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Ryland didn't think that he and Simon needed their internal body temperatures to be continuously monitored.
He had noticed the lack of internal temperature monitoring, of course, when the eridian scientist team had fitted him with the continuous monitoring systems that they had rigged for him two weeks into his stay on the biodome. The system was very clunky and easy to tangle himself in, at first, mostly consisting of electrode stickers (provided from the hail mary before the science team were able to make their own version). But even then, Ryland noted the lack of internal temperature monitoring. He simply thought it wasn't a big deal- if he noted that he felt strange, he would simply use one of the many thermometers from the Hail Mary's medical bay and lab.
Later, when Simon had joined him on Erid and was fitted with his own, slimmer and easier to use continuous monitoring system, Ryland had still noted the missing internal temperature readings, and he had offhandedly mentioned it to Candy, one of the eridian scientists. She had noted it down, and Ryland had forgotten about it, ultimately.
He curses himself for it now.
It started the way all of their mornings start now. Ryland and Simon sitting at their dining room table, talking about the day ahead and whatever else came up.
…Well, It's usually Ryland talking, and Simon listening and occasionally grunting in response.
But it's nice, for Ryland to feel like he can talk and talk forever and not have someone get annoyed, or tell him to shut up. And Simon had once told him that it was nice, too, to just exist with someone and not be expected to keep coming up with something to say. It's part of the reason why they worked together so well.
"Rocky has me in the lab most of the day," Ryland tells him. "We've got an exiting project going on. We're really hoping to be able to recreate the nutrients in Earth dirt, so the imitation Erid dirt can grow food and crops and produce for us. Do you want to come see the science we're doing?"
Ryland is expecting a 'yes' grunt or a 'no' hum. It takes a good five seconds of silence for him to realize something is wrong.
Ryland turns to put eyes on Simon, watching him for a second. Simon's eyes are turned down. He's looking at the table, glassy and unfocused. He's not moving at all, on purpose- except he's swaying a little bit, like a branch in the wind.
Is he having a PTSD attack? No, he doesn't seem to be stuck in a memory, and Ryland can see him breathing in and out just fine. He seems to be lost in thought, but something tugs in Ryland's gut. Something is wrong.
"Si?" Ryland asks, tilting his head. "Are you okay?"
Simon raises his head, looking at Ryland for a second, narrowing his eyes. He looks… sluggish, like he's running on half speed.
"Sorry," Simon blinks after another five seconds. "Um… What was the question?"
Ryland furrows his brow, approaching Simon very worriedly. Simon's face is red, flushed, and when Ryland notices this, he crosses the room and places both hands on Simon's cheeks, holding him close. His cheeks are warm, his ears are, too, and when Ryland instinctively places the back of his hand on Simon's forehead he almost does a double take.
"Oh, Si," Ryland exclaims. "You're burning up!"
"What?!?" Simon says, suddenly concerned.
"Not literally," Ryland quickly clarifies, "You're just- Your skin is really warm, and you might have a fever. You're sick, Simon."
"Oh," Simon says after a second, relaxing back into Ryland's arms. "Okay. I'm sure I will be fine."
"…Yeah," Ryland says, though he's still really worried. "Let's get you back into bed, okay?"
"No, no-" Simon protests, "I can be productive, I feel fine. I was supposed to meet Adrian by the greenhouse-"
"No, Simon," Ryland responds, "We don't know what sickness you have, and whether or not it's transferable to eridians. Plus, you look bad, my love. You need rest. Come on."
Simon doesn't protest twice, letting Ryland help him stand and get back to the bed. On the way, they pass the Rocky call button, and Ryland discreetly presses it to summon their friend. He's going to have to take time off the lab to help monitor Simon, and Rocky probably needs to know what's going on with Simon's health, to help too.
Ryland lays Simon back into their bed, tucking him under the covers. He sits on the edge of the bed, brushing Simon's hair out of the way and off his face. Simon looks up at him, utterly upset, big brown eyes watering and lip trembling.
