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Three People

Summary:

Vidcund and Lazlo eavesdrop on an argument between the Goth heiress and her fiancé while eating at the newest Strangetown restaurant, Olive's Garden.

Notes:

was initially planning to write a Halloween-themed short as the next Vissandra one-shot, but then I got bored and made this instead. There's not as much Vissandra in this one as there was in the last one, but I do hope you enjoy it anyway. I'll try to get some more in next time lol

Work Text:

Lazlo stared out the window in glee, eyeing the dark brown and black interior of the new restaurant "Olive's Garden" as he sat in the passenger seat of the Curious family car. He turned his head towards Vidcund, who had just parked the car in the parking lot besides the restaurant. The two of them stepped out, eyeing the gravestones and flowers resting along the outdoor area on the restaurant's lot, before Vidcund locked the car.

This is the first time Strangetown got their own fancy Italian restaurant! Now finally, we don't have to take the bus all the way to Bluewater Village for Italian food!

I wonder if it'd be cheaper, too…

The two brothers walked past the gravestones, taking a glance to stare at each one. As the town's memorial mason, Olive Specter had carefully crafted each gravestone to reflect the personalities of each person that had been re-buried on the lot. This made it fairly easy to tell which people she hated while they were alive, as some of them were much, much more simple than others.

Earl E. Demise. An egotistical coward who left his loving fiancée at the altar.

Man, I sure do wonder who that "loving fiancée" is.

Vidcund and Lazlo stood before the black double doors of the building, nodding at each other before they pushed the door open in unison. The two were greeted with the sounds of classical violin and the smell of tomato sauce and meaty pasta.

Ah…

Lazlo inhaled, smiling to himself, before looking over at the seated patrons.

There's a fair number of couples here. Some of them consist of interspecies ghost/human couples, and one of the tables as a party of only ghosts. There's also two teenage boys and a small, blonde boy sitting with a female gho-OH!

It's Lyla! Jenny's childhood friend who randomly died! We should probably tell Jenny about this once we get back home. I'm sure she'd be happy to catch up with her when she get the chance.

Lazlo approached the hostess, who was dressed in an all-black uniform.

"Table for two?" the hostess asked, smiling.

Lazlo nodded, grabbing Vidcund's wrist as the two were led to a table beside a seemingly irtitated couple, consisting of a vaguely familiar goth woman with black pigtails and circular glasses and a man with a pompadour haircut, goatee and a striped purple button-down shirt.

Oooh…that's Cassandra and Don. Vidcund's work crush and the guy she's engaged to.

Lazlo walked Vidcund over to the seat that was turned away from the couple, before sitting across from him as he eyed the back of Cassandra's head. A waitress stopped by, placing down a tray of garlic breadsticks, before handing the two of them menus.

"Would you two like a cup of water?"

"Yes, please," Lazlo said, "And one bottle of your finest red wine."

Pascal's going to get upset when he finds out we went to dinner without him, even when we know damn well that he's just going to complain the whole time if we did invite him, so we need the bottle of wine in order to calm him down the next time we see him.

"And make my cup of water warm," Vidcund said, "It's better for blood circulation."

The waittress nodded, then walked off as Lazlo grabbed one of the garlic breadsticks. He took a large bite of the stick before pushing the rest of it down in his mouth.

Chloe said that these breadsticks were unlimited. Normally wouldn't trust her word, but Lola vouched for her. A bit of a surprise considering how fancy this place looks.

Plush, dark red booths with dark wooden tables, fancy-looking chairs, and black, gothic wall-paper as a young, dark-skinned performer with blonde braids plays the violin in the corner. Something about her seems a bit familiar…eh. Probably one of Johnny's friends. It's been a while since I've talked to him, since he's been busy with college applications.

That does remind me. I really haven't seen either Jenny, Johnny or Jill in a while. Or even PT9. I should probably check up on them once we get back home.

"Alright," Vidcund said, interrupting Lazlo's train of thought, "So the plan is to split our respective dishes, correct?"

Lazlo nodded, chewing on his breadstick as he covered his mouth with his hand.

"I heard the carbonara is good," Vidcund said, "So maybe I'll get that. You have any clue for what you want to get?"

Lazlo shook his head, before opening his menu to stare at its contents.

As expected, it's entirely Italian cuisine. There's no point in looking over the appetizers or the salads since the garlic breadsticks are unlimited, so I just gotta go straight to the pasta section…I wonder if they've got any interesting drinks.

Lazlo flipped the menu over, his eye immediately catching sight of the photo of the Strawberry Italian soda.

Oh DAMN! That looks good!

"You want to get a drink, Vid?"

Vidcund flipped his menu back over, then shrugged.

"It's too late for an espresso," he said, "So I'll just stick to my water."

"Afraid you'll almost piss yourself like last time?"

Vidcund narrowed his eyes in annoyance, before slamming the menu back around.

"…Fine. I'll get the lemonade."

Lazlo smirked, before grabbing another garlic breadstick as he turned back to the pasta options on the menu.

 

"THREE PEOPLE?"

