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Jack Abbot was soft and sin all wrapped into one thing, dangerous.
Beneath his handsome exterior was wit and charm that immediately had you hooked from the first day you met him in the pitt.
It was a mutual infatuation. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you if you both were in the same room. You were like a star that he couldn’t help but orbit.
You started having feelings for him, ones that teetered on the edge of love. But you couldn’t tell him that but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t take what you could get. Even if it meant you could only have him in the quiet of his bed, or yours.
Even if it meant holding back your heart.
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You’re running late. Not yet late to your shift but late on getting ready to go. You hold your towel up, toothbrush in your mouth as you dig through your overnight bag for your scrubs.
You’re bent over as you look and then a hand plants itself on your waist.
“Don’t stress yourself out sweetheart, they’ll be okay if you’re a few minutes late.”
A mumble comes out that Jack can’t make out.
He squeezes your hip “what’s that?”
You stand up and turn to face him, pulling the toothbrush from your mouth.
“I said, easy for you to say. You’re an attending and everyone happens to love you.”
He laughs a little at your statement.
“Well they love you too. I lo- They all love you too.”
Your heart skips a beat at how he seemed to almost say the phrase but doesn’t.
It’s always almost a slip of the tongue and then it’s nothing.
It’s always nothing.
His hand caresses your face, bringing you back in the moment.
“When can I see you again?” He whispers closely.
A mental sigh goes on in your head.
You wish it wasn’t this way.
Where you only time you see him outside of work is under his sheets but never anything more.
You’d tell him you love him if you weren’t so worried he’d turn you down and break your heart in the process.
You loved Jack Abbot.
But he didn’t seem to love you back.
So this is what it had to be.
What it would always be until it stopped.
You lean into his hand.
“I’m free Friday night. That okay?”
A smile appears on his face.
“Perfect. Meet me here at 7. And let’s do dinner first, if that’s okay?”
Your eyes widen a little.
Dinner?
For what?
You weren’t sure but this was more than being only his in bed. It was… progress maybe?
“Y-Yeah of course. Definitely okay.”
He gives you a quick kiss and pulls back.
“See you then, sweetheart.”
Maybe this was it.
Maybe this was your chance to admit how you felt.
And maybe he’d have something to say too.
The weekend couldn’t come fast enough.
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Your shift is busy and you’re pulled back and forth amongst patients. All you can think about is a hot bath and the leftovers you have waiting for you when you leave the building.
“Day dreaming much?”
The voice pulls you from your thoughts at the supply cart.
“Oh uh, yeah. Just ready to go. It's been a day.”
Dana chuckles at your answer.
“So no daydreaming of a certain night attending?”
Your eyes widen and your face gets warm fast.
“W-Why would you say that? Cause I definitely don’t.”
She smiles in amusement at you.
“All I’m gonna say” she walks a bit closer to you “is that he’s just as gone for you as you are for him.”
Your head turns fast to face her.
“You’re serious? No, no there’s no way.”
She shrugs still with a smile.
“It’s just what I overheard from the man himself.”
Dana pats your shoulder before walking away.
You watch her walk away then turn back to the supply cart.
Did he really say that to someone about you?
—-
You continue the shift and continue stocking some carts. One is by an area of rooms that’s typically unoccupied unless there’s an overflow of patients.
Checking one you open the drawers to see what it needs when a familiar voice stops you in your tracks.
“Okay, our little secret.”
Samira?
Wonder who she’s talking to.
Then another voice joins in, one that makes your body freeze.
“Yeah, no one can know.”
Jack.
Your heart races at his words.
Wait, they're in there together?
You peek in the small opening of the curtain and see Jack shirtless with Samira standing in front of him, arms crossed with a bright smile on her face.
You feel sick.
Secret?
No one can know?
Is…is he sleeping with her too?
You guys weren’t anything official but you had assumed you guys were exclusive as a friends with benefits type thing.
You were only seeing Jack but you had never considered he was seeing another person.
Of course it would be Samira.
You couldn’t blame him.
She was amazing.
He should’ve told you though. That should’ve been brought up from the beginning.
And to think that Friday’s dinner may have been the start of something official. Something...real.
You don’t notice you had started crying until a tear rolls down your neck.
You quickly wipe it away and walk off, cart completely forgotten now.
Dana must’ve heard wrong.
He clearly didn’t have feelings for you.
Not the way you did for him.
Fuck Friday night dinner.
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You continue to avoid Jack the next few days. Little to no texts or responses. Rainchecking your regular hookup schedule with him. Dodging him when he came looking for you in the pitt. Only talking if it was in a professional matter.
