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The music skips with an incoming text that Alexei ignores as he mixes his smoothie and hums along. Once he adds the last chunk of banana he slips the lid on the blender and turns it on. A few moments later he turns it off and the silence is jarring. Alexei walks over towards where his phone is laying on the counter, hoping his battery hasn’t died yet again. His phone has been on the last leg of life for a couple weeks now, but he’s too attached to it to change it in for a new one, no matter how much the rookies tease him.
Alexei picks up the phone. It isn’t dead. It buzzes incessantly in his hand as 20 messages turned to thirty with three missed calls and several voicemails. Alexei swipes in his password and scrolls down the list of names until he reaches the first message. It’s from Kent. The first is a link with three messages in quick succession after.
Kent (8:57 am): I didn’t even notice them take this
Kent (8:57 am): It makes us look kind of gay… don’t you think?
Kent (8:58 am): Okay yeah other ppl think it’s hella gay too wtf
Alexei clicks on the link from the first text and his heart feels like it’s beating out an erratic rhythm in his chest as he waits for it to load. Once it loads he breathes a sigh of relief, it’s just the article about bromance in the NHL.
A couple months ago he’d been contacted by Cosmo to participate alongside Kent in a best bros piece about cross team friendships in the NHL in an attempt to broaden the hockey audience. The concept was simple enough, they’d contacted a bunch of different hockey players with friendships well documented via social media and called them in to take pictures and give a short interview.
Two weeks ago, once they were both free with plenty of time in the off season, he and Kent had flown out to LA and posed for a bunch of pictures together.
Each pair of friends was photographed playing some sport other than hockey.
Alexei knew Snowy and his buddy Kicker from the Schooners were doing water polo, because Snowy had complained to Alexei for a solid three days afterwards that it was ‘the lamest of all polos’. Alexei and Kent had been given wrestling. The singlet they gave him was so small Alexei had popped into Kent’s dressing room, certain that it was his - it wasn’t. Kent’s was tight and in aces black unlike the one Alexei was holding in falconer’s blue.
Once they’d gotten dressed, after a lot of wiggling on Alexei’s part, they’d been brought out to the set where a wrestling mat was set up and they were told how to pose. Most of it was fairly benign, Alexei pretending to have Kent in a headlock, Kent crouching to knock Alexei over, them standing together with arms slung around one another’s shoulders, that sort of thing. After a couple hours of taking photos the woman in charge of the shoot, Shelly, stopped them.
“Alright boys,” she’d said, walking over towards them and shaking both their hands. “I think we’ve got a bunch of great shots here. So you can feel free to go ahead and get changed. We’ve got a few more photoshoots and interviews scheduled, but the article should be posted in a couple weeks so keep your eye out.” She smiled at them before walking back to the photographer. “Thanks again for coming,” she said over her shoulder at them, “It’s been a pleasure."
"Thank you,” Kent had said, smiling, “it gives me an excuse to drag this lug out to LA finally."
Alexei had rolled his eyes good naturedly, "I am telling Kent I been to LA many times before -"
"Playing hockey and never leaving your hotel doesn’t count.” Kent smirked at him and before Alexei could even think about what he was doing he’d lifted Kent up and they’d both gone crashing down onto the mat. After grappling for a minute Alexei had ended up on his back staring up dazedly at Kent standing above him with his hand outstretched to help him up.
Alexei puts his head in his hands as he stares down at the photo. He hadn’t even realized that the cameras were still rolling while he and Kent were messing around. The picture was taken a moment after Alexei knocked them both to the mat. In it he’s pinning Kent’s arms above his head and his legs are straddling Kent’s waist. Kent has a grin on his face, that’s more smirk than smile, which at the time had Alexei’s heart skipping a beat before returning in double time. Kent’s left brow is raised in challenge, but it’s Alexei’s face coupled with their position that’s incriminating. His eyes are soft, his smile joyous and it’s obvious to anyone looking that he’s in love.
Alexei groans, and lets his head thunk down onto the cool counter. He hadn’t realized he’s been so transparent with his affection for Kent, if he had he never would’ve agreed to do the photoshoot together in the first place. Maybe no one else really noticed though, he thinks hopefully as he runs to get his laptop because his phone really is a piece of shit.
