Chapter Text
Naruto awoke to the blaring of his alarm clock as usual. He uncurled himself from the pillows he cuddled every night and excitedly sprung out of bed. Today was not a usual day. Team Seven was finally assigned a C-rank mission, the first ‘real’ mission since their unexpected A-rank in the Land of Waves. There were some close calls that day.. It was far above what fresh genin should’ve been able to handle, but Naruto was no average ninja! And neither were his teammates, they all proved themselves capable that day, and came out on top. Ever since then, they had only been busied with D-rank missions, errand running, escorts, lost pets, baby stuff. Yes, these things were admittedly important too, but Naruto was itching for the chance to prove himself again. He came close to losing a teammate that day, so no matter what today’s mission entailed he was determined to complete it and protect his comrades, with no one getting hurt this time.
He set some water to boil and went to look over himself in the mirror, still in his t-shirt and shorts he slept in. His overgrown hair somehow covered his eyes, while also standing up in all directions. He should really get a comb.. He tried dragging his hands through the tangled strands with no success, just yanking through the knots and only making them worse. The disheveled image standing before him.. Certainly wasn’t very ninja-like. He thought back to the previous afternoon, he had been training with Konohamaru, refining their sexy-jutsu, his greatest secret technique. They spent most of the afternoon as girls, scantily clad and causing havoc everywhere they went. It was a solid strategy for distraction and deception, but it was also quite fun! He remembered how it felt to run his hands through his long hair in that form, several feet of silky smooth locks, tied up in two long pigtails. He grimaced at his own frowning face in the mirror, and suddenly had an idea. He brought his hands together into the tiger seal.
“Sexy-jutsu!”
With a quick poof, he was now faced with the form he’d practiced many times in this mirror before, but this time it was a little different. He remained fully clothed, with shorter more practical pigtails, and a figure and height that reflected his own age, not the excessive curves of a tall grown woman, designed to elicit the attention of older men. His face was almost the exact same, just a little slimmer, longer lashes, thinner brows.. His hair was efficiently gathered together and held back from falling into his eyes, he looked.. Not exactly sexy, but still nice.. Not very different at all from his usual self. Certainly a lot neater.. He changed into his tracksuit and looked into the mirror again, giggling to himself as he ran his hands through his bangs and pigtails, perfectly smooth.. He glanced at the time on the clock. Yikes, he was glad he packed his bag the night before in excited anticipation. He wasn’t running late just yet but he would have to eat his breakfast in a hurry. His smile faded as he brought his hands together to undo the henge and hurriedly tame his previous messy hair, wishing he could stay like this, but.. Well.. Why not? He thought to his female friends, Hinata, Ino, Temari, Tenten, they were all exceptional ninja too of course. After all, the strongest ninja in the whole village, who filled the role he hoped to one day, was Tsunade, the first female hokage.. And Sakura! Maybe Sakura would be a little nicer to him like this! Maybe Sasuke would too? Either way, time was running out to get ready and with his limitless reserves of chakra, the amount he used to maintain the image before him was nearly unnoticeable. He tied his headband around his forehead and took a final look in the mirror, now he looked ninja-like for sure.
The whistling of his kettle tore his attention away to what was really important, ramen! He rushed over to pour the boiling water into his instant ramen, pacing around as he waited a minute for it to cook, then scarfing it down while burning his mouth a little.. As always. He grabbed his pack and slipped on his sandals, stepped out into the cool stillness of the early morning, and locked his door behind him. He hurried to the entrance of the forest where his team planned to meet and debrief, and saw them already huddled together looking over a map.
“Hey guys, check it out! I decided I’m gonna be a girl today!” He stood proudly with his hands on his hips and beamed his brightest smile toward his team.
Both his teammates just stared at him with incredulous looks on their faces.. Oh no.. Both their faces turned a little pink, were they.. Angry? Disgusted? That’s right, they both hated the sexy jutsu, as effective as it was toward perverted old men, they were always repulsed by vulgar displays like that. But this was different.. Naruto was just in his usual outfit, he really hadn’t changed much. So why were they still looking at him with those weird expressions..
