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Wrenching over the toilet rim, Alan had coughed up all of the thorn roses left within him. His throat was scarred with the memories of Wen, his past lover he thought he would die hand in hand with.
Alan chocked on the last remaining petals that were splitting out of him, his chest heaving for a gasp of oxygen. He had been suffering with hanahaki disease for a couple months now, each day worsening his symptoms. It started off as harmless petals, now it was harsh thorns scraping the inside of his lungs, leaving a scatter of blood-soaked petals surrounding him. At times he could barely breathe, clutching onto his chest as he silently suffered.
He sat against the wall, breathless and numb. His throat was scratched internally, repeatedly ripped apart by natures cruel curse. He wanted nothing more than to surgically remove every part of his disease, but the cost of remaining emotionless made his heart ache with a different kind of pain. He hated that all of this happened because of one simple mistake.
Wen was his one simple mistake.
Gaipa was hurled over the kitchen sink, vomiting up his latest batch of disheveled petals. He gasped breathlessly, unable to receive a breath of oxygen through all the thick and layered petal fragments. His eyes burned, tears threatening to spill over the edge, and his head was pounding.
He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, a trail of blood around his mouth, panting as his condition was only getting worse. He knew he needed to get over Jim, but the memories were something he was unable to erase; he was starting to think the feelings were, too.
He squeezed his eyes shut, his racing heartbeat ringing in his ears. It was all he could hear, each thump sounding louder and louder until everything else around him disintegrated into a muffled silence. His hands were still shaking from all the gagging, his entire body feeling weak and tense.
He knew he needed to move on, but his heart couldn’t seem to move on from his past failed love. His one simple mistake.
Jim was his one simple mistake.
Later that day, Alan had a business meeting with a regular client. He knew he shouldn’t have attended, but he forced himself to ignore the constant scratching in his lungs, poking at every rigid corner. That client was Gaipa, the kindest person he had ever me. Gaipa was friendly and prioritised others wellbeing, quite literally an angel disguised as a human.
They were going through financial plans for Gaipa’s current situation, yet Alan could barely concentrate due to the sharp thorns poking at his insides. He could feel the stem swirling around inside his lungs, like wild vines inside a jungle. Every blooming petal was protruding closer to his oesophagus, blocking off his airways, making it difficult to breathe.
“are you okay?” Gaipa asked after Alan’s fifth cough, his eyebrows gently knitted together into a worried expression; He felt like he had seen that expression before. Tight. Suffocating.
“yes, sorry.” Alan apologised, hyperaware of the heat that was prickling at the corner of his eyes. Due to the excessive repressed coughing, his body couldn’t hold the amount of stress his body was attempting to contain, the vigorous thorns pushing deeper into his lungs. “excuse me for a moment.” Alan managed, already entering another coughing fit.
He knew he needed to make a quick escape, the next thorn flowers already ready to put up a fight to leave his system. He left the documents scattered across the table, leaving Gaipa alone for a moment as he disappeared to go deal with his situation.
Gaipa seemed concerned, patiently waiting in his seat at the local food place they chose to meet at, watching as Alan excused himself towards the restrooms. He continued skimming over the documents that he had just signed, yet as more time started to pass, he started to grow more worried about Alan. He had been gone for a while now, still no sign of him returning soon.
He knew he should have, but Gaipa just couldn’t contain his curiosity. He wanted to make sure Alan was okay. So, he stood from his seat, a squeamish scraping noise coming from his chair scraping from the floor, and headed towards the restrooms. He gently pushed the door ajar, hesitant to fully enter.
“Mr. Lertwongsa?” Gaipa called out, his angelic voice so soft and warm like Bangkoks cool breeze. However, Alan didn’t reply.
Gaipa stepped inside, closing in on the singular cubicle that was half shut, only the door left ajar. He waited a couple more seconds, hoping for a response, but only silence followed. However, once he nudge the door open, his face drained of all colour.
Alan had his back against the wall, collapsed on the floor, withered petals with twisted thorn flowers surrounding him. “Alan!” Gaipa yelped, shuddering at the sight, shaking his shoulder to try and wake him up. He could feel the adrenaline numbing his body from head to toe, unable to move in the moment. His heart was beating louder, unable to focus on anything else but the motionless figure beside him. He involuntarily pulled his fingers up towards Alan’s neck, checking for a pulse. Luckily, there was still a rhythm but it was alarmingly slow and faint. Gaipa bit his tongue, his gaze settling back onto Alan. He looked so pale and tired and Gaipa hated that he couldn’t help. He should have seen the signs. He should have noticed that Alan was also battling the same disease. He should have helped in any way he could.
Still panicked, Gaipa pulled out his phone and dialled emergency services to get an ambulance as quick as possible. After he explained, his voice breaking up and wavering through the line, he kneeled beside Alan and brushed all the bloody flower remains off of him.
The ambulance soon arrived, carrying up into the back with a stretcher. “are you a next of kin to the individual?” A paramedic asked Gaipa.
He shook his head frantically, feeling his eyes getting teary. “can i still go with him?” He asked, clutching onto his own hands tightly at an attempt to stop them from shaking uncontrollably.
“yes,” The paramedic nodded, a sigh of relief deflating from Gaipa, a breathe he didn’t know he had been holding. “would you be able to confirm his identity for doctors down at the hospital?” They asked.
