Archive of Our Own

The club was dark when Jimin arrived with the occasional sweeping strobe. He got in relatively easily, the bouncer knew who he was after a few months of seeing him standing awkwardly outside until Seokjin came to get him.

“Hey I thought you weren’t going to make it bro.” Jimin felt a hand come down on his shoulder and clench tight and turned to meet the eyes of his oldest friend, Kim Taehyung.

“Even Jimin wouldn’t miss a chance to show those assholes up.”

That was Jungkook, speaking from his other side. Jimin felt sometimes disgruntled when he had to look up when speaking to his younger friend. It should have been Jungkook who had to stand outside in the cold waiting to get inside the club, not the perfectly legal Jimin.

“What do you mean, ‘even Jimin’?” He whined as they moved forwards, pushing through the crowd to get the bar. It was their tradition to take a shot before the battle began. The crowd was difficult to traverse, a roiling mass of overexcited fans of either Bulletproof Crew or Boy Scouts. Jimin noted ruefully that the majority appeared to be Bulletproof fans judging by the jostling he and his friends were receiving.

“I mean that no one would be able to guess the kind of life that dance god Park Jimin leads. Boy Scout by night and model student and filial son by day.”

Jungkook spoke with the kind of disgust in his voice that Jimin had been noticing more and more lately. He worried for his younger friend, knowing that he was spending more and more time away from his home and on the streets, causing trouble.

“The usual?” Thankfully it was Seokjin behind the bar, smiling at them across the wide shiny expanse of wood. No one else would serve them, and not even he would serve Jungkook, much to the kid’s displeasure.

“You ready for tonight Jimin?” Seokjin asked as he filled a couple shot glasses with whisky. He ran the club out of  his parents’ pocket so he could afford to lose some profit serving expensive liquor to his friends.

“Yeah I’m ready.” Jimin willed the words to be true as they left his mouth. He knew he was a good dancer. He had trained for years in secret, knew how to move almost instinctively, but a tiny part of him was scared that the other guy was better.

Bulletproof Crew was an established team in the underground scene whereas Boy Scouts were a rookie group. Jungkook liked to say that that made them better; newer and younger and fiercer, but Jimin had to admit that there was something to be said for finesse. And finesse was something that he and his other crew members didn’t quite have yet.

His opponent that evening was someone he’d never gone up against in a dance off. J-Hope, the legendary dancer of the underground scene. From where they were now situated by the bar Jimin could see Bulletproof Crew. It felt kind of funny to finally be facing them in person. Rap Monster was the tall gangly one lounging closest to the stage, Agust D was the shorter one in the cap and J-Hope, his rival, was standing up and looking out over the crowd with a calculating look in his eyes.

“So who are you going to be cheering for Jinnie?” Taehyung slammed his shot glass onto the counter and narrowed his eyes at Seokjin who just smiled in response.

“My friends.”

“You know one of these days you’re going to have to pick a side.” Jungkook said, spinning on his bar stool and trying to catch the eye of one of the scantily clad college girls a few feet away. When one of them looked over and smiled he almost fell off.

“You know what? I don’t think I will.”

“You know we’ve never actually met the guys right?” Jimin blurted out. “They could be really chill for all we know.”

“Oh c’mon they’re basically begging to be taken down.” Jungkook said excitedly. “I mean look at the guy.” He indicated Rap Monster who was enthusiastically bopping to the music that was playing. “Is that a human or a noodle? I’d like to see you go against him in a dance battle, Chim.”

“That’d be like taking candy from a baby.” Taehyung chimed in with a grin. Jimin could have rolled his eyes. Taehyung may have been his age, but he couldn’t help feeling sometimes like he was more on Jungkook’s level.

“Alright Jimin they’re ready for you.” Jin nodded towards the stage.

Jimin took a deep breath. He could feel a warmth spreading through his veins from the whisky and he felt ever so slightly more relaxed. He could see J-Hope waiting on the stage, looking like he belonged there, just doing a short of shuffle and hip swing to the shitty club music that was pulsing through the speakers to get the audience going.

Jimin pulled his mask up over his mouth and nose, a precaution in case someone recognized him and word got back to his parents that their son was dancing in clubs on school nights. Then he walked out onto the stage, sinking back slightly into his hips so that he looked more confident and relaxed.

J-Hope looked up and they locked eyes. The other boy jerked his head at the corner of the stage as if to tell Jimin to wait his turn. He supposed that it made sense for the more experienced dancer to go first, and he knew that sometimes being the last thing the audience saw could have its advantages. He had a feeling that J-Hope knew that as well and was confident enough in his ability to take the first spot anyways. That didn’t bode well for Jimin. Of course he could just be cocky. There was no way of telling until J-Hope started dancing.

A peppy, slightly jazzy, hip hop beat came on over the speakers, replacing the music that had previously been playing. J-Hope stepped up closer to the front of the stage and began to move and Jimin felt his stomach drop.

It was almost as if each individual part of the other boy’s body had a mind of its own and moved independently from the rest. Jimin knew a little about popping and locking but he knew that it wasn’t his strength, or at least he wasn’t on the same level as J-Hope. The other boy started with a few body isolations, rocking up and down and side to side on his heels so he was moving without really taking a step. There was a smile on his face as he teased the audience and then he dropped to the ground, spinning as he went and letting his ankles fall in so he ended up on his knees and then he was on his feet again before Jimin knew what had happened.

He had a technique that almost looked as if his joints were breaking, as though he shouldn’t be able to move that way, but he was and Jimin had to admit he was fucking good.

The song finished and J-Hope flashed a confident, winning smile at the audience, flicking his tongue out to wet his lips and tilting his head back and breathing hard, though not nearly as hard as Jimin would have expected after a routine like that.

“Good luck kid.” J-Hope said as he passed Jimin on his way to join the rest of his crew. To Jimin’s surprise it actually sounded like he meant it.

“And next up from the Boy Scouts this time, we have Jimin!” Jin yelled and Jimin did his best to saunter onto the stage. He was starting much further back and his heart was thumping in nervousness. Would he be able to keep their attention if they could barely see him through the gloom? The crowd was screaming and heckling as crowds were wont to do. Jimin had experienced it all before and when the first notes of “Own It” came on over the speakers he felt himself relax. He had been through the routine with Jungkook so many times before that it was almost second nature and he was glad that this was the song he was going with tonight.

It was a difficult choreography, with lots of sharp hits and slow sustained movements, mostly centred in the hips, but Jimin knew he looked good and as the lights came on in greater force and the crowd screamed, he knew he was in the right place.

He approached the audience with gliding steps as the song neared its climax and heard appreciative murmurs. It was a slower song but he had their attention and that was a good sign.

He finished with a hit and drop, bouncing slightly before becoming still and heard the crowd scream in response when they realized it was over.

“YES CHIM!” He heard a scream and suppressed a grin knowing it was Taehyung.

“Alright thank you. So you know how we do things. You scream and we decide who the winner is by how loud you are. You want someone to win, all you gotta do is scream until your throat bleeds. Let’s get this started. LET’S HEAR IT FOR J-HOPE!”

Jimin felt his heart leap into his throat when he heard the deafening roar from the crowd in response. Then, as if he were in a dream, he heard Seokjin announcing his name and the thundering response. He couldn’t be sure but he thought that it had been a little louder…

“And the winner is Jimin of Boy Scouts!”

“Agust D!”

Yoongi felt the cheers and the bass of the speakers deep in his bones before he registered the obnoxiously loud announcement of his stage name. Adrenaline pumping through his veins, he stepped into the blinding spotlight, mic in hand. He remembered the relaxed and calm way the rival dancer had walked onto stage, the gracefulness of his movements visible even when he wasn’t dancing. Although Yoongi felt his hands shaking slightly from the excitement of being on stage, he forced himself to take a deep breath and raise the microphone to his waiting lips, using the other hand to cue the DJ to play his track.

As soon as he heard the first beat of the track he had tirelessly labored over for countless sleepless nights, Yoongi felt a fire ignite in his body, urging him forward to raise his head and face the crowd and do what he did best: rap. The first syllables that left his parted pink lips were shaky, and for a single terrifying moment, he was afraid he would forget or mess up the lyrics.

But he had practiced too much, he had wrapped his tongue around these beautiful words of his too many times, and he had simply worked so damn hard for this; there was no way he was going to let a little nervousness ruin this night for him.

So he steeled his nerves, swallowing hard during a chorus break in the song, and when he began the second verse, he could barely hear his own voice, his determination drowning out all other sounds. He wasn’t sure how he was doing, but judging by the audience’s reactions, he was doing pretty damn good.

Through the darkness of his oversized sunglasses, Yoongi spotted one boy in the back, his mop of brown hair flying wildly as he danced and jumped to the beat, to the horror of his much shorter, black haired friend standing next to him. He allowed himself a small delicate smile during the next chorus break, seeing how moved some of his fans were.

The last verse was the hardest one, one that Yoongi had stumbled over countless times, but he had nailed it countless more times. He closed his eyes in concentration and bent his head towards the ground as the beat began to pick up with the intensity of his rapping. He heard the cheers and whoops of the crowd getting steadily louder, and as the final line left his tired and worn lips, Yoongi let a large gummy grin overtake his face as he faced the crowd again.

“And now…” he heard Seokjin announce, “here’s Rap Monster!” Yoongi guessed most people would not be able to hear the small squeaking noise Seokjin had made afterwards, but Yoongi had definitely noticed, and his grin only grew wider because of the obviousness of Seokjin’s crush on his best friend. Yoongi assumed Seokjin was taken by surprise by Namjoon’s new white blond locks, his lightened hair styled into a lazy quiff.

Namjoon’s lanky form appeared beside him, his signature smirk present underneath his own sunglasses. He nodded at Yoongi, and Yoongi cued the DJ again. The beat and feel to this song was obnoxious and grating to the ears, and it was perfect because this was their diss track, dedicated to those wannabe hip hop upstarts, Boy Scouts crew.

Namjoon started off, his hard hitting lyrics criticizing the ages and inexperience of the Boy Scouts members. That would be sure to hit a nerve, Yoongi thought, the Boy Scouts were always so sensitive about their rookie status.

Yoongi chuckled as Namjoon continued, ridiculing the horrendous rap technique of one of the Boy Scout members, and adding how the other rapper had to work twice as hard to cover up the flimsy delivery of his partner. In Yoongi’s opinion, the weaker rapper from the Boy Scouts should really reconsider his profession. He’d probably fare better in say...the clown business.

The loud and vulgar chorus of their track blasted through the speakers, cursing their rivals mercilessly. Yoongi could see Namjoon’s dimpled grin at the crowd’s excited reactions. Yoongi wondered how the Boy Scouts members felt about their reputation being torn apart in front of such a large and unforgiving audience.

Yoongi raised the mic and began to rap once more, this time targeting the stronger rapper from the Boy Scouts. They refused to mention the Boy Scouts’ stage names in the song, believing that the members were too insignificant to warrant their names being put into a song of theirs.

He rapped about how although the strongest rapper of their crew had talent, that much he could admit, the blunders and inexperience of the other member ruined him, how he hadn’t honed his rapping enough to play with the “big boys” yet, how he was good but not good enough to go against Yoongi and Namjoon.

Instead of letting the hook play in the background again, this time Yoongi and Namjoon shouted the hook at the crowd, their cruel words falling one by one without regret, asking the Boy Scouts to simply quit and stay home like good high school students.

The crowd’s restless energy seemed to explode as the song closed out with a final loud drumbeat; the screams and clapping loud enough to make Yoongi’s head pound even more. He loved every moment of it. He was born to be on stage.

Yoongi and Namjoon walked offstage with heads held high. They were good and they knew it; if only the Boy Scouts would just give it up and admit they were shit.

Yoongi turned to Namjoon as they stood backstage wiping sweat and drinking hasty gulps of water after their intense performance. “You nailed it man,” Namjoon smacked Yoongi’s back harshly with pride, “Not one mistake made.”

Yoongi chuckled and replied, “Same to you bro. That track will shut those idiots up for sure.” He swallowed another gulp of cool water. “Where’s Hoseok?”

“Probably out in the crowd somewhere, let’s go hunt him down.”

They entered the dimly lit audience area, quickly spotting Hoseok leaning against the back wall next to the bar, chatting up the bartender as usual. Yoongi and Namjoon practically tackled Hoseok, congratulating him on his performance wholeheartedly despite his loss, but Hoseok waved them off, saying “Wait guys, let’s catch what the Boy Scouts rappers have to say, I need my daily dose of comedy” offhandedly as Seokjin’s voice echoed throughout the club again.

“And finally, we have rappers V and Jungkook, of the Boy Scouts crew!”

“We’re leaving, we’re leaving!” Jimin said hastily to the bouncer, arm around Jungkook’s shoulders as he and Taehyung battled the crowd to get out. Jimin wished that outbursts from his younger friend’s temper were a rare occurrence but unfortunately Jungkook was a sore loser.

“Why do we have to leave?” He growled, squirming in Jimin’s grip. “That Agust dickhead is is still in there having a great time.”

“If you don’t go home tonight your parents will murder me.” Jimin responded, struggling to keep calm. He wondered if it was just him that saw their underground crew as something fun rather than something serious. Judging by Taehyung’s silence he wasn’t feeling too great either which Jimin could understand. Some of the other rappers’ smackdowns had been incredibly harsh. He wasn’t a lyricist himself but he could appreciate the way that Agust D asshole had played with words as though it was nothing. He was pretty cool.

“To think I actually cheered him on.” Taehyung muttered sulkily.

“Guys this is only our fourth battle and it’s our first time going up against an experienced crew. Did you see the way their dancer dropped? It was like he didn’t have bones.”

“Yeah whatever you still won though.” Jungkook muttered. Jimin didn’t respond. He knew his friend didn’t mean anything by it.

It was past one am so the three boys started walking towards a place they knew they could get a cab. Jimin didn’t feel ready for the night to end but he was the only one out of the three who was still running on a high. His friends were down, sweat soaked hair sticking to their foreheads, radiating dejection.

“Hey, you guys want to stop by that convenience store for some ramen?” He asked impulsively.

“Nah man I’m about done.”

“Me too.”

