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The roar of applause and cheers echoing loudly across the music hall as he and Pio bow hand in hand after Pio's incredible performance of Jeongyo’s masterpiece is almost thunderous enough that the bellow of a gunshot going off almost gets swallowed up by it all but Jeongyo hears it, he feels the rush of fear that comes with it and the terror of the memories of the moment his life went to ruins. He wants to run away, to find safety but all he can do is freeze in place his eyes finding the shooter in the middle of the crowd, a familiar face that still haunts his past.
Between the moment the gun goes off and him realising it's aiming straight for him, Jeongyo is helpless to do anything but accept his fate.
Only as he squeezes his eyes shut waiting for the pain to hit, he's instead jolted back from the force of a taller frame curling around him, blocking him from the threat.
The pained cry that's breathed over his left ear is heartbreakingly familiar and in the next moment as screams of terror echo around them, Jeongyo snaps his eyes open just in time to catch Pio as he sags helplessly against him, his big brown eyes wide in fear as they both fall to the stage in an awkward heap.
“Kang Pio…” Jeongyo gasps, pulling the taller man closer to his body, holding him against his chest as his eyes roam desperately over him looking for the damage.
He pulls his left hand away from Pio's back to find it covered in crimson, the thick blood dripping as his hand shakes in terror.
“A-are you okay?” Pio stammers, his face paling by the second as he reaches up to press a shaky palm to Jeongyo’s cheek, his normally wide, emotion filled eyes darting over Jeongyo's face before they begin to droop.
“Wh-why? Why did you do that? What were you thinking?” Jeongyo cries in response, pulling Pio closer again, curling around him, hugging him to his body as sobs begin to rattle through him.
“HELP! SOMEBODY HELP, PLEASE. WE NEED HELP!” Jeongyo screams desperately, his eyes searching the crowd for somebody, anybody who can help him save Pio but everyone is too busy trying to save themselves, running in all directions trying to escape.
“You need to stay awake for me, okay?! I'm going to get you out of here but I need you to stay awake.” Jeongyo says brokenly, cupping the back of Pio's neck as the pianist begins to fall motionless, his eyes falling shut and his face dropping to Jeongyo's chest. “Pio, you need to stay awake. KANG PIO!”
Everything after that is a blur of paramedics, flashing lights and far too much blood.
He doesn't remember much of the drive to the hospital or parking up or even running through the halls, all he knows is he gets to the hospital in one piece still covered in Pio's blood as he's steered towards a waiting room that is quickly filling up with Pio's mother and grandfather, Ms Seonju, Jaein, her mother and Do Hyeonsu.
Pio's mother tries to protest his being there, she storms towards him before her small fists begin pounding on his chest demanding he leaves but professor Hyeonsu yanks her off him, forcing her to the other side of the room with a stern warning that Pio would want him here.
Jeongyo doesn't have it in him to care, staring down at his bloodstained hands in horror as the reality of the situation threatens to swallow him whole.
Why would Pio take that bullet for him?
Why would he put his life on the line when he's the one who wanted him dead in the first place?
None of this makes any sense, none of it's adding up and Jeongyo's heart feels like it's breaking all over again.
Despite the betrayal, despite everything that's transpired between now and nine years ago, despite everything he and Pio have faced both together and apart, Jeongyo can't ignore the soul shattering pain that comes with the possibility of Pio's death.
“Why?”
No one answers his desperate whisper, he doesn't really expect them too but as the minutes shift to hours the question remains, shaking Jeongyo's resolve to the damn core.
*
The doctor comes out to talk to Pio's mother and grandfather a few hours later, his expression a mask of professionalism.
Jeongyo hears fragments but the words that stay with him are that Pio's surgery went as well as can be expected but the next 12 hours are critical.
Critical… If Pio doesn't wake up in the next 12 hours then the chances of him making it out of this are minimal.
The thought alone has Jeongyo running for the toilets, the contents of his stomach hurling into the toilet bowl beneath him, with a sharp acidic burn that makes his throat raw and his eyes water.
When there's nothing left to heave up, Jeongyo flushes the chain and forces himself towards the sinks, his reflection that of a horror movie when he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirrors hung above the sink.
His face is pale except for the splatter of bright red blood dotted across his left cheek and forehead, his eyes lifeless and his hair is stuck up in all directions from him fisting it in the waiting room. His suit is ruined beyond repair and his hands are still stained red.
Why he hasn't washed them before now he doesn't know but suddenly the need to rid himself of Pio's blood on his skin has him scrubbing harshly at his own body, pump after pump of liquid soap pooling in his hands as he attempts to desperately clean the blood away.