 

Vidcund and Lazlo immediately froze in place as they heard Cassandra's voice from the other booth, prompting Lazlo to place his menu back down.

"It's really not what you think," Don said, sounding genuinely frantic, "And besides, that doesn't mean I don't love you! I let you take me to this creepy ghost restaurant, after all. Do you really think I'd come here if I didn't?"

"Don't change the subject," Cassandra snapped, "You cheated on me with three people! Nina was already humiliating enough, but Dina too? And Mary-Sue's maid?"

"Her name is Kaylynn, which you'd know if you actually bothered to talk to her."

"You're missing the point, Donovan!"

Lazlo noticed Don visibly flinch as Vidcund quickly held the menu up, turning his head to the side as though trying to get a glimpse of the bickering couple.

"You still cheated on me with three other women," Cassandra said, "If you didn't want to wait until after marriage to have sex, you could've just told me!"

Lazlo heard footsteps as the waittress came by, handing them their cups of water alongside two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine.

"Are you two ready to order?"

"Carbonara and-"

Lazlo quickly flipped through the menu, pointing at a random pasta dish.

"-That one," he said, "With a lemonade and a Strawberry Italian soda."

"Sounds good. Would you like to keep the menus?"

"Nope. That's all."

The waittress took both Vidcund's and Lazlo's menus, before disappearing from sight as Lazlo looked back over at Don and Cassandra.

"Lazlo," Vidcund said, "Do you even know what you-"

"Shh," Lazlo shushed, "We're missing the tea."

"Neither of us-"

"I'm not being literal," Lazlo hissed, "I'm talking about the gossip going on behind us. Keep quiet. Pascal might be easier to calm if we give him an interesting story."

Vidcund nodded, resting his arms on the table.

"Well don't act like you're innocent!" Don said, "I bet you were having an affair with that co-worker of yours! The one with the bowlcut that you called hot and said that you had 'interesting conversations' with?"

Vidcund's face turned red as he leaned back in his chair, covering his mouth with his hand.

"Well, I never made a move on him!" Cassandra hissed, "I call him hot one time and you act like I'm actively pursuing him. And with the level of disrespect you've given me, I honestly wish I had an affair with him. I'm certainly he's far better in bed than you were."

"Okay, now that's too far! You don't even know what I'm like in bed!"

Vidcund snickered, before his eyes widened at the sight of something behind Lazlo. Lazlo turned his head, noticing Pascal inside of the restaurant standing near the hostess was, before turning his head and marching towards the two of them.

Pascal trying to crash the party yet again. Good thing I came prepared.

"You two seriously went to Olive's-"

"SHH!"

Pascal froze as Lazlo pulled him down to the seat, before Lazlo poured a glass of wine and handed it over to his oldest brother. Lazlo then stared past Vidcund's head as Pascal sipped on the wine, calming down almost immediately.

"None of this would've happened if you weren't so stuck-up with your family rules," Don said, "I can't wait that long, and you know it! A man's got his needs."

Pascal raised his eyebrows, his lips remaining against the rim of his wine glass, before the waittress returned with Vidcund's carbonara and a pasta dish that looked unusually red.

"One carbonara and one penne all'arrabiata."

Lazlo stared down at his plate of red pasta, before licking his lips as he reached for the fork. Pascal eyed the pasta warily as Lazlo took a bite, savoring its spicy flavor as he watched Vidcund twirl his carbonara noodles on his fork.

It's only a little bit spicy. Thank goodness. Would be a real bust if this ended up being straight up inedible, especially since Vidcund and I waited a whole week to get the chance to come here.

"It's always you, you, you, you you!" Cassandra said, "Do you not know what a committed relationship means? And you're acting like I'm some cold, heartless monster who denies you sex just because I want my mother at my wedding!"

"Your mother is dead! How long is it going to take for you to realize that?"

"She would've still been here if you didn't randomly invite her over to your condo that night! What business did you even have with her, anyway? Were you trying to hit on her like you did with every other woman in Pleasantview?"

"What kind of man do you take me for? You think I just hit on everything that moves?"

"Considering you got three women pregnant, YES! And considering you apparently tried to hit on both Mary-Sue and Brandi knowing fully well that one of them's married and the other's a lesbian, YES!"

"And you really trust Brandi over me? The woman who acts fake nice to everyone?"

"Well, she didn't get three people pregnant, and all three of her kids are from the same person. So yes, I do."

Lazlo placed down his fork as he noticed Vidcund eating his carbonara, before noticing Pascal placing the wine glass down and eyeing Lazlo's food. Lazlo handed Pascal his fork, letting his brother take a bite of his spicy pasta, before Pascal winced as he quickly handed Lazlo the fork back.

"That's way too hot," he said, "How are you tolerating that?"

Lazlo shrugged as the waittress came by with the lemonade and the Strawberry Italian soda, prompting Pascal to quickly grab the lemonade and chug it as Vidcund watched him in alarm.

"Ah," Pascal said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Much better."