Jimin walked his friends to a cab but the night air felt so good on his face and he was thrumming with adrenaline so instead of getting inside the car, he shoved his hands into his pockets and started back towards the convenience store he’d spotted.

He knew that he was done for if he didn’t make it home before his parents woke up in the morning but he’d made it four months without getting caught, without taking a single risk, and he was honestly sick of it. He wondered if his straightlaced parents had ever had a rebellious phase; whether someday years in the future he would have forgotten the feeling now racing through his veins enough to send his own teenaged children to their rooms while nighttime city streets called their names.

The convenience store was typical for the area, mostly deserted and smelling faintly of soju, the kind of place that high school kids who were out far too late on a school night and old homeless men hung out in. Jimin supposed that he fit into the former category though he was due to graduate in a few months.

There was no one inside except for the bored, sulky looking college girl behind the counter and a guy with intensely bleached blond hair who stood with his back to Jimin, filling up a cup of ramen with hot water. Jimin couldn’t help smiling slightly as he realized someone had had the same thought as him. He wondered if the other guy had been at Seokjin’s club as well. A lot of the fans sported dyed hair as a mark of their free spirited rebelliousness so there was no guarantee he would have noticed him if he was in the club.

“Is that all?” The girl snapped her gum as she scanned Jimin’s ramen.

“Yeah.” He grabbed the cup and the change and headed over to the counter. The other boy was now doing something on his phone, muttering to himself and tapping long fingers on the countertop. As Jimin watched, he wound some of the noodles around his chopsticks and shoved it into his mouth, before immediately spitting it back out with a yelped curse.

He looked up and saw Jimin standing and watching him and Jimin immediately blushed though not entirely sure why. The blond was scowling and his gaze was intense.

“Uh. Sorry.” Jimin moved quickly to the other side to add hot water to his ramen, trying not to look at the boy again, which was surprisingly hard to do.

“Were you at the club?” Jimin looked up in surprise at the sound of the other boy’s voice.

“Um. Yes.” He immediately looked back down.

Good job Park Jimin, you are a master of conversation. He probably thinks you’re boring now. Cool blond strangers will never talk to you again…

“So which group were you rooting for?” The young man interrupted Jimin’s inner monologue, surprising him once again. He supposed the blond boy must be in a chatty mood. He realized that the face mask he had worn and his nondescript clothing meant that he hadn’t been recognized and he found that being incognito suited him just fine.

“Well I don’t know yet. That Agust D guy seems pretty cool.” He said and was rewarded with a huge grin from the stranger.

“Oh yeah he’s sick. I knew him in high school, he was super popular. Total genius too. I also heard he’s really good looking.”

“I dunno, he seems kind of short. Actually, I think I’m more of a Boy Scouts fan.” Jimin remembered how surprised he’d been when he’d seen Agust D standing next to Rap Monster during their duo performance. When he’d stood alone he’d seemed larger than life, and way too cool.

The other boy coughed loudly. “Right.” He said.

“Ramen still too hot?” Jimin found that conversation was coming easier now. The blond was less intimidating when he smiled, and much better looking, Jimin thought. He had a slim build that didn’t match at all with the ferocity of his gaze and Jimin found that he wouldn’t mind sitting and chatting with him for a while longer.

“Nah it’s fine. So what’s your name?”

“It’s uh...I’m Jimin.” Jimin paused for a moment before saying his name, worried that he would be recognized and not sure why he had such a strong aversion to the idea of the other boy knowing that he was dancer Jimin from the Boy Scouts.

His worry, however, was unfounded. No realization came into the other boy’s eyes, he simply smiled and extended his hand to shake.

“I’m Yoongi.” He said.

“So what do you do in life Yoongi...hyung?” Jimin guessed by the informal way that Yoongi was speaking that he must be older but he had never called another guy “hyung” that he hadn’t known for a significant period of time. It felt a little like flirting and he found he was unable to hold eye contact.

“Oh that’s a secret.” Yoongi said, smirking. Jimin couldn’t be sure, but he thought that just maybe the other boy was flirting back.

“Maybe one day you’ll tell me?” Jimin regretted the words as soon as he’d said them. There was no guarantee that he’d ever see the guy again. He thought it was probably the most forward thing he’d ever done.

“We’ll see.” Jimin felt his heart sinking. He had no idea if Yoongi was even talking to him because he was interested or if he was just friendly. Jimin realized that his ramen had gotten cold and congealed and got up to dump it. Maybe if he got out really quickly he could forget his embarrassment and…

“Hey so how about you give me your number and maybe I’ll feel like telling you more about myself tomorrow. If you admit that Bulletproof Crew is better than Boy Scouts that is.” Jimin turned, jaw dropping. He didn’t think he’d ever been asked for his number before and certainly not by a good looking stranger in a convenience store. It was the kind of thing that happened in movies.

“I...uh…”

“If not then whatever.” Then Jimin didn’t know what to do because he couldn’t even form a coherent sentence and Yoongi was getting up and looking as if he was about to leave.

“WAIT.” Jimin winced at how loudly he had spoken as Yoongi turned around with an amused look on his face.

“3124587.” Jimin spat out.

“Whoah I definitely didn’t get that. Give me your phone.”

Yoongi blinked his tired eyes open, squinting at the rays of mid-afternoon sunshine peaking through his firmly closed curtains. He had stayed up late again working on a few new tracks, and hopefully today he could get some feedback from the other two and maybe start writing and recording their verses.

He yawned widely, stretching his arms far above his head as he groaned, before reaching for his phone. The screen was filled with notifications from Hoseok and Namjoon because he was already five minutes late to their work and recording session.

Yoongi groaned again and with too much effort, pulled himself out of bed, throwing on the first hoodie and sweatpants he found. He hastily splashed some cold water on his face to wake himself up properly before dashing out of the house, the zip drive with the new mixed and mastered tracks in hand.

He stopped by a local coffeeshop to grab an americano to go, knowing that he definitely needed the extra burst of energy for the work session. He made it to the studio about half an hour late, muttering insincere apologies about how he had slept in and forgotten to set an alarm. It was Saturday, for Christ’s sake, who would set an alarm on their phone on a Saturday? Hoseok and Namjoon’s disapproving and annoyed glares at him said that they thought otherwise. They needed to loosen up a little, Yoongi thought.

“But…” Yoongi sighed, “I finished mixing two new tracks for us last night.” Hoseok and Namjoon seemed placated at that, and Yoongi hurried to plug the zip drive in and push the play button so they could hear the beats he had perfected.

He smirked as he saw impressed expressions slowly cross over Namjoon and Hoseok’s faces. Yoongi knew these tracks were good, he had produced them, hadn’t he?

“So, do you guys like them?” Yoongi asked when they had finished listening, even though he already knew their answers.

“Yeah, I see a lot of potential in them, especially the second one, I think the beat would really suit my rapping style,” Namjoon said, “I think we should definitely add Hoseok on these tracks too, his voice would really contrast with the soft pulsing beats…” he kept blabbing on and on about how they could turn the beats into two really mind blowing songs, throwing in compliments for Hoseok and Yoongi occasionally, and Yoongi’s tired mind zoned out blissfully, his body longing to be back home, tucked into his warm and comforting bed.

Namjoon and Hoseok had started to take pieces of paper out, jotting down whatever random lyrics came to their mind. Yoongi had suggested that the first track be written as a diss track, not to the Boy Scouts crew, they were much too irrelevant anyways, but rather to their haters as a whole. It would give them more interesting material for the lyrics and would probably become very popular among their loyal fans. They seemed to always like the aggressive and angry-sounding songs the best.

Yoongi stared blankly at the sheet of paper in front of him, struggling to find a single lyric or word that would help activate his inspiration. He thought about what a lot of the Boy Scouts fans would say to get under their skin, and his pen finally hit the paper, his words suddenly spilling out of him in a flood.

Surprisingly, Yoongi managed to finish writing his verse before Namjoon and Hoseok did. He stretched his arms again, massaging his sore right hand before checking the time on his phone. To his shock, there was a single notification waiting for him. It was a text message from an unfamiliar phone number, sent about fifteen minutes earlier, and Yoongi knew there was only one person it could be.

hi! :) it’s jimin from last night lol It said simply.

Yoongi really didn’t expect Jimin to text him so soon after their whirlwind of a meeting, but he found himself grinning widely to himself, glad that he didn’t have to wait too long to hear from him again.

hey it’s yoongi from last night He texted back quickly, hoping that Jimin was still near his phone so he could respond immediately.

Yoongi smiled to himself when, in fact, Jimin did reply immediately. how are you, hyung?

pretty good i guess, u?

i’m good...wyd right now?

just working on some stuff with my friends

ooh what kind of ‘stuff’?

music

i didn’t know u did music, hyung Yoongi laughed at that, music was his life. He supposed now was a great time to open up to Jimin and hopefully, learn a little bit more about him as well. Now that he thought about it, Yoongi didn’t know much else about Jimin except that he loved the Boy Scouts, that he got really shy and red easily, and that he had the most adorable eye smile Yoongi had ever seen.

yeah...well actually, its kind of my life

that’s really cool hyung!

what about you? have any passions or hobbies i should know about?

hmm...well I dance a lot on the side

oh? Yoongi didn’t really peg Jimin as a dancer type.

yeah im a student by day dancer by night

not a full time dancer?

no my parents would never accept it lol

oh that sucks...my parents werent exactly thrilled about my career choice either but they got over it eventually. im sure your parents will come around

yeah i hope so haha. so what kind of music do you make then, hyung?

Yoongi’s face ached from smiling so much. He imagined what Jimin, a huge fan of an underground crew, would think about his career as a rapper. Jimin would probably be thrilled, seeing as how passionate he was about Jungkook and V’s rapping last night.

well...i rap

oh really?!

yeah my friends and i r rappers

i couldn’t really see u as a singer anyways...i guess that explains why you were at the club yesterday, ur not just a fan, ur also an actual rapper 2!

yeah pretty much lmao, i also produce most of my own tracks

wow, ur pretty talented arent you hyung?

lol don’t flatter me, jiminie

yeah then ur ego will get too big and youll start trying to convince me that bulletproof crew is better than boy scouts again

...i thought we ended this argument yesterday?

whatever...

i mean, i thought we clearly established that BC is better than BS bc literally, boy scouts is abbreviated as BS...that has to say something, rite?

i don’t see ur point, hyung

there is no point to make, BC is better bc its BC, end of story

tbh i feel like ur discrediting boy scouts too much, their good, look at jungkook

yeah i’ve looked at him about 100 times in my lifetime, and tbh that’s 100 times 2 many

U CANT MEAN THAT, HYUNG?!

ok maybe that was a little harsh, the kid has talent, but he’s not on BC level yet

yeah whatever, what about the dancer tho? he beat jhope yesterday, didnt he?

hes alright

WHAT?! HES ALRIGHT?! plz hyung u cant be serious rn Yoongi laughed at Jimin’s affinity for turning to all caps to express his frustration.

fine, hes good, but i think he just got lucky last nite

well, he’ll prove you wrong when he beats jhope again next time

yeah like thats ever going to happen again, jhope is one of the best dancers to grace this godforsaken planet dont get so confident over 1 measly win

jhope is good, ill give you that, but i think jimin can give him a run for his money

u just like him bc u have the same name

not tru! Yoongi could imagine Jimin pouting while texting him; he liked seeing Jimin try his hardest to convince him that Boy Scouts were better than Bulletproof Crew. It was adorable to see what a fanboy Jimin could become at times.

sure...whateva u say jiminie..

ur impossible hyung…

yet u still keep texting me…

shut up!

no

i didnt think ud be this annoying, i thought u got it outta ur system last night :(

well now u kno im like this all the time :)

Yoongi looked at the clock at the top of his screen. It was already almost one in the morning. He had noticed Hoseok and Namjoon leaving for a late dinner a few hours ago, leaving Yoongi to his own devices, but he didn’t realize how much time had passed by so quickly.

He waited another twenty minutes to see if Jimin would reply, but to his disappointment,  nothing came. Yoongi sighed before deciding to call it a day, yawning as he turned the studio’s lights off and headed home, to the comfortable and warm bed he had missed so dearly all day.

Jimin had awoken in a panic to the last text from Yoongi waiting in his inbox. He’d sent a frantic message explaining that he’d fallen asleep, no thoughts of playing it cool in his head, too new to the game and too infatuated already.

It hadn’t mattered. Yoongi and Jimin had found that they suited each other remarkably well as the days they spent together turned into weeks and those weeks turned into months and, slowly at first, but then suddenly altogether, their worlds completely and irrevocably changed.

It had started with hesitant flirting through text messages, then it was sudden declarations of “It’s about damn time I take you out on a proper date, Park Jimin” and “Oh my God Yoongi hyung don’t be so dramatic,” and then it was the second and third and tenth dates with countless casual “hang out” sessions thrown in, until neither of them could deny that what they felt for each other wasn’t just some shallow attraction.

“So, when are you going to introduce us?” Namjoon asked one day, during a late-night recording session at the studio as Hoseok leaned in eagerly to hear the response. Yoongi didn’t answer immediately, thinking of the way the streetlight outside Jimin’s parents house had lit up his skin with a golden glow when he’d walked him home the night before, the way he’d closed his eyes and let out a little shocked sound that may have been a squeak when Yoongi had leaned in to kiss him. He still marveled at how shy the other boy was for someone so pretty.

“Well?”   

“Never! He’s mine!” Yoongi grabbed the last energy drink and ran off to work on some lyrics on his own. They were too embarrassing to show to anyone. He was realizing that liking someone as much as he liked Jimin did strange things to the brain. He hadn’t written a diss track in far too long, the only words that he seemed able to put down were sickening even to him, and yet he couldn’t stop smiling.

Jimin found that his mind was with Yoongi even when his body wasn’t which made it hard to concentrate. Jungkook was getting fed up with his fumbles during practice but he’d still won the last couple dance offs so he didn’t see what the younger boy had to complain about.

“You’ll understand later.” He said loftily, reaching up to pat his younger friend’s head. Jungkook hadn’t been impressed but Yoongi had chuckled when he was told the story later as they lay on the couch, snuggled up in blankets. There was a movie on but they weren’t really watching; too wrapped up in each other.

“He sounds like a handful. How long have you known him?” He asked, brushing a lock of hair absently back from Jimin’s forehead.

