Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Welcome to the World of Jujutsu Kaisen, Player!
Okay. Long story short, I'm doomed.
I just finished reading JJK and my goodness, do I want to shred the pages apart. The only reason why I didn't is because they cost a SHIT TON of money with my hard earned money from working at the convenience store. But that's not the point.
The story is horrible. Like, all of them are dead. Actually, all the good ones are dead. I mean, Todo is still alive that's really fucking it. They killed off Nanami in Shibuya, did Choso dirty just to be used as a plot device to torment the wimpy ass. And don't even get me started on what they did to my queen, Nobara.
LITERALLY ‘KILLED’ HER IN SHIBUYA AND WAS LIKE NOT EVEN PRESENT HALF THE STORYLINE.
Why would they market them as a trio if you're just gonna kick one into the curb and then have a miraculous revival because who the fuck even knows what is going on with Gege's mind.
And then there's Fushiguro Fucking-Emotionally-Constipated-Ass Megumi. He sucks so bad, oh my god. There's actually so many times I just want to punch a wall, punch my upstairs neighbor who kept bringing randos to fuck, and slap that one night-shift guard who's prickly when all he does is smoke and eat during his shift ‘guarding’ the apartment.
This kid brings out the worst in me, not gonna lie. The amount of times he just defaults to Mahoraga pose every single inconvenience in his life, very pathetic for someone who grew up with Gojo Satoru's presence and has been training all his life to enter jujutsu high.
I hate that overpowered toddler too. Not as much as Fushiguro but he's up there. Gege didn't hold back making him OP so he had to nerd him with arrogance and overwork.
But whatever.
Okay so, herein lies the rub, just as I was about to step out the door of my apartment, it's like the view in front of me glitched, and suddenly the world is ending.
There are fucking buildings burning and getting destroyed. It's so loud I think my eardrums are gonna burst.
My whole body is shaking and my head hurts so much. I'm so dizzy I might actually throw up if I move. I can feel something wet on my forehead, blurring my vision red.
“What the fuck is happening in– Shit!”
My knees just gave up working after trying to stand. Everything just hurts and I want to crawl in a hole and die because of this pain. All of this is so sudden, did I have a stroke and was immediately sent to hell after death?
With shaky fingers, I wiped out the blood obscuring my sight. The ground is still shaking from a shockwave that is seemingly near the area. So I slowly turned my head on the right side.
There is only ruin and explosions happening and some flying dudes?! It's too far away to see properly but I could only hope I'm not in some sort of an armageddon described in the bible.
“Hic. We're… all gonna die,” I heard someone faintly say from my left. They sounded terrified and honestly I am as well, still hoping this is some sort of a hallucination from staying up.
A blue screen popped up in front of me.
[ Welcome to the World of Jujutsu Kaisen, Player.
Character Avatar: Fushiguro Megumi
Location: Shibuya
Date: October 31, 2018
Have fun! ]
WHAT THE FUCK.
FUCK.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK.
OF ALL TIME I COULD'VE TRANSMIGRATED, IT JUST HAD TO BE AT SHIBUYA?! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLOWEEN INCIDENT?!!
AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN HAVE FUN?!! AND AS FUSHIGURO MEGUMI?!
Wait…
If I'm in the body of emo boy, does that mean that little shit literally called it quits and died then placed a civilian like me to clean up his mess?
Cooked. I am gonna die. I don't even know how to use cursed energy!
I carefully turned my head to the left and saw a bastard.
Yep, that is clearly that bitch ass Shigemo, which means the shockwaves are from Sukuna fighting Mahoraga.
[ That's correct! How exciting, isn't it? You'll be able to watch it live! ]
“Go suck a dick, you trash system. Who wants to be teleported into the middle of a battlefield” I hissed at the screen harshly.
I need to escape, I don't want to die, I'm so scared.
I couldn't help but let out a sob in this situation. I have to get away from here. Sukuna will come for me and kill Shigemo. No one's gonna miss that dude anyways. Yes, they are just characters, okay? Not people.
They are not people. Just characters.
I don't care if they die or not. It's not my problem.
I attempted to stand up, once more, leaning on a slab of concrete beside me. This body has been healed but the pain isn't gone. How do sorcerers cope with this kind of agony?
“Oho? You're awake, Fushiguro Megumi,” a deep chilling voice interrupted my thoughts, my eyes widening and my breath starts to quicken.
Slow footsteps are headed in my direction so I looked up and met his eyes.
Shigemo must've already died.
“Sukuna,” his grin sharpened a bit when he heard me say his name.
Oh god, he's finished dealing with Mahoraga. I'm gonna throw up.
He stopped right before me and held my face by the chin with his index finger and thumb and leaned his lips to whisper in my ears.
“You have definitely caught my interest, Fushiguro Megumi. So you better stay alive for me. I still have something for you to do.” I shivered at the warm breath hitting my earlobes and pushed him away with what little strength I could gather and glared.
