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"I'm sorry Dan, I can't do this anymore. It's too much. I'm sure you'll be fine without me tho! You've done this before. And then you can just tell me about all the fun things when you eventually come back, okay?"
Dan was in utter disbelief. Seriously? He'd thought things had been going well! They were having the most fun they'd ever had on this tour. The freedom of no longer having anything to hide was the best feeling in the world. They'd planned this for months, been excited to no end, and nothing about Phil had even given off the slightest hint that he didn't want to do this. And now he was just leaving?! What went wrong?
"Phil, I don't understand!" Dan pleaded, eyes watering. "Did something happen? Did I do something? Did the fans do something? Talk to me!" But Phil was already fading away into the background, disappearing into the darkness, bit by bit. "I believe in you Danny. I will see you again soon, okay? Have fun without me. Promise?"
Dan took multiple steps forward, emotions pressing heavy onto his heart, his throat tight. "Phil no! Come back! Don't leave me! I will do literally anything to make you stay! Come on!"
But Phil was already gone, leaving Dan alone in the darkness. The only light coming from one singular stage light, following his every step as he desperately called out for his partner, hoping he'd reappear. Though he received no response. Dan merely fell to his knees on the ground , feeling cold, like half his soul had been taken away. There was nothing left around him. Just the stage light and the cold, hard floor of the theater.
Actually, what?
The theater? A stage light?
Dan distinctly remembered that he'd fallen asleep in his bunk just a few hours ago, after exchanging a soft goodnight kiss with Phil and telling their crew goodnight as well.
Actually, the theater didn't even look like a theater upon further inspection. More like a literal room of nothingness. He couldn't even see the stage light. Just the cone of light he was trapped in. And he also couldn't see any doors or any fog Phil could've disappeared to without literally fading out of existence.
Just like that. Nothing made sense anymore. And just like that, Dan opened his eyes.
His heart was still pounding when he blinked awake, coming face to face with the ceiling of his tour bus bunk. It was dark and quiet. Not a single noise other than occasional rustling from who he knew to be the other people on the bus with them. It was likely still nighttime with everyone dead asleep. And yet somehow, something in the air just felt.. Wrong. Out of place. Not quite right. The feeling was hard to describe.
Dan reached for his water bottle and then realized with a deep sigh that he must've forgotten it in the lounge last night before bed. His throat was uncomfortably dry, and so he resigned himself to carefully and very quietly open his curtain and climb out of the bunk in search of some hydration.
When his feet hit the ground, he took a moment to look around and adjust as to not accidentally move too fast and potentially pass out and wake everyone up. The bus was rumbling under him, they must be on the road. Dan hoped their bus driver wasn't too tired and had at least taken a little while to rest while he'd been asleep.
As he turned to look at the other bunks, his eyes fell right on Phil's and the emotions from what he'd now realized had clearly been a dumb dream came flooding right back. He shook his head quickly and told his brain to not be silly. There was no way Phil would just quit the tour like he did in his dream. They were having way too much fun and Phil was thriving in the post-HL era of not having to hide from the world. Plus, they loved touring. It was their favorite thing. And getting to do their favorite thing together like this, free, not having to worry about anything, was something neither of them would trade for the world.
Still… Something just felt.. Wrong right now in that moment.
"Well." Dan whispered to himself with a deep sigh. "'Ts not like he hasn't woken me up at night on multiple occasions over the past couple of days. He'll be fine." And maybe he'd even be up for a little midnight snack and lounge cuddles. Dan did feel slightly startled by his dream still.
"Philly." He hummed quietly, slowly pulling the curtain open, expecting his sleepy partner.
…Just to find an empty bunk.
What.
Dan immediately pulled the curtain all the way back, but Phil still wasn't there. And when he touched the mattress, it was cold like he hadn't been there for a good while.
Alright Dan. Do not panic. Maybe he's on the toilet?
Except the toilet wasn't locked, the light in it not on, and Phil nowhere to be seen. Now, Dan started to grow uneasy.
The lounge?
Dan made his way to the lounge, but Phil wasn't there either.
What the fuck.
It seemed like he'd been moving quite loudly and restless, because he heard people shift in their bunks. Shit, he didn't mean to wake anyone up. Maybe Phil was in another bunk? But that shouldn't be spatially possible, they didn't have any empty bunks this time around! So where the fuck—
"Dan?" Dan briefly snapped out of his panic and came face to face with a concerned and sleepy-looking Leila who looked like she'd fallen straight out of bed, which, really, she might've done with him moving around so much. He inhaled deeply, realizing he hadn't breathed in probably way too long. "What's wrong?" Leila whispered, taking a step closer. Dan's eyes drifted over to the bunks again. "Phil's not in his bed. And not in the bathroom. And not in the lounge." He whispered right back. Leila's eyes widened and she immediately seemed way more awake. "Huh?!" She asked, louder this time. Dan flinched when he saw more of the curtains moving and Emilia's head poking out of her own bunk. Of course they'd wake the others up.
