Work Text:
The car ride home from the case was quiet- it always was, but this time, not with that comfortable silence. It was a silence, loaded with unspoken tension.
The case had left them both wrecked.. a big family constantly fighting, even at their worst. Ed and Lorraine did their best, helping them with their paranormal problems, however they couldn’t help their family issues.
Ed saw the effect the fighting was having on Lorraine. She had never, ever liked fighting. Whether she overheard her parents fighting as a little girl, saw a fight in the high school hallways or- god forbid- she and Ed had a disagreement. For the past few days, she’d been even quieter than usual, lost in her thoughts. Ed saw how she had zoned out every time they heard raised voices or curses coming from the family.
On top of all the fighting, the case took three days, which meant two days of disturbed sleep in an uncomfortable guest bedroom. The bed was a single twin bed, very clearly designed for one child, yet somehow Ed and Lorraine pushed past it and made it work (even if their backs were killing them).
Now it was finally over, and they were one hour away from Monroe, when Ed saw they were low on gas. He looked over at the passenger seat to find Lorraine asleep, which was rare since she never trusted him to know where to drive by himself. The road was quite busy, so he naturally didn’t want to put them- and others at risk by looking at a map himself. So he woke her..
Big mistake.
“Hon.. Lorraine.. we have to pull over, we’re nearly out of gas.. would you mind finding a gas station?”
Big mistake.
Lorraine groaned and stretched a bit as she woke up. The dark circles under her eyes were darker than Ed’s. For her, it wasn’t only the bed that brought her the insomnia.. it was the whole atmosphere of that household. Now that she could finally sleep, he woke her up.
“Lorraine?” he asked again, unsure if she’d heard him the first time.
She did.
She slowly moved her head from where it was leaning against the car window to look at him, with a look that could kill. He didn’t see her expression at first, being focused on the road, until they stopped at a red light and he looked at her.
“Oh good, you’re aw-“ he was quickly cut off by her cold-blooded stare. “Honey.. I’m so sorry for waking you up, but we’re nearly home anyway I..”
Lorraine never broke eye contact as she reached for the map. With a cold tone, she quietly asked, “Where are we?”
“Bristol..” he replied, and started driving after the light had turned green. “Only about an hour away from home..” he added, guilt starting to kick in.
She didn’t say a single word back to him, just simply unfolded the map and searched for a gas station.
“I’m sorry, Lorraine.. I should’ve pulled over and looked for one myself,” he said, only now sensing what he had done. His eyes looked over at her for a split second, only to see a tear dropping down her cheek. “Lorraine, hey..” he said, anxiety rising in his voice as he pulled the car over.
Once the car was at the side of the road, she let the tears run, and didn’t try to hold them back. Through her sobs, she could distantly hear Ed calling out her name but, she couldn’t respond. His voice was muffled in her brain, even though he was sitting right beside her in the car.
“Hon.. Please, please, say something.. Please, Lorraine,” his voice grew more and more worried, so he tried to reach out for her.
Another mistake.
“Don’t touch me,” he heard her whisper quietly and immediately pulled his hand back. He had seen her in this state many times before. It always happens when she’s already on the verge of breaking down, and something pushes her over the edge. He had never imagined he’d be that something to push her.
“‘m so sorry, hon..” he murmured, knowing she wouldn’t care for his response right now anyway. He watched her closely, scared to take his eyes off her. Her brown curls were tangled with her hands, which were on her face, trying to wipe away her tears.
He silently reached for a tissue in his jacket pocket and carefully placed it on her lap. “I love you,” he repeated for the tenth time in that minute and sat back, his eyes still never leaving her broken figure.
After about a minute or two, her shaking hands reached for the scrunched-up tissue on her thigh and picked it up, bringing it to her teary eyes. “Thank you,” was all she managed to choke out before her voice gave way to tears again.
“I’m so sorry, honey, I shoulda’ been more considerate..” his voice started again, but Lorraine interrupted him this time, “‘s okay.. You didn’t mean anything bad.”
Ed’s eyes waited for hers to look back, but they didn’t. She often did this- she couldn’t look at him when she was in such a vulnerable state, but Ed’s gaze waited. Waited until her eyes eventually looked back at him.
