get on the Thousand Sunny. Even so much of a glance towards Luffy and his unfiltered sunshine had Zoro’s heart beating out of his chest.
He needed to confess, and the festival was without a doubt the perfect time to do so.
“I’ll buddy up with Luffy.” He declared before Nami could even bring up the topic of paring off. She raised her eyebrows knowingly and jotted their names together without another word. Luffy let out a happy noise and latched onto Zoro’s arm.
“This is gonna be so fun!” He laughed, and Zoro couldn’t help but agree.
The island itself was decorated top to bottom in elaborate lights and streamers. It was already evening, so the island was illuminated only by the various lanterns and fairy lights.
Luffy, obviously, had wanted to go to the food booths first and eat. Nami had been gracious and given them a hefty sum to splurge on food and games and anything else, so Luffy didn’t have to be picky or resort to stealing (Thankfully, because Zoro and the rest of the crew did not want to be kicked off the island).
One vendor had made idle chitchat that Zoro only vaguely paid attention to as he cooked up some meat that had Luffy drooling. “-of course, it’s also tradition for couples to kiss when the lanterns are released.” Zoro grunted in acknowledgement at the words, but hadn’t quite registered them as he searched around for something to eat for himself.
After they finally satiated Luffy’s endless hunger, they got a nice spot on the grass as they waited for the lanterns to be set loose. Luffy chatted about anything and everything, filling the silence with his gestures and energetic voice. Zoro loved listening to him talk. He could listen for eternity, if given the chance.
Eventually, a voice came over the loudspeakers to announce that the lanterns were going to be released, starting a countdown that everyone- including Luffy and excluding Zoro, of course- participated in. When the count reached zero, the lanterns were freed and Zoro couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped him at the sight.
The lanterns lit up the air in a bright and beautiful display, the people around them oohing and ahhing as they tracked the lanterns through the sky. Off to his side, Nami and Chopper looked totally entranced, and Brook softly strung his guitar with a smile. It was utterly mesmerizing. The island Zoro was born on, back in the East Blue, didn’t have any kinds of special celebrations besides the basic worldwide ones. Witnessing this, though, he sort of wished they had.
“It's amazing, isn’t it Zoro?” Luffy marveled. He looked completely in awe. The lights from the lanterns reflected back into his dark irises and the light bathed Luffy just right, making him look almost ethereal. Godlike. His heart ached at how beautiful his captain looked, and how there was nothing Zoro could do about it but watch.
If Luffy was a god, Zoro thought absent-mindedly, still staring at him, I’d be his most devoted worshipper.
“Do you remember what the people said, earlier?” Luffy spoke suddenly, his eyes still locked onto the sky. “About the tradition of what people do under the lanterns.”
Zoro racked his brain, trying to think of what Luffy was referring to. While he thought, he saw a couple kissing in his peripheral and it hit him then what he meant. His cheeks immediately tinged pink. He was glad Luffy wasn’t looking at him. “Oh- uh- you mean about the couples..” he trailed off a little awkwardly, but Luffy picked up on his words anyway.
“Yeah.” He finally turned to face Zoro, and seas his smile could knock a man off his feet. Luffy didn’t know, would never know, what he did to Zoro, and it was both Zoro’s biggest curse and his best blessing. “We should do it, too.”
Zoro’s breath hitched. “..Kiss?” He asked weakly, hoping and praying that that was not what Luffy was implying. It was fine before, when Zoro didn’t understand his own feelings, but now? Zoro wouldn’t be able to recover this time. He certainly wouldn’t be able to hide his feelings, considering his heart already felt like it was bursting out of his chest at just the idea.
“Yeah! I like kissing Zoro. And everyone else is doing it. So..?” Luffy egged, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. And because Zoro was a weak man, he agreed.
“Sure, captain. We can.” Maybe this was the opportunity Zoro had been looking for. Yeah, he thought as a lantern passed overhead, this is a perfect time.
Almost reverently, Zoro grabbed the sides of Luffy’s face and pressed his lips against his captains’. Luffy responded immediately, a rubber hand weaving into the back of his green hair and forcing their mouths closer. Luffy exhaled softly, the sound going straight to Zoro’s gut. Luffy was so perfect, so annoyingly perfect and consistent and Zoro did not want to be anywhere else than by his captain’s side. He wanted to kiss him on the ship, in every cabin and on every new island and eventually on Laugh Tale when Luffy became Pirate King.
Eventually, they had to pull back for air, but Luffy didn’t let him loose for more than two breaths before moving himself closer to Zoro. Zoro’s hands found his waist, gripping and moving their bodies flush which made Luffy smile into their heated kiss that was bordering on makeout territory. It was heated, passionate, everything Zoro had ever desired and dreamed.