"Alright there's no need to panic." Leila continued, now whispering again. "I'll see if the other's have seen him, you go talk to our driver. He can't have just evaporated now can he?!"
Could he, tho? Like in Dan's stupid dream?
Actually, he really shouldn't be thinking about the dream right now. He needed to locate real life Phil. And so he nodded and rushed towards the front of the bus while leaving the rest to their producer.
Their bus driver seemed awake enough, quietly humming along to a song playing on the lowest volume on his radio, though he immediately paused the song when he saw Dan's distressed figure approaching. "Daniel?" He asked. "Everything okay?" Dan could feel his hands shaking. "Phil's not in his bunk. And not anywhere else. I think? It's like he fucking disappeared!"
Their bus driver immediately turned the wheel and drove to the side of the road, turning on the lights. "Like actually? Where could he have gone? It's not like this bus is that confusing anyway!"
"Dan? …We might've gotten an idea of what happened." Emilia. Dan whipped his head around to face her, she handed him a phone. A phone opened on the tour group chat. Dan's eyes flew across the messages and he felt himself pale at the contents.
Oh fuck.
Phil: Guys?
Phil: Where the bus?
Phil: I swear to god it was just here
Phil: Hello?
Phil: Not funny where tf r u
Phil: Is anyone awake???
Phil: Hello?????
Phil: Dan?
Phil: Anyone??
Phil: Dan please wake tf up and answer ur phone
Phil: Or anyone really
Phil: Omg.
Dan immediately shoved the phone back into Emilia's hands and ran (as much as the limited space allowed) towards his own bunk, nearly knocking everyone over in the process and digging through his sheets for his phone.
27 missed calls (Phil Lester)
Oh god.
Dan hit the call button, hoping that Phil's phone was active and not out of battery yet. And thankfully, after not even two seconds, Phil picked up.
"Phil?!"
"Dan! Well good morning to you."
"Phil what the fuck happened? Are you okay?! Where are you?!"
"Where are you guys?! I'm at the Buc-ee's we stopped at. You're the ones who are nowhere to be found."
Dan slowly looked up at their crew members, but all of them looked as surprised as he himself felt.
"…Phil we are in the middle of nowhere on the street. How are you at a Buc-ee's?"
"You are where now? I thought we stopped for the night and I was gonna use the restroom. And then when I got back out you were gone. Did you just keep driving without me?"
Now everyone looked equally horrified. Everyone except for their driver who had since joined them. And while he did look horrified, he also looked like he knew what was going on.
"So…" Dan asked. Their driver cleared his throat, looking pale and guilty. "I did briefly stop at a Buc-ee's about half an hour ago. Needed to take a moment to catch some fresh air and drink a coffee. I must've not realized Philip left the bus. I just.. Kept driving when I felt awake enough again. I assumed everyone was asleep so I didn't check if you're still all here."
Okay so that was a first. Never in their entire careers on none of their tours had something like this happened. Dan slowly brought his phone back up to his ear.
"Okay so- Don't panic. But you might've been left behind."
"Okay so that at least means I'm not going insane not seeing the tour bus anywhere?"
"You are taking this remarkably well."
"I'm too tired to panic."
Still, Dan could hear it, the slight shakiness in Phil's voice. He felt awful.
"Stay right where you are babe. We're turning right around and getting you." Phil snorted amused, though it didn't sound as genuine as it was probably supposed to.
"Got it. Well, it's not like I can really go anywhere anyway. Not a whole lot of anythin' out here, really. …Stay on the line?"
"Of course." Dan responded, sitting down on one of the sofas after confirming with the driver that he'd turn around to collect Phil instantly.
Thankfully, they hadn't driven too long, so it only took about 15 minutes to get back to the Buc-ee's in question. Dan stayed on the line until the bus was parked and then all but jumped outside, immediately spotting Phil who was sitting on the steps in front of the store, hugging his legs close to his chest, immediately unpretzeling himself and waving at Dan. "Over here!"
Dan barely looked at his surroundings as he sprinted across the parking lot, it wasn't like there were many cars here at all, as it was roughly four AM. He didn't give a shit about anything at that moment anyway, not hesitating a single second to scoop Phil into his arms in a hug. Screw everything, he could do that now.
