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The thing was, Henry had thought about it before.
He’d thought about it a lot before.
What it would feel like to go to sleep and never wake up. To step off the roof of a skyscraper. To put a gun in his mouth.
He’d even gotten close a few times.
Brought a razor blade into the bathtub. Searched the medicine cabinet for the right combination of pills. Walked right up to the edge of the train tracks.
But he never went through with it.
He’d wanted to do it, but something had always stopped him.
A phone call from his parents. Not being able to find the right mix of pills to take him out. A casual compliment from a stranger.
So he’d never done it. He wasn’t brave enough.
And slowly, he gathered more reasons to keep living.
Little things, like his favorite band releasing a new album. Wanting to prove that jackass in his art history class wrong. And Athena.
Athena was perfect for all of the reasons she wasn’t perfect. A little brash, a little loud, a little too good at hiding her emotions behind a mask. She said all the things he wasn’t brave enough to say.
She was named after the Greek goddess of wisdom and strategy, but she couldn’t have been very wise if she stuck around him. But she stayed, and saw him, saw all the parts of him he tried to hide. And he loved her for it. He wanted to marry her. For the first time in his entire fucking life, Henry didn’t want to die.
So of course, that’s exactly when he did.
He crashed his car put a gun in his mouth.
He killed his family killed himself.
He wanted to live wanted to die.
So he did.