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Cameron had an itch that he really needed to scratch. Really, really needed to scratch.
This had been one hell of a year, and it was time for a little downtime. Horizontal downtime.
They all had the week off. The Ori had been sent packing with their tail between their legs and for the moment, which without a doubt wouldn't last, things were quiet.
Definitely time to scratch that itch.
He gave some thought as to who he'd most like to get in bed. It was a considerable list. There were a lot of people who turned him on at Stargate Command. The place was filled with passionate, educated, good-looking men and women all of whom Cameron would be pleased to spend some quality time with.
Speaking of passionate, educated, good-looking people, Cameron started thinking about his team. Sam was gorgeous but off limits. Not only because she was technically his subordinate, despite their same ranking, but he'd also heard rumors about her and General O'Neill, and Cameron didn't want to go barking up the wrong tree.
Teal'c, well, the man was good-looking and built like a brick house, but Cameron wasn't sure Teal'c swung that way, and Cameron sort of liked his face the way it was.
That left the best for last. Dr. Daniel Jackson. Cameron just liked saying his name. Dr. Daniel Jackson.
In his mind, before he'd taken command and realized his dream team had scattered to the four winds, SG-1 had seemed a legend of mythic proportions. The best brains, the best soldiers, the ones who saved the Earth time and time again.
All four of them, O'Neill included, larger than life. But it had been Daniel who'd taken his breath away, even before he'd met him. And once he had, well, that was all she wrote.
They'd all had big expectations to fill for Cameron, and all of them had done it. Sam was as smart as expected, Teal'c as strong and capable, and Daniel….
Daniel was everything expected and more which had been a surprise, because Cameron didn't believe anyone could truly be all that Daniel Jackson was purported to be. Here was the man who was responsible for the Stargate Program. He'd opened the Gate, made the allies, challenged the institution, died and kept on coming back for more.
Cameron couldn't even remember how many times the guy had supposedly died. Ascended, not just once, but twice. Knew a thousand languages, and damn, but he was hot.
Dr. Daniel Jackson. Hot damn.
Every mission had been a secret delight as Daniel did exactly what Cameron hoped he would. He'd suddenly turn around and there Daniel would be: Dr. Daniel Jackson in action.
The more Cameron thought about it, the more he liked the idea. The best part was that if Daniel wasn't interested, he'd be cool. None of this yelling or screaming or fists flying. Jackson had seen it all. He'd no doubt apologize very nicely, and then his head would be back in his books before Cameron had left his office.
On the other hand, he might say yes.
Reassured and feeling horny, Cameron went in search of his prey.
"Hey, Jackson," Cameron said, as he spied Daniel at his desk, head bent over some teeny tiny writing. Cameron grinned at the sight.
Daniel looked up, blinking. "Oh, hey, Cameron."
Cameron came on in, shutting the door behind him. He decided to just get right to it. Time was a-wastin'. "So, you want to get out of here?"
"Hmm?" Daniel said, head bent over his book.
Cameron grinned again. Dr. Daniel Jackson. Oh, yeah. "Let's get out of here," he suggested again.
Daniel looked up again. "And go where, exactly?"
"For a little backseat mambo, do the deed, drill for oil, exchange some bodily fluids." There, that ought to do it, Cameron thought with another grin.
Daniel blinked again. "Excuse me?"
"He's asking you to have sex with him, Daniel," came a dreaded voice from the corner of Daniel's office.
Cameron's heart skipped a beat. Then another one. Then he thought he might be having a fucking heart attack. That could not be General O'Neill. General O'Neill did not just hear him proposition another man. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. With his gut churning, Cameron saw his life flash before his eyes.
"I'm not sure how you stayed alive this long with such sucky surveillance skills," the general said as he moved into Cameron's eyesight. "And you'll have to excuse Dr. Jackson, Colonel," Jack said, emphasizing the colonel in such a way that Cameron heard soon-to-be-major-maybe-captain-maybe-lieutenant-maybe-back-against-the-wall-being-shot.
"Excuse me, what?" Daniel asked Jack with a hint of warning in his voice.
"For being so clueless when someone's hitting on him," O'Neill answered with a sour look on his face.
Pulling his body into rigid attention, Cameron thought desperately for the words to say that would make this all a joke. His mind was a complete and utter blank.
