Archive of Our Own

Carina knew she was getting sick.

She also knew she wasn't sick yet.

There was a difference.

She'd known something was off the moment she'd opened her eyes.

Her throat felt dry and scratchy, her nose was stubbornly blocked on one side, and there was a strange heaviness settled over her entire body that made even the thought of getting out of bed feel like an unreasonable amount of effort.

She'd lain there for far too long, blinking sleepily at the ceiling and trying to work out why she felt so tired.

Then she'd swallowed.

And winced.

Oh.

She'd had the occasional cough too. Nothing dramatic. Nothing that couldn't be explained away by a dry throat first thing in the morning.

A stuffy nose didn't count. Neither did a sore throat, or the occasional cough, or the fact that her entire body felt like it had been replaced overnight with a significantly heavier and less cooperative version of itself.

It was probably the start of a cold.

That was all.

And it was Friday.

So she could make it through one more day with the beginnings of a cold.

She stood in front of the bathroom mirror, toothbrush hanging loosely from one hand, and stared at her reflection.

Her eyes looked tired.

Really tired.

There were faint shadows underneath them, and her hair was sticking up in several directions despite her having slept for…

She paused.

How long had she slept?

She'd fallen asleep not long after putting Liam and Andrea to bed, before Maya had even got home from work. She vaguely recalled Maya climbing into bed and kissing her shoulder. Maybe a toddler at some point early this morning.

She’d barely stirred.

That was probably why she felt so sluggish now.

Too much sleep.

That was all.

Carina glanced at the clock.

“Merda.”

She hadn't overslept, not exactly. But she'd somehow managed to lose almost half an hour lying completely motionless beneath the duvet.

She turned back to the mirror and sniffed.

Her nose was blocked again.

She swallowed against the scratchiness in her throat.

“I'm fine.” Her reflection looked distinctly unconvinced. Carina pointed the toothbrush at herself. “It's a cold. You've dealt with worse at work. Including contractions. You can survive thi-"

The cough caught her by surprise.

She bent forward, coughing into her elbow until her chest hurt and her eyes watered. The sound seemed impossibly loud in the quiet bathroom, and she squeezed her eyes shut as another cough followed the first.

When it finally passed, she stayed there for a moment, one hand braced against the counter, breathing carefully through her mouth.

Her throat burned.

Her chest felt tight and irritated.

She waited another few seconds before straightening.

“Just a cold.”

She reached for the toothpaste.

There was absolutely no reason she couldn't go to work.

After brushing her teeth, she threw her hair into a quick, albeit slightly messy, braid and pulled on her comfiest pair of scrubs. Reluctantly, she reached for the concealer, dabbing some under each eye to try and cover the dark circles there.

It didn't make much difference.

She added another little bit.

Better.

Or at least, less obvious.

She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and picked up her phone from beside the bed. The screen lit up with several notifications, including a message from work and a photo Maya had apparently sent sometime during the night.

Carina opened it.

A blurry picture of Liam and Andrea asleep in their bed stared back at her, both of them sprawled in completely ridiculous positions. When had Liam joined them? And why was his foot in her face?

Despite herself, she smiled.

Then she sniffed.

She slipped her phone into her pocket and headed downstairs to the chaos that was breakfast with two toddlers.

"I was just coming to check where you were," Maya said sweetly, drawing her into a one armed hug, the other busy feeding their one year old daughter. "I made you a coffee and some toast."

Carina leaned against her a little more than intended and smiled. "Bellissima, grazie."

"No problem. Tired?" Maya asked, kissing the top of Carina's head as she sat down.

"Mmm." Carina nodded, settling into her chair. "Thank you for getting up with them."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Maya smiled and turned back to their daughter, who immediately decided she was done with being fed and began enthusiastically smearing banana across her tray.

Carina managed a small laugh.

She picked up her coffee. The smell usually made her feel human. This morning, it did very little. She took a cautious sip anyway, then reached for her toast. She managed one bite, chewing slowly, before putting it back down.

Her throat felt unpleasantly raw.

Maybe she needed more coffee.

Across the table, Liam was loudly explaining something that appeared to involve dinosaurs, superheroes and the fact that Andrea had stolen his spoon.

"Mine!"

"No, mine!"

"Liam, sweetheart, you have another spoon," Maya said, trying to intercept the second spoon before it could become a weapon.

"I want that one!"

Carina winced at the sudden shriek.

It was barely noticeable.

But Maya noticed.