I'm so fucking terrified. This demon can kill me with a single flick of his fingers if he wants to. Hot.
“And if I refuse?” My response only made his grin even wider. This creepy ass pedo predator, I would've kicked him in the balls if I got enough leg strength.
“I don't think you're in any position to refuse”
“FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID ASS CURSE. GO BACK TO HELL AND EAT SHIT YOU—KYA!”
I got cut off when Sukuna suddenly lifted me in a fireman's carry, patting my but twice as though placating a toddler. But I knew better. The bastard laughed at me for yelping!
“LET GO OFF ME, PERVERTED BASTARD!” I continued cursing him off as he brought me to where I assume Ieiri Shoko's medical tent should be.
“RYOUMEN SUKUNA!” Yaga bellowed, shocked to see one of their students being carried by the King of Curses. I was then shoved into the principal who looks like his veins are going to burst.
“Heal him,” is the last thing he says before going back to the carnage he left behind to torment Yuuji.
[ Capture Path for Ryoumen Sukuna, the King of Curses has been opened. Would you like to pursue this romance? ]
I coughed out of shock, Yaga immediately ordering Shoko to prepare the tent.
Since when is JJK an otome game? And why would this stupid system even suggest that?
[ Capture path for Yaga Masamichi— ]
“Shut the fuck up!” I clutched my head and pulled my (Fushiguro's?) hair in frustration. It only served to alarm the two older sorcerers present. (Ino is unconscious so he doesn't count)
“Fushiguro-kun, what's the matter?” Ieiri-san questioned.
“Do you have any pain killers, Ieiri-sensei?”
“I'll get you some”
[ Capture path for Ieiri— ]
Oh. My. God.
STOP.
Ino, in another bed groans, still feeling the pain in his unconsciousness.
[ Capture path for Ino — ]
‘System, stop flashing this nonsense. Reject them all!’ I hissed at it in my head, hoping it can hear my thoughts as well.
[ Aww… ]
I can only sigh.
[ Love is war, as they say. So why not sprinkle this world with a bit of romance! You never know what kind of ending you could achieve, y'know? For funsies! ]
‘Seriously, stop it, before I decide to resummon Mahoraga for funsies!’
[ Aww… ]
The system screen disappeared.
By now, Yuuji must've been having a breakdown a couple blocks away. Which also means, if my timeline is correct, Nanami and Kugisaki are still alive!
“Yaga-sensei! I need to head back there, in the field. Nanami-san is gravely injured! Kugisaki might die if I don't go and help!”
I took the pain killers from Ieiri-san and demanded to be released.
“Fushiguro-kun, your body has already been pushed to the limit, you know that better than I do. You cannot go back out there” Yaga sternly says.
“But Nanami-san—”
“Nanami is a full grown adult. A grade 1 sorcerer who knows the risk of this job. And Kugisaki, trust your classmates a bit more. Do you think Itadori Yuuji wouldn't be able to gain control?”
What he said is logical. I wouldn't be able to help them in my state. And so I sat back down in the cot.
This is a really stupid plot. A really, really stupid world.
I can't go out there and save them.
I do not know how to control cursed energy.
This story is already a losing game.
No preparations, no time to do anything, just got dropped in the middle of ground zero.
And this system even dared joke around having a romance capture system.
Wait.
‘System, what does this capture system include? And am I able to pursue multiple capture targets?’
[ !!! ]
[ The Capture System, as its name implies is adapted from an otome game methodology via romance and hatred meters. Selecting a target gives the Player a significant boost in abilities namely Cursed Energy Threshold, Strength, Health, Cursed Energy Mastery, Speed, and Agility.
The Player may select up to two targets at once, giving the System authority over storyline crafting, overriding the so-called canon timeline— ]
“Every target is a human so far, but can I also select a curse as one?”
[ Analyzing Terms of Service… Accepted. The Player is allowed to choose a Curse as a target. ]
“Even if I have not encountered them yet? And this story-crafting, what is it and can it trigger instantaneously?”
[ Story-crafting creates a branching storyline diverging to multiple paths with the purpose of assisting the player in their romance. Activates instantaneously, placing the Player in a favorable position to achieve their goal. ]
“Alright, I'm ready to choose.”
[ Preparing… ]
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“I choose Ryoumen Sukuna and the Cursed Spirit Mahito as my Capture Targets”
[ … ]
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.
.
[Affirmative, calculating overall boost rewards. Confirmed.
Activate story-crafting… Accepted. Preparing teleportation to Shibuya Station in 3, 2 —]
“SHIT, IMMEDIATELY?!”
[As per the Player's preference, Story-crafting shall be activated, instantaneously. ]
Okay, okay, yeah. Maybe plot armor can save us. Let's save our Nanamin and our Queen Kugisaki Nobara.
‘Also, I'll make sure to have fun with my two targets’