Daniel frowned at O'Neill. "I am not clueless," he argued. "You always imagine things."
"What?" O'Neill said incredulously. "He just asked you to exchange bodily fluids with him. How is that imagining things?"
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Cameron thought he might throw up. No sex was worth his career. Not this career, not the best damn job anyone could ever have. He opened his mouth, willing words to come out.
"Jack, stop it," Daniel complained.
"He asked you to have sex with him," O'Neill said angrily.
"And I'm flattered," Daniel said primly. "And not interested," he added. "So, stop looking like you're going to court martial the man and put him out of his misery."
What? What? Cameron dared a look to find Daniel grinning at a scowling O'Neill.
"Why should I do that?" O'Neill glowered. "He asked you to have sex with him."
Daniel rolled his eyes. "Jack."
"Daniel."
"Jack."
Cameron watched the two of them. It was hard not to. Normally he'd be enjoying the hell out of himself. Watching Daniel give General O'Neill shit was enough to make anyone's day. However, right now, Cameron's balls were in Daniel's hands. So to speak. And not the way he'd wanted.
"He asked you to have sex with him," O'Neill said again, hotly.
"You sound like a broken record," Daniel grumbled. "And so what? All he did was ask. If you'd kept quiet for another second you would have heard me say no."
With a sense of bewilderment, Cameron began to think that whatever the two of them were talking about, it didn't have a whole lot to do with him.
"You'd better have said no."
"Jack. Don't be stupid."
O'Neill sighed. Then he glared at Cameron. "I don't care if you want to have sex with sheep, just leave this one alone. He's taken."
Cameron's mouth fell open. Obviously the rumor mill couldn't be more wrong. Not Sam. Not even the right gender.
"And if I ever again see you fail to properly assess a room like that, I'll knock you down a rank," O'Neill added with a growl.
Cameron deserved that. "Yes, sir," he said, still at attention.
"Are you calling me a sheep?" Daniel asked, his voice annoyed.
"No, I'm not calling you a sheep," O'Neill denied with deep exasperation.
"It sounded like you were calling me a sheep. You can have sex with sheep, just leave this one alone," Daniel repeated. "That's what you said."
O'Neill rolled his eyes. "For cryin' out loud."
"And what's with the caveman routine?" Daniel asked with dancing eyebrows, aggravated. "I'm surprised you didn't just hit me over the head and drag me to your cave."
Cameron almost grinned, lightheaded with relief. Maybe he was going to get out of this alive, and even more importantly, with his job.
O'Neill blew out a long beleaguered breath. "I'll pick up some cheesecake for dinner tonight."
Daniel considered the peace offering. "With blueberries?" he counter-offered.
"With blueberries."
Daniel smiled at the general. "You can go now," he said with an air of royalty conferring favors on the unwashed. "I'll see you later."
"I'm not leaving you alone with him," O'Neill griped.
"Jack," Daniel said, pulling at the general's fatigue jacket until he leaned down enough for Daniel to give him a kiss. "You have got to work on this jealous streak of yours. Go away."
Grumbling, glaring at Daniel, and shooting a look at Cameron that said 'touch him and you're dead' and a little bit of 'don't think you can hold this over my head because I'm General fucking O'Neill with two ll's and I'll have your liver for dinner with a nice Chianti', O'Neill left Daniel's office.
It never crossed Cameron's mind that this was blackmail material, something handy to have over your superior officer. Well, it crossed his mind for a second, but was instantly dismissed. O'Neill had friends in high places. A lot of friends in a lot of places, and Cameron would disappear and no one would even notice.
"Sorry about that," Daniel said. "He gets a little territorial."
Cameron took his first breath in about five minutes. He was just glad he hadn't wet himself. "Jesus," he said, falling into a chair. "Jesus H. Christ."
Daniel winced a smile at him. "I would have stopped you if I'd had any idea. And not that I'm not flattered, but I'm really, well, I'm not available."
And thank God for that, Cameron thought. If Daniel came and sat naked on his lap, Cameron would push him off to the floor. No way was he going toe-to-toe with O'Neill. "He must have hated the whole Vala thing," he said, thinking of O'Neill and territory.
"Oh, yeah," Daniel said with a grimace. "He wasn't a happy camper."