"Hi." Dan said quietly, burying his face in Phil's neck. Phil hugged him back. "Can't believe you just left me. Some boyfriend you are." Dan snorted. Now that Phil was safe, he could actually stop having a panic reaction and see the humor in the situation. "I wasn't the one who forgot to check if everyone was there you twat." Phil giggled. "Still! Aren't we meant to be soul-bonded or whatever? You're meant to know where I am at all times! Unacceptable." Dan squeezed him more tightly. "Oh fuck off. I was asleep. How was I meant to realize?"
Phil was still here.
After a few more minutes, the two men untangled themselves from each other's hold and got up, walking back to the tour bus. Dan held onto Phil's hand extra tightly, just to make sure he wasn't gonna get left behind again.
Their driver apologized profusely, over and over again. Only after Phil had told him for the third time that it was really okay and stuff like that happens did he stop. Everyone else apologized as well, even though they all had been asleep and didn't notice a thing. The adrenaline only slowly started leaving everyone when they were all safely back in the bus and had double and triple checked that they were complete. One by one, people crawled back into their bunks and the bus started moving again. Though Dan and Phil chose to stay seated in the lounge for a while longer, now both very much awake.
"It's honestly impressive that we lasted this long on various tours without any major incidents of this kind happening to us!" Phil said eventually. He was curled up against Dan's side, the two of them sharing a fluffy blanket and some sweets. Dan groaned and hid in Phil's shoulder. "Could've gone without it, to be honest. That was briefly very fucking scary." He'd said his last words quietly, but Phil heard them anyway, because of course he did, and of course that led to a bright grin settling on his face. "Awwww! You were worried for me? Stawp it." He said all overly sweet and flowery, the smile making it very clear that he was exactly where he wanted to be.
Dan headbutted him gently. "Don't fucking laugh, knowing you this could've led to an international incident of an influencer disappearance! And all the investigation agencies in the world would have to come together to find you." Phil kept laughing quietly and pulled him into his arms. "Well. Good thing you saw my messages in time then. Actually, that'll be such a funny podcast opener tho. Just imagine the title… 'We accidentally lost Phil at the gas station'. Ten out of ten, would click." Dan shook his head in disbelief. This guy.
It was in that moment where he was once again reminded of the dream he had, and he realized the strange feeling of something being slightly wrong about the universe that had engulfed him earlier after waking up was now fully gone. Like everything was back in place.
"Actually." Dan started, looking at Phil. Phil hummed and blinked at him with his pretty blue eyes. "Hm?" Dan leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling. "I think I did notice. Somehow." Phil sat up bringing himself into a position where he could hover above Dan and look right at his face. "Like- actually?" Dan nodded and reached his hand up, poking Phil's nose. "Yea. Had a dream just before, that you left the tour. Immediately woke me up and it felt like something was fundamentally wrong with the world. I check your bunk, you're gone." Phil seemed delighted at the new information.
"…So it's like the universe was telling you I wasn't there anymore? I left your vicinity and it tipped your world off its axis?" Dan wanted to protest, wanted to say that it might've just been a funny coincidence, but Phil looked way too happy with his version of the information and Dan would literally do just about anything to keep that smile on his face at all times.
"Probably." He responded instead. "Wouldn't be the first time we're confronted with whatever insane cosmic connection we got." Phil pecked his lips and then plopped down on his chest. "Well, I love our freaky cosmic connection! I hope it stays that way forever. And I also hope you know I'd never leave this tour. This is our celebratory project and there's no way we won't do everything together."
Of course Dan knew that, and he couldn't be happier about it. Though that couldn't stop him from clinging onto Phil tightly. Phil just laughed. "What'cha doing Danny?" Dan pressed a kiss into his hair. "Making sure you can't run off and get stuck at another gas station? Or at least making sure that if you do leave to get stuck at another gas station, you have to take me with you so we're stuck together."
Phil lifted his head and raised an eyebrow. "And then we forever live at a Buc-ee's gas station in the middle of nowhere?" Dan nodded. "Mhm. And we'll perform the Hard Launch Tour with no set and no props for all the 50 year old straight trucker bros and the families on road trips who make the mistake of choosing that particular Buc-ee's as a rest station." Phil grinned, amused. "Sounds fun. Let's do it. Spreading the phagenda to everyone who hasn't heard of us yet."
Anything could sound fun if they were doing it together.
"Shouldn't we be getting back to sleep?" Phil asked after a while. "We've got a show tomorrow evening." Dan closed his eyes and rolled over on his side, trapping Phil between his body and the backrest of the sofa. "Five more minutes."
And if 'five more minutes' turned into ten, and ten into thirty, and thirty into an hour, and an hour into multiple hours, then no one had to know that. Well, almost no one. Except for Emilia who found them asleep and cuddled up in the lounge the following morning and immediately took a picture to send to Leila.
"Next time we are absolutely sacrificing some lounge space to get them a double bed. This is ridiculous."