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He remembered being stuck at that gas station like it was yesterday.
His father had been silent the entire way, ignoring every single of Max's attempts at conversation. Max knew the crash was a mistake, and he had tried to apologize for it desperately as they drove away from the track, but Jos wasn't having it.
It had been a mistake to let himself think it was just another one of his father's angry treatments.
Max still remembered the confusion he felt as they had pulled into a gas station. Their tank had been full, there was no reason to bother stopping anywhere. His father had spoken then, firm and simple.
'Get out of the car, Max. I don't want to hear you anymore.'
Spluttering in shock, Max had refused, asking his dad why he should get out and how he was going to get back to the hotel.
'I don't give a shit. Out, now.'
Of course, Max had obeyed. His father wasn't a man to be pushed back against. Especially when he was riled up after one of Max's losses. And this one had been quite a spectacular one. So, he opened the door and stepped out.
The wind hit him directly in the face, sending shivers the crawled all over his body like tiny spiders. As soon as Max had closed the door, his father had sped away.
Leaving him.
Max's only option had been clear: call his mother.
Thankfully for him, she'd been around 5 minutes down the road in her own car. But for those 5 minutes, Max stayed in the cold, hands buried deep inside his jacket. He refused to go inside of the station for warmth, the embarrassment and potential refusal-of-service too big in his mind.
He hadn't been dressed for the situation. Why would he have been? In all of his father's anger and screaming before, he'd never left Max somewhere like this.
As cruel as his father could be, he'd never quite hit this level of awfulness.
When Max would recount this story later in his life, he'd make excuses for his father. He wouldn't see this as an act of cruelty but as an act of training. Something to push Max. An experience to allow Max to grow even more.
The car his mother was driving had pulled in front of him almost erratically, though nowhere near putting Max—or anyone—in danger.
Sophie had gotten out, immediately fussing over him and worrying about the cold, muttering about how this was a new low, even for Jos. Max had been silent, too busy stuck in his own head to do anything but get into his mother's car, the crash that had led to this playing over and over again in his head.
His mother tried to engage with him, asking if he was okay, but Max hadn't responded with more then a nod or a shrug.
Now, as Max stared at the empty gas station parking lot, he felt his chest be crushed slowly under the increasing pressure of his memories. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think.
Where on earth was George?
Leaning heavily against the wall, he fought desperately against the tears threatening to spill out and the sobs on the very edge of his lips. His throat hurt with the tension, and his head was quickly following.
Max had wanted some drinks, that was all. He'd asked George to take the next exit so they could refill on Redbull. George had rolled his eyes but agreed, not truly bothered by Max's requests, just enjoying the show of being annoyed. At least, that's what Max had thought.
And yet, as Max's gaze hopelessly bounced off of every single visible part of the lot, the car was nowhere to be seen.
The Redbull in his hand felt heavy, as well as the sparkling water he had gotten for George. Max had teased George for the request, calling him a health nut. George had responded that 'at least I'll live to be above 50' and Max had laughed, getting out.
All things that Max figured were normal.
They always teased each other. That's how they worked and how they had always worked, long before they'd even started dating. Max liked the game. He'd been an idiot to think George did too.
Every single joke, every single sarcastic insult played in Max's mind like a movie. All mistakes. All things that had built up a resentment in George. A resentment so large that when he'd seen an opening to finally abandon Max, he took it.
A single tear fell down his cheek.
Max couldn't find it in himself to blame George. He'd always known the other would leave him one day, realize how much better he was then the mess that he was dating. Max had known he should've never gone for George, that the other was too good for him.
Still, did George have to leave him in such a way? More tears escaped his eyes as his thoughts ran quicker, unable to focus on holding them back.
Max was always destined to be left.
Always.
He didn't even notice how he crumped on the ground, knees pulled tightly against himself until a hand landed heavily on his shoulder and Max couldn't see who it was, the world having fallen into darkness. Letting out a hoarse gasp, Max pushed away.
His father had come back to punish him. He'd been ungrateful to be this upset about the gas station. Max knew how much worse it could get, he knew, and yet he'd allowed himself to fall apart like a weak little-
"-ax. Max. Come back to me, love, come back, please." The accent of the voice was strong. But, it was nothing like his dad's. It wasn't angry dutch. It was gentle words carried by the voice of an angel. A British angel, it seemed.
"George, schatje? Ben... ben jij dat?"
"Oh thank god." So much relief in so little words. "Max, love, I- I'm sorry I don't understand what you're saying."
Right. His angel didn't speak dutch. Max paused, biting his tongue in thought.
"George, you… did- didn't leave me." He managed to get out, struggling. English wasn't coming to him easily right now. He didn't like it.
"No- no, of course not." George said, and, oh his hands were on Max's face, cupping it. Max couldn't help but almost melt into the warm touch, wet eyelids fluttering shut. "Did you think I left you?"
"You were gone." Max whispered. "I couldn't blame you for leaving me, though. It made sense."
"…what? Why would me leaving you make any sense at all?" George said, and he sounded so surprised that Max almost believed George didn't understand.
"Because I knew you were going to leave me." Max said, not bothering to open his eyes. Facing George seemed like an incredibly difficult task right now anyways. "It was a matter of time."
"Max, what are you blabbing on about?" George said slowly. "Explain."
And who was Max to deny this angel that had come back for him?
"I'm a nuisance." Max spoke quietly. "I'm annoying, I only wear skinny jeans and redbull shirts, I'm always making fun of you for everything, I get angry at you during races, I say shitty things to the media about you, I'm an awful boyfriend-"
"Shut up." George said firmly. "You, shut up right now. Nobody talks about my beautiful and amazing boyfriend like that. Not even you."
Max opened his eyes in surprise, blinking, mouth going a bit agape with words he wasn't sure about on the tip of his tongue.
"No." George said, and he seemed genuinely angry at Max. "You don't get to speak after you said that. How dare you. How dare you call yourself an awful boyfriend? I love you so, so much Max and I can't believe you think I think any of those things."
Then, George's expression changed from angry to almost… hopeless.
"Do I make you feel that way Max?" George asked, staring at Max with desperation. "Do I make you feel like an awful boyfriend? I'm so sorry, love, I'm so sorry- I never wanted you to think I was leaving you-"
Max stared at George, even more lost. "Why are you apologizing?"
"Are you serious?" George spluttered, looking at Max with those wide blue eyes that Max always loved so much about him. "I found you on the sidewalk panicking because you thought I had left you, and you're asking why I'm apologizing..?"
"Well, I guess when you put it like that…" Max trailed off, having an awkward realization they were both on dirty concrete in a quite public area. "We should get up."
George stared at Max with furrowed brows for a long second before getting up, helping Max.
"So, wait, why were you gone in the first place?" Max said, turning towards the car that was now parked very much not correctly in front of them.
"I was getting food." George said. "Like… I told you when I dropped you off?"
Max opened his mouth, then closed it. Now that he thought about it, George had screamed something from the window when he'd been walking away.
"You didn't hear me, did you."
"I just sobbed my eyes out in a random gas lot parking lot, therefore I don't see the relevance-"