“Since we were kids. We’ve always danced together.”

“I’ll have to see this famous dancing someday.” Yoongi whispered huskily and Jimin buried his head in the blanket.

“Hyuuuung it’s embarrassing!” He said.

It was midway through the second month of dating that Jimin realized that he was in love with Yoongi but he kept it to himself, terrified that he was moving too quickly on his own. He was terrified of a lot of things when it came to the other boy, like how young and inexperienced he seemed both in matters pertaining to their relationship and their respective lives.

It was a novelty to walk around Yoongi’s apartment and see the traces of him everywhere. His room in his parents’ house seemed childish in comparison. And when he thought of his own small acts of rebellion, sneaking out of the house to dance in underground competitions, they seemed silly and trivial when compared with Yoongi’s blossoming career.

He had really meant to tell Yoongi that he was actually the dancer from Boy Scouts but he had let the joking competition between them over which group was better drag on too long and the words just wouldn’t come.

With the realization that he was in love, came a whole lot of other things that were far less pleasant, like the insecurity and the worrying. It was too often that he sat up in Yoongi’s living room binge watching dramas that he’d recorded while he waited for his boyfriend to finish the song that he was working on.

Too often Yoongi didn’t finish and fell asleep, head pillowed on his arms, and Jimin would carry him to the bed and hold him until he too succumbed to sleep, worrying at how thin and fragile Yoongi felt in his arms and the deep shadows forming under his eyes.

On those occasions the first emotion that Yoongi felt upon blinking blearily awake was happiness at looking at Jimin’s peaceful face. The second emotion, however, was guilt. He knew that he didn’t give his boyfriend enough attention and he noticed a look on Jimin’s face sometimes, when he didn’t think Yoongi was looking, that said he didn’t think he was good enough.

That wasn’t it at all, it was just that Yoongi didn’t know how to take a break. He was head over heels for the adorable idiot but whenever he opened his mouth to tell him he ended up saying something entirely different like “hey let’s see a movie this weekend” or “don’t put too much water in that ramen you’ll ruin it” so he would watch helplessly as Jimin forced a smile and told him it was ok, he hadn’t waited for him very long or it was ok he didn’t mind that they hadn’t seen each other in a few days.

It was that look, that specific puppy-dog eyed look and that forced smile that had led Yoongi to give Jimin a key to his apartment. Not even Namjoon nor Hoseok had a spare one he’d told him, watching the adorable way Jimin’s eyes crinkled with immense delight.

He hadn’t worried that they were moving too fast for one moment, hadn’t worried that they hadn’t even met each others’ friends or families. All he knew was that he slept better when Jimin was next to him in the bed and that waking up to his sleepy mumbling and the way he hung onto him like a baby koala was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

However, they regretted all the times they'd stayed silent about their true feelings towards each other when they were almost torn apart

It was Jimin and Yoongi’s first fight, about a month after their clumsy, awkward, innocent first kiss on Jimin’s doorstep, and about three weeks since their first not-so-innocent kiss in Yoongi’s apartment. They had been officially dating for about three months or so, and had known each other for almost five.

Jimin was concerned at how little sleep his boyfriend had been getting lately, and he was genuinely worried about Yoongi’s health. (Although Jimin did admit that he was just a teensy-weensy bit annoyed that Yoongi had fallen asleep during their dates on not one, not two, but three different occasions, leaving Jimin to laboriously drag Yoongi out of the restaurants and coffee shops and carry Yoongi bridal-style up three flights of stairs to the elder’s apartment. For someone so slim and short, Jimin was surprised by how heavy his boyfriend was, and his arms remained sore for at least a week from the effort.)

It was almost two in the morning, and Jimin had decided to stay over at Yoongi’s for the night, only to realize that he probably should have just stayed home, given how absorbed his boyfriend was in his various music projects. Yoongi had maybe said ten words to him in the five hours he had been there, and Jimin struggled to confess that he was getting just a little jealous of Yoongi’s music, seeing how much attention and dedication his boyfriend was giving it. All Jimin had wanted was just to spend the night with his favorite hyung in the world, maybe talking and watching movies and most of all, cuddling. Jimin really wanted to cuddle with Yoongi, but from the looks of it, Yoongi was going to spend all night staring at his computer screen again.

Jimin sighed loudly to himself, torn between concern and irritation, “Yoongi hyung, why don’t you come to bed already? It’s getting really late, you need your sleep, you know?”

Yoongi’s eyes didn’t move away from the screen in front of him. “I know Jiminie, just let me finish this one little thing and I’ll be there in a sec.”

Jimin sighed again. He waited another fifteen minutes before trying again. “Babe, it’s past two am already...come cuddle with me?” He knew Yoongi was a sucker for pet names.

“Sorry baby,” Jimin could tell there was no sincerity in his boyfriend’s apology, “I just really need to finish this tonight; I promise I’ll cuddle with you really really soon, ok?”

Jimin huffed and rolled over in Yoongi’s bed, burying his nose into the pillow, breathing in the musky smell of his boyfriend deeply and sighing in content. He almost fell asleep right then and there, but Jimin remembered that he really needed to coax Yoongi into sleeping tonight. So he pinched himself to stay awake a little more, this time waiting a full twenty minutes before calling Yoongi again.

“Hyung...it’s two thirty now, you really need to sleep, babe. You have a recording session tomorrow with Namjoon and Hoseok in the afternoon, you need to be well rested for that.” Yoongi didn’t respond at all. Jimin swallowed thickly before continuing, “Hyung, I’m getting kinda worried about you not sleeping enough. I know you really love music and it’s your life and you’re nothing without it and everything, but loving something isn’t supposed to make you stress yourself out and neglect your health like this. Please just come to bed babe,” Jimin pleaded.

Yoongi turned around in his swivel chair, an emotionless expression on his face. “Jimin, could you please be quiet while I finalize this one track?” He rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“I’ve been quiet, hyung. I’ve been quiet for the last six goddamn hours, hyung.” Jimin said tiredly. “Yoongi hyung, it’s so late right now and you really need to rest.” Jimin looked over the large purple eye bags underneath the elder’s eyes again. “You need sleep, hyung, you’re overworking yourself.”

Something flashed in Yoongi’s eyes. “Are you kidding me Jimin? I just asked you to be quiet for like five more fucking minutes and you decide it’s a great time to go nag me again and lecture me about sleeping? Maybe the reason I’m so stressed all the time is because you’re always nagging and bitching for me to do this and do that and you know what Jimin I am just sick and tired of it! I’m sick of this!”

Yoongi was practically shouting at this point, rage and frustration rolling off of him in dark, dark waves. Yoongi breathed in deeply through his nostrils before lowering his voice and tightly saying, “Not everyone has a family behind them all the time to pay the bills and support them in hard times, Jimin. I need to do music so I can get money to pay for the apartment you’re lying in right now! I can’t afford to fall behind at all, and I have to work late on these tracks because it’s the only source of income I fucking have! I wouldn’t expect you to understand what it’s like to have that kind of pressure all the goddamn time.” He sighed, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Park Jimin, I need to finish this track so Namjoon and Hoseok and I can record it in the afternoon. I’ll ‘cuddle’ with you after I finish, I just ask for some of your precious fucking patience right now. Is that too much to ask for?”

Jimin felt like he had been stabbed. He had started crying back when Yoongi shouted that he was sick of Jimin, silent tears rolling down his cheeks like condensation droplets on  windows during foggy days. Jimin took three shaky deep breaths before speaking.

“All I was trying to was get you to take care of yourself? Because when you’re sick and exhausted it hurts me too?” His voice cracked against his will. He swallowed, willing his voice to steady. “I’m sorry for interrupting your creative process or whatever, but if this is how you really feel about me then I guess you won’t have to worry about me bothering you anymore at all.” Jimin let the implications of that sentence hang in the air for a moment. “I just thought that you would appreciate me looking after your wellbeing, because that’s what boyfriends do, they take care of each other and hold each other and make each other smile when they’re upset. But I guess this is how you reciprocate all the concern I had for you…” Jimin turned away to sniffle to himself.

Yoongi was an asshole. He was such an asshole and he felt like the shittiest human being to ever walk this goddamn planet. Yoongi was the biggest asshole ever for making Jimin cry and for making Jimin feel like this .The guilt of what he had just done weighed heavily on him, and Yoongi slumped over in his chair, only partly out of exhaustion. His hazy and tired mind whirled in circles trying to figure out a way to fix this, to make Jimin smile again.

“Jimin, I’m really sorry for treating you like this, and for spewing all that bullshit at you earlier. You didn’t deserve it, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. You’re right, I’ve been really really stressed lately and nothing I produce is good enough anymore and I’ve been overworking myself to compensate for that, and I’m sorry for taking all that stress and frustration out on you. It wasn’t fair to you.” Yoongi slumped further into his chair admitting all the shit things he had done in the past couple of weeks. “I...I really appreciate you trying to look after me even though that’s supposed to be my job since I’m the hyung here...Jimin, hyung is really stupid sometimes and I need someone like you to keep me from exhausting myself and hurting myself and…

“I’m so glad that the person I love is you, not anyone else, because I doubt there’s anyone else with a heart as big and caring as yours that would be willing to put up with me.”

An acute silence hung in the air after Yoongi’s sudden confession.

Jimin had been crying literally only minutes before but at Yoongi’s words his face turned a bright cherry red and his insides felt all warm and tangled and happy and Jimin didn’t know what to think because he was so confused...One minute Yoongi calls him annoying and bitchy and the next Yoongi says he loves him?

“Y-you...love me?” Jimin stuttered stupidly, his breathing uneven.

“Yes, of course I love you, idiot,” Yoongi said with absolute conviction.

“...I love you too, hyung.”

It was another Friday night and Yoongi was back at the club, ready to perform his newest tracks later. He still had one more performance to sit through before it would be his turn, Boy Scout’s Jimin’s dance performance.

Yoongi watched observantly as Jimin walked onstage, confidence radiating from him as he adjusted his face mask and sunglasses. He took his starting position quickly, and a few seconds later the music began. It was a strange electro-hip hop fusion track, but Yoongi thought it fit the dancer’s routine well.

Jimin’s performance was excellent.Yoongi had never seen anyone move that smoothly and gracefully before, almost like he was made of water. As Jimin jumped and twirled, it wasn’t long before the entire audience was absolutely enchanted by his performance. Every landing, every small footstep, and even every flex of his muscles was absolutely flawless, and Yoongi would never admit this to anyone, but some of the dancer’s aggressive hip thrusts and body rolls made him blush slightly. Jimin of Boy Scouts was a performer for sure, and a sexy one at that.

Yoongi didn’t realize how absorbed he was in watching until Namjoon had to tap his shoulder over five times to get his attention.

“Ready to slay those Boy Scout schoolboys after this?” Namjoon smirked.

“You know it,” Yoongi said back, a slight grin playing at his lips. “I can’t wait to see their reaction to the new diss track we made.”

Suddenly, a gasp rolled through the crowd. Yoongi turned in time to see the dancer pull his mask down, exposing his plump pink lips. There was something familiar about those lips, Yoongi thought uneasily. More gasps were let out as Jimin pulled his sunglasses off, throwing them into the crowd...directly at Yoongi. He barely had time to register what was happening before his hands reflexively caught the glasses.

Yoongi looked at the them  for a split second longer before turning his gaze back to the stage, where Jimin was finishing up his routine. As they made eye contact, Jimin winked at him  and then Yoongi felt sick, so very sick to his stomach. Because this wasn’t the dancer from the Boy Scouts crew winking  and throwing his sunglasses at him, this was his Jimin up there performing and making eye contact with him. His Jimin, his cute and cuddly and absolutely adorable Jimin, was the one hip thrusting and sweating profusely on stage.

Yoongi felt so stupid. Why hadn’t he made the connection before? Jimin had been a regular attendee of the club, why had Yoongi assumed he was only a spectator, not a performer as well? Jimin danced in his free time and was a passionate fan of...his own crew? Jimin’s best friends were also dancers and rappers, and for Christ’s sake, one of them was named Jungkook! Jimin was a common name; Jungkook wasn’t. Why hadn’t Yoongi seen it before?

“Bulletproof Crew get ready!” Seokjin announced, breaking Yoongi out of his panicked thoughts.

Oh shit...the diss track, Yoongi thought as he weaved through the crowd to get to the stage, Jimin will feel so hurt… Yoongi grabbed his facemask and sunglasses and put them on forcefully.

But I can’t let Namjoon and Hoseok down. They’re counting on me.

That was Yoongi’s last thought before the lights dimmed again and suddenly he had to perform his solo track. He found that he could barely pay attention to his performance because his thoughts were too consumed by worries about Jimin’s reaction to his lyrics.

The stage went pitch black and then the regular lights came up again leaving Jimin standing center stage, panting hard. He’d never worked so hard at a performance before, but then again, it had never mattered so much before.

He was still looking straight at Yoongi and he wondered absently why his boyfriend wasn’t smiling but it didn’t worry him too much. He knew that Yoongi had a tendency to get very introspective. He caught the older boy’s eye and winked.

“Bulletproof Crew get ready!” Seokjin’s voice echoed through the crowd who began screaming in excitement. Jimin, moving towards the edge of the stage to hop down, kept his eyes on Yoongi to clock his reaction. Would his boyfriend react in excitement as well even now that he knew who Jimin was?

To Jimin’s confusion, Yoongi simply turned and began moving through the crowd, but he wasn’t going the right way. He was moving away from Jimin and towards the left side of the room.

“Wait...Hyung…” Jimin called out but the blond of Yoongi’s hair had vanished in the crowd.

“Who were you looking for?” Taehyung’s face was suddenly way too close to Jimin’s, eyes wide and curious. He loved his friend but he had no concept of personal space.

“Uh, no one.”

“We should stand in the first row for this since we know they’re going to roast us.” Jungkook said somewhat grimly, pulling at Jimin so he stumbled down the last couple steps and tugging him through the crowd until they were standing right underneath the lip of the stage.

“Aguuuust D!” Seokjin shouted, trying for a smooth announcer voice and almost succeeding.

The now familiar lithe figure of the most savage rapper in the underground circuit appeared on the left side of the stage and he sauntered out with a dismissive sort of wave to the audience. Jungkook snorted beside Jimin.