Her eyes flicked toward Carina momentarily before Liam shouted again.

“I got it! My spoon!”

Andrea’s bottom lip jutted out.

“Give it back to Drea please.”

“NO!”

Maya finally managed to retrieve the spoon and hand it back to Andrea, who immediately dropped it onto the floor.

Liam gasped as though he'd just witnessed a crime.

“She threw it!”

“She did,” Maya agreed solemnly.

“On purpose!”

Andrea babbled happily, apparently unconcerned with the accusation.

Carina smiled into her coffee.

Normally, she would have joined in by now. She would have backed Maya up as she tried to negotiate with a four-year-old who had inherited both of their stubbornness.

Instead, she sat quietly, listening to the familiar morning chaos swirl around her.

Carina reached for her coffee again, rubbing absentmindedly at the side of her nose before sniffing quietly.

Maya watched her for another few seconds.

“You okay?”

Carina nodded quickly. “Mhm.”

Maya's eyes lingered on her for a moment.

Carina took another sip of coffee, mostly to give herself something to do.

She didn't touch her toast again.

Instead, she reached forwards and ripped off a paper towel from the holder on the table, blowing her nose.

"Mamma sounds like an elephant!" Liam giggled.

Carina looked at him over the crumpled paper towel, raising an eyebrow.

“Cosa?”
[what?]

“Un grande elefante!” Liam announced, delighted with himself.
[a big elephant]

Carina sniffed, then cleared her throat before answering.

"Sembro un elefante?"
[I sound like an elephant?]

"Sì!"

Maya laughed softly from beside her.

“You do,” she said, leaning over to kiss Carina's temple.

Carina gave her an exaggerated look of betrayal before leaning closer to Liam.

"Forse sono un elefante!" She said in an exaggerated whisper.
[Maybe I am an elephant]

"No, Mamma!" Liam protested immediately, apparently horrified by the possibility. “Sei Mamma!”

"Sono la mamma? Non un elefante?" Carina laughed, trying to suppress the cough that followed.
[I'm Mamma? Not an elephant?]

She turned her head quickly, covering her mouth with her fist as a cough broke free.

It was only one at first.

Then another.

And another.

She tried to suppress them, shoulders hunching as she swallowed against the tickle in her throat, but that only seemed to make it worse. Her chest tightened unpleasantly, and by the time the coughing finally eased, her eyes were watering.

Carina took a careful breath through her nose.

Bad idea.

She coughed once more, quieter this time, then cleared her throat and reached for her coffee.

"You okay?"

Carina looked up. "Hmm?"

"I asked if you were okay."

“I’m fine.” She shrugged, lifting the mug to her lips and taking another sip.

Maya raised an eyebrow.

Carina sniffled and lowered the mug.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, a little more convincingly this time.

Maya's expression softened.

“Carina.”

Carina sighed.

“It's nothing.”

“Mmm-hmm?”

“It's just a cold.” She waved one hand dismissively, picking up her toast slice again. “Well, the beginnings of one.”

Maya paused.

"A cold?"

"Yup," Carina swallowed, failing to hide her wince when her throat felt like it was being sliced.

"When did that happen?"

Carina shrugged. “Woke up with it.”

She reached for the paper towel again, pressing it briefly beneath her nose.

“But I'm fine. And I have a clinic to run, and I'm probably running late.”

Maya watched as she stood and leaned down to kiss each of the children on the head.

Liam accepted his kiss with a distracted, “Bye, Mamma,” while Andrea grabbed at Carina's braid and giggled.

Carina smiled, gently rescuing her hair from tiny fingers.

“See? Perfectly fine.”

Maya didn't answer immediately.

"How bad's the sore throat?"

Carina looked at her. "How did you-"

"You've swallowed about fifty times since you came downstairs."

Carina opened her mouth.

Closed it.

Maya gave her a knowing smile.

"And you've barely eaten."

"I'm not hungry."

It was true. She wasn't particularly hungry, which was not like her. She usually woke up with her stomach rumbling and had to eat something before she was even properly awake.

Today, the thought of food made her throat burn at the thought.

"You love toast."

"I still love toast."

"You haven't touched it."

Carina glanced down at the abandoned slice on her plate.

It looked perfectly good.

Normally, she would have eaten it without thinking.

She picked it up, took a small bite purely to prove her point, and chewed.

Her throat protested almost immediately.

She swallowed with a grimace and set the toast back down.

Maya's eyebrow rose.

Carina sighed.

