Chapter Text
Gil’s actually felt like this for a while. Back when she stayed in Glasgow, she’s always enjoyed the feeling of her longer hair tickling the bottom of her neck, she’s always enjoyed running her fingers through her hair.. she’s always liked that aspect of herself. When she donned that signature cap of hers, even despite her boxier and taller figure, sometimes people would mistake her as a lady.. and she felt weirdly happy about that.
Behind closed doors, Gil would try and figure out why she felt this way about herself. The moment she spoke and her deeper voice got out, she’d feel unusually somber once people start referring to her as a man again. She knew it was only natural knowing it was her assigned sex; but it didn’t feel very natural to her lately.
She’s been feeling like this since she was in Glasgow, now she’s staying in the Far East with her tightly knit Blood unit. Her old friend Haru is here too. She’s secretly been reading old books from decades ago, trying to figure out what exactly she was. She ended up finding her answer: a transgender woman. It was really, really goddamn nice to actually figure out why exactly she felt this way, almost liberating. She slid the stash of books under her bed, where she usually hid her junk, before leaving her quarters. She internally promised to herself: she’ll tell her close friends about this.
———
It was midnight, Gil sat next to Haru in the lounge’s bar having a late drink. It seemed like they were the only ones awake, as there wasn’t a single sound other than their banter, the gulping of alcohol, and glasses clinking together. Haru was getting slightly frisky with Gil as a result of his tipsiness, which prompted a rougher than intended kick from her, that luckily didn’t throw Haru off the seat. They’ve known each other for years, and Haru is still the unabashedly perverted bastard he’s always been, despite his apparent kindheartedness.
After Haru got the memo, Gil sighed, gripping her glass of whiskey. She held it tightly, internally pulling herself together to piece together what exactly she wanted to say, only for Haru to speak. “What’s up, Gil? Cat got your tongue all of a sudden?” he asked, some redness on his face as a result of his tipsiness.
Gil stayed quiet a bit longer. She raised the glass and gulped down whatever whiskey was inside, before looking directly into Haru’s eyes with a serious look. “Haruomi. I’m a woman. I’ve felt like this since we were in Glasgow.” She then looked away a bit sheepishly, pouring herself another glass of whiskey, wanting to distract herself from any possible stupid things Haru could say, until—
“Does that mean I can actually hit on you without you hitting me?” Haru casually asked, which left Gil utterly baffled. Out of all things, he was most concerned about that?
“Regardless of my gender, Im still going to hit you if you hit on me, dipshit,” Gil snapped.
Haru shrugged. He took the bottle of whiskey away from Gil and poured it into his own glass, before quickly gulping it down. He cleared his throat after, “Jokes aside.. Im glad you told me. Kate actually used to tell me that you often requested for her hair products, among other things, and I think she knew about this for a while. Im sure she’d be glad to hear that you figured it out eventually, and so am I.” He then smirked a little, “So.. while I don’t really mind men and always found you kinda hot, since you’re a woman now.. do you wanna drop by my room for a sec?”
Gil intentionally kicked Haru’s stool rough enough to send him flying. “Fuck no, you goddamn dipshit! God.”
———
The entire unit of Blood sat by the sofas in the lounge, chatting it up with each other and filling the area with jokes, remarks and laughter. Gil had requested for them all to come here, and after clearing her throat, she took off her cap and held it in her lap. They all curiously looked at her, wondering what she had to say (and also maybe a little surprised by the sight of her without her cap). “Gil, are you feeling all right?” Ciel inquired, her soft voice holding some care in it.
“Yeah,” Gil blurted out, perhaps a little too quickly and too close for comfort. She felt unusually anxious even though she’s known these people for a while now, really wanting to hide under the brim of her cap. But she didn’t. She let out a small exhale, “I’ll just say it. Don’t call me Gilbert anymore, it’s just Gil. Also I’m a woman.”
A brief moment of silence fell over the unit, which made Gil feel even more anxious despite her trying to hide it, until Livie shrugged her shoulders lightly. “Congrats on figuring that out,” she replied, a faint little smile crossing her lips.
“Wow! Gil’s a girl now?” Nana, who never failed to liven up the atmosphere, exclaimed rather joyfully, a bright grin plastered onto her face. “That’s super awesome! I’m sure she’s gonna be awesome!”
Ciel chuckled softly. “To be honest, I wouldn’t say I’m too surprised. Sometimes Gil would ask me how it was like being a girl, then brush it off after and pretend like she never said a word,” she remarked. “I’m quite glad you decided to tell us. Really.”
“Same here,” Julius spoke up. He crossed his arms over his chest with a smile, “We’re all happy for you, Gil. Is there anything we need to adjust for you? Should we start buying new clothes suited for you? Do we need to call you a different name—actually you already said Gil, so never mind that. What pronouns would you rather we use—“
—“Jeez, Julius, give it a rest I just came out!” Gil bristled a little, somewhat overwhelmed by the sudden bombardment of questions. She huffed, resting a hand on her hip, still holding her cap on her lap. “I’m already okay with the clothes I have, but I guess a dress and skirt or two would be good. About my pronouns..” she paused briefly. “I mean, since it’s kind of sudden, I’m not really gonna hold it against you if you refer to me using ‘he’ by accident, at least for now. Just know that I’m not a man, and if it seems intentional on your part, you’ll get a whole lot more than me holding it against you. And.. yeah, I’d rather be referred with ‘she’. ‘They’ is okay too, I don’t mind that actually.”
Romeo hasn’t said a word yet. He seemed a little confused, he was trying to understand what was happening and why Gil decided this all of a sudden, so he thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask. “Um.. Gil, could I ask you some stuff? I’m really sorry if they sound insensitive though!” Once she nodded in response, he sighed, slumping over a bit. “Well, uhh.. why are you suddenly a woman now? I mean, you were born as a dude, and.. I’m not really sure about this..” He jolted at the sight of pretty much the entire Blood unit glaring at him, sweat abruptly trickling down his face. “Whoa, whoa, I said I’m sorry if they come off as insensitive! I really do want to know though!”
At first, Gil felt quite upset about Romeo’s questions. Why does it matter if she was born as a man, she’s been feeling like this for years! But she ended up sighing softly, and her composure loosened up. She knew Romeo genuinely didn’t mean for his questions to be offensive, so she might as well open up about it. “This isn’t sudden, actually. I’ve felt like this ever since I became a God Eater in Glasgow, so I’ve been like this for a while. It’s just that only now I’ve decided to be upfront with it, and actually live the way I want to be.” A genuine smile crossed her lips, one that wasn’t hidden by the cap she so often hid under before this. “It doesn’t really matter if I was born as a guy. If I don’t feel like a guy, and I feel like I’m a woman instead, then so be it. I am a woman.”
Listening intently to Gil’s voice as she spoke, Romeo nodded after once she was done talking. That look of confusion left his face, replaced by an understanding smile. “Oh.. that’s actually pretty sick! I’m sure you’re gonna make a real hot babe!”
Gil snorted, putting her cap back on. “Right. Thanks, I guess.”
The unit dropped their glares towards Romeo and they all went back to normal, chatting and joking with each other as per usual. Nothing about their relationship as a team changed, really; only that they were gonna support Gil in whatever way they could. As a teammate. As a sister instead of a brother. The girls are gonna love dressing their new girl up, huh?