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Steve rolled to his lift, his body was sore and achy. He couldn't for the life of him remember when the last time his body feel so bad. Possibly before the serum. He rolled to the side expecting to find Natasha, but instead found someone else. He had yet to open his eyes, but the firmness of the person that occupied Natasha's normal spot made the desire to open his eyes vanish. Other than Natasha, he’d never had anyone in his bed, in this time at least. He and Natasha had been exclusive for several months, and before they were exclusive, he still hadn’t brought anyone home. He feared what he would find, when he opened his eyes. He wasn’t typically someone that feared much, but there was a first time for everything. He heard the bedroom door open.
"Dear God what kind of den of sins are you running here, Rogers?"
Steve groaned, Tony Stark on a normal morning was difficult to deal with, something told him he didn’t want to deal with Tony at that particular moment. Tony was his best friend, but sometimes he just didn’t want to deal with the snarky, sassy genius. Especially not with the Hulk sized headache he was dealing with.
“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain Tony.”
“You know, I gotta say, I didn’t have you pegged for a more than one person kind of guy.” Tony giggled. It was a sound Steve wasn’t used to hearing. “Pegged… Perhaps I should have used a different word.”
Steve didn’t know what he was talking about, but when it came to Tony and giggling, Steve knew it was bad. He shut his eyes tighter and buried his head in the firm body beside him.
“Go away.” Steve muttered, his voice muffled by the body.
“Not on your life. Does Tasha know about this?”
Steve’s blood ran cold, he really didn’t want to explain to Tasha why he was naked in his bed with someone else. Steve felt the blankets slide down his waist a little and heard a soft moan.
“Why does it feel like I got hit with two tons of bricks and took on The Hulk all at the same time?” Natasha groaned.
Steve wanted to breath a sigh of relief that he wouldn’t have to explain anything to Nat, but honestly adding her to the picture that was being painted in his minds eye just made everything worse.
“Sweet Mary mother of god!” Tony shouted, shock evident in his voice.
“Tony!” Steve muttered. His head was pounding, he couldn’t stand the grating lilt of Tony’s shout.
“Look, considering you have a master assassin laying on one side of you in her birthday suit, nice ass by the way Tasha.”
“Fuck you, Stark.” Tasha mumbled.
Steve felt the pillow beside him move and figure Nat had buried her head under it. She always did that when she didn’t want to wake up. It had taken him some time to get used to having his pillow stolen. She never used her own pillow to bury her head. It was always his.
“And a very naked, very not human son of Odin, that your head is currently buried in, on the other side, I’d say God, had nothing to do with this. The devil… Maybe.”
The mention of who was beside him made Steve sit up suddenly. He blinked against the sudden flood of pain in both his retinas and his back.
"Your butt hurt?" Tony asked a smile on his face.
"What?" Steve asked massaging the muscles in his back.
"Oh nothing, just wanted to know if you were the pitcher or the catcher."
Steve’s brow furrowed, he understood the reference Tony was making, he was not simple, but he couldn’t remember a damn thing about the night before.
“Can I ask? Does Bruce know about this little threesome?”
Steve’s eyes widened, Bruce was away for a conference on gamma radiation and its effects on people. Thor had been mopy the whole week that Bruce was gone. Thor and Steve had become good friends but that didn’t explain why he, Thor and Natasha were all three naked in his bed. Why couldn’t he remember anything from the night before? there was a giant black hole in his memory.
“Oh, big green is going to smash him a boyfriend, a super soldier and a master assassin. I should probably call up the Wolverine, Spider-Man and Rhodey and let them know there will be some openings in the avengers soon.”
Steve glared at Tony, “Why are you getting so much pleasure out of this? I have no idea what happened last night. I don’t remember anything.”
Steve looked to his right and found his girlfriend, buried under his pillow, soft sounds told him she had gone back to sleep. He looked to his left and found… He closed his eyes willing the naked image of Thor to go away.
“Wait… You don’t remember? It’s not like you to be forgetting things. What do you remember? What’s the last thing you can recall before it all goes blank?” Tony asked leaning against the wall. His body was relaxed but his voice held some concern.
Finally Tony understood what was troubling Steve. Steve didn’t black out, he didn’t forget things. It just didn’t happen.
“I don’t remember anything!” Steve said, his voice louder than normal. “Dinner with You, Pepper, Thor, Nat and Clint. That’s the last thing.”
“Ok, well the last time I saw you; you, Nat and Thor were taking Loki…”
Loki had been visiting Thor. It was one thing that actually cheered the demiGod up when Bruce was gone. Steve had been against the whole damn idea, but Clint had chimed in. The idea of extracting a bit of revenge on the God of mischief was just too much for Clint to pass up. Tony and Steve had been the only ones really against it.
“Loki!” Steve nearly shouted.
“You bellowed?”
Tony nearly came out of his skin when Loki appeared out of thin air beside him in the doorway.
“What did you do to us?” Steve asked, his voice slightly lower, he had no desire to wake up the God of thunder.
“Nothing you did not want, I can assure you.” Loki said simply.
“Then why can’t I remember anything?”
“Perhaps it is because you can not hold your liquor.”
Tony laughed, “You know as well as I do, that that, is not true.”
“Perhaps it wasn’t true when there had not been magics involved.” Loki looked bored by the conversation.
“Loki! You used your magic to get me drunk?” Steve didn’t know why he was shocked, but he was.
“Perhaps. What you did after that however, is on you.”
“What did we do after?” Steve asked, afraid of the answer.
“Oh, come on Captain, you’re a fairly… intelligent man, I’m sure you can guess.”
Steve felt the color drain out of his face. He was going to die, Bruce was going to kill him. He wasn’t sure how he would face Thor.
“Tasha doesn’t seem to remember either though,” Tony said. Thinking on his feet. Steve could see the little cogs behind the mans eyes spinning to life. “What’s the likelihood that Thor will remember?” Tony asked, to no one in particular.
“Oh, very good I’d say, as I wiped all their memories.” Loki left after that, both Tony and Steve staring after him.
“Ok,” Tony said, moving into the bedroom, “here’s what we are going to do. You are going to get dressed and I will figure out how to get sleeping beauty dressed.” Tony pointed to Thor. “Maybe you can get Nat dressed too, I really like my limbs and she keeps threatening me with sharp things.”
Steve nodded and moved off the bed making sure to take a sheet with him.
“Not fair! I get to see Nat and Thor naked, but I don’t get to see you?” Tony pouted as he picked up a pair of boxers from the floor.
“Not on your life.” He said using Tony’s words against him. “Those,” Steve said pointing to the underwear in Tony’s hand, “are mine.”
Tony made a face. “You’re no fun,” he said, throwing the underwear at Steve.
Steve put the boxers on under the sheet and tossed the sheet into the laundry bin in the corner. No way was he not stripping the bed after everything. Tony managed to get the underwear on Thor, but Natasha was not so easy, instead Steve wrapped her in a blanket and prayed she didn’t remember the conversation she had woken up to in the middle of.
“Come on, lets get some coffee and maybe some Advil, hangovers suck.” Tony smacked Steve on the ass and smiled when Steve simply glared.
“Pitcher then.” Tony said walking out of the room behind Steve and Shutting the door. “I’m not surprised. You look like a top.”
Steve just shook his head and followed Tony down the hall. He wanted to kill Loki, but that was for another day.