"Okay," she conceded quietly. "Maybe I don't feel completely brilliant."

Maya rested her arms on Carina's shoulders. "Then take the day off."

Carina gave her a look. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"My boss won't let me take a sick day," Carina answered, reaching for her bag.

Maya frowned at her then laughed.

"Your boss?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Carina, you're the boss."

"I know."

"You own the clinic."

"I know."

"So you can give yourself the day off."

Carina slipped her feet into her shoes.

"And yet, I'm not because I don't need it.” She straightened and picked up her bag. “It's the very beginning of a cold, my love. I've worked through worse.”

"Doesn't mean you have to."

“I know.” Carina smiled, reaching out to squeeze Maya's arm. “But really, I'm fine. Just a tad congested with the start of a sore throat.”

Maya looked at her for a long moment.

Carina knew that look.

It was the same look Maya gave her when she knew Carina was leaving something out.

“What?”

“Come here.”

Carina frowned.

“Why? I'm gonna be late.”

“Let me feel your forehead.”

"Maya-"

"Come here."

There was something in Maya's tone that told Carina arguing wasn't going to get her anywhere.

She sighed and stepped closer.

Maya pressed the back of her hand against Carina's forehead, then moved it to her cheek.

Carina stood patiently for approximately three seconds before she tried to pull away.

"Hmmm."

"I'm not feverish."

"I didn't say you were," Maya said, pulling her closer again, cupping Carina’s cheeks with her hands. She brushed her thumb under Carina’s eye. "But you are warm."

Carina gave her a look. “Our house is warm." She gestured vaguely around them as if the entire room were evidence in her defense.

Maya's expression softened. She let her hand fall, but only after giving Carina's cheek one last gentle stroke.

"Take some Tylenol before you go."

"I don't have a fever."

"But you do have a headache."

"I don't have a headache."

"You've been rubbing your temples since you came downstairs."

Carina blinked.

“I have?”

“Yes.”

“Huh.”

Maya smiled.

"I have a very observant wife."

"Unfortunately for you." Maya crossed to the kitchen counter and opened the cupboard, retrieving the bottle of Tylenol.

Carina sighed dramatically, but stayed.

"You're very bossy."

"And you're very stubborn."

"I prefer determined."

"I know you do."

Maya shook two tablets into her palm and handed them over with a glass of water.

Carina stared at them. Then at her wife.

“You know I really don’t-”

“Just take the damn pills, Carina.”

She sighed.

“Bossy.”

Maya’s mouth twitched into a smile.

Carina took the tablets and swallowed them with the water.

The movement made her throat sting sharply, and she couldn't quite stop the small wince that crossed her face.

Maya noticed.

Of course she noticed.

Carina glanced at the clock.

Her eyes widened.

"Late."

Carina grabbed her bag from beside the counter, then leaned down to kiss Liam's cheek again.

"Ciao, pulcino."

"Ciao, Mamma!"

She kissed Andrea's soft, chubby cheek next, earning a delighted little squeal.

Then she straightened and turned back to Maya.

"See? Perfectly functional. It’s just the beginning of a cold."

Maya folded her arms.

"Text me when you get there."

"I will."

"And if you feel worse-"

"I'll tell you."

Maya gave her a look.

Carina smiled innocently.

"I will."

"You'd better."

Carina leaned in and kissed her, lingering for just a second.

"I'm fine, my love."

Maya sighed against her lips.

"Sure you are. Go to work, doctor."

Carina smiled and headed for the door.

Maya watched her go.

She waited until the front door closed before looking back at the children.

Liam was still attempting to convince his sister that the spoon she'd stolen was, in fact, his.

Andrea responded by putting it in her mouth, then once again dropping it on the floor.

Maya smiled faintly.

"Okay, you two." Neither child paid her much attention. "Looks like we're going to daycare."

She scooped Andrea up from her highchair, earning an enthusiastic squeal as the toddler immediately grabbed for her mother's hair.

“Hey, hey, gentle.”

Andrea giggled and buried her face against Maya's shoulder.

Maya glanced toward the door.

Carina had only been awake for an hour and had already looked exhausted.

Not just tired.

Exhausted.

She'd tried to hide it, of course. Carina was very good at that. A little too good, sometimes.

Maya knew her wife.

She knew that particular look- the slightly glassy eyes, the slower movements, the way Carina kept swallowing as though her throat hurt and insisted she was perfectly fine anyway.

Carina would insist she was fine right up until she wasn't.