He gave her a small smile, barely there, but it wasn’t nothing, and her lip wobbled again, another wave of tears breaking through. “It’s okay, hon, let it out.. I’m right here..” he comforted her, and he saw her hand reaching out for his.
He took her hand gently into his bigger one, and stroked his thumb over her knuckles. “Shh.. I’m right here.. Everything’s okay..” he continued, calming her down, and surprisingly, it was kind of working. After about another ten minutes, her crying quieted down.
“Are we going home now? I- I wanna see Jude..” her small voice asked. She sounded so tiny and fragile, it truly broke Ed’s heart. “Yeah, we are..” he started, placing her hand back on her thigh and starting the car, he continued, “let me just find a gas station, and we’ll be on our way, mhm?”
Lorraine nodded and gave him the map, which was now even more wrinkled than before, but neither of them seemed to care. “I’m really s-“ she started, but was immediately interrupted by her husband, without him even looking at her, “No. You didn’t do anything wrong; therefore, you can’t be sorry.”
He looked at her with raised eyebrows, trying to get her in a lighter mood, and it worked. She let out a little chuckle, and her face slowly started gaining its colour back.
Turns out the closest gas station was just a few miles down the road- ironic. The rest of the way home was quiet again, but this time with the comfortable silence. They arrived, parking in their driveway, just a little past seven o’clock in the evening.
The second he put the car in park, the atmosphere shifted, almost as if they’d both put on masks, choosing to ignore, or rather, covering up that something clearly wasn’t okay.
Ed grabbed their suitcases, while Lorraine hurried to the front door, where little four-year-old Judy was patiently waiting for Mommy and Daddy already.
“Mommy!” Ed heard his daughter call out while he was walking up to the front door, excited to see his little girl. He pushed the door open a bit more and saw Lorraine holding Judy up. Her little head tucked into her mother’s chest, and snuggling.
He smiled at Lorraine’s mom and put down the suitcases. Before he knew it, Judy was in his arms, just as she had been in Lorraine’s a moment ago.
After saying goodbye to Georgiana, Ed noticed a few dirty dishes in the sink and washed them while Lorraine was putting Judy to bed.
“Another story! Please, Mommy,” Judy’s sweet little voice pleaded, while one of her hands was tangled up in her mother’s hair, and the other was playing with her face.
“Judy.. Mm, Mommy’s also tired..“ Lorraine mumbled in a sleepy tone, picking up Judy’s plush kitten and bringing it to her face. “Here, Kitty’ll keep you company.”
“No, Mommy!” Judy whined and moved to lie on top of Lorraine in her little bed. “Judy sleep here..” she mumbled, barely audible, into Lorraine.
Lorraine couldn’t help but giggle at that, as she rolled over from lying on her back to her side, shifting Judy with her. “We’ll spend all day together tomorrow, mkay?” Lorraine whispered in Judy’s ear in a soft, motherly voice. “I promise, honey,” she added.
When she saw Judy wasn’t answering, she decided to say, “.. and you can come wake me and Daddy, the second you wake up.. yeah?”
Judy thought about it for a bit but eventually gave in, nodding her little head, and accepting her plushie and cuddling it, instead of her mom. “I love you, Mama,” she said, as Lorraine was getting up from the little bed.
“You too, baby.. So much,” she leaned down again and gave her another big smooch on her forehead. “Daddy too?” asked Judy, with a bright smile.
“Daddy too, darling,” Lorraine said, giving Judy one last kiss, before tiptoeing out of her room after murmuring a quiet ‘Night night’.
Entering the hallway and quietly shutting Judy’s door, the house was silent- meaning Ed was already in their bedroom. She sighed and walked a few steps down until she reached their door.
Inside the room, Ed was waiting for her in their bed, reading a book he’d picked up from his nightstand. He raised his head when he saw her walk in and offered a small smile, “Hi.”
Lorraine looked at him for a short second and returned his smile. “Hi, I-I’m gonna go shower okay..?” she asked, though she didn’t really expect an answer.
“Need any help, or will you be alright?” He asked in return. It might’ve sounded lustful to someone, but they both knew what he really meant. He got nervous, letting her be alone, especially in the bathroom, after one of her little breakdowns.