“Who does he think he is? Jay Z?”

Jimin couldn’t help but smile at this. He had to admit that Agust D had swag, but he tended to be a little overconfident in Jimin’s opinion. He glanced over at Taehyung and his smile widened at the slack jawed admiration he saw in his friend’s face. One day they were going to meet the Bulletproof Crew in person and Taehyung was going to totally betray them by asking for an autograph or something.

Jimin found himself craning his neck to search for Yoongi once more. He had thought this would be the perfect opportunity to introduce him to his friends but his boyfriend was nowhere to be found. Then the slow beat of the song started and Agust D rapped the opening lines and Jimin suddenly felt cold all over.

“Yo yo, ok, it hasn’t been that many years since I started saying I’d do music…”

Jimin felt as though he were underwater. He was no longer in the crowded club but rather sitting in Yoongi’s darkened bedroom, resting his chin on his boyfriend’s shoulder and reading the lyrics we was writing out loud.

“I tried to do well making music…” Jimin had whispered.

“...in Daegu, being the principal of a music academy or something, those kinds of thoughts hit me.” Agust D finished the line onstage. Jimin thought he might be sick. “Rap it for me!” He’d begged but Yoongi had grinned and said that he would hear it later. Now Jimin understood what he had meant.

Agust D, was none other than the stage name of his boyfriend. Jimin felt suddenly so stupid. “My friends and I are rappers.” Had been one of the first things Yoongi had said to him. His friends who he wrote all his music with, must have been the Bulletproof Crew and Jimin had just exposed himself as the dancer of the Boy Scouts.

He felt panic rising in his throat. What did Yoongi think? What had that look on his face been, staring up at Jimin onstage?

“See me after one year asshole, see what I’m doing…” Agust D, no, Yoongi was rapping and Jimin knew that was one of the last lines of the song. He wondered if it would be possible to somehow get to Yoongi and talk to him, but then the track was ending and Seokjin was announcing Rap Monster and J-Hope’s names and they were joining Yoongi on stage.

Jimin figured this was going to be another one of Bulletproof Crew’s cyphers, all three of them were usually never on stage together like this unless they were doing a cypher. Jimin felt his blood go a little cold, because cyphers were always, always diss tracks, and the Boy Scouts were most definitely their target for the night.

It was a loud, catchy beat that had people bobbing their heads to it immediately.  Rap Monster started off, saying something about how V was a trash rapper, that Jungkook had to work twice as hard to cover him, but even all the talent in the world could never make any song with V in it sound good, the usual. Jimin knew that Taehyung and Jungkook had grown thicker skin after the first couple diss tracks. They were rappers, after all.

The chorus was obnoxiously loud and catchy, as per usual. Jimin easily memorized the melody after the first listen, and he had to admit that the song was good, really good. He knew Yoongi was a talented producer, but he hadn’t expected Yoongi to be Bulletproof Crew’s producer. Despite himself, Jimin couldn’t help but feel proud of his boyfriend’s work, even though they were all insulting his friends.

J-Hope’s verse was slightly less memorable, just kind of a repetition of all the insults laid out by Rap Monster previously. But Jimin knew that J-Hope was primarily a dancer, not a rapper, so his expectations for J-Hope were already slightly lower.

The chorus repeated itself but was somehow louder than the first time. If Jimin didn’t hear the lyrics clearly the first time, well now he was sure he would never forget that “Boy Scouts suck” and all the other slews of insults thrown into the chorus.

Jimin waited anxiously as Agust D, Yoongi, lifted his mic to his lips slowly, pulling down his face mask slightly to increase the audio quality. Jimin decided he liked Yoongi’s rapping voice the best. It was husky, as if Yoongi had just rolled out of bed, but still held so much intensity. His flow and pacing was incredible, lyrics leaving his mouth so quickly Jimin wondered if his boyfriend would ever run out of breath.

But then Jimin started listening more intently to Yoongi’s rap lyrics.

It wasn’t like Rap Monster or J-Hope’s verse. Instead of dissing Jungkook and V again, Yoongi was targeting...him? Jimin very clearly heard Yoongi say something about a dancer who acted like they thought they were a graceful swan, but looked like nothing more than a flailing duck. More harsh words about Jimin’s short stature, his tendency to dance more like a stripper than a hip hop artist, his poor taste in dance music, was thrown his way.

And all those things hurt Jimin. He wasn’t like Jungkook or Taehyung, he wasn’t used to being talked about or insulted like this, in front of such a large audience. And the words hurt Jimin even more because they were coming from Yoongi’s mouth.

But it wasn’t until Yoongi rapped a line about how Jimin’s chubby cheeks, clearly visible despite the oversized sunglasses and facemask, made him look more pig than human, and how it was pathetic that the Boy Scouts were forced to settle for an overweight dancer as their last member, that something in Jimin snapped.

He pushed his way through the crowd, not even bothering to mutter apologies for the people he was shoving, to get to the exit as quickly as possible. He could hear a low mutter from the people he was passing and a couple Boy Scouts fans even booed. It was farther than any of the cyphers had taken anything before and the mood in the club was...different.

He realized that revealing himself on stage meant that everyone knew that he was storming away in a huff, that he couldn’t take a few insults, but it was more than that to him. He wondered if people would still hiss “pussy” as he passed if they knew that he was hearing the worst words from the mouth of the boy he loved. The part he couldn’t get over was that Yoongi had known. He had known that Jimin was the dancer of the Boy Scouts when he’d been saying those words.

His throat was tight but he couldn’t allow himself to cry in front of all the people in the club so he released his anger by throwing all his weight into the door so that it smacked against the wall with the dull clang of metal on concrete.

Jimin found himself breathing in deeply and painfully as he paced the area just outside the club’s entrance, desperately holding back tears as he waited for Jungkook and Taehyung to join him, although as the minutes ticked by it seemed as if they wouldn’t.

He pulled his phone out to text them that he would take a cab home but as he slid into the backseat he saw that his display was already full of missed texts and calls from the one person he didn’t want to see, so instead he shoved his phone back into his pocket and leaned his head back against the seat, feeling a few tears finally slip free. Let them worry.

It had been three days since the incident at the club. Jimin didn’t think he’d gone that long without texting or calling Yoongi since they’d first met and yet he almost didn’t care. Almost.

“Ok you’re going to have to come out of your room eventually.” Taehyung called from outside in the hallway in Jimin’s house and he suppressed a deep sigh. His friends hadn’t cared when he’d left the club in tears but now they were in his house. Now that they probably needed him to practice. His parents had probably let them in. Traitors.

“Make me!” He called out, pouting. He could feel fresh tears welling up in his eyes and he dashed them away impatiently. He was such a child. It was all obvious to him now that Yoongi had never really cared about him that much. How could he and still say those things?

“Fine!” Jungkook yelled back. There was a loud bang in the hallway and then a series of smaller ones and then Jimin thought he heard Taehyung yelp at Jungkook that he couldn’t pay for the door if he broke it. Jimin got up off his bed angrily and wrenched the door open to see Jungkook and Taehyung, hopelessly entangled on the floor of his hallway.

“Don’t break my house.” He growled.

“Aww Jiminie.” Taehyung scrambled up and patted Jimin on the cheek fondly.

“Have you been crying?” Jungkook asked awkwardly as he pushed past them and threw himself onto Jimin’s bed. “And more importantly, do you have another controller?”

“You broke it last time.” Jimin reminded his younger friend as he settled himself into his beanbag chair. As much as he hated to admit it, for all the fuss he’d put up he didn’t really want to be alone. Of course the company he wanted wasn’t the two dorks that made up the rest of his crew. But they would do.

“Ok so I was thinking that maybe you should try your hand at writing some lyrics Minnie!” Taehyung said excitedly, pacing up and down Jimin’s bedroom. “I mean who’s to say you couldn’t? Have you ever tried?”

“I’m not a rapper Tae.” Jimin snapped, feeling bad when the other boy deflated. He hated feeling this way and he hated how irritable and unlike himself it made him. His friend had just been trying to cheer him up and he’d practically bitten his head off.

Jimin’s phone began buzzing on the bedside table and Jungkook picked it up, glancing at the display. “Yoongi hyung? Who’s that?”

“Give me that!”           

“You’re not going to answer it?” Taehyung asked in surprise. Jimin didn’t bother replying. He was scrolling through the new messages that had arrived. He should really turn of his phone but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

It wasn’t like they were Romeo and Juliet. He tried to convince himself that he wouldn’t have cared if Yoongi had told him he was Agust D if it hadn’t been for that diss track...

“...just stopped. It was kind of weird come to think of it.”

“Huh?” Jimin realized that his friends had carried on talking while he’d been lost in his thoughts. “What did you say?”

“Oh I can’t believe I forgot to tell you this.” Taehyung said.

“Idiot.” Jungkook flicked the back of his head.

“Ow!” Taehyung rubbed the spot resentfully. “Anyways Jimin it was totally weird but after you left, the minute the door shut behind you, Agust D stopped mid-sentence. It was totally awkward. If I didn’t know better I’d say he felt bad.”

“Psh. That guy doesn’t have feelings at all. He probably just messed up for once and...hey where are you going?”

Jimin didn’t pay any attention to his friends’ startled exclamations behind him. All this time he’d been sitting in his room sulking and refusing to read Yoongi’s texts but that wasn’t the right approach at all. If Yoongi had stopped after he left that meant he did care but if he’d said those things at all then Bulletproof Crew was still more important to him.

Jimin hadn’t forgiven Yoongi, not even close, but nothing could be solved through radio silence. He called out a quick farewell to his surprised parents and then left the house.

The apartment was dark when Jimin arrived and he worried for a moment that Yoongi wasn’t home, but when he let himself in he heard the telltale sounds that meant Yoongi was working on something in his room.

“Hyung?” He called out softly. Now that he was there the whole plan of storming in and demanding an apology seemed totally beyond him. Who was he kidding? He would start crying the second he saw Yoongi.

Jimin started to turn to go but then the hall light came on and Yoongi was standing there looking shellshocked. “Jimin? Baby? Is that you?” Then he was moving towards Jimin and pulling him into his arms and it was all Jimin could do to stay stiff and not melt into his boyfriend’s embrace because something in him had broken the second he heard the pet name.

Yoongi pulled back quickly sensing Jimin’s reticence.

“Sorry, sorry.” He said thickly and Jimin was shocked to see that he was crying. He had never seen Yoongi cry before.

“I’m not here because I forgive you.” Jimin said in a voice steadier than he’d thought possible. “I’m here because I needed to know why-” Finally his voice broke and he paused. “I wanted to give you a chance to explain before I-” Again he couldn’t finish his sentence but the look in Yoongi’s eyes said he knew what Jimin had been about to say. Before I end things with you.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Yoongi said flatly. It hadn’t been the answer Jimin had been hoping for and he squashed his disappointment as it threatened to bring fresh tears to his eyes. He didn’t know why he’d allowed himself to think that there was a reasonable explanation behind the hurt he’d suffered. There wasn’t. You didn’t just humiliate the person you loved in front of hundreds of people.

I want you to say you love me. I want you to tell me that I’m beautiful. I want you to apologize. All were things that Jimin could have said but he didn’t.

“I shouldn’t have come here.” He said instead, resenting how small his voice sounded.

“Wait!” Yoongi called out and Jimin turned back. “I have something to show you.”

So Jimin followed Yoongi down the short hallway to his bedroom berating himself for being such a pushover, for missing Yoongi so much that he couldn’t even storm out properly.

“I wrote it a couple days ago.” Yoongi muttered, picking up a piece of paper from his desk and handing it to Jimin. “I know it doesn’t fix anything but I just thought you should know.”

Jimin looked down at the paper filled with Yoongi’s familiar, messy scrawl and felt his eyes widen because the letters at the top read “to my Jimin” and the lyrics...the lyrics were about him and he couldn’t believe what he was reading.

“I always wanted to write a song for you and I will never forgive myself for what the first one ended up being, but I hope this can sort of begin to make up for it.”

“Hyung I don’t know what to say. I-” And Jimin could have cursed himself because he was crying again but this time it was because he was holding lyrics that said how much Yoongi loved him and how much he thought he was beautiful and how sorry he was. All the things Jimin had wished for in his head the past three days.

“Shit Jimin it wasn’t supposed to make you cry it was supposed to...I don’t know…” Yoongi was standing awkwardly a few feet from Jimin looking like a lost puppy with his hair hanging in his eyes which were all wide and nervous. He had his lower lip in between his teeth.

“Just shut up hyung.” Jimin sobbed and then he was crossing the room and grabbing Yoongi’s face between his hands and then their lips came together and Jimin couldn’t help sighing slightly because he had missed it so much. Yoongi grabbed fistfuls of the back of Jimin’s sweater and nipped at his bottom lip and then they were stumbling backwards towards the bed and giggling because it was dark and there were clothes on the floor and Jimin couldn’t help but feel a small grain of satisfaction that Yoongi’s entire apartment seemed to have been caught in a hurricane in the three days that Jimin hadn’t been there.

“Did you miss me?” Jimin asked breathlessly between kisses as Yoongi helped him to pull his sweater over his head.

“Are you kidding? I left so many pathetic voicemails, how could you even ask me that?”

Jimin had his shirt halfway off as well when they heard noises from what sounded like the hallway outside and froze.

“...know he’s in here. HEY YOONGI!” Jimin thought he recognized Rap Monster’s voice and he looked down, meeting Yoongi’s panic filled eyes.

“What do we do?” He hissed.

“Up, up, get up.” Yoongi pulled at Jimin and tugged him over to the closet, pushing him inside. “Just for a minute.” He said in a frantic tone. And then the door was shut leaving Jimin, half dressed and shivering in Yoongi’s closet. He didn’t think he had ever felt so low.

Yoongi wasn’t sure what made him do it. Why had he forced Jimin to go hide in his closet as soon as he heard Namjoon and Hoseok’s voices? Hadn’t they both really wanted to meet Jimin anyways? They was a pretty big possibility they wouldn’t have even figured out that Jimin was the Jimin of the Boy Scouts crew. Why was he so insistent on his friends not finding Jimin?