And Maya had a feeling that was exactly what was going to happen.

She glanced toward the driveway where Carina was pulling out of, then down at Andrea, who was now attempting to chew on the collar of Maya's shirt.

Maya sighed.

She loved her wife.

She really did.

But sometimes Carina made looking after her unnecessarily difficult.

Maya adjusted Andrea against her hip and reached to pull Liam’s chair out.

"Your mamma," she said to Andrea, "is so stubborn! ‘Just a cold’ my butt!"

Carina knew Maya had been worrying over nothing.

At least, that was what she told herself as she made her way into her office.

By the time she'd arrived at the clinic, she was feeling better.

Not completely herself, perhaps, but better.

The heaviness she'd woken up with had faded into the background, and once she'd started moving around, she'd stopped noticing how tired she was. The Tylenol had probably helped, too. Her throat was still scratchy, and her nose was annoyingly blocked on one side and running on the other, but neither was particularly bothersome.

The most irritating part was the constant need to wipe her nose.

She'd already gone through two tissues before she'd even finished opening the clinic.

There wasn't much she could do about that.

So she got on with her day.

She unlocked the doors, turned on the lights, had a morning meeting (where three of her staff members asked if she was okay), checked that everything was ready for the morning appointments, and settled behind her desk to look through her schedule.

A full day.

Not impossibly full, but busy enough that she wouldn't have much time to think about how she was feeling.

Good.

It was just what she needed.

She couldn’t imagine how behind she would have been if she’d taken the day off like her wife suggested.

She checked her list of appointments, answered a handful of emails, returned two phone calls and made a note to chase up some paperwork that had been sitting on her desk for longer than she'd intended.

By the time her first patient arrived, she was already moving on autopilot.

And, for the most part, it worked.

The first couple of hours passed without incident.

Carina saw her patients, smiled when she needed to smile, listened, examined, reassured. She moved from one patient to the next with the same calm efficiency she always had, asking questions, taking notes and explaining things carefully. She’d even had time to jump on a phone consult with a colleague in Michigan who had a client with a severe bicornuate uterus, who Carina had happily accepted into her pro-bono surgery list for the following week.

She even forgot about the cold for stretches of time.

Then, inevitably, she'd swallow.

And remember.

Her throat felt raw now, the soreness having settled into something deeper and more persistent. It wasn't unbearable, but it was there every time she swallowed, a steady reminder that her body was fighting something whether she wanted it to or not.

She kept a bottle of water beside her, taking small sips between patients.

It helped.

For about thirty seconds.

Then the dryness would return, followed by that familiar scratch at the back of her throat.

Her nose was worse, too.

She'd started keeping a box of tissues on her desk and another over by her examination table, and she was beginning to resent every one of them.

At some point, she caught herself rubbing beneath her nose and sighed.

“Very attractive,” she muttered to herself.

She sniffed.

Then immediately regretted it when the pressure in her sinuses made her head throb faintly.

Nothing serious.

Just annoying.

Every time she swallowed, she became oddly aware of the saliva gathering in her mouth, and after several hours of doing it over and over again, she was beginning to feel vaguely queasy.

She paused in the corridor between appointments, pressing her tongue briefly against the roof of her mouth and taking a slow breath.

Still, it was nothing another dose of Tylenol and ice water from the staff room couldn't fix.

So she refilled her bottle, took another dose when she was able to, and returned to work.

By late morning, she was beginning to feel the weight of the tiredness she'd been ignoring.

Her movements were a fraction slower.

She found herself sitting down whenever she had a spare minute rather than standing at her desk.

And every now and then, a cough would catch at the back of her throat.

Small.

Dry.

Easy enough to suppress.

She ignored those, too.

There were patients waiting, people to care for.

Her next appointment was already running a few minutes behind, and Carina didn't have time to sit around worrying about a cold.

She sat at her desk and pulled up the intake notes for her next patient, sipping on her water as she read. Two minutes later she called her in, and the cold was forgotten about as she started the lengthy history taking process with this patient.

"Okay," she said after talking for twenty minutes about the patient’s pain and symptoms. "I want you to have a scan, but we have no more appointments for today. I can have our receptionist schedule you in on any of the days next week to see our pelvic radiographer for an ultrasound followed by an MRI at our partner facility, Grey Sloan. But before you go, I just want to have a feel of your tummy, make sure there's no underlying concern like a cyst."

"Is that possible?"