Vidcund and Lazlo eyed the lemonade, realizing that Pascal had finished half of it in the few seconds that he drank it, before Vidcund quickly moved the lemonade to his side of the table. A look of horror quickly flashed across Pascal's face as he realized what happened, before he started patting the pockets of his pants for his wallet.

"I'm so sorry, Vidcund," he said, "I can pay you back? Or get you another one?"

"It doesn't matter at this point," Vidcund said, furrowing his eyebrows.

Pascal frowned as Vidcund turned back to his food, taking another bite of his carbonara as Lazlo did the same with his own pasta.

"And I'm done having to pay for you everytime you go out," Cassandra said, standing up "This bill is on you. Goodbye, and don't ever contact me again."

Cassandra stormed off as Vidcund, Lazlo and Pascal all glanced at each other, before Pascal took another sip of his wine.

"Okay," Pascal said, "Now that's we're done listening in on that, do you two care to explain why you didn't invite me to dinner?"

"We didn't think you'd be interested, man," Lazlo said, "You hate carbs, and all the best Italian dishes are hella carby."

"We both know that's not the reason."

Lazlo glanced at Vidcund, who moved a hand to his forehead.

"You always ruin the vibe, and we waited a week to get to this place," Vidcund said, "The last thing we wanted while eating our food was for you to talk about how unhealthy pasta is and how we'd clog our arteries from it."

Pascal angrily grabbed a breadstick, tearing it in half with his teeth as he angrily chewed on it with his mouth closed. Vidcund and Lazlo waited in silence before Pascal swallowed, before picking up his wine glass with his free hand.

"…Really wish you two told me that earlier instead of trying to exclude me from things," he said, "You know I don't like being excluded."

"Well, what would you even eat at an Italian restaurant?"

"There's salads, aren't there? I could get one of those."

"That's really sad," Lazlo said.

"If you're going to judge my food choices, why can't I judge yours?" Pascal said, narrowing his eyes, "And some places have very good sa-

 

"YOU!"

 

Pascal, Lazlo and Vidcund all flinched as they noticed a slightly drunk Don angrily standing before their table, his finger pointed at Vidcund.

"You've been eavesdropping on my conversation with Cassandra this whole time, haven't you?" he said, "Waiting for the moment to snatch her up?"

"If I wanted to, I would've already."

Don reached for the collar of Vidcund's shirt, prompting Pascal to stand up and lunge at Don with the breadstick still in his hand. Lazlo stood up as he noticed Pascal pinning Don to the floor, before hitting him repeatedly with the half-eaten garlic breadstick.

"Don't touch any of my family members, MANWHORE!" Pascal shouted, continuing to whack Don with the breadstick as he spoke, "The only person you have to blame for Cassandra dumping you is YOU! Anyone with self-respect wouldn't stay with a man who got three other women pregnant!"

"You'd understand if you were in my-"

Pascal shoved the breadstick in Don's mouth as a waiter, the hostess, and a waittress ran over, pulling Pascal off of Don as the latter stood up and pulled the breadstick out of his mouth.

"Both of you, out of the restaurant!" the hostess said, "Now!"

Don tossed the half-eaten breadstick aside, reluctantly following the waiter and waittress that was now dragging Pascal out of the restaurant. Pascal remained quietly, reluctantly letting himself get dragged out, before him and Don disappeared from view.

"That was…close…" Vidcund said, watching the entrance, "…You want to swap dishes now?"

"You think you could handle mine? Pascal couldn't."

"Oh, please. My spice tolerance isn't that bad. Give it to me."

Lazlo and Vidcund swapped plates before Lazlo dug into the carbonara, watching Vidcund examine a piece of pasta with his fork before placing it in his mouth.

"Oh my," Vidcund said, his eyes widening a bit, "It's spicer than I expected."

"Told ya,"

Vidcund shrugged, before taking another bite as the two continued eating in silence. Lazlo looked back outside, noticing that the sky was staring to get dark, before glancing back over at his food.

We only have one car…which means that Pascal walked all the way here.

"Do you think that we go too hard on Pascal sometimes?" Lazlo said, "Maybe he had a point of us being judgemental of him too."

"Nah. He brings it on himself by judging us first."

Lazlo frowned as Vidcund took a swig of lemonade.

"The two of us can talk to him about it once we get back home," he said, "Or once we pick him up from the corner store, considering it's closer and he's got that whole thing about not walking back home while drunk."

Lazlo nodded, before noticing Vidcund turning towards the window with a dorky smile on his slightly reddened face.

"…Do you think it'd be a good idea to ask Cassandra out tomorrow?"

"Nah, too soon. Wait for her to make the move first."

"Hm…"

"Though," Lazlo said, "I guess if you wanted to speed things up, I heard she likes the smell of coffee."

Vidcund nodded, intrigued, before Lazlo picked up his Italian Strawberry soda.

"To the start of a new relationship," he said, "Hopefully."

Vidcund picked up his lemonade glass, clinking it against Lazlo's, before the two took a sip of their respective drinks.

 

Sweet and creamy, just the way I like it.

And a perfect way to (almost) end the night.

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