Because a part of him knew what he was doing was wrong. Yoongi thought about what Namjoon and Hoseok’s reactions to him dating and hooking up with a Boy Scouts member would be...and they weren’t good. He could imagine the looks of total betrayal on their faces, the disgust that he had so callously disregarded the strict rivalry they had with the Boy Scouts, the disappointment at his lack of self-control…

Yoongi didn’t want to see those things. Not now, not ever. He stared at the closet door Jimin was standing behind longingly, only half-listening to whatever Namjoon and Hoseok were blabbering about. He sighed, he was going to have to figure this mess out by himself.

“Yoongi...were you even listening to what I was saying?” Namjoon’s voice broke through his troubled thoughts.

“Sorry, Nams, I was a bit distracted…” Yoongi paused, grappling for the perfect excuse to kick both of them out, “didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Oh, do you need to catch up on sleep then?” Hoseok asked concernedly. God, his friends were always so understanding and so good to him, he couldn’t lose them. He wouldn’t.

“Yeah, do you guys mind? I’m gonna go try to take a nap right now, actually,” Yoongi replied, his tone too flat to be pleasant.

“Sure thing, man,” Namjoon said, eyebrows creasing slightly. “We’ll get going then, wouldn’t want to bother you while you rest up, right?” He laughed stiffly, still frowning at Yoongi’s sullen form on the bed.

Yoongi exhaled in relief when he finally heard the front door close. He crossed over to the closet and opened it, Jimin’s terrified eyes peering at him for a moment before he shuffled out of the closet awkwardly. Jimin stared at the ground as if he wished it would just swallow him whole. Yoongi couldn’t blame him.

Jimin broke the uncomfortable silence. “So where does this leave us?”

Yoongi shut his eyes tightly, already seeing the hurt and broken look that would appear on Jimin’s face as soon as he said the words he had carefully pieced together only moments before. “We can’t do this, Jimin...We can’t be together, not in the way we were before.”

Yoongi rubbed his temples before opening his eyes. Jimin’s eyes were already teary, his plush lips pressed together. Yoongi looked away quickly, unable to bear the sight of the pain he had inflicted on Jimin. “I’m sorry, Jimin, I’m so so sorry.” He took a shaky breath. “Imagine what our crews would think of us, Jimin. Imagine how betrayed and disappointed they would be. Imagine how disappointed they would be by our selfishness…Our fans, what would they think? We’ve built a lot of our career on the rivalry and the diss tracks, Jimin. And those diss tracks aren’t going to stop coming out...even if we continue to be together, Jimin. I don’t want to have to deal with your sadness and frustration with me every time Namjoon, Hoseok, and I drop a cypher dissing your friends-”

“Oh, so you don’t want to ‘deal’ with me anymore? Is that what this is, Yoongi?” Jimin interrupted, his lips quivering from the effort he was putting into holding tears back. “It’s bullshit, Yoongi. What you’re saying is complete and utter bullshit. If you really loved me or if you really wanted to be with me, you would stay.” Jimin’s voice cracked on the last word. “Do you love me, Yoongi? Do you?”

Yoongi didn’t answer, solidly gazing at the ground to avoid seeing Jimin break down. He knew this was going to happen, and yet it still killed him to see it.

The aching in Yoongi’s chest made it hard to breathe, so he took a few deep breaths before saying, “Jimin, I don’t want to be a disappointment to my crew or my fans. Do you understand that? They’re all I have, Jimin! I can’t betray them, I refuse to betray them!”

Jimin was sobbing into his hands, so his voice was muffled and hard to understand because of the sniffling. “Do...you...love...me...Min...Yoon...Gi?” Each syllable seemed harder and harder for Jimin to say, and Yoongi’s heart cracked a little.

“Jimin...that’s not the point. It doesn’t matter.” Yoongi’s eyes were tearing up, the shreds of his broken heart aching with each second he watched Jimin sob in front of him. Dammit, he hadn’t cried since his grandmother had died when he was nine years old, for Christ’s sake! Why was this break up taking such a toll on him?

His heart already knew the answer, though. It was because he had never fallen as hard for anyone as he had for Park Jimin, he had never loved anyone like he had loved Jimin. Jimin was the only person he cared about more than himself, the only one he would sacrifice anything for...but he was fate’s fool, the one person he loved more than music was the one person he could never be with.

“What do you mean ‘it doesn’t matter?’” Jimin yelled at him. “It fucking matters to me!”

Yoongi felt two teardrops leak from the corners of his eyes. “Jimin, please…”

“Answer me, Yoongi! Just answer this one question, please please please Yoongi,” Jimin begged, an ugly shade of desperation coloring his tone. “I need to know, Yoongi, please…” he sobbed brokenly.

“Yes, Jimin. I loved you more than anything.” Yoongi finally said, his brain barely registering the heartbreak and devastation in his own voice.

“Loved? Or love? There’s a difference, Yoongi,” Jimin said frantically.

“I love you, Park Jimin,” Yoongi’s voice cracked as more tears flowed down his cheeks. “But it doesn’t matter now, not when this love makes me feel sick, like I’m willing to lose everything just to be by your side everyday!” He suddenly screamed, the violent outburst echoing in the small bedroom. “Jimin, I can’t do this anymore, okay? What if this love feeling doesn’t last? I sacrifice everything I have, my friends, my music career, my only passion in life, to be with you, and then I realize you’re not the one?! I can’t risk that, Jimin! I won’t risk it!”

Jimin sobbed harder as Yoongi shouted the last sentence at him. “How are you so sure I’m not the one, Yoongi? You aren’t even willing to try to find out? Because you love me, but you don’t love me enough to keep trying?!”

“Jimin, don’t twist my words-” Jimin cut Yoongi off immediately.

“Shut up, Yoongi! How could you say those things to me? That being with me is a curse somehow, that you’ll lose everything you worked so hard for just because you love me, that I’m going to ruin you? You fucking asshole! I never asked you to sacrifice jack shit for me, unlike you, I’m not that fucking selfish!”

“Don’t you dare call me selfish right now, Jimin. I’m doing what’s best for both of us, and you know it!”

“If it’s what’s best, then why the fuck does it hurt so much?”

It was silent for a few moments before Yoongi answered.

“Because our relationship was a mistake from the beginning.”

Jimin’s anguished cries filled the cold air immediately. “We were a mistake, Yoongi? That’s how you think of us?” He buried his face into his hands, muffling the heartbroken sobs that were undoubtedly falling from his lips.

“If that’s what you really think, then I guess I’ll just leave right now, you won’t have to worry about seeing your mistake around any longer.” Jimin was harshly wiping the tears off of his cheeks and gathering his things, storming out the bedroom and eventually slamming the front door after him, the sound echoing in the empty air for several seconds.

Jimin was gone and he seemed to have taken all of the warmth in the room with him. It had been so long since Yoongi had really broken down and cried that he didn’t seem to know how to do it without fighting against himself the whole way.

He struggled to take a breath and finally slammed his fist into the wall in frustration, over and over until he was cradling his bruised and bleeding hand to his chest, tears finally coming freely. He didn’t remember it hurting so much, his chest felt as though it was on fire.

Jimin was gone and Yoongi was left alone; sobbing on the floor of his bedroom.

Jimin didn’t quite remember when he started wandering around the city at night. Lately things were all mixed up and he had trouble finding pleasure in the things he used to enjoy doing. He was somewhere near the club, just walking when Jungkook called him.

For one heart stopping moment he thought it was Yoongi but then he remembered that Yoongi didn’t call him anymore. Gone were the days when they would stay up all night talking about anything and everything. Occasionally Yoongi would send him a text when he wanted to hook up and Jimin would end up going, hating himself. He hated himself even more when it was him that texted first but they had both agreed it was better that way. No strings attached.

Jimin wondered if it was just him who kept going back hoping that something would change, that some of the affection he remembered would come back into Yoongi’s face, that he could convince his ex-boyfriend that he was worth the risk. So far it didn’t seem to be working and Jimin knew that the longer they kept doing it the more hurt he was going to feel and yet he couldn’t seem to stop.

Jimin pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the display. It was Jungkook. He almost didn’t pick up but the lateness of the hour had him worried. He knew that his younger friend often didn’t go home, preferring to go out and party with a rougher crowd. His height made him look older than he really was despite his baby face and Jimin worried for him even though he knew that nothing he could say would get through to Jungkook.

“Hey Kookie, what's up?” He answered, knowing that Jungkook hated the affectionate nickname, finding it babyish.

“Can’t...get...come...get me.” Jimin frowned, wondering if his friend was drunk; he seemed to be slurring his words but he couldn’t quite tell because of the amount of background noise wherever he was.

“What? Are you in trouble?” The voices on his friend’s end of the phone sounded loud and angry. Jimin could feel worry beginning to twist his stomach.

“Hyung. Need you. Come get me.” Jungkook was still having a great amount of difficulty speaking but Jimin felt cold all over as he realized that his friend wasn’t drunk. There was something else wrong.

“Where are you?” He asked urgently, already raising his hand for a cab and he slid inside, repeating the address to the driver as best as he could decipher from Jungkook’s mumbling.

Jimin kept the call going, talking about nothing, just to keep hearing a response from Jungkook. He knew that there was something seriously not right about the way Jungkook seemed to be speaking as though every word cost him immeasurable energy and he also knew that his young friend was hot headed and had a tendency to get into fights.

If some asshole hurts one hair on his head…

Jimin realized that his free hand was clenched so tightly that no blood was getting to his fingers and forcibly released it, wincing at the pain he felt as his hand came back to life.

“Where did you want me to let you off?” The cab driver asked, slowing down as they turned onto the street Jimin had named.

“Uh here is fine.” He said, shoving bills distractedly at the man and climbing out onto the sidewalk which was brightly lit with neon signs advertising different clubs.

What were you doing in this dive Jungkookie? He wanted to say but he knew that it wasn’t the right moment. “Are you still with me Kook?” He asked instead and heard an affirmative mumble. “I’m on the street now but I don’t see you. Where are you?”

“In the. Side. Orchid aquarium.” Jimin frowned. None of the words meant anything to him. Suddenly someone slammed into Jimin’s shoulder making him stumble. He turned angrily and met the gaze of one of them. He looked incredibly familiar but Jimin couldn’t quite place him…

“Hey watch it punk.” The guy spat and then he was gone with his friends the group of them laughing and talking in that too loud way that Jimin had noticed some guys got when they were wasted.

Jimin scanned the flashy signs and found two next to each other named “The Aquarium” and “Orchid” but Jungkook wasn’t anywhere to be found. Then he lowered his gaze and saw the dark mouth of an alley right in between them. His heart sank and he hung up the phone, hurrying towards the alley.

“Jungkook? Kookie?” He called out softly, blinking as he stepped out of the light and his eyes were forced to adjust. He heard a low groan in response and felt his stomach clench. He had been desperately hoping in the cab that it was some sort of prank or that Jungkook was just drunk or tired or any number of things but as he dropped to a crouch next to his friend he could see the sheen of blood in the dim light and he was suddenly very scared.

“Who did this to you?” He whispered, low and intense as he reached trembling fingers towards Jungkook’s bruised and battered face. It didn’t look too serious on first glance, just a split lip and a bruised cheekbone but the way Jungkook was sitting, slumped against the wall with his arm slung across his ribs and the way he had seemed unable to form a full sentence worried Jimin. He turned Jungkook’s head slightly to the side, and found that the entire left side of his head was matted with blood. They must have smashed his head into the wall.

“I said who did this to you!” Jimin half yelled, aware that his voice was breaking embarrassingly. Lately all he seemed to do was lose his cool. He missed the time before every day brought some new misfortune.

Jungkook’s eyes were half lidded and unfocused and Jimin slapped him across the face knowing that it was dangerous for his friend to go to sleep after a head trauma. He wished that anyone was there with him who could tell him what to do.

“Don’t fall asleep on me. Please.” Jimin didn’t think he’d ever been so terrified. Was Jungkook going to die? Don’t be an idiot Jimin. He told himself, and yet the words were in Yoongi’s voice in his head. He was an idiot, and idiot who couldn’t even keep his friends out of trouble.

Somehow Jimin managed to hoist Jungkook up and drag him out of the alley and into the street. The kid was heavier than he had expected but Jimin was stronger than he looked and a lot more desperate. Once they were standing in the light people started staring. One girl gasped and nearly tripped in her ridiculously high heels.

“Excuse me, is he ok?” She asked.

“Does he look ok!?” Jimin wanted to snap but instead he asked her politely if she could hail them a cab which she did.

Once inside Jimin gave the address of the nearest hospital and turned his attention to Jungkook who looked to be awake though he wasn’t really moving which was worrisome.

“I ran into a group of guys outside the club and one of them looked familiar.” Jimin said. “Do we know the assholes that did this to you?”

Jungkook shook his head floppily, wincing.

“Just. Guys from the club. Bulletproof.” Jimin felt his mouth drop open.

“Bulletproof Crew did this to you!?” He found it difficult to imagine Yoongi, Rap Monster, or J-Hope decking anyone but if Yoongi’s friends had heard about Jimin and gotten mad…

Jungkook was shaking his head again, the barest of movements.

“Not. Them. Fans. Crazy bastards. Didn’t even…just said their flow was. Shit.”

Jimin felt his pulse calm slightly. No wonder the guy who’d bodychecked him had looked familiar. They’d probably seen each other countless times at the club. From the sounds of things Jungkook had egged them on a bit, insulting Bulletproof Crew, and had earned himself a beating for it. Jimin didn’t understand what must have been going through their minds to assault a kid just for talking shit.

Thankfully there was nothing very wrong with Jungkook other than a few bruised ribs and a slight concussion, the doctor told Jimin, but they called his parents and then there was nothing left for Jimin to do. He felt utterly drained and useless and, despite the reassuring words of the attending MD, terrified.

Even just 2 weeks earlier in a situation such as this Jimin would have called Yoongi without thinking about it and within the hour he would have been safely ensconced in the warmth of Yoongi’s bed as the other boy stroked his hair back from his forehead.

Jimin pulled his phone out of his pocket and eyed it. Things had to change.

“Hello?” Yoongi’s voice on the other end sounded softer than usual and Jimin wondered if he’d woken him up.

“Hey, Yoongi? Can you meet me at the convenience store where we first met in like ten minutes?”

