Work Text:
Liuyi has been feeling like shit for the last few days. He still couldn't eat or sleep properly. The cold bed in his village house felt too empty. He knew there was nothing to do in this case. A'San found it difficult to be with him as he was hiding so much from him. He understood everything but still couldn't get over it. How could A’San just ask him to leave while he was going crazy when he woke up and couldn't find A'San that day back in Thailand? He told himself that he just needed to avenge Xiao Man and Qinglong as soon as possible and get back to A'San. He would just have to explain everything in detail to him, and he would be allowed back in A'San's life. But at the same time, he couldn't shake off the fear that A'San would leave him for real. What if he never hears him out after this, or worse, what if he hears him and decides that he doesn't want to be with Liuyi? What if he finds someone else? Someone much better than Liuyi who wouldn't keep getting hurt and, in turn, hurting A'San? How would he live then? He closed his eyes forcefully and tried to get some rest. Tomorrow, he has to meet Master Qiao at a restaurant to discuss business.
In two hours, A'Nan comes to call him as it is time to leave. He didn't manage to sleep again. He freshens up and leaves for their headquarters. On the way, he smoked two cigarettes... Who cares about breakfast anyway? Food no longer mattered; he had become so used to having a warm meal at home made by A'San that now if he did not have that, he lost his appetite. For the last few days, he had only a few cups of beef offal at night with beer and then lay down.
After discussing work with DongDong, he left to meet Master Qiao in the evening. It was a very posh restaurant where they had booked a private cabin. The discussion was, as usual, regarding the safe passage of one of his white powder shipments. The amount of control he has to impose on himself while facing this man is huge; this was the same man who dared to kidnap He Chusan. Every time he has to remind himself of his goal and Xiao Man and Qinglong's faces to sit and talk to him. There was a huge spread in front of him, which he only pretended to be eating while he was just somewhat moving his chopsticks. The man in front also didn't care enough to notice it; he was busy with his own food and the girl sitting beside him, feeding him. Once they were done, Master Qiao got up and left, reminding Xia Liuyi that he was only doing things according to the Old Shopkeeper.
Xia Liuyi was just sitting and having another smoke when A'Mao went to get his car ready for them to leave. Suddenly, A'Nan, who was at the door, said, "Oh, isn't that Mr. He?" Xia Liuyi couldn't help but get up and look in the direction A'Nan was looking. He could see He Chusan sitting at one of the corner tables with another man in front of him. They looked quite engrossed in whatever they were discussing. Xia Liuyi tried to look at the man he was with, but the man's face was not visible from this angle. In the meantime, A'Mao had returned to inform that the car was ready. It took everything Liuyi had to stop himself from going and talking to Chusan. He knew he should not make himself visible for A'San to see him, but still couldn't get rid of the craving. He almost went to him when he was suddenly reminded of the last thing Chusan had said to him... 'LEAVE'
He was about to leave when he heard A'Mao say to A'Nan, "Oh, looks like Mr. He is here on a date." Xia Liuyi was ready to hit him for saying that when he looked in Chusan's direction and found the other man now holding A'San's hand...
HOW DARE HE TOUCH HIS A'SAN LIKE THAT? WHY ISN'T A'SAN STOPPING HIM FROM DOING THAT? WHY IS HE NOT GETTING AWAY FROM HIM?
Liuyi could feel nothing but a buzz in his head, with all his thoughts rushing in his head at the speed of light. Before he could stop himself, he had rushed towards their table and swatted away the stranger's hand from A'San's hand. He didn't spare a glance at the stranger, only looking at Chusan, who was shocked to see him there. After the initial shock, Chusan averted his gaze and looked away. Liuyi's heart was breaking more and more with each passing second. He knew he had no right to question A'San about anything, but he couldn't think straight. He asked, "A'San, who is this person?" Chusan still didn't look at him, keeping his gaze on the other man. He tried holding his hand, but Chusan removed his hand from the table before he managed to grab it. Suddenly, the stranger spoke up, "Sir, may I know who you are and why you are bothering A'San?" Liuyi was so irritated with him that he wished he could beat the shit out of him right there. But now he needed to talk to Chusan. He ignored the other man and said again, "A'San, how have you been doing?" Chusan didn't spare him a glance and was getting up with his briefcase probably to leave, when Liuyi caught hold of his hand. The stranger also got up and removed Liuyi's hand to free A'San and said with a smirk, "Wait, I think I know who you are. San-San has told me about you. So you are the infamous triad ex-lover of his." Liuyi's ears were ringing after hearing this. Who does this man think he is, calling his A'San 'SAN-SAN'? Also, how dare he call him his ex-lover? Did A'San tell him that they had broken up? That was it. He couldn't control himself anymore. He grabbed the other man's collar and said, "Who said I am his ex? I am his husband!! Who do you think you are to spout all this nonsense?" The other man was not one to take this casually. He grabbed Liuyi's hand, freeing himself from him, and said with that infuriating smirk, "Who do I think I am? Well, I am the current one while you are the past one." Xia Liuyi lost all self-control at this; he was only thinking about how he would beat this person to pulp. Just as he was about to hit him, Chusan stepped in front of him. He looked really tired, Liuyi noticed. He gave Liuyi the same distant look he had given him that night and said, "I think I made it clear that night that we are over." This broke everything in Liuyi, all the anger, all the control, everything. He looked away.... he couldn't look at Chusan's dismissive eyes. The same eyes that previously held so much love, adoration, and care for him. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. Before he could say anything, Chusan said, "Stop bothering me anymore", grabbed hold of the other man, and pulled him out of the restaurant after keeping a few bills on the table. Liuyi stood there in shock for some time. A'San had just used the word 'BREAKUP', and the other man had claimed that he was his current one, and A'San hadn't corrected him. Had A'San already found someone to replace him? Was he left all alone now? Without a home, without anyone to return to? But he had never agreed to end things with Chusan, who said it was already over? Why did nobody ask him about it? Does A'San really not care about him anymore? He had looked at him with such indifference. He loved A'San too much to let him go like this. But what could be done? Wasn't he the worst of the lot for A'San, who kept on hurting him? He still couldn't process everything that had happened. After some time, he got a few more bottles of alcohol from the restaurant and asked A'Mao to drive them back. He reached his house, doused himself in alcohol to stop all the overthinking, and lay there in his garden for the whole night. When he woke up, he thought about everything that had happened again and decided that it was not possible. He Chusan was not serious about their supposed 'breakup'. Yes, he had ended up hurting A'San when he got hurt while going for revenge, but he still loved him a lot; they couldn't break up just like that. He Chusan would definitely let him back into his life; he just needed time to cool down, and by then Xia Liuyi would be able to explain. He consciously shut down the voice in his head that was going on and on about what if he is never able to go back to his A'San? His home?