Chapter Text
"I only wish. . . Ben were here."
Leia shuffled closer to Luke on the Falcon's dejarrik bench. From here, she could smell the warm, dusty scent of his poncho. Like her, the clothes on his back were now all that he had left of his old life. The image of Alderaan being consumed by flames danced in Leia's head again, but she forced down the pain.
Others first, she thought. Others always first.
"Tell me about Ben." she finally said, "He was always General Kenobi to. . . mother and father. But I never met him."
Luke looked up sharply, the pain in his eyes focusing on her. "Oh, pri- Leia," he said, "I'm sorry. You lost your family too. You lost your whole world! And here I am, just thinking about myself!"
She shook her head, smiling sadly. She'd had days to dwell on Alderaan. "Please, Luke," she said. "Tell me about Ben, and your family."
Luke glanced at her, then sat up straighter. When had her arm gotten draped over his shoulders? Well, it was nice. Owen and Beru hadn't really been physically affectionate to him. It was nice. He was glad she wasn't the kind of person who acted shy and embarrassed around people they didn't know.
He fumbled absently with a corner of his poncho as he began to speak. "Well, I lived on Tatooine, with my Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen. I wasn't really their nephew, but Uncle was my father's stepbrother. My parents both died when I was a baby, so I lived with them. Ben was the local 'wizard'." He smiled. "Kind of wacky. But he drifted into town or came by the farm occasionally. He used to bring me toys on my birthday, and he'd tell me stories, too. Stories about adventures and heroes and faraway planets. I loved old Ben. But one day when I was nine or ten, he started to tell me. . . something - I forget what- and Uncle Owen got really angry, told him to never get near me again, or he'd shoot him with his Tusken rifle. I never talked to Ben after that, though a few times I thought saw him, far away, just. . . watching."
He frowned, then went on. "And then Uncle Owen bought those two droids from some Jawas -"
Leia's stomach twisted, her blood froze. No. More blood on my hands. No.
"- and R2 ran away, to Ben's house! So I followed him into the desert, and got attacked by Sand People, and Ben saved me. Then he gave me this lightsaber." He held it up, sparkling in the dejarrik lights. "And he told me that it was my fathers', that my father had been a Jedi knight, and he had too, and that he wanted me to become one."
Leia's eyes grew huge. "Is that real?" she breathed, guilt pushed away for the moment.
Luke held it out to her, and she took it, stroking the cool metal with reverent awe.
"My father told me about the Jedi, and the Old Republic," she said. "It was illegal, of course, and the Jedi had been purged, but. . . he hated the Empire. He was preparing me to fight from the moment I was born. Almost like he. . . ." she shook her head sadly. "When he sent me on my mission to get General Kenobi, it was like the legends were coming to life, until. . . ."
"But we got your message!" Luke said, "we got it, and Ben wanted to help. I did too, but. . . I had work to do." His face creased with sadness, and a hint of bitterness too.
"But then," his voice rose a little in pitch, "I got home, and it was on fire, and - and they were dead! The Empire burned my aunt and uncle alive!" Luke was near tears, eyes wild and frightened and angry.
Leia's chest was tight with guilt. If she'd eaten anything in the last three days, she was sure she'd have thrown it up.
"Luke." Now he would hate her. And she deserved it. "It's all my fault. I got caught by the Empire, I sent the droids. . ." here came the tears. "It's all my fault! Alderaan too. Everything!" She covered her face in despair, shaking with sobs.
But instead of reviling her, instead of leaving, Luke just lifted the poncho off his shoulder and wrapped it around both of them, pulling her to his side. He'd never so much as hugged a girl before, but this felt right.
"Leia," he said. "It wasn't your fault. It was the Empire. Everything. It was them. Only them." He thought briefly about his own hopeless life on Tatooine. "Back home, there was nothing to live for, no future, the Empire closing in. But the Rebellion, Leia, you're fighting for something. Living for something. Living for others. Sometimes, dying for others." He squeezed the hilt of the saber, blinking away tears of his own. "I should thank you."
"But. . . but I. . ."
"What you did, Leia, was to protect billions of people from the Empire. They're the guilty ones, not you." He hesitated. "I'm sure your father would be proud."
"I miss him." She said, sounding young and afraid. "I can't believe they're all gone."
"Me neither." said Luke sadly. "We just. . . have to fight harder. For them."
"For them." Leia murmured.
. . . . . . . .
They were still sitting there when Han came in.
"Chewie's in the cockpit," he said, "We'll be arriving soon, so-" He trailed off, noticing their red-rimmed eyes and hollow expressions. "You two okay?" he asked, flatly.
Luke and Leia looked at each other. Leia smiled weakly, and Luke stood, helping her to her feet. They faced Han.
"We're fine."