“You’re late.” Kakashi said flatly, unamused and indifferent to his appearance, casually leaning his weight onto a bamboo rod in his hand.
“Sorry..” Naruto deflated a little, but scurried over to sit beside them. Sakura and Sasuke continued to look at him uneasily, which Naruto tried to ignore. “What’d I miss?”
“We’ve received intel on the thieves who took the golden statue, they’re either on land along this path, or sailing by boat and landing somewhere in this area,” Kakashi traced his finger along the suspected route. Nice! Thieves to be stopped and treasure to collect, this was much more exciting than chasing around lost cats! Naruto already had his mind set; that he would be the one to steal back the statue. “So, we’ll split into two teams and wait for them in both locations. Now, to keep the teams balanced, I’ll be on one and you three will be on the other.”
“Hold on, what does that mean,” Naruto interjected, “You’re saying Sasuke needs all the help he can get?”
“No, he means you!” Sasuke retorted, shooting him an annoyed look without meeting his eyes, before turning to Kakashi, “I know I’m not up to your level yet, but I doubt you need three on one team. Why don’t you take Naruto off my hands, you subtract his skill from yours and we’ll be even.” Sakura gasped and batted her eyes at Sasuke.
“Sasuke! Is this just a clever ruse so that you and I can be alone together?”
“Come on, you gotta be kidding!” Those expressions were weird.. But Sakura was ignoring him and Sasuke was already getting on his nerves, clearly nothing changed. “Why would my skills subtract from his?!” Naruto angrily leaned toward Sasuke.
Sasuke leaned away in retaliation, “Simple, because you have nothing to add.”
“What!?”
“Hehe, Sasuke just wants to be with me so bad he can’t even wait!”
“Ugh.. You’re as annoying as he is..”
Kakashi rolled his eyes and slammed the bamboo rod to the ground. Suddenly, an electric shock jolted through Naruto’s body, the three of them yelped in pain and wearily stopped their bickering..
“Pay attention now.. I’ll watch the pier and you three will keep an eye on this path in the forest.” He pointed out a marked location on the map, and Naruto refocused his attention, nodding diligently. “If the thieves appear at my location, I’ll send a signal with this,” He held up the rod. “When this lightning barrel is tossed in the air, it’ll release a thunderbolt. Once you verify that it went off, rush straight to the location that it marks.”
“You better be careful with that, I don’t wanna get zapped again..” Kakashi turned to him with a knowing look.
“Just remember, you three are not to act on your own, you got that, Naruto? I mean, hmm, Naruko?”
Naruto was taken aback a little by Kakashi’s acknowledgement of his changed appearance, but it made him happy, the name did fit perfectly.. He.. She groaned in Sasuke’s direction. “Yes, Sensei..”
Sasuke gave her another weird look, but met her eyes this time to nod in agreement, before quickly looking away. What’s up with that.. The four of them stood up, Kakashi gave them a short wave before turning on his heel and quickly disappearing in the direction of the pier, leaving the rest of them in awkward silence. They gathered their things, and Naruko and Sasuke stood on either side of Sakura, who held up the map for them to see.
“It’s this way,” She pointed behind them, and looked between the two with her typical critical gaze. “Just behave yourselves, especially you.. Naruko-chan.. And don’t think I’m getting any friendlier with you just because you’re a girl right now!” Naruko sighed but gave her a sheepish smile. They steeled themselves and wordlessly put their differences aside, all ready and focused on the task ahead. Sakura led the way toward the marked path and the other two fell into a triangle formation behind her.
“Just don’t get in my way, alright? Naruko-chan?” Sasuke teased in a quiet voice, smirking at her.
“Hmph! You stay outta my way too!” A lame comeback, but it was all that came to Naruko’s mind, which nearly went blank from the way Sasuke took a moment to inspect her new form, looking her up and down. She sharply turned away to look straight ahead and focus, but felt his eyes linger a little before Sasuke stubbornly did the same.
She felt reassured by their mostly indifferent acceptance, strangely comforted by the fact they weren’t any gentler or harsher toward her like this. She tightened her headband and brushed off the memory of those weird looks, composing herself and turning her full attention to being on high-alert of their surroundings, as they made their way toward the marked path to fulfill their duty.