"Listening to your history, I'd say no, but I always like to rule it out. You're welcome to decline, it's not essential, but it might give you some peace of mind," Carina added, taking a sip of her water, as she stood.

"You can check."

"Perfect, okay, get yourself settled on here," Carina said, drawing a piece of paper across the bed for the patient. "And just roll your top up so I can see your tummy."

The patient nodded, then hesitated.

"Is it going to hurt?"

"It shouldn't. I'll be gentle, and I'll tell you what I'm doing as I go. If anything is uncomfortable, just let me know and I'll stop."

"Okay."

"Perfect."

Carina took another sip of water, then set her bottle on the windowsill, waiting for her patient to settle.

"I'm bloated today. Sorry." The patient mumbled as she pulled up her top.

"There's nothing to worry about. Are you comfy?"

She nodded again.

"Nice deep breath and relax for me."

As always, Carina took the deep breath with the patient.

She got halfway through it before the familiar tickle caught her throat.

Carina turned her head and coughed into her elbow, trying to keep the sound quiet.

One cough.

Then another.

She cleared her throat, blinking rapidly as her eyes watered.

“Sorry,” she half-spluttered, reaching for her bottle.

She took a couple of careful sips, letting the cold water soothe the irritation before setting the bottle down again.

Then she sanitised her hands once more and turned her attention back to her patient.

“My apologies, the air-con always dries my throat out,” Carina gave her a reassuring smile. “Let’s try that again. Nice deep, relaxing breath.”

This time she refrained from joining in and just coached the patient until she was sure they were calmer.

"Feeling relaxed?"

"Yes."

“Good.”

Carina smiled reassuringly.

“Then let's have a look.”

She placed her hands gently against the woman's lower abdomen.

"Tell me if anything feels tender, or if you need me to stop."

The patient nodded.

Carina started with a light palpation, working methodically across the abdomen.

"Any pain here?"

"No."

"And here?"

"No."

She moved lower.

"What about here?"

"A little."

"Okay."

Carina pressed slightly more gently over the area.

"Is that the same pain you get at home?"

"Sort of. It's more of an ache usually. This is kind of shooting?"

"Okay."

Carina nodded, making a mental note, as she moved her hand across the lower abdomen again.

"Any tenderness on this side?"

"A little bit."

“About the same?”

"Yeah. Sort of the same as the other side."

She paused briefly before moving back toward the centre.

Her stomach turned.

It was so sudden that for a second she didn't understand what was happening.

She stopped.

Her hands remained still against the patient's abdomen.

Another wave rolled through her stomach.

Not pain.

Nausea.

Carina's breath caught.

For one awful second, she thought she might actually be sick.

Her mouth suddenly filled with saliva.

She swallowed.

The movement only made the nausea worse.

Carina turned her head away from the patient, taking a slow breath through her nose.

Don't be sick. Don't be sick.

She stayed perfectly still, willing the sensation to pass.

Maybe it would.

Maybe this was just because she hadn't eaten enough.

She could manage a little nausea.

She'd dealt with worse.

Carina forced herself to look back at her patient, keeping her expression neutral.

"I'm not concerned," she said, forcing her voice to remain even. “Everything feels okay.”

“It's okay?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

She swallowed carefully, keeping her face composed when another unpleasant wave moved through her stomach.

“You can hop up and get yourself booked in with the radiographer. I'll arrange a follow-up appointment after.”

“Okay.”

Carina removed her hands and stepped back from the examination table.

“I'll just give you a minute.”

The patient nodded and began pulling her top back down.

Carina turned away.

She waited.

And waited.

The nausea wasn't getting worse.

That was something.

But it wasn't going away either.

She could feel saliva gathering in her mouth again, a warning she was beginning to recognise.

She swallowed.

Her stomach rolled hard in response.

Carina closed her eyes for a second.

Not here.

She took another slow breath and glanced over at the patient, who was now fighting with the button of her jeans.

She couldn’t wait much longer.

“You can-”

She stopped to swallow.

The word came out rougher than she'd intended.

“-see yourself out. I just need to…”

She pointed vaguely over her shoulder towards the door.

The patient looked at her for a moment, perhaps noticing the slight pallor in her face.

“Okay. Thanks, Dr DeLuca.”

“My pleasure.”

Carina managed a smile.

Then she slipped out of the room and walked quickly down the corridor.

The bathroom was only a few doors away.

She pushed inside, barely registering whether anyone else was in there, and beelined it into the nearest stall.

The lock clicked into place.

Carina sank down onto her knees.

