Chapter Text
Societal standards, a cruel practice that can either benefit or harm those involved in any particular circumstances. Its opinions stuck unmoving and gradually seeping into everyday lives, no matter if you cannot change what sector you are naturally under.
This underlying issue is no stranger to the many growing athletes, as they face constant pressure and challenges in order to climb to the top. Just as they are about to reach the finishing goal, touch the final torch, the floor beneath them crumbles into dust as they fall through into an endless abyss of failure.
Was it because they missed a step? A small yet fatal mistake that caused them to tip over the iceberg and slam into the ever-freezing waters before the finish line?
…Or was it because they weren’t born with the assets that were deemed ideal by the standards of society?
As an omega, working twice as hard is something not difficult to come by. Shunned away because society thinks they’re weak, as most fiction has written them to be. Some of them are strong enough to lift a thousand seas, craft unique masterpieces with their hands, and illustrate poems beautiful enough to touch and inspire people’s hearts.
Yet, even after proving themselves over and over, they will always be diluted to that role commonly misunderstood under society’s eyes.
When a student hits their second year of high school, the higher-ups immediately take action on providing medical tests for their sub-genders as they normally present themselves during this period of time. This was mainly to help them identify and estimate their presentation date, so they would not cause too much of a scene when it happens. Many grow nervous each passing day after the tests whenever results day nears, and rightfully so. A single word on a paper can change the trajectory of your entire life, who wouldn’t be terrified?
Around this age demographic, many students tend to hope towards being an Alpha, as they’re the most biologically dominant group, and most favored. Compared to being either a Beta or Omega, Alphas (ironically) dominate every single sector of the world. No matter if it was in government, or even just a food stall — Alphas are feared, respected, and best of all, adored.
While many students huddled in groups, waiting anxiously for their name to be called into the office. One student in particular was too busy figuring out a math question to even care, itching his head as he struggled profusely.
He didn’t move an inch towards the others until his name was finally called, lifting his head to expose his scrunched up eyebrows.
“Kageyama Tobio, please come to the office to retrieve your results.”
He closed the homework he was working on and ignored the stabbing stares his classmates gave him, walking out the door nonchalantly without much care in the world. In all honesty, he had completely forgotten that his results came out today until recently. Unlike his anxiety-pilled classmates, he was busy grumbling about the fact he hadn’t gotten the math question correct on the third attempt.
At the end of the day, does it really matter? Tobio had bigger problems to deal with, and that includes volleyball. He was aiming for nationals again this year, honing his skills as much as he can everyday so he can smell that court air. He wants to feel the hard cold floor beneath his feet again, the adrenaline rushing through his body as he analyses the court’s condition, and the satisfaction of scoring a point.
He could almost hear the cheers of the crowd, and taste the salt as his sweat fell off his chin. It is arguably the best feeling in the world, and Tobio can never get enough of it.
Though sub-genders never occurred as an issue to him, he can’t help but feel a little nervous when he hears the whispers from the people around him.
“Kageyama’s up? He has to be an Alpha in order to qualify for the Olympics.”
‘Yeah, right.’ Kageyama thought to himself, his eyes twitching a little. ‘I’ll qualify for the Olympics no matter what.’
“No one takes Omegas as professional athletes anymore, he’d better pray hard.”
Kageyama clenched his fist in his pockets, letting it pool with sweat. Keeping his eye contact to a minimum as he slowly reaches the office, just a few more steps and his life would change. Maybe.
“His coach better hope he’s not an Omega.”
“Man, he doesn’t even need to worry. He already exerts Alpha energy before this, it’s basically confirmed.”
Pressure seeps into Tobio’s thoughts as he feels the room grow longer, the door running further away from him. Was it so wrong of him to not want to think or act differently because of some stupid gender reveal? Is it an obligation to be worried, whether or not he was an Alpha or Omega?
Before he knew it, he was standing right before the office doors. Sweat trickled off his temples as he pushed the handle, announcing his arrival. A doctor was sitting by the computer, all while she shifted her fingers through a load of documents. Looking up through her lashes, “You must be Kageyama-kun?”, waving her arm towards the unoccupied seat before her.
He nodded, taking a seat as instructed. Tobio watched intently as she looked through her folder, typed some words into the system, and then looked back at him. “You can tell me whenever you’re ready to receive your results, and questions about it can be asked as well.” Her smile beaming, pulling a singular sheet of paper out from the stack smoothly.
Suddenly, Kageyama’s throat went dry and words died on his tongue. Was he ready? To face the students outside clearly expecting a lot from him, to face his team members with whatever is written on that paper?