His skin's left red raw by the time he's done, his face looking swollen where he scrubbed at it but he doesn't care just shuffles his way back to the waiting room to find it even fuller with Police officers now.
They take everyone's statements including his own, the female officer who questions him giving him pitying looks the entire time. Somewhere along the way Pio is allowed visitors but only two at a time. He's still unconscious but stable for now.
His mother and grandfather go in first, Jeongyo just waits, sometimes sitting, sometimes pacing the long hall outside Pio's room.
The hours tick by, Jaein though still clearly angry with him, hands him a cup of hot coffee that he sips at but doesn't taste.
It's all just white noise until the early morning rolls around. Pio's grandfather and his wife leave to get some rest. Pio's mother has been called away by the police who need something or other and Jaein and her mother leave though Jaein promises to be back with a bag of Pio's things, all of them only leaving after being promised by the nurses that they will be called as soon as Pio wakes up.
Jeongyo isn't sure where professor Hyeonsu has disappeared to but with everyone else gone, Jeongyo sneaks into Pio's private hospital room.
Jeongyo doesn't know what he hopes to gain from being here, he's so unsure of himself now that Poi's sacrifice of himself for him has turned everything he thought he knew up on its head but as he enters the room, his eyes fall instantly on Pio's motionless body causing his heart to sink.
Pio looks so fragile like this, his tall frame small in the large hospital bed, a drip connected to his hand and an oxygen tube tucked under his nostrils assisting him with breathing. His normally flawless pale skin is unbearably paler and deep dark circles sit under his closed eyes.
Jeongyo moves one of the chairs closer to his bed side, carefully and quietly sitting down beside him.
“Pio…” He whispers softly into the too quiet room just the steady beep of the heart monitor, the only sound echoing off of the walls.
Reaching out to carefully scoop Pio's hand in his, Jeongyo can no longer hold back the tears he's managed to keep at bay since it all happened but seeing Pio like this, motionless and pale has him sobbing brokenly in to the dark, the soft glow of the lamp in the corner the only thing lighting up Pio's injured form.
Gently caressing Pio's hand, Jeongyo's eyes fall to his damaged fingers, the bruising fingertips and the harsh lines of dried blood around his fingernails make his stomach churn once more.
He did this, he forced Pio to hurt himself like this. His beautiful hands, once elegant and precious, his skillful fingers all damaged so badly because he pushed him to do so.
Jeongyo has never hated himself more, never wanted to rip himself apart the way he does right now faced with the proof of his mistreatment towards the only person he's ever truly cherished.
Even as his brain tries to remind himself of Pio's betrayal all he can do is cry knowing that he's the reason for all the suffering Pio has been going through for months.
“Was it worth it?” A deep voice breaks the silence, shocking Jeongyo out of his pit of despair.
A quick glance up reveals professor Hyeonsu, his hand reaching out to squeeze his shoulder as he gets closer. Jeongyo doesn't understand the question.
“Huh?”
“Trying to break Pio the way you did? Hurling insults at him, overworking him to the point of near exhaustion. Was it worth it? Was his performance as devastatingly beautiful as it was, was it worth it?” Hyeonsu asks, his eyes curious.
“I…I, he betrayed me.” Jeongyo stammerers pathetically, the words tasting like ash on his tongue as his mind swirls and his hands begin to shake as he looks down at Pio's damaged fingers in his timid grasp once more. “He wanted me dead so he could win.”
“Oh Jeongyo. Pio never betrayed you and he sure as hell never wanted you dead.” Hyeonsu replies, voice tender but firm.
“You don't get it, he was behind my abduction. He admitted to it.” Jeongyo argues, his heart squeezing dangerously as Hyeonsu shakes his head, eyes sad.
“I don't know what he's said to you, Jeongyo but Pio wasn't behind any of it. His mother confessed to me that she was the one behind it all, Pio is and has always been innocent.” Hyeonsu admits, his eyes glassy as they fall on Pio's still form.
Bile rises in Jeongyo's throat, his chest burning now as his heart begins to beat out of time, a flood of guilt turning his blood to ice in his veins.
“N-no… No you're wrong, Pio wanted me out of the picture so he could win, so he could have the life he dreamed of without my talent overshadowing him.” Jeongyo argues though the words sound more like a plea, begging to be right because if what his old teacher is saying is true he's been destroying Pio for absolutely no reason and he doesn't know how to face that.
“I'm sorry, Jeongyo but I'm telling the truth. Pio has done nothing but struggle since you disappeared. Did he honestly look like a man who had everything he’s ever wanted, to you?” Hyeonsu asks, voice kind though his words cut through him sharper than the bullet that took his talent from him.