"So, you two," Cameron waved a finger between Daniel and where O'Neill had been standing, "are in a…thing?"
A small laugh escaped Daniel. "Yeah, you could say that."
"How long?"
"About a year and a half. Since the whole Anubis and replicator thing."
Wow. A year and a half. That seemed like forever. Especially as Cameron hadn't suspected a thing. O'Neill was right. His surveillance skills sucked big time.
Cameron stood up. "Well, I'm gonna go get drunk." He needed it. Jesus, he'd almost lost it all. Everything. No itch was worth that.
"You don't need to worry about Jack," Daniel assured him.
Cameron would wait to believe that until he saw his next performance evaluation.
"Really," Daniel tried again. "He won't give it a thought after tonight." He smiled a mischievous smile at Cameron.
A stab of envy shot through Cameron. It might be kind of nice to have someone like that. Someone to bring cheesecake to. But then Cameron remembered that he really didn't like cheesecake. "All I really wanted was sex," he said honestly to Daniel.
Daniel grinned. "Nothing wrong with that. Just make sure you look in all the corners of the room, first."
Cameron slapped a hand over his face. General O'Neill. Un-fucking-believable. He'd be having nightmares about this for days.
"It'll be fine, Cameron. Trust me. This isn't the first time Jack's watched someone proposition me. It'll blow over. He likes you."
"What happened to the other ones?" Cameron asked apprehensively. Maybe Daniel just thought nothing happened. Maybe, in actuality, they were all in a shallow unmarked grave out behind the mountain.
"The other ones who propositioned me?"
Cameron nodded.
"It depended on how much Jack liked them or not," Daniel said with an evil grin. Then he laughed.
Cameron thought about shooting Daniel.
"Nothing happened to them," Daniel said with a friendly grin. "Jack may be a jealous ass, but he wouldn't send someone away if they were doing a good job. He cares too much for this place."
Cameron hoped his sucky surveillance skills didn't make O'Neill think he wasn't doing a good job.
As if reading his mind, Daniel said, "And don't let his comment about surveillance skills throw you. There was no way you could know that Jack likes to come in here and skulk in the corners of my office."
"He's right. I never should have said anything without making sure the room was secure," Cameron said honestly. He'd gotten lucky. Damn lucky. If O'Neill and Daniel weren't playing hide the sausage with each other, Cameron could be on his way to a dishonorable discharge. Jesus. His heart skipped another beat.
"You saved his life," Daniel said earnestly. "You saved mine. Not just a year ago, but half a dozen times this year. Jack doesn't take that stuff lightly. He knows you were one of the main reasons we successfully fought off the Ori."
Cameron wasn't sure about that. "I seem to remember you having something to do with that," he argued.
Daniel waved a dismissive hand. "We all had something to do with it. All I'm saying is Jack won't hold this against you." He winced. "For too long," he added with an honesty Cameron could have done without.
Cameron groaned.
"Just find somewhere else to be for the week, and it will have all blown over by then," Daniel said helpfully.
Cameron could do that. "Color me gone," he said fervently. He moved to the door.
Daniel held up a hand. "Wait," he said, putting a finger over his lips to show Cameron he wanted him to be quiet. Daniel tiptoed to the door and yanked it open. General O'Neill was standing there, looking suspiciously like he'd had an ear to the door. He straightened up immediately.
Staring superiorly, Daniel raised his eyebrows. "Jack?"
"Daniel," O'Neill said in return, innocently.
"Did you need something?" Daniel asked with a smug smile.
Cameron decided now would be a good time to leave. Maybe Daniel could get to work on the general right away, giving Cameron time to get away from the mountain. He thought about just sneaking out, but decided he couldn't sneak forever. Stiffening his shoulders, he said, "Good night, General, Dr. Jackson."
"Night, Cameron," Daniel said with a grin toward O'Neill.
The general growled at him.
Cameron zipped out the door shutting it behind him. He blew out a breath in disbelief at how close he'd come to blowing it all. Itches were all well and fine, but Cameron would make sure he'd find someplace safer to scratch it.
Shaking out his body, Cameron started reviewing a mental list of safer names. As he walked away, he pretended not to hear the noise of bodies slamming into Daniel's office door and a low groan.
The End.