His laptop boots up quickly and Alexei holds his breath as he googles his own name. Before he even finishes typing it autofills with Alexei Mashkov Kent Parson gay? He curses softly before clicking on the first article that comes up and it has more than just the picture from the Cosmo site. There’s paparazzi photos all the way going back to their rookie year, to when Alexei played for the Aces. None of the pictures would be all that incriminating on their own, but together…
Alexei groans and takes a deep breath before scrolling down through no less than twenty pictures of the two of them sitting just a little too close at sporting events, smiling at each other over dinner, sitting together in pubs, and most notably a picture of them slow dancing at Chaser’s wedding last year. Chaser was the only other rookie on the Aces in their first year and had invited them both to his wedding even though none of them were still on the same team anymore.
“Why you are not dancing?” Alexei’d asked, having just come back from the dance floor where he’d had six kids hanging off of him like a jungle gym.
Kent had rolled his eyes and held up his glass, “This is more my style."
Alexei had plopped down into the chair beside Kent and smiled at him. "I know you like dancing. I see pictures all the time of Ace’s Captain dance at club."
"This isn’t really my type of dancing.” Kent’s nose had crinkled at the thought. Alexei’s heart was still a little erratic from his time on the dance floor.
“You are not knowing how,” Alexei’d teased in a singsong voice.
Kent had scoffed. “I know how to fucking dance."
Alexei stood up and stretched out his hand to Kent in invitation. "Prove it."
They’d twirled around the dance floor together, laughing with fingers entwined. At one point Kent had buried his head into Alexei’s shoulder and it’d made Alexei’s heart race and his palms sweat. The other hockey players at the wedding had teased them afterwards, but the smile Kent couldn’t seem to completely wipe from his face the rest of the night had been worth any chirping they’d received.
Alexei knew their picture had been taken, but they’d been goofing off, he hadn’t thought anything of it at the time, but now it was showing up on a gossip site less than twenty minutes after Cosmo posted incriminating photos. He isn’t sure he wants to read whatever this site has to say about him and Kent, but it’s like a car wreck he can’t look away from as he scrolls down.
The article following the photos is short and mostly excerpts from the Cosmo interview.
Cosmo: So you two have been friends since your rookie year. Can you tell us about how you guys went from being teammates to friends?
KP: Well my rookie year was pretty rough, it was a big change from the Q [Parson was in Juniors prior to the 2009 draft] and Tater didn’t know anyone -
AM: Or any English
KP: [smiling at Mashkov] We bonded over a mutual inability to cook and be actual adults.
Alexei knows there was a follow up question to that about what sort adult things they didn’t know how to do, it somehow devolved into Kent ranting about Kit. Alexei’s not exactly shocked the site he’s on chose not to include that conversation - if it even ended up in the final interview of Cosmo’s website. Alexei had gotten so distracted by the picture he forgot to even look.
Cosmo: I’m sure our readers would be interested to know what the two of you do when you hang out together.
AM: We like going [to] movies, I can cook now and Parsnip like[s] to [Mashkov looks to Parson and gestures at him]
KP: [laughs] Mooch
AM: Yes, yes he mooch[es] off of me.
Cosmo: Is he a good cook Kent?
KP: Oh yeah, definitely. I love when he cooks for me.
Cosmo: Do you two have anything planned together during the offseason?
AM: Kent is come [sic] to Russia with me.
KP: Since when?
AM: I [told] you my mama want[s] to meet you.
KP: Yeah I thought you meant in the US man.
AM: No, no. I mean in Russia.
KP: [Laughing] Apparently we’re going to Russia together.
Cosmo: Kent you always seem to have a new beautiful woman on your arm. Any chance of you settling down soon?
KP: [laughs] Is this your polite way of telling me to stop being a player?
Cosmo: No, no of course not. I just want to let our female readers to know if they’ve got a chance.
KP: Oh alright then, [laughs] as long as you’re not trying to ruin my image.
Alexei knows, he knows he shouldn’t be reading the comments but he can’t stop himself from scrolling.
There’s already over 800 comments when he starts to read them, and the number keeps scrolling up. There’s argumentative comments defending Alexei from what they think are false accusations tinged with disgust at the implications, debates continue in threads below that, a surprising number are supportive and there’s a single comment, fifteen responses deep from a gay teen who says he’s decided not to quit hockey now from just the idea that there might be professional hockey players like him. Alexei stops reading after that one.
When he attempts to go back to the original article to see what else had been included from their interview he can’t because the site has crashed. Alexei pushes his laptop aside and walks back to his kitchen, ignoring the incessant buzzing and dialing Kent’s number without even glancing at his missed calls and texts. It doesn’t even finish the first ring before Kent’s picking up.
