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The argument built up over small things without either of them realizing it.
Over the span of a few weeks, Angela had been pulling away.
Lucy had noticed all of it.
The way she was quieter when they were alone.
Her smiles not always reaching her eyes.
How she dodged Lucy’s kisses.
She came home late more often.
Lucy knew that work had been making Angela exhausted, but that wasn’t an excuse.
It was slowly breaking Lucy apart until she couldn’t take it anymore.
Angela came home late again and set her keys on the counter.
Lucy was already waiting for her, her arms crossed.
Angela noticed, her jaw tightened.
She tried ignoring it and stepped toward their bedroom.
“Angela.”
She froze in place, her gaze staying on the ground.
“Look at me.”
It wasn’t an order exactly.
More of a desperate plea.
Angela’s eyes didn’t raise.
Lucy’s eyes stung with unshed tears.
“Please.”
Angela finally let herself look at her girlfriend.
Her chest tightened.
She knew what she was going to see, so she tried to avoid it.
Like she always did.
But Lucy wouldn’t let her this time.
And it brought a physical ache to her chest, seeing Lucy’s hurt eyes.
The way her shoulders were tense, and was bracing herself for what Angela might say.
“I can’t do this right now, Lucy.”
Lucy shook her head.
“You never can.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Neither is the way you’ve been treating me.”
Angela blinked.
Because she was right.
“Just tell me whats wrong so I can fix it.”
Angela sighed.
“You don’t understand.”
“So make me!”
Angela flinched.
Lucy never rose her voice.
It felt like a physical blow.
“Make me understand.”
Lucy’s voice was barely above a whisper.
“I don’t know how.”
“Just start by letting me in, you’ve been pushing me away.”
“I haven’t been pushing you away.”
“Yes you have!”
Angela’s gaze dropped back to the floor.
She knew Lucy was right.
Every word Lucy was saying was right, but Angela didn’t know how to stop pushing her away when she didn’t want Lucy seeing certain parts of her.
“You come home late, you never make conversations anymore. I—“
Lucy listed each thing off on her fingers.
Her voice broke when she got to the last one.
The one that hurt the most.
“I don’t even remember the last time you kissed me, Angela.”
A tear slid down Lucy’s cheek, despite fighting to hold it in.
Angela’s breath caught.
She hadn’t realized it had gone that far.
“I’m sorry.”
Lucy rubbed her hands down her face.
“Don’t apologize. Just tell me whats bothering you so I can help.”
“I can’t.”
A fresh wave of hurt flashed across Lucy’s face.
Angela inhaled through her nose.
Seeing Lucy’s hurt face was making everything worse.
“Why?”
Lucy’s voice cracked.
“Because it’s not your problem.”
Lucy’s mouth fell open and she took a step back, putting more distance between them.
“It’s not my problem.”
She repeated the words, the words leaving a bitter taste in her mouth.
Angela rubbed her brow.
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
A pause.
“I don’t know.”
Lucy nodded.
“When did I stop being the person you came to for things?”
Angela stilled.
“It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it, Angela?! Tell me!”
“I don’t know!”
They both froze, staring at each other.
Their breathing uneven.
Angela let out a slow breath.
“God, Lucy. I don’t know.”
They fell silent.
“I guess… I’m just protecting you.”
“I don’t need protection from you.”
Angela’s stomach twisted and she felt the frustration bubbling.
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
With everything they were both saying, Lucy felt like Angela kept slipping further away.
It made her heart ache.
“Then what are you doing?”
“I’m trying to keep everything in, so I don’t break.”
“You don’t have to do that alone.”
“I know.”
Lucy uncrossed her arms and for a moment, her expression softened.
“Baby. Just let me in.”
Angela couldn’t take it anymore.
Maybe anger wasn’t the right emotion.
But it was the only one that kept her from falling apart.
“I can’t!”
Lucy flinched as if she was physically struck.
It felt like she was.
“Why?”
Angela was frustrated.
Not at Lucy.
At herself.
But she couldn’t stop herself from taking it out on her.
“Maybe because this isn’t working anymore.”
She hadn’t meant to say that.
The words burned as soon as they slipped out.
Her eyes were wide and she wanted to take it back.
But it was already said.
“Lucy—“
“No.”
Lucy’s hands were trembling at her sides with the force of trying to hold herself together.
She took another step back and the space between them felt wider than it ever had.
“Please—“
Lucy shook her head, the hurt too much.
Her voice was small.
“Maybe you’re right.”
Angela started to panic.
She took a step forward, trying to reach for her.