“B-but… No… n-no you can't be telling the truth because if you are then I…”
The sob that tears from Jeongyo's chest rattles around the room, echoing back in all its heart shattering glory.
Jeongyo's chest feels too tight and his breathing begins to come out in sharp gasps that don't fill up his lungs enough to get any real air into his body. The room blurs as his vision begins to go hazy.
Jeongyo doesn't want to believe it, he doesn't want to acknowledge that he had it all wrong because if he does then every cruel insult, every harsh word, every unforgivable threat thrown Pio's way over the last few months have been for nothing.
He's hurt Pio emotionally, physically, hell he's even damaged his career and for what?!
“Why would he take the fall for his mother? Why would he admit to something he never did? He's got everything he's ever wanted… I don't understand.” Jeongyo sobs, still gasping for air between each word as Hyeonsu crouches to comfort him.
“For someone who has everything they ever wanted he sure doesn't look too happy to me.” Hyeonsu sighs honestly, his eyes sad as he wraps Jeongyo in a hug that he doesn't deserve. “From what his mother told me, Pio was probably protecting her from doing something stupid.”
The implications of his words aren't hard to understand, Pio's mother threatened her own well being and Pio took the fall because of course he did.
The weight of the truth sits heavy on Jeongyo's soul, threatening to crush him whole as his world falls around him.
The last nine years, all of the pain and the upset, all of the heartbreak and betrayal of this one side love he thought he was alone in.
All of it a misunderstanding that has taken root and turned him into the devil himself.
Jeongyo barely recognizes himself these days, he's felt out of place since being back in Pio's orbit. All of the dark thoughts and endless questions of why just for the truth to be the complete opposite of what he believed.
Devastation consumes him, dragging him down into a swirl of misery and self loathing, he feels like he's going to be sick again and his chest burns from the lack of air getting into his system.
Hyeonsu tries to talk him through the very obvious panic attack, somehow managing to bring Jeongyo back from the very edge just as the world begins to turn black but when he eventually catches his breath enough to focus again, Jeongyo feels entirely unworthy of being by Pio's bedside.
“I should go, I should leave.” He mumbles pathetically, oh so carefully placing Pio's hand back down on the bed sheets, sparing himself one last brush of his fingers over Pio's before stumbling back out of the chair.
“Jeongyo…”
“I won't go far… just, I don't deserve to be here when he wakes up. Jaein will be back soon, please stay with him until then.” Jeongyo stammers out, stumbling his way out of the room, hands shaking and heart burning.
He runs to the toilets again, falling to his knees to bring up bile and acid from his stomach. His guilt is so heavy it's palpable as he dry heaves over and over until he has absolutely nothing left, falling pathetically to the floor with yet another harsh sob.
He's not sure how long he stays there for, just knows the darkness of his mind as he curses himself for being so damn stupid, for being so cruel and hideous towards Pio.
Consumed by his own self hatred, his brain reminds him there's a tall bridge not too far from the hospital, that he doesn't deserve to live, not after all that he's done. It's almost tempting too, to force himself to his feet and end it all but that's too kind.
He demanded that Pio lived for him, told him he had to take every nasty thing Jeongyo threw his way and yet here he is thinking about taking the quickest way out.
No Jeongyo will stay by Pio's side until he's sent away, he'll beg forgiveness and take anything Pio wishes to do to him as punishment without complaint. He'll break himself in two if Pio demands it, tear himself apart and grovel until Pio is satisfied and then he'll grovel some more.
It's what he deserves and at the very least he has to apologize to him, it's not going to be enough, it will never be enough but he has to try, he has to repay Pio because even through it all, the love he has for him is still there.
It may have been twisted and bent out of shape, forged by falsities and wrong doings but even in their darkest moments Jeongyo's heart still sings for Pio and he'll do everything in his power to repay his mistreatment.
Forcing himself up off the floor, Jeongyo staggers to the sink to clean himself up, scrubbing at his hands and face once more.
He looks pathetic even to his own eyes, withdrawn and small, a mere scrap of the man he thought himself only hours before but he pulls himself together nonetheless, making his way back to Pio's hospital room. He doesn't enter, doesn't dare to, not now but he does very slowly slide down the wall next to the room’s entrance, curling in on himself, knees to chest, waiting until Pio wakes up.
***
Pain, that's the first thing Pio registers as he comes too, there's a dull, throbbing ache radiating from his left shoulder but his head feels too fuzzy to fully register it properly.
His throat feels dry and no matter how hard he tries, Pio can't seem to get his thoughts in any kind of order. It's all just darkness and fragments of playing random chords, of loud cheers and the overwhelming feeling of dread.