It was well past midnight and Yoongi was up late working again when Jimin called him. He was surprised to say the least, Jimin never really called him anymore, just texted him dates and times he wanted to “meet up,” and he was sure his uneasiness showed as he answered the call.

“Hello?” Yoongi’s voice quivered slightly. He hoped Jimin didn’t notice.

“Hey, Yoongi? Can you meet me at the convenience store where we first met in like ten minutes?” Jimin’s melodious voice answered. Yoongi was unsure what to think, usually Jimin just wanted to meet him in his apartment for some “private time.” Did he have a thing for the convenience store? And if so, would it tick the employees off?

“Uh...are you sure you want to meet in a public place?” Yoongi said after a long silence.

It took Jimin a moment to process what Yoongi meant. “Oh no...I’m not calling for that. I just want to meet up so we can...talk.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened for a moment. He hadn’t held a proper conversation with Jimin since they had started their new…”purely physical” relationship.

“Oh ok...I’ll be there in a few.” Yoongi’s mind wandered as he pulled on his jacket and headphones and began the three block walk to the convenience store. It was cold, and by the time he entered the store, his face felt completely numb. He rubbed his hands together to create some warmth, eyes searching for Jimin’s small and muscular form.

Jimin was standing in the ramen aisle. Of course.

Yoongi walked over to him hesitantly. “Jimin? I’m here.”

Jimin turned toward him, a glassy and faraway look in his eyes. “Hey, hyung.” It had felt like forever since Jimin had used the honorific on him, but it still created so much warmth in Yoongi’s chest. “Sorry for calling you and asking to meet up so late.”

“It’s fine,” Yoongi answered easily, “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

“Jungkook got beat up pretty bad today,” Jimin’s voice was soft, really soft, as if he was about to break any moment. “It was a few Bulletproof fans who attacked him.”

“Oh…” Yoongi mumbled, “uh, is Jungkook ok?”

“He was almost hospitalized.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Yoongi didn’t know how to respond except by apologizing.

The air felt thick and heavy with despair.

“No, Yoongi, you’re not sorry.” Jimin suddenly exploded. “These are your fucking fans going around and beating up my closest friends! What was it you said to me when we broke up? ‘You would be nothing without Bulletproof Crew and your fans?’ You practically worship them! You left me for their sake, so you wouldn’t ‘betray’ them!” Jimin’s voice was rushed and angry and so very, very venomous. “Goddammit, Yoongi, I wish you would just be fucking honest for once, instead of constantly feeding me so much bullshit!” Jimin was whisper-shouting, so as not to alarm the cashiers, and breathing heavily.

Yoongi froze, hurt already beginning to lace its way into his heart again. “Jimin, what do you want from me? I’ve told you already, we can’t be together like we were before. Look, I’m really sorry about what happened to Jungkook, but I can’t control the actions of my fans. I’ll tell them to back down, and you guys can file a police report and everything, but there’s nothing else I can really do.” His voice was barely a whisper, and Yoongi couldn’t bring himself to look Jimin in the eye, instead staring forlornly at the floor tiles. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Jimin.”

Jimin sighed heavily, running his hands over his face frustratedly. “I want to end things, Yoongi. No more ‘meeting up,’ no more hanging out, no more being around each other.”

A gunshot wound to the chest would’ve hurt less, Yoongi thought to himself sadly. “...ok, Jimin, whatever you want.”

“Good,” Jimin said, “good…” He was probably disappointed that Yoongi wasn’t fighting him on this at all, but Yoongi had known from the beginning that continuing to see each other after they had officially “broken up” was only going to end in more pain and suffering. “I guess that’s it then. See you arou‒I mean uh, bye, hyung.”

He turned on his heels and left Yoongi standing alone in the aisle, his head hanging low. Yoongi heard Jimin’s light footsteps, his voice quietly saying “good night” to the cashiers, the rattling of the door as it shut after him. But none of those things really registered in his brain.

Because he was back to square one; he had lost Jimin again, but he was still madly in love with him, with no way to fix it this time.

The crowd was overexcited on the first Friday night that Jimin had ventured into the club in just over a month. He didn’t really care. He had also just lost the dance off to J-Hope. He cared a little more about that but not nearly as much as his friends thought he should. He knew what people were saying about him; that he’d come back from a hiatus with something missing from his performance and he knew they were right.

“Honestly Hyung it’s fine. You were still a hundred times better than that asshole. He’s a show off, he’s got no soul.”

Jimin knew that it was him who’d had no soul in his performance but he gave Jungkook a weak smile nonetheless. His friend had never lied to him about his dancing in living memory so he supposed he must really look like shit to warrant the babying.

“No soul?” Some girl in front of them turned looking affronted. “I’m sorry but your friend dances like a dead fish.”

Jimin felt Jungkook tense up next to him and placed a hand on his arm in warning. It had been nearly four weeks since his younger friend had had his stitches out and Jimin didn’t want to take a risk if he insulted the girl and she turned out to have an angry boyfriend or three.

“Aw that’s kind of rude, you see these guys are actually my fans.” A voice said and then J-Hope himself was stepping through the crowd. Jimin couldn’t help but wonder why he wasn’t gloating over his victory with the rest of Bulletproof Crew.

“What kind of bull-” Jungkook began angrily but J-Hope cut him off, looking past him at where Taehyung was leaning against the bar.

“Isn’t that right?” J-Hope said with a sneer. “Or do you not want my autograph anymore?”

Jimin felt the bottom drop out of his stomach at the expressions on his friends’ faces. Taehyung looked like he’d been slapped in the face and with the look Jungkook was giving him...Jimin wouldn’t have wanted to be J-Hope at that moment.

“Hey, J-Hope. You already won. What do you want?” Jimin said suddenly, surprised to hear the words coming out of his own mouth. He had always been one to avoid conflict but he found that it was all suddenly too much.

Wasn’t it enough that he, Rap Monster and Yoongi had humiliated Jimin’s friends on stage night after night? Wasn’t enough that he’d beaten Jimin at the one thing he’d loved so much? Wasn’t it enough that even the name “Bulletproof Crew” was enough to bring a sour taste to Jimin’s mouth? Wasn’t it enough that he’d had his heart fucking broken by J-Hope’s best friend? And yet here J-Hope was in front of them, rubbing everything in their faces. Jimin found that he was actually angry, the first real emotion he’d felt in weeks.

“What do I want? I want to take a picture with my...number one fan.” J-Hope dropped his voice mockingly.

“Hey look, asshole!” Jungkook yelled. Jimin winced. They were beginning to draw a crowd. “Don’t act like your autograph is worth that much anyways! Bitch, you ain’t even famous!”

Jimin frowned in worry. The look on Jungkook’s face said that the worst was yet to come.

“I can see why you wear a face mask on stage, I would want to hide myself too if I had a face like that.” Jungkook spat but Jimin wasn’t listening because Yoongi was weaving through the crowd towards them and he wasn’t even capable of playing it cool and pretending that every sense wasn’t hyperaware of his presence.

Jimin snapped out of his daze when J-Hope shoved Taehyung. “Tae, don’t listen to him.” He muttered, trying to keep himself under control because for the first time in over a month Yoongi was standing in front of him and he wasn’t ready. He had come to the club knowing that there was a great possibility of being faced with his ex boyfriend but he hadn’t anticipated the sick feeling that he got as he realized that Yoongi wasn’t even looking at him.

Instead, he was studying Jungkook and Taehyung with an odd look on his face. Was that...disdain? Jimin didn’t know why he’d expected something different. The boy who’d listened with interest to his anecdotes about his friends and looked at his face as though it were something precious was gone. Maybe he had never really existed.

Yoongi was drinking a glass of whisky while scanning the crowd when he saw Hoseok talking with the Boy Scouts, seemingly caught in the middle of a heated argument. He sighed before putting his drink down and going after his friend. Why did Hoseok always start shit when it was so inconvenient?

“...asshole!” one of the Boy Scout members shouted at J-Hope. “Don’t act like your autograph is worth that much anyways! Bitch, you ain’t even famous!” The boy’s large, doe-like eyes looked Hoseok up and down with what looked like disgust. “I can see why you wear a face mask on stage, I would want to hide myself too if I had a face like that!”

Hoseok smirked back lazily. “Well, if I’m not that famous, why did your friend here-” he shoved a finger into the chest of the boy standing next to...was that Jimin? “-practically beg for my autograph? I guess the kid knows his place.” Hoseok let out a dry chuckle.

“Tae, don’t listen to him,” Yoongi heard Jimin’s gentle voice say. Yoongi was staring determinedly at the other members, Jungkook and V, from his spot behind Hoseok, avoiding contact with Jimin at all costs. He didn’t want to feel more incessant throbs of pain in his chest, as he did every time he thought about Jimin.

“Don’t touch him!” the one Yoongi knew to be Jungkook shouted. The younger boy shoved Hoseok back, staring at the hand Hoseok had prodded V‒or “Tae” as Jimin called him‒with. Yoongi felt a slight twinge of jealousy seeing his ex refer to a friend with a cute nickname.

Hoseok seemed unfazed by Jungkook’s outburst. “Careful, kid. This shirt is worth more than your shit rap career.”

Yoongi laughed at that. Hoseok really did have his moments. Jungkook and V suddenly turned to look in his direction, as if noticing his presence for the first time.

Yoongi took this as his cue to speak. “At least our crew has three functional rappers, not one half-decent rapper and a wannabe clown.”

“Did you hear us stutter or forget our lyrics during a performance? No? That’s right, because that was all you, wasn’t it, Agust Dickhead?” Jungkook fired back.

Yoongi heard Jimin sputter next to V, and he felt infuriated that his ex had the audacity to laugh as his friends humiliated him for stopping a performance to protect him. “Look, kid, your flow is decent, your lyrics are alright, but your performances are shit. Aren’t you a little too young to be playing with the big boys, anyways? You aren’t even legal yet, are you?” Yoongi sneered.

Jungkook glowered. “Overcompensating much? You’re so tiny I bet chicks think you’re fresh outta middle school or some shit. I wonder just how tiny you are...that’s why you put a ‘D’ in your stage name, right?”

V burst into hysterical laughter, but Hoseok just seemed done. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were narrowed, his signature “bitchface,” as Yoongi liked to think of it. Yoongi knew that whenever Hoseok had that facial expression, something was about to go down.

“I’m surprised you can still talk after our fans put you out of action for so long. You would think something like that would shut that fat ass mouth of yours up. You talk a lot of trash for someone whose body could’ve been lying in the trash a month ago don’t you think?”

Hoseok had done it, Yoongi thought, he had really done it this time. Jungkook reacted swiftly and violently, immediately decking Hoseok square in the jaw. Hoseok stumbled back a few steps, and then laughed before punching Jungkook back.

Yoongi watched as Jimin started holding Taehyung back from lunging at Hoseok while Jungkook and Hoseok rolled around on the dirty club floor, occasionally getting a punch or insult in as they wrestled. Yoongi sighed loudly, seeing a lot of other people at the club start to point and whisper and eventually, egg them on.

“Break it up! Break it up!” Yoongi heard a voice shout over the chaos. He looked up to see Seokjin swoop in, an angry look on his face. Another figure was following Seokjin closely...wait, was that Namjoon? What had they been they doing together before this?

Jin pulled Jungkook away while Namjoon dragged Hoseok away by his ankles. Unsurprisingly, Hoseok resisted the whole way, arms flailing wildly and hands scratching at the floor, as if he could somehow claw his way back to Jungkook, who wasn’t doing much better, screaming cuss words as he desperately tried to pry Jin’s arms off of him. Both were bruised up pretty badly, especially along their jaws, but at least there weren’t any black eyes or cuts.

Yoongi followed Jin and Namjoon out as they pulled their captives into an alley just outside of the club’s back door.

“Listen up, you fucking idiots! I’m only going to say this once, so y’all better memorize every goddamn word,” Yoongi had never heard Seokjin curse so much at one time, “First of all, thanks for disturbing my club! I really appreciate the heart attack I almost had! Second, you guys really need to get your shit together and resolve this mess of a rivalry you guys have. I’m taking y’all to my house, where we’re going to have a peaceful dinner together to discuss your issues with each other. I will personally have all your toenails removed if you damage any of my belongings, so don’t start shit, got it?” Jin sighed deeply, pinching his nose bridge and shutting his eyes tightly. “Namjoon-ah, call a cab. Let’s go, you ungrateful bitches, and y’all best be on your best behavior during the cab ride.”

Yoongi’s shoulders slumped. He was going to be stuck in a house with all the members of the Boy Scouts crew, which meant he would be around...Jimin.

Oh shit, Yoongi thought before getting in a cab with Hoseok and Namjoon.

The cab ride was decidedly less than peaceful but Jimin didn’t know how Seokjin could have expected the two crews with the fiercest rivalry in the underground circuit to suddenly decide that they didn’t hate each other. Especially when Jungkook and J-Hope bore the marks of each other’s displeasure on their faces.

Mercifully, aside from a few petty jabs both with words and with elbows, all 7 boys managed to make it to Seokjin’s apartment unharmed where they stood in a sulky line just inside the door.

“Alright so here’s how this is going to work.” Seokjin snarled, still not having lost his stern tone from earlier. “There is alcohol and snacks on the house. Your only job is to not kill each other and at the end of the evening I want you all to say at least one nice thing about a member of the opposite crew. Got it?”

“Why does this feel like homework?” Jungkook asked snappishly.

“Because it is.” Seokjin retorted. “Why does everyone forget that I’m the oldest hyung? I can give homework if I want to! Think of all the free booze I’ve given you lot over the years.” He whined. Namjoon placed a comforting hand on Seokjin’s shoulder and Jimin narrowed his eyes. He thought he had finally figured out the reason behind Seokjin’s betrayal and the small, petty part of himself that had been more present than not lately resented that other people could be happy when he couldn’t.

Yoongi hadn’t so much as met his gaze once all night and it was starting to grate on Jimin’s nerves. What was it about him that was so repulsive? He could still remember the last night in the convenience store and how relieved Yoongi had seemed when he’d said it was over.

Jimin and his friends had been to Seokjin’s apartment before but it was clear from the familiar way that the Bulletproof Crew moved around in the space, shedding jackets and opening the fridge, that they were equally at home there. It was a weird feeling, Jimin thought, and the expressions on his friends’ faces said they agreed.

