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“Hanahaki Disease is an illness caused by unrequited love. A flower symbolizing the one loved appears inside one lung. Common symptoms include but are not limited to: shortness of breath, insomnia, pain around the chest area, lack of appetite, and coughing out flower petals. Those who suffer from Hanahaki Disease have two options; suffocation due to the lack of air the lungs are able to retain (because of the flower inhabiting it) or surgically removing the flower. Because the flower itself is made from the emotions inside the body’s nerves once surgery is complete the patient's feelings for the one they once loved are completely removed along with any memories that caused the love to bloom.”
They thought it was the butterflies people so often claimed to feel when in love. They should have known butterflies weren’t inside lungs, should have known they didn't hurt nearly as much. When Vic first met their love their silver, almost white hair fell to their hips. Their slender figure was beginning to take shape and almost everything was beginning to fall into place. Their feminine beauty and skating abilities were at their peak but one thing was missing. While the entire world was in love with them they had no lover of their own. They grew older and their hair was cut shorter until it rested just above their nose. They’d also begun to love with a love that would put Annabelle lee and her lover to shame.
If only they hadn't thought the love to be unrequited, if only Vic hadn’t been diagnosed with Hanahaki Disease.
In the months they spent admiring their loved one they could have been holding him. Instead they’d spent the first few months hiding the occasional flower petal that would creep up their throat. By now, with their flower in full bloom, they found trying to keep the petals from spilling from their lips useless. They let themselves spill their love onto their bed. They hacked out their once white, now tainted red Daffodils and Hyacinths. Their body reacted to the violent coughing in the only way it could, through tears. They slipped beside their bed and kneeled, hyacinths poured out their lungs as they clapped together their hands in prayer. It had been a while since they last prayed. They bowed their heads but the silk like petals began to collect and disrupt their breathing. Their weakened body tried to stand but found the weight of the flowers much too heavy for them to do so. They did the second best thing, they crawled.
A trail of petals, blood, and saliva marked the porcelain floors leading to the bathroom. Inside the coughing worsened. They leaned into the tub, they’d clogged the toilet once before and broke down at the sight of overflowing water and daffodils.Flower petals and blood filled the tub as Vic let out his love for Yuuri. Flower vomit and tears made their way down Vic’s chin as they thought of Yuuri. His black hair had grown long enough to be clipped back, unlike when they’d first met. Vic wasn't completely sure of when they fell in love with him. In love with his skating, his hair, the way he wrote his name, the way he whispered Vic’s full name during one of his breakdowns. Yuuri was so strong now, mentally he could take on the world. Vic wasn't sure when he became their world. They looked down at the field of flower petals and blood that had gathered in their tub.
“Hyacinths; I'm sorry, please forgive me, sorrow. Daffodil; The sun is always shining I’m with you, you’re the only one.. Unrequited love.” Vic recited to themselves. The doctor had told them daffodils were common amongst those with Hanahaki, but hyacinths were something he'd never seen before. Vic’s eyes were welling up again, they were dangerously dehydrated it was a wonder how they could still manage to cry. They thought back to the one they loved.
Yuuri, the cause of Vic’s tears, blood, flowers, and heartbreak was their only love. They were willing to die for him, though never did they think they would die like this. It was worth it though; worth the trembling hands that never ceased to reach for him, worth their throbbing throat that was now fragile enough to internally tear and bleed with every flower themed declaration of love. Not that Vic would ever tell him that. Not that Yuuri would, in turn, declare the love that had been harboring inside of him, or mention the love that was now a flower growing in his right lung. Vic looked back into the blood caked tub.
Having regained a portion of their strength, they stood. The mirror besides them reflected the outside of their room where Yuuri stood, horrified at the scene before him. His eyes too were rimmed with tears, lips tremblings, petals rising faster than he could process. He reached to slap his hand over his mouth but the petals forced their way out too quickly. Tears dripped onto the floor from Yuuri’s chin as he stared at the bed. The field of unrequited love had Yuuri yearning to seek comfort he could only find in the arms of Vic. His eyes focused on the smeared blood leading to the restroom where Vic stood leaning on the door frame. Their thin frame was trembling, lips bloody, eyes bloodshot, eye bags that added years onto their face. They were still so beautiful.
“Yuuri-”
“Who did this to you?”
Vic stared at him and leaned against the frame of the restroom. ‘You my dear friend’ they wanted to say. ‘Its you and every single thing you do’ Instead they looked over to their bed. Their lungs restricted as they noticed the strange flower petals, one they'd never seen before. With a slight wobble in their step, they made their way over to the bed. They swallowed back petals as they formed their next words.
“What are those? The name?” Vic asked. Yuuri clenched and unclenched his hands. He seemed to deflate.
“Lily of the Valley.” He sniffed
“You make my life complete"
Vic nodded.
“And who did this to you?” It was Yuuri’s turn to dodge the question. Vic was much too sick to start worrying about him and the unrequited love that haunted them both. Yuuri stood silent, completely fine with staring at the petals on the bed. It had suddenly become much easier than looking at Vic so sickly, so thin, hair out of order, and with blood and one single flower petal staining their chin.
“My daffodil is the one who made the stars in my life constellations, the one who outshines the sun. My daffodil is someone who will never love me.” Yuuri nodded, on the verge of tears and with his lip bleeding from how hard he bit his lip. Vic’s arms wrapped around Yuuri, an attempt to bring solace once more to their love. Yuuri wrapped his arms around Vic’s slender figure and once again, Vic cried. They cried because Yuuri was within reach, he always had been, but his heart did not belong to them. They cried cause they could no longer breath, cried because both were in love but Yuuri didn't love them.
“Dear Yuuri,
Though I vowed to take my love to the grave I find that while on my death bed I’d like to thank you. Loving you is a regret I’ll never have. I wish to see you again, perhaps in our next lives we will meet again. I love you, my dear daffodil.”