Work Text:
Today was another usual day at the hotel. Pickle played video games as usual, Fan was updating his blog, and Silver had a meaningless argument with yet another contestant. These arguments happened every so often, and they mostly occurred due to minor inconveniences which Silver blew out of proportion.
This time, it was with Nickel, and it was because Nickel had just simply gotten annoyed with Silver’s increased arrogance this morning. Sure, he was always like that, but today in particular Nickel was just not in the mood. Silver Spoon would typically forget about these arguments 5 minutes later, but today was different. Nickel had told him something right before storming off, and it was now making Silver feel deeply insecure.
“I may be worth less than other coins, but at least I wasn’t made to be worthless!”
This kept repeating in Silver’s head, even 2 hours later. Surely Nickel didn’t actually know, right?
He was just joking around, right???
To Silver, even just the thought of others finding out how he truly feels about himself was his worst nightmare. To what the other contestants seem like arrogance, is truly just Silver Spoon’s way of masking his insecurities. If he told others he was the best, surely soon enough, he would start believing it as well.
The only person he had ever allowed himself to open up to was Candle, and as long as he had her validation, he felt satisfied. But now, he was starting to question if his relationship with her was even real in the first place. After all, for all he knows, it could just simply be in Candle’s programming for her to want to be with him. He had always felt a strange connection to her from the very beginning, however Candle just simply attributed it to the nature of their inner flames.
As he was lost in thought, Candle suddenly walked into the room, having came back from running some errands. Silver looked up and saw her, and instantly tried to forget about what he was thinking about.
“Hello, my dear, how has your day been?”
“It’s been quite alright, how about yours?”
She could tell something was slightly off about Silver, so she sat down beside him on the bed. He hesitated to tell her about how he was feeling, so he tried to cover it up and just act casual.
“Oh, well, it’s been going fine. I just had a slight kerfuffle with Nickel in the morning, but that’s about it.”
That’s it? Candle felt as if there were more to it, something he didn’t necessarily want to talk about, but he should. Silver could feel her gaze on him, and he wasn’t exactly sure what to say, though he sensed that Candle knew what wasn’t the full story.
“…He also said something that was quite hurtful, but I wouldn’t want to bore you with the details…”
“Silver, you know I’m always willing to listen to you. I don’t know what happened, but I can help if it’s bothering you.”
“It has to do with… well…”
Of all the things he talked with Candle about, the one thing he hated talking about was his programming. It reminded him that no matter how much he tried, he would never be enough. His inner flame was formed out of this desire to be more, but in the end, it just ended up causing more harm then good. Maybe he truly was destined to always be a failure…
Speaking of the flame, Silver knew it was no use trying to hide anything from Candle, as she would be able to probably figure it out anyways. So he spoke up once more.
“It was just a minor remark regarding… the specifics of how I was created…”
Candle now instantly picked up on what he was trying to say. She was the only person who Silver had ever told his defining trait to.
‘Thinks he's worthless’
This phrase tormented Silver day after day, and he didn’t want to deal with it anymore. Everyone else seemed to be growing out of their programming, yet no matter how much Silver Spoon tried, nothing ever worked.
“How do you do it?” Silver asked. “How do you just effortlessly not let your traits bother you?”
Candle sighed when she heard this. “Silver, you really think I’m just this calm person who never has a bad day? Well it seems you think just like everyone else… what a shame…” she said sounding slightly disappointed.
When he heard Candle’s tone, Silver Spoon instantly felt bad for what he had said. “W-wait, I didn’t mean to say it like that! It’s just- you seem to manage it so well compared to me…”
“Well, that’s the problem. The way I was made impedes me from trying to seek help for myself, I can only provide it to others.”
Wait. This got Silver thinking. He was highly curious, but he also knew he shouldn’t ask such a highly personal question. Still, Silver couldn’t help it. This could finally answer the question that’s been weighing on his mind for such a long time.
“Forgive me for being invasive but… how exactly were you made?” As soon as these words left his mouth, he instantly regretted it, but he couldn’t stop now. “You see, I just sometimes can’t help but feel like what we have was just something meaningless MePhone decided to add to us. Do you ever feel like this as well??” As Silver Spoon speaks, Candle can hear a slight desperation in his voice, so she starts to lean into him in order to provide comfort.
“Silver, does it really matter if this is real? Even if it isn’t, even if we were made just for the fun of it, what matters is that our feelings are real.”
Silver had never thought of it this way. This whole time he was so caught up in whether or not his relationship with Candle was real, but he always failed to take into account that it felt real, which was the most important factor of them all. Who cares if it was just simple programming? At the end of the day, he wouldn’t choose to have it any other way.
“My dear… thank you so much… you truly don’t know what this means to me… what could have someone like me done to deserve you?” he asks, not expecting Candle to answer, but she does anyways.
“Simply exist,” she says in a lighthearted tone, while giving him a kiss on the cheek.