"Dude, where the fuck were you? I’ve been trying to call you for twenty minutes." His voice sounds tinny and far away like he’s using the speakerphone.
"Sorry,” Alexei says, running a hand through his hair and feeling his heart rate slow from the panicked seizing it was doing moments before. He’d rather not think too deeply about that. “I - are you alone?"
"Yeah,” Kent sighs through the line and Alexei can picture him fingering the brim of his snapback. “I’m in the car on my way to your place now.”
“What?” Alexei asks.
“I was in New York visiting my mom,” he says, “I’ll be there in like two hours."
Alexei feels selfish, but the fact that he’ll get to see Kent today nearly outweighs everything else. "Okay,” he says, taking a deep breath, “I am sorry, котенок. Is my fault they are saying these things. I should not have -"
"Shut up Aloysha,” Kent says. Alexei sucks in a quick breath at the rare use of his nickname. “This isn’t on you. I’ll explain when I get there - just don’t promise PR or your GM anything before I do alright?"
Alexei nods, "Yes okay. I tell them we wait to talk to Aces before say anything.”
“Sounds good man,” Kent says before hanging up.
Instead of sitting in his apartment letting his anxiety brew while he waits for Kent, Alexei calls Georgia and PR who are both surprisingly not upset with him. PR is pissed at Cosmo for using that shot, but the conversation actually goes far better than he thought it would. They even tell him that they were coming up with a plan for one of their other players who’s planning on coming out and Alexei has absolutely no idea what to say to that. Georgia tells him that how they proceed is completely up to him; whether or not it’s true he can deny it, or if he wants to come out the organization is behind him 100%. Alexei doesn’t really know what to say to that because the number of people who know he’s gay are exactly 2 - including himself, and the boy he kissed behind the bleachers in Russia nearly a decade ago who he’s fairly sure doesn’t even remember his name. He tells them he has to think about everything and hangs up before they can say anything else.
His phone won’t stop buzzing and Alexei considers turning it off before deciding that it might not be a good idea. He checks the clock every five minutes trying to figure out when Kent’ll get here, and when he’s got about twenty more minutes to wait if Kent doesn’t hit traffic when his phone buzzes with a name he’ll actually bother picking up for.
“Alexei are you alright?” His given name sounds foreign on Jack’s lips and he furrows his brow in distaste.
“Zimmboni,” Tater exclaims, attempting to maintain some sense of normalcy. "How are you? When am I getting more pie from your baker?“
"Tater. You have - you’ve seen the article, haven’t you?”
Tater sighs and his facade falls. “Yes, I’m seeing."
"I’m bi,” Jack blurts, “well either that or pan. I’m not entirely sure yet, but I just - I thought it was something I should tell you. I mean, no that’s not right,” Jack says, words tumbling out so fast Alexei thinks Jack may have surprised himself a little with the confession. “It’s something I wanted to tell you."
"Thank you,” Alexei whispers, unsure of what else to say.
“I’m planning on coming out soon,” Jack says, “while it’s still off season, eh?”
Alexei nods. “Is good time I think."
"I can -” Alexei can hear Jacks gulp clear through the line, “I can do it now. If it’ll help - if it’ll take the pressure off of you."
"NO,” Alexei near shouts, “no, no. You do not come out for me. You come out for you when you are ready. Yes Zimmboni?"
The line is silent for a moment and when he speaks, Alexei can hear the undertone of relief in Jack’s voice. "Yeah, yeah okay, you’re right. I just - I know it can’t be easy for you to have these rumors about you."
"They are not being rumors,” Alexei says before he can stop himself.
“What?"
"Rumors means not true, yes? ” Alexei’s never said the words out loud before, and even though his heart feels like it’s about to pound out from his chest he continues, “Well they are not rumors because I am gay.” The words fall off his tongue as easy as any other and it seems anticlimactic that his roof doesn’t cave in and the world around him doesn’t come crashing down. Everything is the same as it was moments before, but it’s different too.
“Thank you for trusting me with this,” Jack says, as though it’s a phrase he’s memorized. “So you and Kenny are…” Jack’s voice has a lilt to it now Alexei can’t identify and he feels his heart cracking and splintering around the seams.
“No, no is not what seems.” Alexei corrects him, walking over to the window with his phone held up to his ear before peeking through to see the swarm of reporters camped out at the end of his mercifully long driveway.