Nothing makes sense and his head hurts too much to understand why.
Trying to open his eyes to at least get some sort of bearings of where he is, Pio groans as the sharp morning light stings his tired eyes.
There's hands on his arm in an instant, squeezing gently but Pio shakes them off unsure of who's touching him.
“Pio, Son, are you awake? Come back to us.” Pio hears his mother say, her voice a shrill cry as he painfully blinks his eyes open to find her leaning over him, her eyes red and full of tears. “Oh thank God.”
The sharp sterile smell of hospital registers now as he takes in his surroundings, his mum is patting at his chest leaning over him crying even more and he notices Jaein stood at the end of his hospital bed, eyes filled with tears, offering him a watery smile.
Pio still doesn't know what's going on and why he's here but as he searches the room, unconsciously looking for a familiar set of piercing, sharp eyes the memories suddenly come rushing back; The performance, Jeongyo looking back at him with proud eyes for the first time in a very long time, their hands linked as they bowed for the audience's roar of applause then everything coming crushing down around them.
The gunman and the absolute horror he felt as he saw the gun aimed at Jeongyo, he remembers the split second choice he made knowing he couldn't let Jeongyo get hurt again and how he didn't think just curled himself around the conductor to block him from danger.
Did he succeed? Is Jeongyo okay? Is that why he isn't here, did he end up hurt anyway?
The sudden thought has Pio panicking, the rhythmic beating he didn't notice before starts beeping twice as fast and worryingly uneven but Pio doesn't have time to worry about the fact that, that is apparently his own erratic heartbeat connected to a monitor because all he can focus on is the fact that Jeongyo might be hurt or worse.
“Je-Jeongyo… where is Jeongyo?” Pio asks desperately, his voice hoarse and uncomfortably scratchy.
“Are you crazy? He's the reason you're in this state.” His mother yells, shrill and whiny but Pio ignores her, forcing himself up in the bed, struggling but determined.
“Please, where is he?” Pio begs, his panic increasing as he continues to try and get out of bed even as Jaein starts pushing him back down trying to placate him while his mother begins yelling at him, angry that he's so worried about Jeongyo.
“Jeongyo…Where's Jeongyo? JEONGYO! JEONGYO!” Pio starts to yell, terror taking over now because why isn't anyone answering him?!
“Pio-ah…”
How he hears the soft, almost hesitant call of his name over his own and his mother's yelling, Pio isn't sure but what he does know is the second his eyes land on Jeongyo stood just inside the doorway, his eyes red rimmed and swollen, he finally feels like he can breathe again.
“GET OUT OF HERE! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Pio's mother yells, rounding on Jeongyo who sneers at her in response, his eyes narrowing dangerously.
“Funny, I thought everything that's happened is down to you.” Jeongyo snarls, voice terrifyingly cold and heavy with implication.
His words hit just as he means them too, Pio's mother gasps backing up a step, eyes wide and suddenly scared.
The words make Pio pause too, his heart rate spiking once more as he realises that Jeongyo knows, or at least suspects.
“Jaein, can you take mum out of here. Just for a few minutes, please I need to speak with Jeongyo.” Pio asks desperately, turning to his ex with pleading eyes, adding an extra please when she begins to protest.
“Fine but if I hear any yelling…”
“You won't, please just a few minutes.” Pio reassures her, calling out for Jeongyo as Jaein begins ushering his mother out, closing the door behind them.
At the call of his name Jeongyo's eyes snap to Pio, the fierce defiance that was aimed at his mother melting away into something soft when turned to Pio. It's such a stark difference from the harsh glare Jeongyo has been directing his way lately that the heart monitor starts to beat faster again in time with Pio's stupid heart.
“Are you okay? You're not hurt right? The blood?” Pio asks quickly now he has Jeongyo's attention, worry still plaguing him as his eyes drag over Jeongyo's blood stained suit.
“I'm okay, a little shaken but fine. The blood is… the blood is yours.” Jeongyo answers, his voice shaking, rushing to Pio's bed side when he tries again to sit up again, wincing as he does. “You need to lay back down, you've only just woken up. I'll get a nurse.”
The way Jeongyo gently lays Pio back against his pillows, helping him rise the bed so he can sit up at least a little, makes Pio melt in compliance.
After everything that's happened, after months of anger and resentment; Jeongyo treating him as something precious, fragile even makes his chest warm in a way he hasn't felt since they were teenagers.
“Don't, not yet. Just stay with me for a few minutes then you can call anyone you want to come and prod at me.” Pio requests hopefully, offering a small smile when Jeongyo nods, his eyes searching his face.