Kageyama Tobio has never been a coward, in fact, everyday he wants to experience new heights, see how far he’ll fly if he jumped. Swallowing his anxiety, and nodded. Shifting a little closer towards the table, eager to face the next challenge he had to face. The doctor smiled, placing the document down and pushed it towards him.
There was a brief moment of silence that felt like it went on for forever, it was neither comfortable or unpleasant. Tobio’s fingers wrapped around the piece of paper, starting holes into it, watching as the next few years of his life flashed before his eyes. He trembled a bit, but quickly stopped. Looking at the doctor, who kept a reassuring smile on her face. Kageyama wanted to ask many questions, many stupid ones in fact.
However the initial realization of the news had shocked him, making him be able to think before he spoke. His blue eyes slightly lined with a glimmer, speaking just above a whisper.
“Why do I feel like… I disappointed everyone?”
—
The spring air flourished through the leaves of the cherry blossoms blooming into fruition, swaying side by side as if it danced to the melodic tune of the wind. Shoyou was deep in thought, clutching onto an orange juice he had bought earlier, the milk beside him growing warm.
It was lunch time, but Kageyama was still nowhere to be seen. Hinata knew that the other would get his results during lunch hour, since he managed to sneak a few words in with Tobio before ultimately going downstairs for lunch. Even though he was reminded, multiple times in fact, Shoyou can’t help but be a little impatient. Especially since he had bought the milk out of habit, and it currently now belongs to no one. Staring into the scenery without much care in the world, only left with a lingering curiosity about Tobio’s orientation.
Yamaguchi had joined him in watching the scenery, since Tsukishima seemed to be busy with his sub-gender results as well, seeking the doctor for more insight about the nature of being an Alpha. He took a bite of his onigiri, switching his gaze over to Hinata. “Hey, what’s up with you?” Shoyou shifted in his seat, seemingly shaken out of the trance he was in. “You seem out of it, want to talk about it?”
“I got my results back,” Hinata states, his tone flat. Yamaguchi only hummed in response, eager to hear more. “I’m an Alpha.”
The eyes of the other lit up with interest, speaking with his mouth full after another bite of his food. “You should be relieved! Every student aiming to be an athlete was all hoping to be an Alpha.”
Hinata simply shrugged at that comment. “I don’t feel any different though?”
That was true, Shoyou didn’t feel any different from before he got results and after. Just because he was an Alpha, that doesn’t diminish the fact that he had worked hard to get where he was momentarily. He knew that, but he wasn’t sure that society would understand that. Plus, he’s not exactly the “ideal” look for an Alpha. Normally, they are big and beefy, harbouring a kind of dominating aura that intimidated others. While Hinata…
He’s small in size, not exactly beefy, and still definitely sucked at volleyball. Shoyou isn’t quite there yet, and he fully acknowledges it. Yet, that invisible pressure that others may begin to grow on him that he must uphold that perfect Alpha image clawed at him. He can pretend he cannot hear the whispers in the hallways, or the silent expectations from the gazes of others. However that eventually hurts, even if Shoyou swears he won’t let it affect him.
It’s barely been a few hours since he had received his results from the morning period, and since he was never shy about much, his classmates found out immediately.
“You’re an Alpha? Are you sure you didn’t take the wrong paper?”
“We just didn’t expect that, Hinata. I mean typically Alpha’s are… Nevermind.”
Hinata never wanted this, he cannot change what he was born with. Now, alongside his own dreams of furthering in volleyball, he must also uphold the image of being an Alpha to everyone. Just exhausting to even think about.
A crunch of the onigiri Yamaguchi was eating brought him out of his thoughts once more, looking over to face the unbothered boy who simply indulged in his food before him. Tadashi was an omega, he and Shoyou were the first few who were lucky enough to get their results earlier. If being presented as an Alpha was already a hassle in itself, Hinata cannot begin to imagine how bad it must’ve been for the other.
In his eyes, Yamaguchi improves everyday even if many fail to see the little achievements. In fact, Shoyou was deeply impressed by his progress from first year to now. They both had many heights to climb, but everyday they got better and better.
Maybe to others Tadashi is no longer fit to be an athlete because of a stupid test, or seen as weaker just because he was born something he cannot change. Hinata thinks otherwise, he thinks that Yamaguchi is one of the most interesting and important people in his life, and he cherishes every minute he gets to learn from him even if it’s unintentional.
Tadashi shook his head as he giggled, “Well, I mean there isn’t much difference.” resting his hand on his lap as he stared off to the distance, spotting cherry blossoms piling up on the floor. “It’s just how society sees it, I guess. Even if we don’t necessarily see a ‘change’.”