For a moment, she simply breathed.

Then she leaned forward, resting her forearms against the toilet seat and her forehead against her hands.

"Okay."

She waited.

Nothing.

Another wave of nausea rose.

Carina's mouth watered.

She swallowed.

The movement made her stomach turn again, and she pushed herself up onto her knees, leaning closer to the toilet just in case.

Nothing.

She stayed there anyway.

“Come on,” she whispered.

One hand moved absently over her stomach.

“Just… come on.”

Nothing.

She waited another minute.

Still nothing.

Carina let out a slow breath through her nose.

Maybe that was a good thing.

Maybe it meant she wasn't actually going to be sick.

Or maybe-

Another wave hit.

Carina's stomach clenched.

She swallowed hard and leaned forward again, waiting for it to happen.

It didn't.

The sensation ebbed, leaving behind a horrible, unsettled feeling that made her feel almost more miserable than actually being sick would have.

“Really,” she muttered.

She stayed there anyway.

Five minutes passed.

Maybe ten.

Time became difficult to keep track of.

Every so often, she'd become convinced that this was it. That she was finally going to be sick. She'd tense, lean forward and wait-

Only for the nausea to ease again.

Eventually, Carina sat back against the stall wall.

Her head rested against the partition, and she closed her eyes..

She felt awful.

Not violently ill.

Not even particularly sick to her stomach anymore.

Just... miserable.

Her nose was completely blocked now, her throat hurt every time she swallowed, and there was a dull ache behind her eyes that had settled into a persistent headache. Her body felt heavy and vaguely sore, as though she'd done far more than simply spend a morning seeing patients.

And now, she'd spent the last ten minutes sitting on a bathroom floor waiting to throw up.

She closed her eyes.

This wasn't just a cold.

Or maybe it was.

She didn't know.

And that was the problem.

If it was a cold, she could probably work, see the rest of her patients and crash when she got home.

If it was the beginning of something else, she shouldn't be anywhere near her patients.

Carina sighed.

"Okay."

She needed to be sensible.

Unfortunately, being sensible meant admitting she couldn't work.

That was going to be inconvenient.

Carina placed both hands against her thighs and slowly pushed herself upright.

For a second, the room tilted slightly.

She stopped.

Waited.

The sensation passed.

“Right.”

She unlocked the stall and stepped out, washing her hands thoroughly before looking at herself in the mirror.

She looked pale.

Tired.

Her nose was pink from constantly wiping it, her eyes looked glassy, and there were faint shadows beneath them that hadn't been nearly as noticeable that morning.

Carina stared at her reflection.

She grabbed another paper towel and blew her nose, then threw it away and splashed some cool water over her face.

That helped.

A little.

Enough to convince herself she could at least make it back to her office.

She stepped into the corridor and was relieved to see that the patient she'd been examining had already left.

Good.

The last thing she needed was to explain why she'd disappeared into the bathroom for ten- fifteen- minutes.

She sank into her chair.

For a moment, she simply sat there.

Her eyes fell on the day's schedule.

There were still several patients left.

She stared at their names.

Then at the clock.

Then back at the schedule.

A quiet sigh escaped her.

“Allora.”

As the owner of the clinic, there wasn't anyone else she could hand the decision to. She couldn't simply tell someone she was too unwell to work and wait for a manager to sort everything out.

She was the manager.

She was the boss.

Which meant if she was going home, she needed to make sure the clinic could function without her.

Carina pulled up the appointment list and started going through it carefully.

She made a note beside each name, working through the schedule one appointment at a time.

Then she checked which of the staff were available and called the receptionist into her office.

“I need to cancel the rest of my appointments.”

The receptionist looked at her.

“Okay… are you okay, Dr. DeLuca-Bishop?”

Carina opened her mouth.

The automatic I'm fine was already there.

She stopped herself.

“I’m… not feeling… my best.”

It felt strange saying it aloud.

The receptionist nodded immediately. “You didn’t look very well this morning.”

Carina closed her eyes and chuckled. She’d done a terrible job at convincing everyone that she was fine, clearly.

“Do you want me to move everyone to next week?”

“Yes, please.”

“Holly Hoban and Faye Kinsel are already in the waiting room. Would you like me to reschedule them to next week too?”

Carina paused, thinking. She could probably see them. Faye was here for a birth-plan meeting and Holly was here to have her IUD removed. They were both easy enough appointments. She opened her mouth to tell the receptionist she could see them when she stopped herself.