“Why didn't you tell me the truth? How could you let me be so cruel when you didn't do anything wrong?” Jeongyo whispers brokenly, his eyes filling with tears as he begins to reach out for Pio's face but stops himself mid air, his hand curling into a fist as he pulls it back, hesitant.
Pio just stares up at him in shock, unsure of himself with this version of Jeongyo when he's had his harsh counterpart for so long. He doesn't know how Jeongyo found out or how much he knows but from what he's said he knows enough.
“I… I didn't know what else to do. Things just spiraled out of control so quickly and you were so angry, understandably so but I just…” Pio trails off not knowing what else to say, there's so many misunderstandings between the two of them he doesn't truly know where to start and his head is still pounding.
“Pio-ah…” The soft, sweet call of his name makes Pio's heart soar, it's everything he's wanted for so long that he can't help how his eyes fill with tears or how his bottom lip begins to tremble so caught up with emotions.
“Jeongyo-ah…” Pio calls back softly, gasping in shock when Jeongyo drops to his knees at his bedside in a bow. “Wh-what are you doing?!”
“I'm so sorry, Pio-ah. I never should have done all those horrible things to you. There's no excuse, I should have known better but I was so hurt…” Jeongyo apologizes quickly, his words almost too fast to understand with his head hurting the way it is but Pio just about keeps up as Jeongyo bows to him over and over again, head low enough to touch the floor each time.
“Jeongyo, you don't need to do this…”
“I do, I really do. I've been so cruel, I wanted to hurt you. I did hurt you…” Jeongyo cries, he's an absolute mess and it breaks Pio's heart.
“I've never blamed you for any of it.” Pio says quickly, trying to shuffle out of bed once more to stop Jeongyo’s bowing but his pained groan has the desired effect.
Jeongyo is up in an instant, helping settle Pio back down.
“You should blame me, you should hate me! I would hate me.” Jeongyo mutters pitifully, his pretty dark eyes downcast.
“I could never hate you, Jeongyo-ah. Even if you wanted me dead, I still couldn't hate you.” Pio admits, eyes sad as he reaches out for Jeongyo's right hand, careful not to grip it too tight.
He's seen the way Jeongyo holds himself now, always conscious of the hand that no longer works the way it used to.
“I've hurt you so much, look at your hands for damn sake, I did this to you.” Jeongyo cries, gently caressing Pio's bruised and cut fingers with a distraught look in his eyes.
“They'll heal in time, just like us if that's what you want?” Pio asks gently, searching Jeongyo's face as his head shoots up and he looks at Pio in utter bewilderment.
“You still want that for us? You still want me in your life?” Jeongyo asks, shaking his head, unsure of himself.
“I searched for you for years, Jeongyo. When I found you… Having you here, alive, it's more than I ever thought I could have. I was willing to suffer your abuse just to stay by your side so why wouldn't I want to stick around now that you don't hate me anymore?!” Pio admits, shy now that he's been so honest but Jeongyo rewards him by tugging him into the hug he's craved since the very first time they met again.
“You deserve so much more, Kang Pio.” Jeongyo whispers into his hair, his hand on the back of Pio's neck, stroking the hairs there gently with his thumb as he embraces Pio carefully but incredibly tenderly.
“Guess you'll have to make it up to me then.” Pio teases, his heart lighter than it's been in years as he winds his arms around Jeongyo waist.
“I can do that. I will do that, I'll make it all up to you for the rest of our lives if you'll allow me too.” Jeongyo promises, shocking Pio as he presses a soft kiss to the top of his head.
Pio doesn't make a big deal of it, though his heart monitor is going crazy again. Instead he carefully leans into the press, looking up into Jeongyo's eyes when he pulls away to look at him apprehensively, unsure of himself now.
Without thought and knowing that they've still got so much more to discuss, so much more to work out, Pio decides it's now or never and pulls Jeongyo in by the front of his shirt, pressing a soft peck to his lips.
Just as quickly as it starts it ends again, just a soft tantalizing press of lips but when Jeongyo registers what just happened he gives Pio a look that warms his insides, his heart squeezing when Jeongyo leans in to press a deeper, lingering kiss to his lips, sighing as he tilts his head to get a better angle.
Pio is powerless to do anything more than kiss back, gasping ever so softly as his eyes fall shut. It's everything that he's ever dreamed of and more and for the first time in his life, Pio doesn't fear the repercussions he just selfishly hopes this is the first of many, many kisses.
He doesn't know what the future holds but what he does know is as long as he has Jeongyo by his side he's willing to do whatever it takes to keep him.