"-'m sorry," Simon says, "I'll work extra hard when I get better, promise."
Oh, Ryland thinks. Simon had told him about this- about how he gets anxious when he can't work. His society was built on survival, on rations, on only keeping around a person who is useful. Simon had explained to him that every second he wasn't working was counted, was tallied, was used against him.
He struggled with it through the loss of his arm, he struggled with it when he was having panic attacks, and he still sometimes struggles with it when the eridians just have no work for him to do. He feels better when his mind has a project, has something productive to work on.
"No, my love," Ryland says, "You have a job right now."
"Mm?" Simon says, crinkling his eyebrows in confusion.
"Yeah," Ryland tells his boyfriend, "Your job is to lay here and get better. It's really important, okay?"
He hates framing it like that, like he's reinforcing the idea that Simon has to work to live. But, right now it is helping Simon, helping him not be in distress. Ryland can see it already, how his whole face relaxed when Ryland set him a task, how his shoulders dropped and he took a deep breath in. He can see how relieved Simon is to have it.
Relieved to have something to do, so he's not the first to stave when people get hungry.
Sometimes, Simon gets really angry at Eva Stratt. Ryland understands, to a certain extent, but for a long time, she was the only thing that he had. He can't find it in himself to stay angry at Eva, but that's okay. Simon was there to be angry for him. And Simon feels the same way. He can't be angry at his own past anymore, because it only leads to anger and anxiety festering in him. Simon has to look forwards to his future with Ryland.
That's okay. Because Ryland can be fucking angry for him, too.
"Are you sure?" Simon asks. "That doesn't seem- are you sure?"
His words are slurring, witch worries Ryland. He knows it's probably just whatever sickness is causing the fever that's making him answer slowly like this, but it doesn't help his worries.
"Yes, sunshine," Ryland says. Stay calm, he tells himself. "It is you job to lie as still as you can, so I can heal you up and you can get better."
"Okay, okay," Simon agrees. "I'll be still. Okay."
Before Ryland can answer, he hears Rocky thud three times at the door. He looks at Simon, opening his mouth to tell him don't go anywhere, but Simon has already closed his eyes. Ryland squeezes his hand, once, before he stands up and goes to the door.
"Rocky here!" Rocky says excitedly as soon as Ryland opens the door. "Grace use Rocky button why, question? Rocky coming later anyway, statement, why need Rocky now-"
Ryland shoves Rocky backwards, stepping out of his biodome home.
"Hey!" Rocky says, irritated, "Grace rude, statement."
"Simon is sick," Grace says, and Rocky's whole demeanor changes in an instant. "I'm pretty sure he has a fever-"
"What?" Rocky says, immediate concern lacing through him. "Not know word, fever, explain explain explain!"
"Right, uh, human thing," Ryland says, scrunching his face up, trying to get his brain to work. "When the human body is infected with a sickness or injury, our immune system attempts to kill off the harmful bacteria in our bodies by raising our internal temperature to extreme degrees. We call this phenomenon a fever."
"But how does human immune system not kill off good bacteria and human cultures?" Rocky asks, "How does human body not hurt itself in the process, question?"
"Well…" Ryland swallows around a lump in his throat, "The human body doesn't really differentiate. If we don't monitor the fever and get Simon's internal temperature down-"
"Simon could die?" Rocky asks, his voice rasing into a shout, with a bunch of different whines in the notes of his voice, showing how distressed he is.
"Shhh!" Ryland says, trying to keep his voice down. "We're not there yet. For now, he's just sick, and he's going to get better, but… Well, I don't know what the hell he's sick with, considering he's from a different universe than us, and I don't know if human germs are going to effect erid and eridians and I don't want to expose you to anything that I can't fix or cure. So for now, Simon and I are quarantining, and you need to stay away, and I need to go to the medical bay of the hail mary to get some supplies."
