Chapter Text
Cross held Killer tight against his chest, today was another non-responsive day for him.
These episodes haven't been as severe as they once were.
After Nightmare’s death Killer had been pretty much catatonic for a while.
Well not at first.
At first Killer refused to believe Nightmare was dead since his body had not dusted, instead the corruption that covered his body had melted away but the bone had not been white, but grey.
Like his brother centuries before, Nightmare had turned to stone and he had done so alone.
They had been a few months into the truce still working things out, negativity had been at an all time low, Dust and Horror had left the castle, Killer had been the only one to stay.
Nightmare had been stressed and weak, he had gone alone to a negative universe that was mostly neutral at this point but thanks to the restraints of the truce it was the best he could get.
Killer had with Color and Lust, just to hang out at Nightmares insistence since Killer had been isolating himself to the castle. Though he would never admit it, Dust and Horror leaving had hurt him badly even though they claimed they still wanted to be friends Killer had been ignoring any of their attempts to contact him.
So Nightmare was alone in a surface world, out of sight and attempting to absorb all the negativity he could. Unfortunately he had been seen and by people who had every reason to hate him. They attacked and Nightmare was forced to run.
Nobody knew exactly what happened but Nightmare was clearly badly injured.
He had ran to the underground and lost them but he had lost his phone, something he had only gotten for emergencies (and so Killer would stop nagging him about it)
He had laid in the field of echo flowers in waterfall.
He had known he would not live long.
The last thing he did was pick a flower and whisper one last message into it for his soulmate.
Killer held that flower in his hand now, he didn't play it but Cross was sure that Killer was hearing his mates last words anyway.
“...Killer… my soul, my one true love I- I love you so very much. I'm sorry… i must ask you, please live on, for me, find love again. If you love me, then love for me. I'm so sorry I cannot … *pained breath* be with you…. Kills…”
It was Dream who had found Nightmares body after having received reports about his brother's appearance in that world. He had delivered the flower to Killer but he refused to accept it at first, both the flower and Nightmares death.
Dream and Killer were the only ones that did not consider Nightmare dead, after all Dream had come out of the stone so why couldn't Nightmare.
They still did not know what had broken Dream from the stone however, plus that had taken hundreds of years and Killer was mortal he didn't have the time to wait.
Killer had been very helpful, for awhile working with Dream to properly balance positive and negativity and they had done good work. But there had been no change.
Killer forced himself to work, to not feel, because if he did he would feel the pain in his soul. The pain that meant his soulmate was gone.
See Killer and Nightmare had been soulbonded, and if one of the soulbonded mates were in pain or killed then the other would feel it.
Losing a soulmate was the worst possible pain. It caused many monsters to fall down.
Killer couldn't fall down, he had to save his soulmate.
The pain in his soul just kept growing, like Nightmare was slowly dying.
Until one day exactly a year later, Killer collapsed.
He had been comatose for 5 months and when he woke up he was not the same.
Cross did not really know how it happened
They had hated each other at first Cross had only briefly joined the gang before going to join Dream after that they never talked even after the truce they only were ever in the same room during truce meetings.
Despite this Cross had been one of the few to step up and care for Killer and they had grown close.
Killer had asked Cross to help him fulfill Nightmares last wish for him.
To move on, to love again.
So Cross had dragged Killer out of the castle, to hang out with his friends, to do things together.
Cross never expected that it would be him that Killer would want to love.
Now here they were 7 years, 6 months, and 3 days
Cross holding Killer as he tried to dig himself out of this depressive episode and back to Cross.
Now don't get him wrong, Cross knew where he stood with Killer.
He was the second option. He would have no chance with Killer if Nightmare returned.
He wasn't angry with it though. He loved Killer and did not have a problem considering Killer his soulmate despite the fact that Killer would never be able to feel the same.
Cross felt Killer begin to move in his lap stretching up and tucking his face into Cross's neck sighing and Cross let himself relax. He might never be able to make Killer as happy as he was with Nightmare, but he could at least be here for him, keep him safe and warm and alive.
It happened on a random day.
They were both in the castle again. Cross had suggested moving between the castle for a month and staying with friends or finding their own place for a little bit every other week. Last weekend Cross had found a little beach house, they had meant to stay there for just one weekend but Killer had done so well there that Cross extended their stay by a week and a half.
It was the morning after they had returned to the castle, Cross was making breakfast and Killer was sitting at the small kitchen island watching Cross cook with a soft look on his face.
Crosses phone buzzing and vibrating startled him, its not like he never gets texts or calls from his friends, Epic had a habit of bombing his phone at random times with memes.
It was both his phone and Killers phones blowing up with calls and texts that truly startled him.
Killer stared at his phone for a moment, not bothering to pick it up, instead looking to Cross, confusion written all over his face.
Cross picked up the phone and put it on speaker for Killer.
It took a few moments for Cross to get the other to calm down enough to tell him what was going on.
It was Dream on the other end
“He’s back! Nightmare! He’s awake.”
Suddenly Cross couldn't hear, the ringing in his skull too loud to hear
Cross would later feel guilty that this was his first thought upon finding out Killer could once again be whole and happy but right now he just felt sick and terrified and could not stop thinking “im going to lose him.”