There’s no way, Zoro thought, that Luffy can kiss me like this and- and not. Because Zoro may not have been an expert on love or matchmaking, but he knew desire when he saw it. And Luffy- Luffy was still kissing him, still licking into his mouth like he wanted to taste every inch of it, and- and-
And then they were pulling away for real this time, both panting for breath and staring deeply into each other’s eyes.
“Luffy.” He rasped, desperately trying to make his voice work as he came down from his high. This was his chance, his moment and he was never going to get another one as perfect as this, he needed to tell Luffy now. “Luffy, that- you- I need to tell you-”
Luffy suddenly placed a hand over Zoro’s mouth, cutting him off. There was.. something in his eyes. It wasn’t quite happy or excited, but something bordering on acceptance or guilt.
“It's fine, Zoro, don't panic! It doesn’t mean anything, okay?”
Suddenly, Zoro felt like all the air was punched out of his lungs. He stood a shaky step backwards, blood pumping loudly- too loudly- in his ears, tuning out whatever else Luffy was saying. It felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath him, leaving him vulnerable and unsteady. Luffy’s words played on repeat, over and over and over again.
It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything.
Oh, Zoro was going to be sick.
Zoro was suffocating in the open air. He needed to get out, leave, put any kind of distance between him and the person he was willing to give it all up for. So for the first time in his life, Roronoa Zoro turned on his heel and ran away. Luffy’s confused questions followed behind him, but also for the first time, Zoro ignored his captain. Coward.
What would Mihawk think of him now? Instead of fixing the battles in his mind, he was running away from them. But if there was anyone who could dilute Zoro to the weakest version of himself, of course it would be Luffy.
-–*--*--*--
Zoro wasn’t sure how long it’d been since he’d run away, but by now the lanterns had long since floated away and out of sight, leaving only the twinkling stars alone in the sky and the festivities had died down to a more quiet, gentle atmosphere. Zoro sat alone on the edge of the docks, legs swinging slightly above the water as he nursed a bottle of booze and stared across the dark waters. For once, the ocean was calm, as if also basking in the peacefulness of the nighttime festival. The Sunny swayed gently where it was anchored next to him. Nobody on the crew was on board for the night yet, and likely wouldn’t be for a while. These kinds of opportunities didn’t come often for them, after all.
Taking another swig, Zoro contemplated his situation. Even with the alcohol, the anxiety had not left from the pit of his stomach, nor had the longing in his heart stopped. He hated it; the intense feelings and confusion and deep-rooted desire that came from being in love. If he wasn’t, everything would just be easier. Where did he go wrong? Why did it have to be Luffy?
Confronting his feelings was a mistake, and Zoro cursed everyone who made him do it. Life was so much better when he wasn’t constantly worried and so brutally aware of everything Luffy did and said, and the impact it had on Zoro.
It was just one more sacrifice he’d have to make, for Luffy’s sake. Always for Luffy’s sake.
Zoro sighed, about to get up and finally just board the Sunny when small, soft footsteps sounded on the wooden planks behind him. Zoro did not have to look up to know it was Luffy. He could recognize his captain’s walking patterns anywhere.
He did not say anything even as Luffy plopped down next to him, clearly unsure about how to approach Zoro after what happened. He couldn’t blame him- knowing Luffy, he probably hadn’t caught on to Zoro’s.. attraction, and therefore had no clue why he hightailed it out after the kiss. Certainly it was better that way, if Luffy continued not knowing. If Zoro just lied about why he ran, it would save him the humiliation of admitting his true feelings, and save Luffy the awkwardness of telling him why it could never be.
Certainly, Zoro would never lie to his captain about anything if he asked directly, no matter how much he wanted to.
Luffy kept shifting in place in what Zoro knew was a nervous tick of his. He could feel his eyes dart to Zoro, then to the water and Sunny and back to Zoro, biting his cheek as he tried to figure out what to say.
That was the other thing, about Luffy. He was just as bad at talking through his emotions and being vulnerable as Zoro was. Go figure.
Zoro dropped the hand holding the bottle down to his side, staring up at the starry sky as he heaved out a sigh. “I don’t know what to think, with you.” He confessed, opening up the conversation himself.
Luffy tilted his head to the side in confusion. If Zoro were looking at him, he was sure he would have that small, cute pout on his lips Luffy had whenever he was trying- and failing- to figure something out. “What do you mean, Zoro?”
“I mean-” Zoro started, stopped. He pressed his palms into his eyes, taking a shaky inhale. Zoro was not known for being a vulnerable person. He didn’t speak about his feelings, but if he kept these ones bottled up any longer Zoro was sure he was going to explode. “I mean I don't understand you, Luffy. You- you sit close to me and say in your favorite and tell everyone we’re dating and kiss me and- and then declare you wouldn’t want to do any of it with anyone else. But.. then you turn around and say it doesn’t mean anything. So.. so I don’t know.”
