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The Guardians are a group of losers. Which is why Peter is struggling to keep Tony with them, because Tony is not a loser.
That’s not to say Tony hasn’t lost things and people, he has. Oh does Peter know how much Tony’s lost. He can remember the way the man joked about the Arc Reactor (the jagged scars torn across his chest hiding how deep and painful it is). He can remember how the man calmly talked a teenager down from an anxiety attack by listening and then sharing the story of his own family (and if Peter’s relieved a certain Father figure is dead, well he’s only human… or maybe he should be thanking his Spartoi heritage for the lack of sympathy).
The point is Peter knows Tony’s lost a lot. He’s lost family, friends, ideas, allies, lovers, control of his own body and mind. Peter knows this, but he also knows that Tony is not a loser.
He knows from the way Tony sometimes talks to himself and hesitates a moment too long as though he expects someone to reply. He knows it from the way the man laughs and jokes, but ultimately defends his home planet (listening to Rocket and Tony’s arguments used to make him smile, now it’s kind of bittersweet). He knows it from the way he lingers in the calls he makes back to Earth. The man has a home, has a life; has a place he belongs.
Tony Stark is not a loser. And Peter Quill cannot decide whether to be happy for him or not.
Because, Tony fits so well in their little rag tag group. Tony can talk weapons with Drax, can talk technology and engineering with Rocket, responds to Groot as though he understands (he doesn’t, which causes Rocket to laugh up a storm at some of their conversations), he’s able to compliment Gamora without being threatened or killed (something about the “powerful women” in his life) and… well… he calls Peter Star-Lord.
He says it in a way that reminds Peter of Gamora. Or, he should say, reminds him of how she used to say his name; back when he and the other Guardians first went out into space as a cemented group (not the cluttered mess of a group who were only looking out for their own self-interests). Back when he flirted with her and she teased him back with fond exasperation. Back when Star-Lord was just a loving nickname from his Mom and not a title… a symbol.
Tony makes him happy to be Star-Lord.
Tony makes him love Space.
Well not to say he didn’t love Space from the beginning. He did. He remembers back when he was on Earth reading comics about aliens and the galaxy and then he was there experiencing it all for himself and he loved it. There was always something new to see and do.
But, there was always some kind of barrier stopping him from fully enjoying it all. A mission for the Ravagers, fear for his life, his precious Milano needing repairs, a- Well you get it, there was always something clouding his joy of Space.
But here…. Here! He has Tony. Someone who’s blown away by even the littlest of differences. Is excited to be running for his life, because he gets to admire new weapons he has never seen, even if they’re being fired at him. Is thrilled to be on a mission, so he can explore new planets, new customs, can immerse himself in a world he’s always dreamed of.
And it’s great!
So great…
And Peter wants to be selfish.
Wants to keep Tony for himself. Wants to keep this bright beacon of joy to himself. Wants to protect it from those who had tried to extinguish it beforehand. Tony makes him so much better, makes his life so much better. He doesn’t understand how anyone can find faults in him.
But others had. His old team, divided and needing someone to take the blame (not that Tony would ever say that, he fully agrees with what was said of him, believes he was to blame). He separated from his girlfriend due to the two of them not being able to provide what the other needs, an endless list of expectations and assumptions there.
So Peter wonders why Tony feels the need to go back. Why Tony isn’t a loser.
Peter knows why. There’s his best friend Rhodey who is an amazing man, who has been a brother to Tony over the decades of friendship. Who can make Tony smile when no one else can, who Tony can speak to about anything without worry. Who is still struggling with the use of his legs no matter how hard he tries to move on.
There’s the other Peter in Tony’s life. A teenaged boy that Tony acts like a Father to. Who takes risks a kid shouldn’t need to take, risks Tony takes the blame for even when he’s not around to consult, because no kid should have to deal with that much responsibility.
There’s the planet he’s from that has provided both of them with endless joys. The fictional stories, that offer the two of them different forms of escapism; that converted them to nerds (Tony’s the nerd, Peter is a dork thank you very much). The planet that houses the graves of near and dear people to the two of them (Peter wants to go back and visit his Mother’s grave). And the music!
God the music!
(Then come with me and escape…)
Happy Hogan is waiting to drive Tony around. Waiting for his friend to come back so they can box together. Who just supports Tony and Ironman even when he disagree with some of Tony’s ideas.
There’s also Pepper Potts. Dear Pepper Potts that although never managed to work the romantic angle with Tony, definitely succeeded the CEO and friend angle. A red haired demon that would protect Tony to her last breath.
And there’s the Avengers that Tony still tries to help. Divided but all still working towards the same goals: protecting the planet.
Peter wants Tony to stay. Wants to keep dating the man of his dreams, but Tony is not a loser. And sadly only losers actually stay with the Guardians.
He imagines Tony will leave him to go to Earth someday soon. That the two of them will keep in contact even if it’ll be harder to move on that way. But until that day, he’s going to continue to amaze Tony with the galaxy, he’s going to continue enjoying Tony’s company and he’s going to continue to wake up next to the man of his dreams.