“Alright everyone, uh, sit down. Jin is just getting spoons.” Namjoon said awkwardly. Seokjin could be heard rattling around in the kitchen and the tension in the room had skyrocketed since his exit but with a sigh, Jimin sat, as did everyone else. He honestly didn’t think they had the energy to fight anymore although he did hear Jungkook mutter something rude about where the “noodle” could stick his spoon.

Then Seokjin was returning from the kitchen with his arms full of alcohol and a big grin on his face. “Well this is fun! What kind of music do you guys want to listen to?”

“Kanye.” Said Hoseok at the same time as Taehyung said “Apink.”

There was an awkward silence.

“Uh how about some BTS?” Seokjin suggested. “I have all four wings albu-”

He was interrupted by a chorus of “no”’s.

“Hey, I have a question.” Yoongi said suddenly. They were the first words that he’d spoken since they’d left the club and Jimin hated how he immediately looked up upon hearing his ex boyfriend’s voice. Yoongi met his gaze for a moment before his eyes flicked away nervously.

“Yes?” Seokjin drawled. Jimin realized that the living room had been very quiet for a while.

“Uh.” Yoongi seemed distracted and Jimin felt his heart leap. Had he been thrown off by making eye contact with Jimin? And more importantly, what was he going to say?

“What kind of a stage name is V anyways?” Yoongi finally spat incredulously but Jimin knew that that hadn't been what he had meant to say.

“V for victory!” Taehyung holding his hand up in a peace symbol and scrunching his face up to look cute. Jimin wanted to cringe. If Bulletproof hadn’t thought they were kids before they certainly did now. He felt even worse when Yoongi smirked.

The expression hadn’t gone unnoticed by Jungkook, ever quick to anger. “You’re one to talk Agust Dic-” He began but he was cut off by Seokjin anxiously serving out alcohol, deftly getting past Jungkook’s grabbing hands.

It was sometime later that Jimin realized that he was the only one who was in a bad mood. There was music playing and both Seokjin and Namjoon were enthusiastically dancing, but even the sight of them flailing around drunkenly couldn’t lift Jimin’s spirits.

He sat on the couch with a large bowl of potato chips in his lap, glowering at where Yoongi, Hoseok and Jungkook were playing some kind of game that seemed to involve taking multiple shots and flicking each other repeatedly in the face. Jimin didn’t understand the appeal but as he watched, Yoongi broke into a smile.

Jimin shoved more potato chips into his mouth. He was all alone. Even Taehyung had abandoned him for Seokjin’s dog. The dog can’t even talk. How is it that even a dog is more interesting than me?

Jimin was dimly aware that he was drunk but it didn’t seem to matter much. “How dare he have fun...” He muttered under his breath.

“What’s that?” Seokjin asked, flopping down tiredly next to Jimin on the couch and reaching for the bowl.

“They’re mine. The potato chips love me.” Jimin whined, pulling them out of Seokjin’s reach. His friend raised his eyebrows.

Suddenly, with an exclamation of “Guys guys guys, watch this!” Jungkook was rising from the table, fairly steady on his feet all things considered as the peppy beat of “Up and Down” came on over the speakers.

Bulletproof crew was looking on with interest but Jimin sat up straight because he knew what was about to happen.

“Oh no...Jin hyung he’s going to…” Jimin’s eyes met Taehyung’s from across the room and they came to a silent agreement, both rising as one.

But they were too late. Jungkook slid one hand sensually up his thigh and then began enthusiastically doing the choreography. Jimin saw mouths drop open across the board. 

“C’mon Jiminie hyung!” Jungkook yelled and Jimin shook his head frantically at his friend but it was too late, Jungkook was dropping and putting his hands on hips and beginning to pelvic thrust aggressively. Jimin opened his mouth to apologize for his younger friend somehow having imbibed half a bottle of whisky but then shut it again with a snap when Hoseok leapt in and joined Jungkook.

Jimin sat back down sulkily, noting the way Yoongi was watching them dance and laughing. Then he was standing up and Jimin’s heart leapt up into his throat, but without looking at him, Yoongi reached down and snagged the last potato chip. Jimin felt something inside him break and he heard his own voice as though it was coming from far away.

“WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH? YOU NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME AND NOW YOU’VE STOLEN EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED! FUCK YOU, MIN YOONGI!”

Everyone looked over in stunned silence, Jungkook and Hoseok stopping mid dance but Jimin was too angry to care.

“WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH? YOU NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME AND NOW YOU’VE STOLEN EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED! FUCK YOU, MIN YOONGI!” Jimin screeched, the sound grating against Yoongi’s ears unpleasantly.

Everyone else at the table turned to stare at Jimin.

“Dude, it’s just a potato chip,” Jungkook slurred. He had somehow managed to sneak some more soju behind Seokjin’s back, and his gaze was beady and unfocused as he spoke to Jimin. “Why can’t we all just get alooooooong guys? Sunshine and rainbows and all that happy shit...that’s what I wanna be on.” He reached for another bottle of soju.

“Jungkook, you sound like a stoner. Stop,” Taehyung said, giggling immediately afterwards. To no one’s surprise, both Hoseok and Taehyung turned out to be happy drunks with too much energy on their hands.

All the extra talking just made Jimin even more furious, and Yoongi watched as his ex lover’s face got redder and redder, and it wasn’t from the countless shots of soju Jimin had consumed.

“CAN YOU GUYS JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE? I’M TRYING TO CHEW THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE RIGHT NOW!” Jimin paused before turning to face Yoongi, “WHY YOU ALWAYS BE TRYING TO KILL MY VIBE? I CAN’T EVEN HAVE THE LAST POTATO CHIP AROUND YOU, IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR WANTS, YOU ASSHOLE!”

Yoongi stared disbelievingly at Jimin. “Sorry, I guess. You could’ve told me you really wanted that last potato chip, you know.”

“DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING, YOONGI? YOU ALREADY KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW I WANTED THAT GODDAMN POTATO CHIP!” Jimin seethed.

“How am I supposed to know if you never fucking tell me anything?” Yoongi shot back, eyes narrowing at Jimin’s drunken words.

“YOU KNEW I WANTED THAT POTATO CHIP AND YOU STILL FUCKING TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

Seokjin and Namjoon looked up from their spots in the corner of the room, while Jungkook continued to keep watching Taehyung coo at Seokjin’s dog. Hoseok seemed to have disappeared, and if Yoongi was sober, he would have been more worried about a tipsy Hobi on the loose in Seokjin’s house.

“IT’S JUST A POTATO CHIP, JIMIN!” Yoongi shouted back.

“WELL THAT POTATO CHIP MEANT A LOT TO ME YOONGI. AND YOU TAKING IT AWAY LIKE THAT JUST SHOWS WHAT AN EMOTIONLESS ASS YOU ARE. YOU DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT HOW I WOULD FEEL!”

“JIMIN, DIDN’T YOU EVER THINK THAT ME TAKING THAT POTATO CHIP AWAY FROM YOU WAS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD?”

“I’LL DECIDE WHAT’S GOOD FOR ME, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, ASSHOLE. WHAT IF I WANTED TO KEEP HAVING THOSE POTATO CHIPS? DON’T YOU THINK IT WAS UNFAIR OF YOU TO JUST TAKE IT AWAY LIKE THAT WITHOUT EVEN ASKING? YOU SELFISH BASTARD!”

“THE POTATO CHIPS WERE GOING TO HURT YOU EVENTUALLY JIMIN, I WAS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT!”

Seokjin suddenly swooped in, pushing Yoongi and Jimin back into their seats on the couch. “Okay, okay guys that’s enough. No need to fight, I’ll just go get another bag of potato chips in a little bit, but why don’t we go ahead and say some nice things about each other? Namjoon, you want to go first?”

“Uh...ok,” Namjoon mumbled, still looking back and forth between Yoongi and Jimin confusedly, “Jungkook’s rapping is pretty good, and he has a pretty chill personality…?”

Seokjin clapped happily like a seal. “Good, good. Thank you, Namjoon. Now, Jungkook, got anything to say to Namjoon or the other Bulletproof hyungs?”

“OH MY GAWD GUYS,” Jungkook yelled, and Seokjin stared at him weirdly for a moment, “I’ve been such a fan of the Bulletproof crew from, like, Day fucking One, like, oh my gawd, I love them so much and they like inspired me to be a rapper and shit and, like, I talk a lot of shit about them sometimes but, like...I LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH OH MY FUCKING GAWD!” Yoongi winced a little at the end when Jungkook let out a high pitched noise in between a fangirl squeal and a shriek from someone being violently murdered.

Yoongi hadn’t noticed that Hoseok had returned from...whatever it was he was doing before. “What the fuck guys, Jungkook turns into a basic white girl when he’s drunk? Oh my god, I have to get this on video!”

He started to pull his phone out to record Jungkook, but Seokjin slapped the phone out of his hand as he was about to press record. Hoseok pouted before shrugging and sitting down next to Yoongi.

“Since you finally decided to rejoin us, Hoseok, why don’t you go next? Say something nice about Taehyung.” Seokjin said calmly with an angelic smile, as if he hadn’t just bitchslapped a phone out of Hoseok’s hands just seconds before.

Hoseok leaned over to Taehyung to whisper in his ear. Yoongi caught bits and pieces of it, but most of the conversation was unintelligible. “Does that count as our homework?” More muttering and giggles were heard. “Can we just do that, though?” Yoongi watched as Hoseok suddenly pulled back to stare at Taehyung with what looked like...adoration? What the fuck had happened while he and Jimin were arguing?

“Okay, guys, I got it. Listen the fuck up, y’all!” Hoseok announced dramatically, banging his palms on the table. “I think Taehyung has a very fine…” he tapped his chin in thought, “face, yeah let’s go with face. And he’s really good with…” Another pause. “His hands, yeah, his hands are so nice and gentle and pretty just like him in general.” Hoseok giggled almost psychotically. “They’re also really soft guys, you should feel them sometime!”

Seokjin was dumbstruck. “Uh, ok then. Tae, you got anything?”

“Hyung is really fun to be around,” Taehyung giggled drunkenly, “he’s really really flexible too it’s so cool, guys. Like I knew when I saw him dancing on stage at the club that he was probs really flexible, but like, the man could be a goddamn gymnast!”

Seokjin facepalmed, while everyone else stared uncomfortably at the floor. “Whatever, whatever...why the fuck do I even hang around you people…” Seokjin muttered to himself before raising his voice, “Okay, Jimin, your turn to say something nice about Yoongi.”

Jimin huffed childishly. “There’s nothing nice about Yoongi hyung!”

“Jimin…” Seokjin warned.

“Okay fine, hyung is really talented and dedicated to his music,” Jimin pouted.

“Alright, Jimin. See, that wasn’t so hard was it? Yoon‒”

Jimin cut Seokjin off. “But he’s so dedicated to his music that he can’t even try to maintain any other kinds of relationships because he’s an asshole who steals other people’s potato chips!”

“What the fuck, Jimin, I swear to God, I’ll get you another bag of potato chips‒”

Yoongi cut Seokjin off this time. “Shut the fuck up, Jimin. You would’ve done the same if you were in my position! Stop being so selfish all the time.”

“OH, NOW I’M THE SELFISH ONE HERE? LAST TIME I CHECKED, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT ENDED THE POTATO CHIP JUST BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO, NOT ME!” Jimin was screeching again, and Yoongi was so absolutely done with his shit.

“WELL YOU’RE THE ONE THAT CAME CRAWLING BACK AND PRACTICALLY BEGGED TO KEEP ON TRYING TO WORK THINGS OUT WITH THE POTATO CHIP!” Yoongi yelled.

“AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WENT ALONG WITH IT AND ENJOYED IT, RIGHT YOONGI? DON’T PUT THIS ON ME, YOU WERE JUST AS WILLING TO KEEP THINGS GOING!”

“Wait are they still talking about that potato chip?” Namjoon asked Seokjin, probably perplexed by the situation unfolding in front of him.

“YOU KNEW THAT KEEPING THAT POTATO CHIP GOING WOULD ONLY HURT BOTH OF US MORE, YOU IMMATURE DICKWAD!” Yoongi shot back.

“IT’S NOT LIKE YOU VALUED THE POTATO CHIP ENOUGH TO KEEP HANGING ON TO IT. AFTER YOU FUCKING TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME YOU ATE IT AND DESTROYED IT!”

“Yeah, it’s definitely not the potato chip…” Hoseok muttered.

“YOU IDIOT, YOU KNOW I LOVED THAT POTATO CHIP AND HAVING THAT POTATO CHIP WITH YOU BUT IT WAS JUST GOING TO HURT US IN THE END SO I. ATE. IT. BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO HURT YOU!” Yoongi screamed, his hands clawing at his hair.

“YOU DIDN’T WANT TO HURT ME? WHAT A FUCKING JOKE, YOONGI. YOU HURT ME THE SECOND YOU STARTED IMPLYING THAT YOU WERE GONNA GET RID OF THE POTATO CHIP!”

“Guys, like, why can’t we just, like, have some positive, like, vibes in here? Just think about, like, Starbucks pumpkin spice lattes, I mean they make me so, like, happy you know? Almost as happy as when I take a bomb ass selfie for my Insta!” Jungkook said, as if trying to defuse the tension in the room. Yoongi ignored him.

“WELL I WAS SCARED OF THE POTATO CHIP AT TIMES BECAUSE I HAD NEVER FELT THIS WAY ABOUT A POTATO CHIP BEFORE, OKAY? SO I ENDED IT BEFORE I COULD GET REALLY HURT, BEFORE I COULD REALLY HURT YOU. IS THAT SUCH A HORRIBLE THING TO DO?”

“YES BECAUSE YOU STILL MADE ME WANT TO CLAW MY HEART OUT AFTER YOU ENDED EVERYTHING BETWEEN US!” Jimin screamed, all the heartbreak and anger starting to take physical form on his face as tears. Yoongi’s shattered heart cracked a little more.

“AND I FELT THE EXACT SAME WAY, JIMIN! BECAUSE I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU, AND I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU!”

Jimin suddenly jumped up and tackled Yoongi. “HYUNG I LOVE YOU TOO AND I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!”

“JIMIN PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME AGAIN.” Yoongi drunkenly dry sobbed into the crook of Jimin’s neck.