She was sick.

She’d nearly thrown up.

She couldn’t work.

“Can you ask Dr Patel to see them, she should have space on her schedule. If Diya can’t fit them in, then have Sarah or Lola do Faye’s birth plan. And have Dr. Choi do Holly’s IUD. The others can be contacted and rescheduled. I can work late to accommodate them.”

“Okay.”

“And make sure nobody is left waiting for a call. If they need anything urgently, they can speak to one of the other doctors. Or one of the midwives.”

“Of course.”

Carina nodded.

“And could you let the staff know I'm going home?”

The receptionist smiled sympathetically.

“I will.”

Carina hesitated.

Then, quieter, “Thank you.”

Once the door closed again, Carina leaned back in her chair.

The clinic would be fine.

Her patients would be fine.

Everything was organised.

There was no reason she couldn't go home now.

She reached for her phone.

Maya's name was already at the top of her recent calls.

Carina stared at it for a second.

She could imagine exactly what Maya was going to say.

I told you so.

Carina sighed.

Then she pressed call.

"Hi, my love. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Cosa?"

"To pick you up."

Carina let out a tiny, exhausted laugh.

"You don't even know why I'm calling."

"I know."

There was no teasing in Maya's voice.

No I told you so.

Just quiet certainty.

Carina swallowed.

"I don't feel very good."

"I know."

"I got nauseous with a patient."

"Okay."

"I don't know if it's the cold or-"

"Okay."

Carina closed her eyes.

"Twenty minutes?"

"Yes," Maya confirmed. "Go lie down, okay? I'll be there soon."

Carina nodded despite knowing Maya couldn't see her.

"Love you."

"Love you too," Maya replied, "see you soon, baby."

"See you soon."

They hung up.

Carina looked at the examination table in the corner of her office.

She sighed and hauled herself up.

Maya stood in the doorway for a moment, watching her.

She was curled up on the examination table.

Shoes still on.

One hand tucked beneath her cheek.

There was no satisfaction in being right.

No ‘I told you so’.

Just affection.

And a little worry.

She crossed the room quietly and brushed a strand of hair away from Carina's face.

"You're here," Carina said without opening her eyes.

"I am, how's this tummy?" She asked, resting her hand under Carina’s scrub top.

"Weird. It's not throw-up-all-night, stomach-bug sick, but it's also not exactly right."

"Queasy?" Maya offered, resting her hand on Carina's forehead.

"Mmm. Where are the babies?" Carina asked, finally opening her eyes and realising her toddlers were not asleep in a stroller somewhere.

"Daycare, dropped them off this morning. And Jack and Andy are going to have them tonight."

"You knew."

"I had a feeling," Maya said, pulling her upright. "You didn't exactly look well this morning."

"I feel worse now."

"Perfect excuse for cuddles in bed then," Maya chuckled, kissing the top of her head. "I parked out back so you can escape without seeing any of your patients."

"I feel bad I had to cancel," Carina said, letting Maya pull her up.

"You'll be a better doctor when you're not sick," Maya reassured her, helping her into her coat.

Carina slipped her arms into her coat, then paused as she straightened.

For a second, the room swayed.

Maya's hands immediately tightened around her waist.

"Easy."

"I'm okay."

"I know."

Carina gave her a tired look.

Maya smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Come on."

Carina let herself lean into her as they walked toward the door.

For once, she didn't feel the need to prove anything.

She just wanted to go home.

"Couch or bed?" Maya asked, as she slipped Carina's shoes off her feet.

"Bed," Carina mumbled, "definitely bed."

"Come on then," Maya said, wrapping an arm around her and guiding her upstairs.

Carina was already feeling a little better.

Not well.

Definitely not well.

But the nausea had settled into the background, leaving behind the familiar heaviness of the cold. Her head still ached, her throat hurt, and her nose was completely blocked, but at least she no longer felt like she might be sick every time she swallowed.

Once they reached the bedroom, Maya helped her out of her coat.

"Okay," Maya said. "You get comfortable."

Carina looked toward the bed.

Then stopped.

She blinked.

"What is all that?" She pointed to the bedside table.

Arranged neatly in a way only her wife could, Carina's night stand was full of the things someone who was sick might need. A fresh box of tissues, a bottle of water, packets of electrolytes, lip balm, Tylenol, throat lozenges, some easy to eat snacks, hair ties. Next to it, on the bed, there was the softest looking blanket in the world and a neatly folded pair of pyjamas she'd never seen before.

