Chapter Text
After a hard day, you and your boyfriend Dean Winchester decide to get wasted. How strange as it sounds you can hold liquor down better than Dean. Sam went to sleep hours ago but you and Dean got the great idea of playing never have I ever by just the two of you and it developed into confessing things and drinking between confessions. It was cold so Dean had given you his coat earlier to keep you warm
"I confess that have ran around a cornfield naked" you confessed and emptied your glass
"I confess to have at least once tied Sam to a chair to give him a hair cut" Dean said almost falling off his chair
"When?" you asked, hoping it wouldn't be before he was three
"Two weeks ago" he laughed, so did you but not as loudly
"I confess.... I really like doing this. Getting drunk with you" you made the grumpy brother smile- it was a smile but it seemed to have covered something more.
It took a while for him to say anything next as he was gathering courage for his confession. He drank whatever he had left in his glass and took your hand. "I confess that I love you"
"Wait... what?" you asked your boyfriend. Dean slowly drifted off to the clouds. "Dean?" you poked him with your foor. "Dean" you kicked him slightly harder. "DEAN!" you screamed. It didn't woke up Dean but it did get Sam up
"He sleeps like a log. He is not waking up" Sam said and carried him to his brother's bedroom.
'What the Hell Dean? We are just having fun, not the emotional crap. I mean dating is dating but love means that there is actually something to lose. He never says that!' was running on a loop, inside your head
"Are you okay?" Sam took Dean's place across from you
You took the bottle and toasted "I confess that I have no idea what to do anymore" and drank what was left of it
"Don't tell me you are pregnant..." Sam sighed, looking up as he was praying
"Sam, I've been drinking this whole night. I'm not pregnant." you assured him but he wasn't more relieved
"What did that jerk do now?" Sam rolled his eyes
"He just might have said something that took this whole thing we have to a complete different stage" you closed your eyes and stared to think about the future. Little Winchesters running on your porch when Dean came home from work, looking miserable as he did everyday after a long day at the office. Later him and you having a fight because he works all the time and you are staying at home, taking care of the kids and when Sam would come visit, you and him having a great connection Dean would get jealous and eventually you'd drift apart and you'd be left alone with the kids and Sam.
"Did he propose?" Sam raised his brow, jokingly but that's not how you saw it. The way you see that is just one step closer to growing apart
"Even worse, he loves me" you pressed your forehead against your knees, trying to repress the memory of it
"Why is that bad? He finally has found someone who he lets himself be himself around" Sam took your hand and slid his thumb across your fingers, "Dean doesn't say that to everyone, he was taught to keep his feelings hidden, being a man. Not to express them. Now you know that you are all his and that he is not just messing around with you" he comforted you.
All you wanted to say was 'I like the way things were, I like the messing around, and maybe the worst but you like Dean.
"He was pretty drunk when he said it thought" you think that it was because of the booze but Sam did burst your bubble
"I don't think it was the drunk him talking, he admitted it to me last week" Sam was more excited about his brother's confession than you were. It was heartbreaking to watch.
"Want me to carry you to bed, next to your loving boyfriend?" Sam winked at you
"I'm fine, the sun rises soon. I kind of want to see it" you smiled at him.
You knew you weren't going to get any sleep that night. You even went for a walk in the forest. Watching the fireflies and the moonlight hit the little puddles and a pond on your journey, it brought mirrors and reflections on your mind and something your mother used to say "when someone loves you, they see their own soul reflecting in your eyes but as a better one. Unless you love them back, then they see your soul as it really is, it still is better than when you started because love can fix even the most broken ones" - something might have gotten lost in translation but that was the main idea. By the rime sun was rising, you had found an old barn. If it had ever been painted, it had chipped off. The barn smelled horrible, as you walked a little further in, there was a dead woman in the back corner, about your height. You were still shocked from Dean's words, so without realizing how dry and flammable everything around you was, you decided to burn the body. Slowly you took the lighter out of Dean's pocket and on the spur of the moment burned it all to the ground, leaving the lighter and the Winchesters behind