Work Text:
I stood on the balcony outside my room, leaning against the rails and feeling the wind on my face. The city lights were visible even with my eyes closed, it was somewhat comforting, made me feel like I wasn't as alone as I was. Caleb had yet to come over and I was simply waiting for him to arrive. He didn't live with me, but with how often he came over and crashed after work he might as well have moved his things into the spare room. He didn't like to be alone, and more than anything he needed to see I was ok as often as he could. I didn't mind him being so protective, it was nice to know I was safe with him around. Others had tried to tell me how weird our relationship was but that was only because we grew up in the same house hold, and him being so possessive was "not normal" for a brother. I shrugged all those comments off, he wasn't my brother, not anymore, never really was in the first place.
As if my thoughts alone could summon him (oh man would that be useful) I heard his key in the front door and heard it creak open. I stayed where I was, the cool weather was nice and he would come find me eventually. I slowly opened my eyes and gazed out on the vast city in front of me, letting a sigh escape my lips. I would never get tired of this feeling. It gave me a peace I couldn't describe. Beyond the doors of my room I heard Caleb shuffling around as he kicked off his boots, put his travel bag down, hung up his jacket. I could see it clearly in my head, having seen it about a million times before. And just as always, he started checking every room in the apartment for me. for whatever reason my room was always the last one he checked, starting with the living room, kitchen, bathroom, then the spare room, then mine. After he came up empty handed in each of the other rooms in my apartment he finally came knocking on my door. "Pips? You home?"
I turned around, my back pressed against the balcony railing. "Come in," I shouted from the outside into the room. He slowly opened the door, looking at my bed first, then his eyes drifted to all the corners of the room before finally landing on me, a small smile appearing when he finally found me. I smiled back, holding my hand out to him, beckoning him over to me. He gladly accepts the invitation quickly walking over and taking my hand in one of his. his other hand went to the back of my head as he kissed my forehead. he stroked my hair and pulled away slightly a confused look on his face. "What?"
He wasn't looking at my face, "Your hair is getting so long." I laughed lightly as he pulled my hair around my shoulder. "I'm serious, look at this!" He ran his fingers through my dark brown strands of hair.
"Your lucky I just brushed it otherwise your fingers would get stuck." I rolled my eyes, pulling my hair out of his grip and turning back to the city, returning to my position before, looking over the city.
"I would just brush it out for you," He said as he copied my position next to me, leaning on the rails. his arm pressed into mine and the casual touch was enough to make my cheeks pink. I tilted my head to rest on his shoulder and sighed with contentment as I closed my eyes again. We stood like that for what felt like forever, I wouldn't mind if it was forever. "How long are you gonna be up for, baby?"
I opened my eyes, He was looking down at me, no stress or worry in his gaze, just genuine curiosity. "Not sure, I think I'm gonna be up for a while, I tried to sleep but it didn't work." He nodded knowingly before digging into his pocket. "What are you doing?"
He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, a brand I recognized, it was one of the cheapest options the liquor store had to offer.
"You smoke?" I asked as he put one of the cigarettes between his lips, handing me one.
"No," He responded, slightly muffled as he lit it with a lighter he pulled out of the same pocket, "one of my coworkers thought I did and gifted me a pack." He smiled to himself as he handed me the lighter.
"No offence but you don't seem the type," I mumbled as I lit my own cigarette. As he took a deep breath he immediately started coughing. I laughed, "definitely not the type." I took a slow drag of my cigarette and breathed out effortlessly, relaxing into the rails as I held it up between my two fingers.
"You seem like a pro already," He said as he watched the smoke disappear into the night air.
I breathed out a laugh, "Yha, well I have more experience."
"What?" he sounded surprised. Shit.
"Come on," I said, punching his shoulder to try to lighten the mood, "I'm a grown ass woman, of course I've smoked before..."
"Was it just once or multiple times?" He cut me off. He was standing up straight now, concern painted on his face. I turned my face away. "When?"
"It's not important," I said, mainly to myself.
"When?" I didn't answer. He called my name, putting a hand on my shoulder. I pulled away and turned to him.