Lucy just stepped farther back.
“Lucy.”
Her voice lost all the defensive tone she had.
All that was left was pure plea and exhaustion.
“No. This isn’t working.”
Her voice was anything but steady.
She didn’t mean a single word.
But Angela said it first, and all of her actions backed it up.
Angela’s face crumpled.
Lucy turned away.
That hurt way more than any word she could ever say.
“You should go.”
Angela tried reaching for her.
“Baby, please.”
That made everything worse.
She whirled back around.
The anger and hurt written on her face as she pulled out of Angela’s grasp.
“No!”
She paused, her voice more broken than before.
“You don’t get to call me that after everything you’ve said.”
Another pause.
“Just go.”
Angela’s heart sank.
But she didn’t know what else to say or do.
So she grabbed her keys and left.
Lucy sank back against the wall as soon as the door clicked shut.
A broken sob tearing from her throat, stealing all the air from her lungs.
Angela paused outside the door when she heard it.
It shattered her heart.
She forced herself out of the building and to her car.
The car door slammed shut with more force than needed.
That’s when she broke.
The tears started flowing before she could stop them.
She might’ve just lost the most important person in her life, all because she was scared.
She didn’t know how long she sat there.
Everything she was holding in, finally pouring out.
Eventually she gathered herself long enough to grab her phone.
The first contact she saw was Lucy’s.
Her name was ‘My sunshine💛’ in Angela’s phone.
The tears welled all over again.
She shook them away and called Tim.
He answered on the second ring.
“Hey, Lopez. What’s up?”
She took a shaky breath.
“Hey.”
Her voice was shaky and full of all the pain she felt.
“Angela, whats wrong?”
The way her voice sounded scared him.
Every bad scenario running through his head.
He had never heard Angela so hurt.
“I fucked up, Tim. Really bad.”
Realization dawned on him.
“Oh.”
She let out a broken laugh, but it had no humor in it.
“Yeah.”
The line went silent.
Tim processing.
Angela sitting in the pain.
“Can I stay at your place tonight?”
Tim’s voice softened.
“Really that bad?”
She nodded even though he couldn’t see her.
“I really hurt her, Tim.”
Tim sighed.
He could see this coming.
At work when Angela avoided Lucy.
Lucy pretending it didn’t bother her.
When they hung out, Angela leaned away from all of Lucy’s attention.
Lucy would excuse herself to the bathroom.
Tim acted like he didn’t notice.
It was their business.
But watching his best friends fall apart, hurt.
“You pushed her away, Ange.”
“You noticed?”
“We all noticed.”
Angela’s eyes closed, tears still slipping past her eyelids.
“I didn’t mean to. I really didn’t.”
She paused.
“I just didn’t want her to worry.”
Tim understood.
He’d been through the same thing before.
It didn’t end well.
That’s what made this worse.
He didn’t want that for them.
“I know. But that’s not your decision to make.”
Angela sighed.
“Why do you have to be right?”
Tim huffed a small laugh.
“I usually am.”
Angela laughed at that.
Broke again when she thought of how Lucy would’ve laughed.
“What do I do?”
Her voice cracked.
“I told her that we weren’t working.”
Tim’s eyes closed, letting out a breath.
“Angela.”
It wasn’t filled with Anger.
More of a quiet disappointment.
That was worse.
Way worse.
“I know.”
They both stayed quiet for a moment.
The line filled with Angela’s hitching breaths as more tears fell.
“Just give her some space first. That’s all you can do right now. You can stay here as long as you need.”
She let out a relieved breath.
“Thank you.”
He smiled faintly.
“Don’t thank me. That’s what friends do.”
Three days passed.
Three days of no calls.
No texts.
Sleeping in separate beds for the first time in almost a year.
They both hated every second of it.
Angela hated herself for what happened.
Lucy’s heart was broken.
She thought they had ended that night and was barely hanging on by a thread.
She waited for Angela to call.
Text even.
But she didn’t.
Angela wanted to give her space.
She thought that somehow would make it better.
It didn’t.
The fourth afternoon, Angela sat up on Tim’s couch, her heart in her throat.
Tim stood in the doorway.
“You should go talk to her.”
Angela didn’t look up from her lap.
“I’m giving her space.”
“It’s been four days, Angela. If you wait any longer you’re going to lose her for good.”
He wasn’t harsh.
Just honest.
Angela finally looked up.
“What if shes realized I’m not worth it?”
Tim exhaled hard through his nose.
“Then you get through it. But I know Lucy. She’s most likely right where you are. A broken mess.”