Gaiap nodded frantically, following the paramedics directing gesture towards the ambulance. He entered the back door, observing Alan lying on the stretcher. The vehicle started moving, the lights blaring and the emergency sound blasting, yet Gaipa could barely take any of it in. Everything seemed distant when Alan was the spotlight of his attention.
Not long later, they arrived at the hospital. Alan was sent to the emergency room, whilst Gaipa was stuck in the waiting room. He had a few nurses approach him, asking for details about Alan and his relation to him. He explained that he was just a client but he was there at the place of incident. They bowed politely, leaving Gaipa stuck back in the cold waiting room.
Gaipa was left with his thoughts, some conclusions he had jumped to making him feel physically sick. He could feel his chest aching again, but he wasn’t sure it was the thorn flowers this time. Trying to distract himself, he shook his head and opened his phone. He tired to find any other source to keep himself occupied, trying to block out the thought of Alan in the room down the ward. Unconventionally, he saw an article about hanahaki disease. The name made him clutch his phone tighter, his lungs feeling as if they were drowning, filled with a mix of anxiety and parasitic plants. He pushed the feeling down to the irrigated pit in his stomach, knowing he was just overthinking it.
He knew he should have ignored it, scrolled past it, but something drew him closer. Hesitantly, he clicked the link and scrolled a little further down. A cluster of information was flooding his view, yet one thing did seem to catch his eye. The article read:
‘If two people with the same deteriorating disease share a kiss of shared unrequited love, both of their illnesses will vanish.’
Gaipa paused, silently blinking at his phone. He knew the source had no evidence or remotely any verification, but it made Gaipa think. Think of a solution to help Alan and himself. If this was true…he needed to get to Alan now!
He immediately stood up, pushing the doors open and finding Alan’s room. He watched as a nurse had just left, a clipboard of various different information overriding the page. He opened the door, met with Alan sitting up in the hospital bed. Relieving, he was awake and had a steady heart rate, the monitor beeping in a repetitive rhythm.
“Gaipa.” Alan called out, immediately smiling once he laid his eyes upon Gaipa, his smile soft but his voice weak. Gaipa rushed over to him, unconsciously grabbing his hand. Alan squeezed his hand back, his smirk still remaining.
“why didn’t you tell me?” Gaipa said, his eyebrows furrowed with worry. Alan could tell, yet he didn’t want to worry Gaipa with his personal issues. So instead, he remained silent.
Gaipa sighed, pushing Alan’s glasses back to the bridge of his nose for him. He could feel his muscles aching to move, yet he knew he didn’t have time to explain everything. For all he knows, Alan could cough up another dozen flowers before he gets the chance to help him. “Alan.” Gaipa deadpanned, his tone firm and clearly uncertain. “i might be able to help, but you have to trust me, na?”
“what do you mean?” Alan asked, holding back another cough. He knew he didn’t want to admit it, but he was starting to accept his fate. Even if it meant dying in Wen’s name, even if it meant dying painfully, his heart felt a little less heavy at the thought of Gaipa being his last sore sight.
Gaipa frowned, unsure if this will even work. However, he held onto the last little bit of remaining hope, pouncing forward and catching Alan’s lips against his. Alan’s eyes widened, the sudden kiss catching him off guard. Although, he knew he didn’t want to pull away. Instead, his eyes slowly fluttered shut and he let himself enjoy potentially one of his last moments.
Alan and Gaipa could feel a compressed warmth flourishing inside their chest, a bond they silently shared and couldn’t quite describe. The linked pain they had both been suffering could be felt fading away, their lips delivering an unknown burst of blissfulness that neither had experienced before.
Gaia soon pulled away, a shy smirk on his face. He didn’t know what to say, but he got the impression that Alan didn’t need one. He already felt it.
“how did you do that?” Alan asked, his mouth open slightly with shock. He rested his palm on his chest, unable to feel the constant throbbing he had earlier been stuck with.
“it doesn’t matter.” Gaia assured, feeling his eyes gainful moisture again. Hey didn’t know for definite, but the signs were already indicating the positive result they had been wishing for. “but…i think that we are cured now.”
“we?” Alan asked, a subtle crease between his brows, his stomach twisting unwillingly.
“i also had the disease.” Gaipa sighed, not wanting to put Alan under more unnecessary stress. “but we don’t have to worry anymore, nm?” Gaipa assured, squeezing Alan’s hand gently.
Alan’s expression turned soft, unable to fathom the idea of Gaipa silently struggling just as much as he did. Alan sighed, glad that it was him sitting in the hospital bed right now instead of Gaipa. He wasn’t sure if his heart could handle the roles being reversed.
Alan nodded, carefully lifting his hand and wiping at Gaipa’s cheek, catching the stray tear that escaped past his glossy eyes. “don’t cry,” Alan shook his head, feeling his own eyes prickling with tears. “you saved me, and that’s the most generous thing somebody has ever done for me.” Gaipa sniffled at the undeniable certainty in Alan’s voice, nudging himself forward and wrapping his arms around Alan. He knew they weren’t the closest of friends, but Gaipa had grown a soft spot for Alan over the past few months. Maybe he didn’t want to admit that his feelings went beyond platonic, but that was an issue to deal with for another day.
He was just relieved that him and Alan would make it to see that day come.