Rocky listens to this, thinks about it for a second, before he looks up at Grace.
"No," Rocky says, "I'll go get supplies, and I'll quarantine with you in the biodome."
"We don't know what this is," Ryland says. "You could get sick."
"You could get sick, Grace, statement," Rocky argues. "And if you get fever and die, I want to be by your side."
Oh, Ryland thinks, and how many times is he going to want to fight societies today?
"I'm not going to get sick, Rocky," Ryland tries to reassure him.
"Good!" Rocky chirps. "I don't get sick either, statement! Simon get better. Tell me what supplies you need."
And, well, that was that.
-x-
"Rocky back with supplies!" Rocky announces as he enters the biodome. "And Adrian!"
"Hello, savior Grace!" Adrian cheerfully greets him. "Came to quarantine!"
"Rocky," Ryland complains, "I agreed that you could come, but-"
"Rocky explain risk," Rocky tells him, "Rocky tell Adrian, could get sick. Adrian insist."
"Rocky do something stupid, again," Adrian's tone turns argumentive, "Grace attempt to go it alone again. Simon in trouble again. Family be stupid again, Adrian come with. Adrian support. Adrian here now, already in quarantine zone. Human phrase, Deal with it."
Ryland finds himself laughing. He laughs for a good few seconds, before he starts to devolve into tears. Rocky and Adrian notice at the exact same time, both making little alarmed sounds, moving closer to their friend in tandem.
He's so scared, so so scared. If he can't figure out this thing with Simon- well, Simon is relying on him right now. And Ryland thought he was going to have to, as Adrian said, go it alone. And here Rocky is, here Adrian is, proving that he's not. He's not alone. He has help, friends who can step in and support him when he needs it, when Simon needs it.
He's so lucky.
"Leaky, leaky, Grace," Rocky says, making disgusted-fond noises at him, gently ribbing him. "Leaky space blob always cry, Grace so dramatic, so easy leak-"
"Hush," Adrian tells Rocky, a bunch of shushing noises under the clunky translation. "Come here, Savior Grace, It okay, we're going to be okay."
Ryland steps forwards into Adrian's embrace. They're warm, almost bordering on hot, but the thin zenonite layer separating them- thinner than it's ever been, more like fabric than zenonite, no sharp corners- makes it so Grace isn't burned by their skin, and they don't get the burned by how cold his air needs to be for Ryland to live.
Adrian is warm in the hug, and Rocky is warm when he comes up and presses his body up against the back of Ryland, caging him in.
It's so nice, to know he's not alone anymore.
"Guh, okay," Ryland says after a second, wiping his tears off of his face. "No more leaky space blob, it's time to run some tests and see if we can identify the illness that's causing the fever."
Rocky and Adrian follow him into his biodome house, Adrian having to duck to get through the door, but thankfully, the ceiling was high enough that they don't have to duck the whole time. They both sit in the hallway, getting set up with the portable lab they had taken from the Hail Mary's med bay.
The first thing Ryland does is take one of the thermometers, the kind you can press to someone's forehead, instead of having them put it under tongue, approaching Simon who's still in the bed.
"Hey, sunshine," Ryland murmurs. "Are you awake?"
"Mm," Simon grunts, his eyes opening wide all at once, trying to move to sit up. "-'m up, I'm up…"
"No, it's okay, my love," Ryland reassures, "Lay back, Si, come on, lay back in the bed. It's okay, shhh. You don't need to be up right now."
Simon closes his eyes again, relaxing back into the bed.
"I'm just going to check your temperature, okay?" Ryland tells him, holding up the device to his forehead. "Just stay still for a second."
102.5, Ryland notes. It's a high fever- high enough to be concerning. Ryland notes the sweat that Simon's broken out, but now, Simon seems to be shivering, just a little bit.
"Is it bad?" Simon asks, "You're frowning."
"No," Ryland says immediately, "You're okay."