꩜
Team Seven stood together, regrouping back at the entrance of the village.
“Well.. maybe it can be melted down and recast?” Kakashi held up the prize of their successful mission, the golden bear statue that was now barely recognizable as such, but retrieved safely nonetheless. “Though that’s a pretty big ‘maybe’..”
“Oh Sasuke, thank you!” Sakura said while hugging tightly to Sasuke’s arm.
“What!? He didn’t do it by himself, you know, Sakura..” Naruko said, exasperated. After having their hands stuck together by the thieves’ chakra-infused glue jutsu, she and Sasuke had to work in perfect harmony to rescue Sakura from them and secure the treasure. It was infuriating! But it was a team effort, and Sakura was totally ignoring her contributions yet again. “This is getting ridiculous, can’t you do anything about it, Kakashi Sensei?” Naruko pulled desperately at the rubbery substance keeping their hands impenetrably stuck, to no avail.
“Look, that thief already told you guys, it’ll just crumble apart on its own in two or three days.” Sakura explained.
“If I have to put up with her that long, I’ll kill her!” Sasuke pulled back against Naruko and they both uselessly tugged at the substance in frustration. Sakura covered her mouth as she laughed in their faces.
“I should be the one saying that!” Naruko kept pulling, before she suddenly froze in realization. “Uh oh.. I’ve gotta go.”
“Again!?” Sasuke said.
“Yes again.. And this time it’s number two..”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Sasuke’s face paled as Naruko began tugging him in the direction of some bushes. “Don’t you dare, Naruko!” He complained, while still reluctantly letting himself be dragged along in defeat.
“C’mon.. We already peed together, what’s the big deal?” She said while looking over her shoulder at him.
“This is so much worse!” Sasuke continued to protest. Naruko was already tired of his complaining, they’d already been stuck together all day, couldn’t he just get over himself already?
Behind them, Sakura’s face was screwed up into an unreadable but definitely sour expression. Kakashi spoke to her, “Those who abandon their friends are worse than scum..” He looked into the setting sun, sighing, and now spoke more to himself than her, “All things considered, you three really overcome your differences quite easily.” Sakura crossed her arms and turned away from the antics of her teammates as they disappeared into the bushes, to look into the fiery sunset as well, and quietly contemplate Kakashi’s words.
Naruko laughed at Sasuke’s discomfort and dug a small hole in the dirt with her foot, then pulled down her pants and squatted to.. Take care of business.. Sasuke sat to the side, silently fuming and looking away. She was done after a minute, then it dawned on her.. She forgot to get paper out of her bag, which she left sitting beside Kakashi and Sakura..
“Uh.. Sasuke?”
“Don’t talk to me while you’re doing that! Just hurry the hell up..”
“I can’t.. I forgot the paper..”
“Dammit, you idiot! You’re lucky I’m still wearing my pack..” He rummaged around in his bag and held out some paper behind his back.
“Hehe.. thanks.”
“Whatever.. Usuratonkachi..”
Naruko finished up, standing up to pull up her pants while kicking dirt back over the hole, and announcing, “I’m done!”
Sasuke turned back around.. A little too soon.. While Naruko was still struggling to get her pants back up with only one hand. His eyes naturally looked toward her before widening in shock at what he saw.
“Ugh, Naruto!! I mean– Naruko!! Pull your damn pants up, then you’re done, I don’t wanna see that..” He shouted while squeezing his eyes shut and turning away again.
“I’m trying! Just help me, I can’t grab both sides at once! Besides, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before, you prude..” Sasuke averted his gaze while roughly helping her pull up the other side of her pants with his free hand, and refused to look at her as they both stood up again.
“It is with you.. like that..”
Oh.. Naruko had almost forgotten she was still maintaining the henge. Sasuke hadn’t seemed bothered by it but he was right, it was kind of inappropriate for boys and girls to see each other like this.. Was it making all this more awkward? She suddenly remembered earlier that day, when they were first attempting to pull apart their hands.. How they had accidentally kissed, and for the second time! Of course they brushed it off in order to focus on the mission but.. Naruko couldn’t tell if being a girl this time made it more or less weird..