“I WON’T, HYUNG, I WON’T.” Jimin cried. He sniffled for a few seconds before saying, “Can we kiss now, hyung? And make up?”

Yoongi didn’t answer, he just grabbed Jimin’s face and crushed his mouth onto his. Yoongi heard a few gasps from what sounded like Hoseok and Namjoon and Seokjin screaming “Oh my god Jungkook you can’t see this it’s not appropriate for your age group!” and Jungkook’s  annoyed voice saying “Hyung can you please, like, take your hands off my eyes. It’s not like I haven’t seen this shit before,” followed by Seokjin angrily scolding Jungkook for cursing.

They broke away from each other once they heard Taehyung shout, “OH MY GOD GUYS I GOT IT ON VIDEO, JUST WAIT UNTIL I UPLOAD THIS ONTO MY STORY Y’ALL!”

Needless to say, Yoongi mercilessly smashed Taehyung’s phone to pieces that night before going back to the couch to make out with Jimin some more.

One Year Later

Jimin didn’t think that a day had every felt so long before. The professor was droning on and on about something but Jimin was finding it impossible to concentrate. His phone was nestled in his lap completely out of sight, but he knew that it probably wasn’t smart to keep checking it so often.

Dinner later? Read the last unanswered text he had sent to Yoongi. Jimin couldn’t stop tapping his foot up and down nervously as the minutes stretched out longer and longer with no response. He knew that his boyfriend was often busy and forgot to reply but it was his birthday.

Jimin thought back to that morning, feeling anxious as he remembered how distant Yoongi had seemed. There had been a few instances like that recently when Yoongi had gone completely off the radar for a few hours or seemed too lost in his thoughts to pay attention to Jimin.

Jimin knew that he was probably overreacting but he couldn’t help feeling scared that Yoongi was sick of him or bored or something else equally horrible and unfathomable. Jimin’s worst fear had always been that he was loved back less but he always tried to understand that he and Yoongi showed affection in different ways.

Waking up that morning, nestled in his boyfriend’s arms, he had felt peaceful, like there was no other place in the world that he would rather be. He had been excited to spend his special day with the person who was most important to him. But things hadn’t gone the way he’d thought they would. Yoongi had slept in rather than getting up with Jimin as he usually did when the alarm rang.

Jimin wanted to understand that his boyfriend was just in need of some extra sleep. The dark circles like half moons under his eyes, looking like a bruise against his pale skin, had indicated he’d been staying up far too late working on his latest project, but Jimin couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt that Yoongi had forgotten his birthday.

Now that his countless text messages had gone unanswered, Jimin was more than a little hurt. He breathed a sigh of relief when the professor announced that class was dismissed and was out the door before most of the students had even put away all their things.

Even though he’d left as early as he could, Jimin arrived to the practice studio a little late and, peeking inside, he could see Hoseok and Jungkook already working on their routine. He pushed open the door and greeted them with a smile. It was hard to do when his mind was occupied with thoughts of Yoongi and why he wasn’t replying, but Jimin decided that he was going to throw his all into practice.

“Why are you late?” Hoseok asked sharply, making Jimin pause in surprise.

“I had class…” He said, feeling slightly off balance. Surely they weren’t angry?

“Jungkook has class but he shows up. Aren’t you being kind of disrespectful? This is a crew not Jimin and his backup dancers. Do you think you’re better than us because you’re in University now? Does studying dance put you on another level? Huh?”

Jimin could feel angry tears stinging his eyes but he blinked them away. “I’m really sorry guys. I guess I was just a little distracted today.” He said softly, dropping his gym bag in the corner and stripping off his sweater. He was waiting for them to ask why he was distracted or to wish him a happy birthday but they didn’t, just restarted the music.

Jimin glanced over at Jungkook but the younger boy was absorbed in perfecting a body roll and didn’t return his glance. He was hurt but less surprised with Hoseok’s dismissal but the fact that his childhood friend had forgotten his birthday really stung.

“Are you going to dance hyung? Or are you just going to stand there?” Jungkook said in a hard voice. Jimin blinked in surprise but he just nodded and got into position.

Yoongi carefully placed the last piece of tape on the present he had been painstakingly wrapping for over two hours. He had spent forever trying to figure out what to get Jimin for his birthday. He knew his boyfriend loved surprises, so he had meticulously planned a surprise birthday party for him. However Yoongi still felt slightly insecure, since this was the first time hei was going to be celebrating Jimin’s birthday with him.

His phone vibrated right as Yoongi was smoothing out the last of the wrinkles in the red wrapping paper of the present. He sighed, a small smile forming on his lips.

Dinner later? It read. Jimin had been spamming Yoongi for the past few hours, with sweet texts like “Have you eaten lunch yet?” and “I miss you” and “Can’t wait to see you later, hyung.” It had taken all of Yoongi’s self control not to reply; he needed this to be the perfect surprise for Jimin.

He had ignored Jimin this morning when the younger’s voice breathed out a cute and excited “Good morning, hyung!” whilst pretending to be asleep, and he needed to continue to ignore Jimin’s numerous text messages. He had also warned all of their mutual friends to “forget” Jimin’s birthday, to not send any “Happy Birthday” messages or wish him well in person. To be honest, it was kind of cruel.

Then again, Yoongi had been cruel to Jimin so many times already, he was sure his boyfriend was used to it already.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Yoongi checked his other messages. Jin was cooking the seaweed soup and had bought all the ingredients yesterday evening, Namjoon had made sure Seokjin’s club would be empty tonight, Hoseok and Kookie were going to distract Jimin during their dance practice and take him to Jin’s (and practically Namjoon’s) place, and Taehyung was going to show up at the club at 4:30 with all the streamers and balloons.

It has to be perfect, Yoongi thought, it’s going to be perfect. It’s our first time celebrating Jimin’s birthday, and it’s going to be perfect.

Okay so maybe Yoongi was just a little bit of a perfectionist, but when it came to Jimin, there wasn’t anything Yoongi wasn’t willing to do to see an adorable grin on the younger’s face.

And that was probably why Yoongi had spent three sleepless nights working on a mixtape for Jimin. There were only five songs on it, but they were five songs Yoongi was really damn proud of. He hadn’t let anyone else listen to it, worried that the sappy lyrics and soft beats would ruin his street cred around his friends.

Yoongi was determined to make Jimin’s birthday perfect, even he had to make both of them suffer during it.

He obsessively smoothed over the present a few more times before picking out an outfit and heading to the club to meet up with Namjoon, Jimin’s custom marble birthday cake in tow.

By the time Hoseok decided that dance practice was over it was already after 5pm and Jimin had been anxiously resisting checking his phone for fear of getting another scolding. To his dismay, when he turned it back on, the display was empty except for text messages from his parents which were nice but not what he was hoping for.

“Hey so everyone’s gonna be at Jin’s place later, do you want to come with us and go straight there?” Hoseok asked in a studied casual tone. Jimin looked up sharply and neither Hoseok nor Jungkook would meet his eyes. Either they felt bad about snapping at him or…

All of a sudden, Jimin thought he understood what was going on and suppressed a smile. They must be planning a surprise party for him at Seokjin’s apartment.

“Sure! Let’s go!” He said, suddenly feeling a lot more cheerful about the whole ordeal.

When they reached the apartment, however, things weren’t what he’d expected. To start with, Yoongi wasn’t there. Jimin hated how much his heart sank when he saw that the only occupants of the apartment were Namjoon, who was sprawled out on the couch, and Seokjin, who was cooking in the kitchen. When a fishy smell reached Jimin’s nostrils he thought that he’d at least been right about the birthday party but then Seokjin was waving him over.

“Oh good Jimin you’re here. I hope you’re not too tired, I have a favour to ask.”

“Sure, what is it?” Jimin asked, peering down at the seaweed soup that Seokjin was pouring into different tupperware containers.

“It’s my cousin’s birthday today, do you think you could run this down to the club for me. I’ve got too much to do right now and you’re strong.” He patted Jimin’s forearm and under normal circumstances Jimin would have felt flattered and proud, but as it was he just felt annoyed.

“Or course.” He said sadly.

It was horribly unfair, Jimin thought, to be carrying several containers full of seaweed soup meant for someone else on a chilly autumn evening when it was his birthday and not one person had remembered. The club wasn’t too far, all things considered, only a twenty minute walk, but by the time he arrived Jimin was fuming.

The lights were off inside and it didn’t seem like anyone was there. Jimin suddenly felt like crying. Had he been sent on a useless errand? He briefly considered just sitting and eating the seaweed soup himself. It was his birthday after all.

Then suddenly the place was flooded with light and Jimin felt his mouth drop open as he saw all of his friends standing amidst an almost embarrassingly large pile of streamers and balloons, and right there in the front was Yoongi.

Jimin felt himself tearing up for the second time that day. “What the fuck is all this?” He half sobbed.

Yoongi’s eyes widened in panic. “I know we shouldn’t have let Tae go get the decorations by himself. It’s way too much but I thought you’d be happy…”

He trailed off when Jimin threw himself into his boyfriend’s arms.

“Of course I love it you idiot. I was just so scared you’d all forgotten my birthday and then Hoseok hyung yelled at me in practice and I just…”

“You yelled at him!?” Yoongi glared at Hoseok who shot Jimin a look that seemed to say “thanks for tattling on me.”

“You said not to acknowledge his birthday. I just got a bit carried away I guess.”

“You said that?” Jimin glared up at Yoongi, keeping his arms around his waist.

“Let’s do presents guys!” Seokjin cut in anxiously. “Yoongi first?”

“Uh. Mine’s for later.” Yoongi said awkwardly. There was a chorus of groans that followed his announcement.

“Oh GROSS Yoongi hyung.” Jungkook whined.

Yoongi flushed deeply, the colour showing up vividly against his pale skin. “No no that’s not what I meant. It’s a mixtape. It’s just a little personal that’s all.”

Jimin smiled in satisfaction. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst birthday ever.

Jimin had seemed ecstatic when Yoongi had given him his present, but Yoongi still felt a lot of anxiety and nervousness pooling in his stomach as he popped it into the CD player. They were by far the cheesiest songs he had ever, and probably would ever, write.

He couldn’t help but cringe at the opening lines of the first song “My first date with you, my heart keeps pounding like a kid” but Jimin was smiling and giggling as he listened. Yoongi loosened up a bit, exhaling sharply a few times. He had had Jungkook, Taehyung, and Seokjin rotate in singing the choruses for each song, since Yoongi knew his singing voice would definitely wipe the sappy grin off Jimin’s face.

“The sun called you is rising on Sunday” the room went quiet as the player started loading the next song.

Oh my god he’s going to think this one is too gross and cheesy and he’s going to hate it and oh my god why didn’t I just not write him a bunch of love songs I could’ve just bought him some dancing clothes why did I have to do this, Yoongi thought frantically.

“If I only had just one day/I want to peacefully sleep/Intoxicated with your sweet scent” his rapping echoed in the silent room. Yoongi shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to see Jimin’s reaction to the incredibly cheesy lyrics. They were even worse than the first song.

It wasn’t until he was suddenly engulfed in warmth that Yoongi opened his eyes again. Jimin’s face was centimeters from his as he embraced the elder with a wide smile on his face. “Oh my god, hyung, this is so amazing! How long did you spend working on these songs?”

Yoongi sighed in relief. “Uh, thanks, Jiminie. I don’t think you want to know how long I spent perfecting them, but it was a long ass time, babe.”

“Ah, I see…” Jimin murmured into the elder’s neck, “...so you worked with Jungkook and Taehyung on these tracks too?”

“Yeah, I worked with them and Seokjin for the vocals, since I can’t sing for shit.”

Jimin pulled back and pouted. “You worked with Jungkook, Taehyung, and Seokjin hyung?”

Yoongi laughed. “Oh my god, don’t get so jealous. They’re all taken men, remember?”

“...hmph, whatever.” Jimin kept pouting and furrowing his brows together.

Yoongi giggled as he pecked his boyfriend on the nose. “You’re too cute sometimes.”

Jimin blushed awkwardly. “Hyung, shhhhh...the next song is starting.”

They sat quietly together, still wrapped in each other’s arms.

“Only you~/Only you~” Jimin giggled, mumbling something along the lines of “It just gets sappier and sappier huh?”

“I promise the next song isn’t as bad,” Yoongi muttered, “And I thought you liked cheesy songs.”

“I do, hyung, I do. I just didn’t know you would be the one writing them.” Jimin giggled again, and in that moment, Yoongi could have sworn that Jimin looked absolutely angelic. “You’re a former underground rapper, I didn’t think you did love songs.”

“I don’t,” Yoongi could feel the blood rushing to his face, “but I’ll write as many love songs as you want me too.”

“Don’t think of anything/Don’t say anything, not even one word/Just give me a smile” Jungkook’s voice filled the air.

“Is this your way of telling me I talk too much?” Jimin huffed. “‘Don’t think of anything?’ If I’m not thinking then how will I remember to breathe, to blink, to survive? I mean‒”

“Jimin, it’s just a poetic lyric,” Yoongi cut him off, “You can flame me for it tomorrow.”

Jimin was quiet for a few moments. “...so like...you want me to just shut up and smile for you? Do you want a doll or a boyfriend, hyung?”

“No, no, no, that’s not what I meant, I just thought the lyrics sounded nice. Don’t read into them so much,” Yoongi sighed.

“...Okay then, hyung.”

“You’re really not going to let this go, are you?”

“...maybe.”

“Whatever, just listen and enjoy the next song then. We can discuss and analyze ‘Butterfly’ later.”

“Good to you/I only have you/Good to you/Even if I’m far away/Always stay by my side/Good to you/You’re my everything/Even if the difficult tomorrow comes/Hold my hand”

Jimin grabbed Yoongi’s hand suddenly. “Nice to know that apparently I’m your everything, hyung. You should really keep making these songs. I feel like these lyrics show more affection than you have the past three months.”

“Wow, you’re replacing me with my lyrics? That’s a low blow, Jiminie.”

More giggles erupted from Jimin. “It’s okay, hyung, I still loooooove youuuuu.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Don’t you have something you want to say?”

“I think we’ve talked enough today.”

Jimin pouted. “Hyung…” he whined dramatically.

“I love you too.”