There was some amusement in his tone, but his eyes were serious.
Angela shook her head, a ghost of a smile on her lips.
“I hate you.”
Tim laughed softly.
“Uh huh. Now go talk to your girlfriend so I can get my two disgustingly in love best friends back.”
Angela nodded, letting out a slow breath.
She grabbed her things and headed to their apartment.
Her heart racing.
Lucy sat on their couch, watching the pouring rain through the window.
Her knees were pressed to her chest and she was wearing Angela’s hoodie.
Every part of her ached.
Angela was her whole world.
She had been missing her for months.
And now it felt like she was really gone.
Her whole world felt like it stopped spinning.
She had slept on the couch every day.
She couldn’t sleep in their bed.
It smelled like their scents mixed together.
The couch was the same but it held less than their bed did.
Their bed was where they held each other in their most vulnerable moments.
It hurt too much to even look at it let alone sleep in it.
Every part of her missed Angela.
She didn’t remember when she slipped the hoodie on.
The days blurred together.
One second she was wearing her own clothes, the next she was wearing Angela’s hoodie.
It smelled like her.
Lucy’s favorite scent.
She wanted to reach out, but she thought if Angela wanted to talk then she would’ve by now.
She shook her head and heaved herself off of the couch.
She needed air.
Didn’t have a destination, just needed to go.
It was pouring hard when she stepped outside.
Halfway to her car, she looked up and froze.
Angela was right there, already soaked.
Probably standing there for five minutes considering going inside.
They locked eyes and Angela crossed and closed the space between them.
Terrified with every step that Lucy would pull away.
She didn’t.
She physically couldn’t.
Angela stopped in front of her, close enough to feel her warmth, but not close enough to touch.
Angela saw the hoodie and felt tears already falling, hidden by the rain.
“I’m sorry, Lucy. I’m so, so sorry.”
Lucy’s lip trembled.
“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have ambushed you.”
Angela shook her head.
“No. You were right to. I was pushing you away without even realizing it. I’ve just been so tired and I didn’t know how to tell you.”
Lucy sobbed right there, not bothering to hold it in anymore.
“You’re my girlfriend, Ange. You’re supposed to tell me how you feel. That’s the only way this works.”
She worried her lip between her teeth.
“Every time you pulled away, it made me feel like you stopped wanting me.”
Angela stepped closer, taking Lucy’s hand and squeezing, grounding them both.
“No, baby. No. I have never stopped wanting you. Never. I just thought I was protecting you, and I know thats not fair.”
She took a deep breath.
“These past few days without you have been hell. I can’t lose you, Lucy. You’re the best thing thats ever happened to me.”
Lucy stepped forward until their foreheads were almost touching.
“I’ve missed you so much. Please promise me you’ll open more. Please.”
She pressed her forehead to Lucy’s.
“I promise. I promise and you have every right to leave if I break it. But I won’t.”
Lucy let out a long breath.
It felt like the first real one she had taken in days.
“Thats all I wanted to hear. Thank you.”
Lucy pulled Angela close and Angela didn’t hesitate, her arms wrapping around her tightly.
Neither of them cared about their soaked clothes pressing together.
They held on tight, Angela buried her face in Lucy’s neck, breathing her in.
The rain pounded on them and they just held each other.
It was all they needed.
Their hearts healing together.
Angela pulled back, a whisper of a breath away.
“Can I kiss you?”
Her tone was open, completely okay if Lucy wasn’t ready.
Lucy smiled.
“You never have to ask.”
Angela smiled and leaned in.
When their lips met it felt like the whole world faded and all there was left was this, the warmth of each other’s lips, the heat of their bodies pressed together.
It wasn’t gentle.
They were pouring everything they felt into it.
Angela’s hands settled on Lucy’s waist, pulling her flush against her.
Their tongues slid together.
Lucy’s arms winded around Angela’s neck and she moaned into the kiss.
When they finally pulled apart, it was only for the need of air.
Both of them were breathing heavy, their noses touching.
They felt like they could finally breathe again and their hearts were full.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too. I’ll never let you forget it again.”
Lucy laughed wetly.
“We’re a mess. We’re soaked in the pouring rain.”
Angela laughed too.
“Can we go inside?”
She paused, wanting to make sure this was allowed.
“Together?”
Lucy nodded, smiling for the first time in days maybe even months.
“Always.”
They locked hands and headed into their apartment.
For the first time in months, things felt right.
It wasn’t perfect, they weren’t perfect.
But they had each other, and that’s what mattered.