“Whatever!” Naruko changed the subject, “I just wanna go home.”
“We’re going to my house.”
“Not unless you have cup ramen!”
“I don’t eat junk like that.”
“Well you are tonight, or you can just starve for all I care!”
“We’re going to my house, Naruko, I’m not telling you again.”
“Why do you get to decide!”
Sasuke’s eyes were still glued to the ground and he was silent for a moment as they walked back over to grab Naruko’s pack. “You know what.. fine.” His words were agreeable, but his tone was dark and bitter. The sky was almost fully dark now, Kakashi and Sakura were already fading into the distance as they returned home. “Like Sakura said, we have to deal with this for three days at most and it’s already been one, so we should only have to spend two nights like this. Your apartment is closer and I just want to go to bed already. We can sleep at mine tomorrow so it’s fair.”
Naruko had won this argument, but it wasn’t a satisfying victory.. Somehow, she wasn’t at all relieved by getting to go home.. She pouted and equally refused to look at him. They both sulked toward Naruko’s apartment.
She unlocked the door in silence, and they walked through into the kitchen.
“Ramen is all I have right now so.. Do you want it or not?”
“Fine.” She filled up her kettle and they sat in a terrible tension as they waited for it to boil. Sasuke absently looked around at her messy apartment, likely biting back the need to criticize it. Once the water boiled she readied the cup ramen and shakily poured them some water to drink, having only her non-dominant hand to use. She spilled a little, and Sasuke watched the water drip making no comment at all. It was unbearable.. She hoped for him to say something– anything, even if it was just to complain. But he remained quiet and she refused to break the silence as they ate. Then finally looked at each other again, unsure of what to do as they finished their measly dinner. Naruko stood them up to throw away the empty cups and place them in her nearly full trash, where a stack of similar cups had already formed. Finally, Sasuke broke the silence.
“How do you live like this.. You should eat real food, that stuff was gross.”
Naruko just shot him her sharpest glare and refused to respond, sharply tugging him toward her bedroom to get this day over with already. She sat down on the bed as far as she could get to the edge and laid down with a huff, leaving her trapped hand extended behind her.
“You’re just gonna get in bed in your clothes, without a bath, seriously?” Sasuke remained standing.
“I’m done putting up with you for the day! And I’m not getting in the shower with you! So you can just deal with it until we’re apart again.”
“Whatever. It’s your gross bed anyway, what do I care..” The bed shifted as Sasuke laid down as well, also dramatically close to the edge of the small bed, their backs to each other, both of them too tired to keep protesting.
Naruko was seething with frustrated exhaustion. How could she have let those thieves land an attack on them in the first place? It was careless, due to the both of them trying to attack at once. No– really, it was due to Naruko letting Sasuke move first, she should’ve jumped into action before he had a chance, caught them by surprise, and recovered the statue before the whole situation took a turn. Sure the mission was a success, but they let Sakura be captured, she was in danger, this could’ve all been avoided if Naruko was just faster, stronger, better.. Regrets and disappointment refused to let her mind settle, and she laid awake for minutes, hours, just cursing herself for getting into this predicament. Eventually she noticed Sasuke’s even breathing, he’d fallen asleep already. She was uncomfortable in her position so she carefully shifted to her back instead, but it still wasn’t right, she was used to wrapping her body around her pillow for comfort every night.. But she had no choice but to lay there uneasily and just try to clear her mind. She had never had someone else in her bed, never had a friend want to sleep over.. And this couldn’t even truly count as the first time, since he was here totally against his will.
To be honest, when Sakura said the glue would take so long to dissolve, she was almost.. Excited.. To get to spend that much time with Sasuke. Not because he’s any fun to be around! She would’ve much rather gotten stuck together with Sakura, and had to save Sasuke’s sorry ass instead! But just because they usually went their separate ways after missions, they trained as a team most days, but outside of that they rarely saw each other. Naruko thought maybe.. They could play the games she usually played with a clone, walk the routes around the village that she usually walked all alone, or train on their own together, just the two of them, to pass the time.. It was a stupid idea..