It had happened too often that he’d found a new unexplained cut along her thigh or arm once she’d returned, and he didn’t want that to happen again. “No.. I’ll be okay, I promise,” she said quietly, a little embarrassed to need to make such promises at her grown age.
“If you need me, I’ll be right here,” he said, before getting back to his book. She walked over to the dresser, which sat across from their bed, and picked out a dusty pink nightgown that had a big bow on it- one of her favourites.
In the bathroom, all alone, it would be untrue to say her thoughts didn’t drift to that, but what’s important is that she didn’t act on it. She took a shower, ignored the razors in the sink drawer and brushed her teeth. Without thinking of the sharp silver razors.
Putting on her lotion and face cream, she finished her routine by sliding on the thin straps of her nightgown and tying the bow on it. As she opened the door back into their bedroom, steam followed her figure as she walked over to her side of the bed.
She saw his worried look as she slid under the covers beside him, and made his worries go away with two words. “I’m okay.”
He put his book down on the nightstand and reached for the lamp, when her voice stopped him from doing so. “N-no, I wanna see you..” her voice called out, gentle as ever.
He shifted to lie on his left hip, facing her. “I’m really glad you’re okay,” he said, a hand reaching out and tucking some hair behind her ear. “My pretty girl.”
She felt heat flowing to her cheeks as she blushed like a teenager. He always made sure she knew how loved she was and that he’d always be there for her. Little reassurances and compliments were just parts of it.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked. He didn’t want to push her or anything but wanted to give her the chance if she did want it. She simply shook her head and looked at him.
Her eyes momentarily travelled between his lips and back up to his eyes, where his gaze was on hers. Then again, down to his lips and before she knew it, they were sharing a kiss. She let her hands slip away to his head as she pulled her fingers through his hair.
After a minute or two, it became clear to Ed where this was about to head, so he pulled away. “H-honey.. maybe not tonight, okay? I.. I don’t want to hurt you,” he said gently, his face only inches away from hers.
She pulled back a bit after hearing that, returning her hands near her, away from his face, and lifting the leg she’d placed over his hip back down.
“N-no, honey, don’t do that, Lorraine.. I want to be close to you, just not like that.. I don’t wanna upset you again..” he trailed off, seeing her facial expression change, until she finally said something. “I’m sorry.”
I’m sorry- all she said was, I’m sorry. As if she’d done something wrong. Another mistake.
“No, please don’t be sorry.. you didn’t do anything wrong, love,” he cooed and gently pet her cheek with his palm, happy that she didn’t pull away. He helped guide her to his chest, where she lay down her head. He mumbled a bunch of ‘I love you’s and held her.
“Eddie?” her voice asked, that familiar shake back in it, like she was about to break again. Oh no. He pulled her closer before answering, “Mhm?”
“I’m really sorry about today- I- I’m really trying to change, you know..” she started, tears already streaming down her cheeks- too late to stop now. “And..and I know I shouldn’t have acted like that earlier, and.. now again, but I’m really trying I-“
“I know you are, and even if you weren’t. I..Love.. You..” he interrupted her, giving her a little kiss on her head between each word. “You’re perfect just the way you are, Rainie, and you never ever have to change a thing.”
She pulled back just enough to look at him and gave him the tightest possible hug. “Thank you,” he heard her mumble against his sleeping shirt, her head nearly lost underneath the blanket. He just let her be and cry it out, while he held her.
After some time, her head popped up from underneath the covers again. “Hi,” she said, and he chuckled- how could he not. “Hi angel.. you okay now?”
She nodded in response and snuggled against him like a tired cat. “‘m so tired..” she said as she settled in a comfy position, with her head on his shoulder and her hands and legs hugging his body.
“I know.. you can sleep in tomorrow, I’ll take care of Judy,” he said and heard her groan at the mention of Judy. “What? What is it?” he asked.
“Mm.. I told her she can come wake us up, whenever she wakes..” Lorraine said, groaning, and Ed laughed.
“Okay then.. get as much sleep as you can now, and first thing tomorrow we can all play together,” he teased, and she giggled, playfully smacking his chest.
“Goodnight, Eddie.. I love you.”
“To the moon and back, my girl.”