Societal standards, they’re unfair and rather cruel. Benefiting and harming all those involved, whether they want to be or not.
“That’s unfair though, isn’t it?” Hinata questioned, gripping his juice tightly. Yamaguchi doesn’t reply, a glint of sadness in his eyes knowing people no longer see him as an equal in any circumstance. “To have worked so hard your entire life, only to be diluted into something you cannot change?”
—
Kageyama is avoiding Hinata.
Since lunch itself, Tobio never made his way downstairs to face him. Spending most of the period keeping to his own devices, burying himself in his homework once more. Going as far to avoid eye contact with Hinata as he passed by his classroom, waving the ever-so tempting warm milk he had bought earlier in his hands. Kageyama didn’t spare a glance, or even acknowledged the other’s existence. Not only was this extremely out of character, it was all too sudden, and too much of a coincidence.
Has Kageyama received some horrible news about his sub-gender? Something impactful enough to make the other pull back into the shell of his introversion, even in front of Hinata?
He knew he wouldn’t necessarily have to hide anything from that boy, he could be a serial killer and Hinata would still stick by his side. However, that seemed to be one of the few reasons he cannot bear to tell him that. Kageyama wouldn’t be able to handle the questions, and the worried look in Hinata’s eyes. He was secure in his position, and even more so proud of everything that had happened. Through thick and thin, pain and relief, Tobio wouldn’t change anything about the very moment he was in.
This though… This was different. Plus, it’s not like Hinata did not notice.
Once practice started, all Shoyou did was hover over Kageyama. Silently urging him to speak, flashing a bright smile from time to time. It was tempting, but words refused to leave his throat.
The rest of the team played like normal, all with Ennoshita as captain. He guided the team fairly well, thanks to Sugawara’s guidance, they had already begun preparing for the Inter-high Preliminaries. Nationals were far away, but just within reach if they worked hard enough. Even though training was intense, and left no space for small talk, Hinata never kept his gaze off him.
Considering the fact they both haven’t spoken to each other, Kageyama never got to find out Hinata’s orientation. A gut feeling however told him that Shoyou’s gaze was different, just as sharp as a predator’s. It was like he could spot every sweat droplet sliding down Kageyama’s neck, following it as it seeped into the fabric of his collar. Chills sent down his spine, suddenly unable to move. It was neither out of fear or assurance, more like he felt a sense of want.
A weird foreign sensation clawed at the back of his neck, almost like he was being preyed upon—
Tobio’s thoughts were cut short when Ennoshita yelled for a break, to which everyone slumped down onto the floor to get comfortable. He can now confirm that Hinata’s eyes were no longer on him, and instead moved over to speak to Yamaguchi. Plus, that weird stinging sensation was no longer present. While the boy was distracted, Kageyama took the chance to snap out of it and have a chat with Ennoshita, who was busy drinking water.
“Ennoshita-kun? Are you closing the gym up today?” Kageyama asked, his hands still holding a ball unconsciously. The other cocked his head to the side in curiosity, and then nodded. “Can I have the keys instead? I want to get in a few extra minutes of practice.”
All the upperclassman could do was snicker, wiping the excess water around his mouth. “You’re really hard-working huh? Been doing this since the rest was still here.”
Tobio felt blush crept up his cheeks from embarrassment, itching the back of his head as he ditched eye contact. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”
He felt a hand land on his shoulder startling him, “I’ll give you the key if you can promise me you won’t overwork yourself, can’t have you injured before Inter-high even starts.” One part of Tobio wanted to seal that promise, but another part of him couldn’t. He knew himself well enough that he was going to push himself past his limits, whether or not it’s detrimental to him.
It’s the only way he knows how to climb, and especially with recent revelations of his sub-gender, he couldn’t be more certain that he was going to work himself to the bone. If people won’t believe in him, then he’ll have to prove it himself.
But he couldn’t say that to Ennoshita, he hasn’t even told the one person he trusts most. So he nodded obediently, pressing his lips into a thin line as awkwardness took over his actions. Kageyama felt guilty nonetheless, but it isn’t time yet.
Practice began as usual, with Shoyou’s stares becoming more frequent. It wasn’t out of the ordinary when he wanted Tobio to toss to him though, his gaze holding a certain confident glint, as if to tell him he’ll be able to reach the set no matter how high. Sometimes, Kageyama can’t help but stare too. It’s endearing to say the least, a pair of eyes so fiery and scorching hot sometimes gives him a sense of relief, and sometimes a sense of want.
A want of what exactly Kageyama hasn’t figured out, but he’s patient enough to keep observing.