"I went shopping," Maya shrugged.

"You made me a sick station. You knew I'd be coming home."

"I suspected."

"You knew."

"I know my wife,” Maya wrapped her in a hug, “and my wife looked like shit this morning.”

Carina sighed, but there was a smile threatening at the corner of her mouth.

"Thank you, bambina."

"Of course! Now, scrubs off!"

"Wow, getting your sick wife to strip, real classy," Carina laughed and then immediately coughed.

She covered her mouth with her hand, bending at her waist a little.

Maya stepped closer, rubbing gently between her shoulder blades until the cough passed.

"Sorry."

"You don't have to apologise."

Carina sniffled. "I'm contaminating you."

"You're my wife."

"That doesn't make my germs less contagious."

"No, but it makes me willing to take the risk."

Carina gave her a tired smile.

Maya reached for the pyjamas. "You don't have to wear them, by the way."

Carina looked at her.

"I just thought they looked cosy," Maya repeated. "You can wear whatever you want."

Carina ran her fingers over the soft fabric.

"I like them."

"I knew you would."

"I'm surprised you're going to let me wear long-sleeved fuzzy pyjamas, though."

"Why?"

"I thought you would assume I have a fever and make me wear shorts."

"Do you have a fever?" Maya asked, settling her hand on Carina's forehead.

Carina put her own hand next to Maya’s, "I don't think so?"

Maya brushed her thumb up and down over Carina's temple before withdrawing her hand. "Okay, no fever."

"Good, the last thing I want is a fever. Or to throw up."

Maya kissed her forehead and handed her the pyjamas.

"Get changed. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"Just downstairs for a second. I forgot something."

Carina nodded, too tired to question it.

She changed slowly, shedding her scrubs and pulling on the soft pyjamas. By the time she was dressed, she was already feeling the weight of the day settling over her again.

Her body ached. Not badly. Just enough that she became aware of it whenever she moved.

Her head felt heavy, her throat was still scratchy, and every few breaths she had to sniffle because her nose refused to cooperate.

She climbed onto the bed and pulled the duvet around herself.

Maya returned a moment later.

Carina looked at what she was carrying.

"No."

Maya held up the small, all too familiar red bowl.

"Yes."

"I'm not going to be sick."

"I know."

"Then why have you brought the sick bowl?"

"You got so nauseous at work you thought you were going to throw up on a patient."

Carina opened her mouth.

Maya raised an eyebrow.

Carina closed it again.

"Fine."

Maya placed the bowl on the floor beside the bed.

"Just in case."

"It's not needed."

"Probably not."

Carina sniffled.

"I'll run if it gets to that point."

"Just in case."

Carina smiled sleepily.

Maya climbed into bed beside her.

Immediately, Carina shifted closer.

Maya opened her arms and Carina tucked herself against her, resting her head beneath Maya's chin.

There was a quiet sigh as she finally settled.

"Better?"

"Mmm."

Maya pulled the duvet higher around her and began rubbing slow circles between her shoulder blades.

Carina closed her eyes.

The room was quiet.

Warm.

Safe.

She could feel the ache in her muscles deepen now that she wasn't moving around and the slight chill that kept making her want to burrow further beneath the blankets.

Her nose was so blocked she had to breathe through her mouth, which made her throat feel even drier.

Maya reached for the water and held it out.

"Drink."

Carina opened one eye.

"Bossy."

"Drink."

She took a few small sips.

"Grazie."

"You're welcome."

She settled back against Maya.

A minute later, another cough caught her.
It was deeper this time, making her curl slightly inward.

Maya's hand immediately moved over her back, rubbing gently until it passed.

Carina breathed out shakily.

"That one hurt."

"I know."

"My chest is sore."

"It's probably all the coughing."

"Mmm."

Maya kissed the top of her head.

Carina was quiet for a moment before murmuring, "I really don't feel very good."

There was no embarrassment in it this time.

No insistence that she was fine.

Just an exhausted admission.

Maya tightened her arms around her. "I know, babe."

Carina snuggled closer.

"Can we stay here all day?"

"Of course."

Carina let her eyes close again.

Maya kept rubbing her back, slow and steady, and Carina finally let herself relax completely into her.

"Stupido cold."

Maya chuckled. "Stupid cold. And stupid boss for not letting you take the day off work.”

Carina hummed a laugh, “she’s a real piece of work.”

Maya pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Get some sleep, sickie.”

“I’m too tired to argue.”