"I…" Simon trails off for a second. "I feel bad."
Simon says that like it's a revelation, like he just noticed how unwell he is. If he's admitting to having something bothering him out loud, something he is not quick to do, It's really bothering him. Ryland finds himself wishing he could just take all of the bad feelings from his beloved and suffer it for him. He wishes nothing bad ever has to happen to Simon again, wishes he could prevent the bad entirely.
"Okay, my love," Ryland says, using one hand to hold Simon's face, "Rocky and Adrian are here, and we're going to figure it all out, and I'm going to make you feel better, okay?"
"Mhm," Simon agrees. "Okay, Angel."
He closes his eyes, leaning into Ryland's hand with his head. Trusting Ryland with everything he has, and Ryland has to swallow hard around the lump forming at the base of his throat.
"I gotta bother you for one more thing before you go back to sleep, baby," He says, guiltily. "I need a swab from your nose and a swab from your mouth to run in my fancy machines, okay?"
"Ughhh," Simon groans.
"I know, I know," Ryland says. "I know you hate it when I poke and prod you, but I gotta, okay?"
"I don't always hate it," Simon grumbles, "I only hate it when you're doing it for serious."
Ryland feels his face heat up at the reminder of some of their more… adventurous sex experiments, lets call them, and he knows that Rocky is in the other room and listening to this conversation and is surely going to ask about it, because he's a lovable prick. Ryland can't wait for that conversation (sarcasm, he hopes rocky never brings it up).
"I know, baby," Ryland says again, snapping on some latex blue gloves and grabbing one of the swabs he had brought. "Say Ahh."
Simon pouts (the way he always pouts when he's drunk, inhibitions lowered significantly) for a second longer before he opens his mouth, tilting his head back some to give Ryland better access without needing to be asked.
Ryland takes the swab, putting it into the test tube he'd brought with him. He then opens his other swab.
"Here's the worse one," Ryland warns, "But after this I'll stop bothering you."
"I never want you to stop bothering me," Simon says, and it would be cute if it didn't worry Ryland so much that he seems to be speaking out loud without realizing it.
Ryland gently tilts Simon's head back with a hand under his chin, and Simon squeezes his eyes shut tightly as Ryland swabs the inside of his nostrils. Two tears stream down Simon's face, and Grace tamps down on the urge to burn the building down.
Simon sniffles, wiping the tears away.
"Sorry," Simon says, "Watery eyes."
Ryland places the test tubes containing the swabs down, putting both of his hands on Simon's face, swiping his thumbs over Simon's cheeks.
"I'm sorry," Simon says again. "I'm sorry that I'm sick."
"It's not your fault," Ryland tells him, "You haven't done anything wrong."
Simon's eyebrows crinkle and he frowns. "But…"
"No," Ryland says, "No buts, my love. You haven't done anything bad."
Simon blinks, slowly, before looking up at Ryland with such open adoration.
"Okay," Simon says, "Okay, ry."
Simon closes his eyes again, and Ryland decides that he's going to let Simon rest for now. He sets a timer for an hour on his watch, because he needs to keep making sure Simon is getting water and electrolytes in his system. But for now, he'll let Simon rest.
As he leaves the room, he has an incredibly strong urge to cry, but he tries to ignore it for now. He doesn't want to alarm Rocky or Adrian, and he doesn't want them to alarm Simon with their panic.
"Okay," Ryland tells them in low tones (because they can hear him anyways), "We're starting at a 102.5 degree fever, fahrenheit. That's quite high. We need to get it down to 99.9 fahrenheit or less before he'll be considered normal again."
"Oh," Adrian says, a little surprised. "I'm sorry, I forgot how… what human's normal body temperature is."
"Very cold to you, I must imagine," Ryland smiles, trying to stay calm. "But 99.9 is the high end of what is considered normal. Anything 100F and over is usually considered a fever."
"Right," Adrian dips their head to imitate a human nod. "Understand."