There was a beat of silence, and Zoro almost wondered if Luffy had walked away in the face of all Zoro’s complicated and tangled up emotions. He wouldn’t fault him, if he did. These were Zoro’s problems, Zoro’s misunderstandings, and it was hardly Luffy’s fault that his first mate wanted their fake kisses and declarations of love to become something real.
He was pretty sure he’d wanted that for a while, actually. Ever since he saw Luffy defeat a group of marines for him that day in Shells Town, Zoro had fallen for him. Loving Luffy was just so easy, so natural. Loving Luffy came to Zoro like breathing, so he really couldn’t be blamed for not noticing his own feelings until now.
“Does Zoro.. want it to mean something?” Luffy asked carefully, slowly. Still here despite having every reason to turn around and walk away. The tone he spoke in was so unlike him that Zoro recoiled a little in surprise. Luffy was blunt and honest, never sugar coating his words or holding back his own thoughts for others’ sake. But now, he sounded weary. Almost like he was.. scared of the answer, maybe.
“..What if I said yes?” Would he run away? Would he stop clinging onto Zoro while he trained, or talk about whatever stupid thoughts filled his brain as Zoro laid down to nap?
Would he kick Zoro off the crew? Love- love was a weakness. All it did was get in the way, and Luffy couldn’t afford to have anything blocking his path to become the Pirate King. Zoro would rather stab his own stomach out than be the cause of Luffy not achieving his dream.
And yet, here he was, bearing his heart out raw and vulnerable and confessing his greatest sin to Luffy - that he loved him.
Funny, how Zoro was the one to threaten to cut down Luffy should he interfere in Zoro becoming the world’s greatest swordsman, but now Zoro was the one getting in the way. Without Luffy, he would not ever become the greatest swordsman. That much, Zoro was sure of. Unfortunately, Zoro was almost positive he’d ruined that, now.
Suddenly, a hand was grabbing insistently at Zoro’s own, a silent request for him to look. Miserably, because he would always do whatever Luffy asked of him, Zoro did, only to find his captain beaming like his first mate had just hung the moon.
“Then I'd be really, really happy!” Luffy smiled, so bright Zoro felt like he was being blinded by the sun itself. But-
“You- huh?” He questioned intelligently, brain not quite up to speed yet. Luffy would be.. Happy? But why? Didn’t he know what Zoro just admitted to him?
Luffy must’ve read the thoughts straight off his face, because his grin softened as he settled down, sitting criss-cross in front of Zoro. His hand had yet to let go.
“I thought- I thought that Zoro didn’t want it to mean anything. That's why I said that.” Luffy explained with a soft voice, not quite looking at Zoro as he fidgeted with his first mate’s fingers. “I could tell Zoro was thinking about it a lot, and I didn’t want to scare you away.”
I didn’t want you to leave me because of it, went unsaid, but Zoro heard it all the same. Luffy wasn’t usually vulnerable and saying it directly would be too much for tonight at least, but Zoro knew Luffy better than anyone.
However, the implications weren’t lost on him. While Zoro had been conflicted about how he truly felt about his captain, parsing through his tangled up emotions with great difficulty, Luffy had been panicking that Zoro would leave the crew because of his own feelings.
Hence.. why he said it meant nothing. Because Luffy assumed that if Zoro thought their kissing and fake marriages and whatever the fuck else meant nothing, he’d be okay with it and stay. While in actuality, Zoro was wanting to hear the exact opposite.
Oh, what a mess they’d made.
“I wouldn’t worry too much. You and the captain always seem to find a way to each other."
“Seriously, Zoro. You and Luffy are mind-blowingly stupid, but that stupidity always seems to save your asses and get you where you need to go.”
He had scowled then, but now thinks he understood what Nami and Robin had meant.
Zoro finally unstuck his mouth, trying to for once in his life find the right words to say. As always Luffy remained patient, eyes locked entirely on Zoro as he giggled to himself as his swordsman’s dumbstuck awe.
“Luffy,” Zoro breathed, “I do. I want it all to mean some-”
A sudden explosion in the sky cut through his words, and both Luffy and Zoro looked up to see colorful fireworks exploding in the sky. Luffy’s smile grew wider as he pointed at the sky, stars in his eyes.
“Zoro, look! I didn’t know they’d have fireworks!” He exclaimed, giddy as a kid in a candy store. It was so characteristically in character for his captain, Zoro couldn’t help but chuckle fondly.
“I love you, Luffy.” He spoke quietly, just for Luffy to hear. Luffy didn’t bother to respond, just grabbed Zoro by his collar and pulled him into a kiss so tender and sweet and gentle that Zoro was almost surprised it was coming from Luffy. It was like he was pouring all his love into the one action, and Zoro couldn’t help but reciprocate.
“Because Zoro couldn’t tell before,” Luffy teased, “I love you too.”
Yeah, Zoro could get used to the whole feelings thing.