“Then I think you should talk to Kent,” Jack says, as though it’s that easy. Before Alexei can respond Jack is ending the call and there’s a commotion at the end of his property.
A dark blue four door sports car barely even slows for the reporters blocking the end of his driveway. Alexei stumbles towards the switch by his door leading to the garage and presses it, opening the garage door just as the sports car reaches the house. An impossibly quick moment later his door is opening and he’s got an armful of Kent Parson.
Alexei wraps his arms around Kent’s shoulders and Kent buries his face deeper into Alexei’s chest. After a long moment Alexei moves to pull back out of the hug, but Kent’s arms remain firm around his shoulders and Alexei relaxes back into the embrace. When they finally pull apart several long moments later Kent’s eyes are rimmed with red.
“I’m so sorry,” Alexei says.
“What?” Kent asks, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Dude why’re you sorry? It’s my dumb ass that got us into this mess."
Alexei looks at Kent with confusion twisting his brow and Kent huffs a sigh, flopping down onto his couch and throwing an arm over his face dramatically. Alexei follows him and lifts Kent’s feet so he can sit at the end of the couch. Kent doesn’t put his feet in Alexei’s lap - which is weird, because they sit like that all the time. He’s got his legs squished up in a way that absolutely cannot be comfortable instead. Alexei picks Kent’s feet up gingerly and places them in his lap.
Kent peaks out from under his arm and groans. "Why do you have to be such a perfect asshole, man?” Before Alexei can even come up with a response for that Kent plows on. “I’m gay."
Blood rushes through Alexei’s ears and he drops his head down as his vision swims. Kent is gay, Alexei’s best friend who he’s in love with is not straight. He isn’t sure how to process this information.
"And I’m sorry that you’ve gotten roped into this - I didn’t think some little fluff piece for Cosmo would -” Kent pinches the bridge of his nose and looks anywhere other than at Alexei, “The interview, along with how I’m looking at you in that fucking picture. I - ” Kent pulls his feet from Alexei’s lap and sits up straight. “I can fix this, I was planning on coming out soon anyway. I can tell everyone to fuck off that just cause I -"
"What do you mean?” Alexei says slowly, Kent’s words on repeat in his head. “What do you mean how you look at me?"
Kent rolls his eyes and huffs, but Alexei knows him well enough to see the nerves beneath his frosty exterior. "Are you really going to make me say it man?"
Alexei shrugs because the only way Kent’s sentence would make sense is if he liked him, and that - he knows that isn’t what Kent means.
Kent sighs and his gaze flicks away from Alexei’s before meeting it defiantly. "I’m into you, okay? Not in a way that means we can’t still be friends or anything because you don’t love me back and you’re also straight so - ”
“I’m not straight,” Alexei says, mind stuck on an endless loop of the words love me back. His heart is going to pump right out of his chest. “I am very much not straight,” he repeats because it seems like Kent didn’t hear him.
“What?” Kent asks after a long moment, eyes wide and brimming with something Alexei desperately wants to be hope.
“And I do,” he says, and Ken'ts looking at him like he isn’t quite sure what Alexei means, so he clears his throat and says, “love you back, I’m meaning.” He ducks his head because that is most definitely not when he intended to say but he’s not going to take it back because it’s true and Kent deserves to hear it.
Kent launches himself at Alexei and suddenly they’re kissing and it’s - it’s everything. It’s years of memories seen in a completely different light. It’s two rookies who hold hands just a hair too long when they shake for the first time. It’s finding Kent crying in the locker room after a reporter interrogates him about Zimmermann the night of their first game and not knowing the words in either language but scooping him up into his arms anyway and leaving that night with a newly minted best friend. It’s smiling just a little too long and laughing just a little too hard at jokes that no one else in the room finds funny. It’s the bright red flush that creeps up Kent’s neck and settles on his cheeks when Alexei catches his eye in locker room. It’s playing on opposing teams and going to the fanciest restaurant in town to make the loser pay. It’s every touch and look that sends off a flickering trail of sparks deep in his chest that he always tried desperately to smother.
It’s Kent climbing into his lap and kissing him within an inch of his life. It’s Alexei’s hands dropping down low on Kent’s waist as he pulls him closer. It’s Kent breaking the kiss to catch his breath, forehead resting against Alexei’s.
It’s Kent mumbling, “We’re so fucking stupid. We could’ve been doing this for years,” into Alexei’s mouth before kissing him again.