"So we make ice?" Rocky asks. "Cold bath, question?"
"We might do that," Ryland nods, "But I don't want to send his system into shock. And I'd rather know what is causing the fever, the underlying illness, before we decide the next corse of action."
"So…" Rocky says, "What now?"
Ryland holds up the two glass test tubes, each one containing a swab.
"Now we take these samples, and I run every test in the book of man," Ryland says, "And we hope I'm not discovering anything new."
Fifteen minutes later, the portable lab computer dings, and Ryland opens the first round of results. He has like, thirty rounds of results to go through, so he's gotta start sooner rather than later, even if he's dreading it-
Influenza A- Positive.
"Oh," Ryland says, "He's got the flu."
Part of Ryland relaxes significantly. Knowing his luck, Ryland was somehow expecting Simon to have come down with some foreign alien sickness, one he'd have no clue how to solve or what to do with. The flu is something very familiar to him- both as a biologist, and as a teacher.
He's had the Flu many times. He's survived all of those different times. It's going to be okay.
"What?" Rocky says, "What flu?"
"He's got something we call Influenza," Ryland explains. "Or, well, we often shorten it to the flu, and it's a common illness back on earth."
Rocky thinks about it for a second, carefully choosing his words.
"Flu… bad illness?" Rocky asks, and even the translator program pitches the words up, giving the impression that Rocky is desperately not trying to worry or anger Ryland.
"The good news is that I know the flu, studied it in school," Ryland says, "And I know how to treat it."
The bad news, Ryland thinks but does not say, Is that I've had the Flu shot, and I have no clue if that's common in Simon's universe. And un-treated, the Flu can be deadly.
"Okay," Rocky says, "We treat."
-x-
It seems cliche, but chicken noodle soup is fairly easy to make with what they have on erid, so Ryland is making Simon some classic get well soup.
Well, it's imitation get-well soup, but that's good enough for now.
Simon sits at the table, blowing on the soup to cool it. He's still moving slow, Grace notes, possibly some muscle weakness or soreness. He's sniffling, and he's under a blanket, shivering. He's still got a fever, a few hours later, still lingering around 102F. Ryland watches, studies, trying his best not to miss anything.
"I have to ask you something about Eden," Ryland tells him. "I'm sorry."
Ryland talks a lot about Earth. It helps with the homesickness, sometimes, to get his memories out of his head and into the open air. He talks about earth a lot to Rocky, who is endlessly fascinated, but he sometimes talks about earth with Simon, too.
Simon does not talk about Eden.
Simon doesn't miss Eden like Ryland misses Earth. They both were mistreated earlier in their lives, but where Grace can overlook what Eva and Earth did to him for the good memories, the bad is extrinsically tied to Eden for Simon.
It's not like the subject is banned, or anything. It's not like Simon gets violent, when it gets brought up either. It's just that it's kind of touchy, and that it tends to make Simon sad for the rest of the day. And Ryland really doesn't like to make Simon sad, if he can help it.
"It's okay," Simon says, sniffling a little bit. "You can ask."
"Did…" Ryland takes a deep breath out. "Did Eden give you any vaccinations? Do you remember having any shots?"
Simon pauses, looking up at Ryland.
"Yes," Simon says, "We had vaccines."
"And did you have an Influenza Vaccine?" Ryland asks, dreading the answer.
"The flu shot?" Simon says, "Yeah, I've had it. It's probably not as strong as whatever you've got, considering we rationed practically everything and I probably got the watered down version, but yeah, I've had a version of the flu shot."
"Oh," Ryland says, and he deflates a little. "Oh, that's good."
Ryland feels himself relax just a bit, breathing out and melting a little. Maybe this won't be as hard as Ryland thinks. Maybe it will be okay. Maybe Simon won't die and leave him alone just yet. Maybe he'll be lucky. Maybe. For once.