"It was while you were gone, ok? Why do you care so much?" I said, a little too loud. He looked a little hurt.
"I always care about you, you should know that at this point," He spoke slowly and quietly, trying to de escalate the conversation. "You know how bad that is right?"
"Yha..." I mumbled to myself, crossing my arms and avoiding eye contact. "Zayne has already given me an earful about the whole thing." I sat on one the small couch against the wall, leaning back and staring into the distance.
"Zayne?" He asked, he was getting more confused by the minute. He sat next to me.
"Yha, I didn't really have anyone else so..." I said in a low tone as I raised the cigarette back to my mouth.
"Pipsqueak you gotta start explaining things," he said, he wasn't mad, he was worried, and I hated when he worried.
"What is there to explain?" I asked, turning to him slightly, looking at him from the corner of my eye.
"Why would you start smoking? And why did Zayne, your doctor, have to get involved?" He asked, leaning towards me in his seat. I looked to my lap, not sure where to start.
"I was going through a lot..." I started. It seemed kind of obvious, of course he knew I was going through a lot, but then again he wasn't there. "All I knew was that you and grandma were... gone. I was lost. And I was on my own completely for the first time in forever, or at least that's what it felt like. And because I didn't think anyone still cared, I feel into a lot... a lot of bad habits." It hurt to say, It probably hurt him to hear, but he wanted to know and I needed to get it out anyway. "Zayne came to check on me one night and... found me in quite the state." I refused to look at Caleb but I could feel his intense gaze on me. I had to take another drag to calm myself. But as I started to breath in the comforting smoke the cigarette was out of my hand. I looked up and saw him holding the cigarette, standing over me. he then walked over to the edge of the balcony and tossed it off. He watched it fall for a moment, running a hand through his hair. I only then put together the fact that I had just, without thinking, returned to the bad habit he was scolding me for partaking in. I immediately turned my face away, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them. I sighed, coughing lightly as I did. I tried to muffle it but of course he probably still heard. "He got me to stop those bad habits, I was still getting over some of them when you came back, and once you did I was able to fully stop."
I was so embarrassed all I could do was close my eyes and wait for Caleb to start scolding me. But he didn't. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder and opened my eyes slowly. "Pipsqueak, look at me." I did, slowly turning my head to face him. He was kneeling at my side, and there was no anger in his eyes, only worry. damn it. "Promise you wont let me let you take part in any of those habits again."
"You didn't know, it not your fault."
"Then promise me you'll tell me about stuff like this, please," His grip on my shoulder tightens. I put my own hand over his and looked him dead in the eyes. his grip loosened slightly.
"I will," I said, barely above a whisper. "And I'm sorry you had to find out like this," I looked to the floor. his hand left my shoulder and went to the top of my head, ruffling my hair.
"I forgive you pipsqueak," He said, sitting back down next to me, laughing lightly to himself. He was trying to lighten the mood, I could tell.
"What's so funny?"
"Can you imagine what Gran would have to say about this?"
I laughed, "Oh I can hear it now, 'Have I not warned you enough? You're going to get cancer!"
He laughed even louder, "your right, 'I cant believe this, where did I go wrong, no more video games till further notice."
"No! Grandma please!" We laughed. Caleb always had a way of bringing me out of a bad mood.
We chatted the night away. we talked about everything, how our weeks went, my job, reminiscing on old times. At some point we stopped talking though, just enjoying the night air and the fact that we were together. I didn't even notice that my eyes had fallen closed until I felt his arms around me. I hummed with confusion as he lifted me from the chair.
"It's alright, I got you, just sleep," He whispered as he carried me inside. I leaned into him, letting my body go limp as he set me down in my bed, pulling the covers over me. He left for a moment but only to grab my favorite stuffed animal before handing it to me. I immediately grabbed onto it like a koala on a tree branch as he settled behind me on top of the blanket with an arm over my waist. He nuzzled his face into the back of my neck as he hugged me the same way I was hugging the stuffed animal. "Night pips," he mumbled before I felt him go limp behind me, I followed shortly/