Maybe you should’ve confronted him for real answers instead of ignoring him but you were too hurt by the Samira and ‘our secret’ conversation to care.
Dana tried not so subtly to get you to open up but you politely deflected any conversation about Jack.
—-
Today was Friday and you had the day off. You had planned to use the time to pamper yourself and get all dolled up for your dinner with Jack but that was no longer the case.
Currently you were laying on the couch in a way too big tshirt and your underwear, a pint of ice cream in hand.
You glance at your phone.
7:15pm.
You were supposed to have met at Jack’s apartment at 7.
He had texted five minutes after, probably caught off guard by you being late. You didn’t answer, not wanting to hash everything out over the phone. Not wanting to do anything but drown your sorrows in a container of cookies ‘n cream ice cream.
Just as your show starts a new episode, there’s a knock at the door.
You pause the tv and stand to make your way over. It doesn’t take a genius to guess who it is. You crack the door slightly and see Jack standing there.
He’s dressed in a nice black button up and black pants.
God he’s so handsome.
Then you’re brought out of your trance by his speaking
“Sweetheart, is everything okay? Can I please come in?”
You stand there silently for a beat before opening the door wider to let him slip in.
He looks at your attire and the ice cream in your hand.
“Did you forget we had dinner honey?” he asked gently.
You huff and roll your eyes.
“Oh no, I remembered. But I figured maybe you’d prefer Samira to show up instead. Would be a better time and make for a good secret.”
Jack looks at you confused.
“What are you talking about? What does Mohan have anything to do with this? Better yet, why have you been ignoring me all week?”
Your face twists in disbelief, the anger starting to rise.
“You know exactly what I'm talking about. You and Samira in that empty room. You shirtless with her in the room. The little ‘our secret’ thing. Why would I continue to entertain you when you’re fucking Samira too? I’m not a second choice. You don't get to use me when I'm convenient for you. You don’t get to use me when I fucking love you. You're such an-”
“Wait sweethe-”
“Don’t you ‘sweetheart’ me Jack Abbot” you cut him off.
You turn away from him with your hands clenching your hair.
“I cant believe I thought you liked me, more than just a fuck buddy. I’m so fucking stu-”
Hands land on your shoulders and turn you around.
“Hey!” Jack says loud enough to get your attention.
Your faces are a breath away from each other.
His face looks worried, distraught even.
“Please baby, let me explain. What you saw and heard is not what you thought. I swear on my life. Please…”
A tear falls down your cheek and he wipes it away as he now cradles your face in his large hands.
You wordlessly nod to him.
“Shit, okay. Thank you.” he lets out a breath
“That day I had volunteered to be a medic on the local SWAT team. A bullet had grazed me and I had my shirt off to try and clean the wound on the back of my shoulder.”
You don't break eye contact as he speaks
“Mohan had walked in looking for a patient that had apparently been in the same room but left. She was explaining his treatment, practically ignoring me and my injury. She only noticed because I struggled to clean it. I told her that I didn't want a chart and for the injury to be kept off the books. She said okay and that it would be our secret.”
Your heart races at the new information.
“My injury was the secret. Not any relationship of any kind with her. I can call her if you don't bel-”
You instantly wrap him in a hug.
“No, no it's okay J. I-I can't believe I thought that—Im so sorry.”
Jack feels your chest shake as you start to cry.
“Sweetheart, it's okay. Please dont cry.” he coos in your ear.
You sniff against his chest and then look at him.
“Is your shoulder okay?”
“Yeah sweetheart” he chuckles “It's on the mend.”
He pulls your face closer to his.
“Now what was what you said about loving me?” he smirks.
Warmth spreads across your face in shock as you remember what you said.
“Oh my god, I'm sorry. Please ignore me. I completely understand if you don't feel the same.”
“Oh honey,” his lips barely touch yours “Trust me, I definitely fucking love you too.”
Next thing you know, his lips are on yours, claiming you differently now.
You moan into his mouth as you slowly make out.
Jack pulls back a bit.
“Oh my god” you slap your forehead “I ruined dinner. Shit.”
“You didn't ruin dinner. You didn't ruin anything. I only planned dinner to tell you I love you and want you to be my girlfriend. I wanted you to see I was serious. We can still order in if you want?” he says rubbing your arms.
“Yes.” you breathe out.
“To ordering in?”
“To being your girlfriend.”
He smiles impossibly wide.
“Thank god for that.”
“But yes to dinner too J” you giggle.
He pulls you into another hug.
“I can work with that, my beautiful girlfriend.”
“Youre the best, my handsome boyfriend.”