"Oh," Simon says, and Ryland's head snaps up. Simon reaches across the table brushing his knuckles up against Ryland's face. "Oh, You thought that I was…"
Going to die, Simon does not say, but Ryland hears it anyways.
"I'm okay," Simon tries to reassure him. "I'm- We're going to be okay."
Ryland huffs. "I'm supposed to be taking care of you, yknow."
"And you are," Simon says, gesturing to the bowl of food in front of him. "But you're in distress. I gotta take care of you, too."
Simon laces his hand together with one of Ryland's. Ryland folds himself in half, resting his head on the cool table in front of him. In a minute, he'll sit up again properly and be strong for Simon. But for a just a second, he lets himself melt into a puddle.
-x-
The third night of Simon's fever is the worst of it.
It's bad. It gets to a point where Simon is sat in front of the toilet, and he can't move away from it. Ryland had started him on an IV because at this point, he was so worried about Simon and the amount of fluids he's losing.
It doesn't matter. Ryland knows that it's helping, he knows that he's doing everything he can, but it doesn't matter. Every time Simon is crying and heaving, Ryland just feels awful. He hates how much agony Simon is in.
It's even worse that Simon knows how clearly miserable Ryland is.
"Breathe, my love, breathe," Ryland says, between Simon's heaving gags. "You've got to keep breathing, come on, holding your breath is making it worse…"
Simon squeezes one of Ryland's hands. Ryland's other hand is carding through Simon's hair, keeping it out of his face as he throws up.
"I'm so sorry," Simon cries, "I'm sorry…"
Ryland prays.
He hasn't prayed in so long. He can't remember if he was a religious man before the hail mary, as it's one of the questions on the 'Who am I?' board he never got an answer to. But in his fear, several prayers come to the front of his brain easily. And yet, he's sure that he's doing it wrong somehow.
Simon's fever breaks the next morning.
Ryland and Simon stay in bed all day, even though the worst is probably passed now. They rest.
Some of the "resting" is inspired by Ryland's melancholy, though. Now that the storm has passed, Ryland can finally admit to himself how fucking terrifying this whole thing was. There were several moments, there, where Ryland thought, in a tiny, anxious voice in the back of his head, that Simon might pass away.
Where Ryland thought the love of his life might leave him.
Does Simon know how much Ryland needs him? Does he understand the depth of Ryland's love for him? Does Simon know how Ryland feels like their souls are linked together, hearts beating in sync, and how every time Ryland thinks of the end of his life, he imagines Simon there, just as old as him, holding his hand?
"Hey," Simon says, his thumb brushing Ryland's forehead as they lay next to one another. "Tell me something true."
Ryland doesn't say anything for a second, just looking at Simon for a second and trying to memorize this moment in it's entirety. Trying to Simon like this for forever in his own head and memory.
"I love you," Ryland responds, "So much that it scares me, sometimes."
Simon snorts.
"I know," Simon says, "I think a blind man could see that."
Despite himself, Ryland smiles, laughing at himself.
"Yeah, yeah," Ryland says, "Laugh it up."
"But it's okay," Simon says, brushing Ryland's bangs into place gently. "I love you, too, and I think that I'd probably be way worse if something happened to you."
"God," Ryland says, "You can just read my mind, can't you?"
Simon's smile grows wider and wider for a few seconds, until he's grinning.
"You're not exactly subtle, angel," Simon says, "You've never been good at hiding things from me."
"Wha-" Ryland exclaims, "I have secrets!"
Simon gives him a skeptical look, and all Ryland can do is laugh and continue to act offended.
After all, he couldn't exactly tell Simon about the ring he has hidden in one of the drawers in the lab, or the in-progress speech he's going to give when he proposes. He can't tell Simon that he's already got working theories on how he's going to plan their wedding, or the paper flowers he's learning how to make, so he could present Simon with a proper bouquet of flowers. It would ruin the secret.
Ryland's open secret, of wanting to spend the rest of time and eternity with his love.