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Wednesday is sixteen when she has her first kiss.
There are years of uncertainty behind it—four to be exact—and so many repressed feelings that, by the time she befriends this boy named Tyler and she develops the slightest interest in him, she decides to go for it. Wednesday hopes that maybe then she’ll be able to move on from the one person who has wrapped herself around Wednesday’s cold heart like a creeping vine.
So yes, her first kiss is not with Enid and Wednesday mourns what could’ve been for about a minute before she decides to push it inside of a box with the rest of her feelings for her best friend and hide it deep in her subconscious.
Because the truth is, Enid’s never shown any interest in her that wasn’t purely platonic and Wednesday has nursed this crush since she was twelve, to the point that it has grown into a much bigger monster.
Although, there was one time, two years ago, when they went to Bianca’s birthday party and played Seven Minutes in Heaven that…
No.
It’s not worth it to dig up confusing moments from the past. Especially because that happened around the same time as Enid and Ajax started dating. The relationship has been on and off for years, with Enid crying in Wednesday’s arms and in her bed many a night because of the boy’s stupidity.
If Enid was her girlfriend she’d never take her for granted.
But those are the kind of thoughts that Wednesday can’t afford, which is what pushes her to kiss Tyler in the cafe where he works, even though she doesn’t even like him that much.
She goes home after, cursing herself, and her heart and the day that she met Enid at Camp Chippewa all those years ago.
But of course she retracts the last curse before she’s even crossed the threshold of her room. Because even if she’s only ever Enid’s best friend, she’ll still be happy to have her in her life.
Wednesday could fill notebooks with all the incomprehensible things that Enid makes her feel, the way her world blooms into color when she’s around, how her body reacts to her like there are spiders crawling under her skin and in her stomach, the fierceness of her protectiveness and the lengths Wednesday would go to keep her safe from harm.
It’s disgusting. Which is why Wednesday would never write it into any notebook.
Enid calls her that night and Wednesday doesn’t say anything about Tyler. She knows that she should be eager to see him, to talk about him, but she’s not. She couldn’t care less. She tried to find a substitute in him and failed miserably. So why would she tell Enid about it?
“So I asked them and they said yes,” Enid says through the phone.
“Fascinating.”
Enid sighs. “Are you even listening to me?”
The answer is negative so Wednesday stays silent. Enid sighs again, louder.
“I was saying that I invited Yoko and Divina to hang out at my place this Saturday and they said yes.”
“Have fun.”
“Shut up you dumdum, you’re coming too.”
“You haven’t asked me.”
“I literally did! And you hummed! So I took that as a yes!”
“Stop yelling.”
“Oh my god,” Enid groans. “What is up with you today? You’re so… weird.”
“I’m always weird.”
“Weirder than usual.”
Wednesday pauses to think for a moment. It isn’t Enid’s fault that Wednesday has a weakness that she can’t cure and that her plan today failed. “I was thinking about my novel. Apologies. Continue.”
Enid huffs. “Okay, so. You, Yoko and Divina are coming to my place on Saturday to eat pizza and hang out.”
“Am I an integral part of this plan?”
“Yes! As my best friend you’re obligated to come.” Enid pinches the bridge of her nose, Wednesday can picture her doing it. “What else would you do with your Saturday night? Brood in your room about the idiocy of the people at school? Wallow in the darkness of your thoughts?”
Wednesday feels herself flush at Enid’s provocation. “I don’t brood and wallow,” she grits between her teeth.
“Yes, you do. I’ve seen you do it. It’s cute for a bit but then it’s just boring.”
The flush intensifies and so does her ire. “I’m also not cute. You are talking nonsense.”
“Sure, I am.” Enid lets out a breathy laugh. “Whatever, just postpone the brooding for a day and come to my place, ‘kay?”
It’s a wonder how after all that teasing and ragebaiting, Wednesday still considers doing what Enid asks of her.
“Please? For me?” Enid asks in a small voice and god, how does she know that will work like a charm? Maybe because it has worked since they were fourteen.
“Fine,” she sighs. “But I’m not participating in gossiping or pillow fighting.”
Saturday evening finds them on the floor of Enid’s room, a pizza box open on the bed as Divina paints Enid’s nails. Wednesday stares at her own hands, recently painted black nails still drying. The only reason she let Enid do this is so she would hold her hands for five minutes, but this is of course a private thought that even she herself is trying to ignore.
Yoko drops a pizza crust into the box and dusts her hands off the floury residue. “What do you guys wanna do now?”
Enid hums, blowing softly on her nails to dry them.
“We could play a game,” Divina offers. “Truth or Dare?”
“Oh yeah, that’s fun. Let’s do that,” Yoko says.
“Sure,” Enid agrees.
They all look at the quiet girl in the room. Wednesday thinks to herself how she always ends up here, playing a game she doesn’t want to play for Enid’s benefit. “Explain the rules.”
“Well, we go around picking truth or dare, if you pick truth we ask a question and you have to answer truthfully—no cheating! Lying is not allowed,” Yoko explains.
“And dare?”
“We dare you to do something and you have to do it.”
“And if I refuse?” Wednesday asks dryly.
“Then you’re a chicken and we get teasing rights to call you a chicken all year long.”
Wednesday sits up straighter, squaring her shoulders. There’s no way she’s gonna let anyone call her that. “Fine, let’s begin.”
“Alright! Okay, I’ll start asking,” Yoko says. She looks around their little circle considering, but when her eyes stop on Divina, she smirks. Wednesday is not surprised by her choice, since they’ve been dating for about a year. “Babe, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“When did you first know you liked me?”
Divina looks down sheepishly. “I told you, when I was fifteen, at your Halloween party.”
“When you saw me in my vampire costume, yes, I remember. But I think it’s a lie. Tell the truth.”
Divina rolls her eyes, but the staring from the other occupants of the room puts some pressure on her. “Fine, it was when we were fourteen and we played that stupid Seven Minutes in Heaven game.”
“You kissed me on the cheek, rambled about your first kiss with a boy from your swimming team and how you thought it was so gross, and then when I tried to tell you about my first kiss with a girl I met in one of Father’s fundraisers, you kissed me on the mouth.”
Divina covers her face with her hands and Enid coos. “Aw, I didn’t know this! That’s so cute, you guys!”
“You were both there that night, right?” Yoko asks, looking at Enid and Wednesday.
Enid’s expression falters, the easy, adoring smile she had directed at her friends, stiffening into something wooden and fake. She glances at Wednesday, like she’s remembering their moment in the closet too. She shrugs at Yoko, says: “yeah”, like it meant nothing.
And Wednesday supposes it didn’t, for her. She, however, has been thinking about it for years, about the weakness that she showed then, about how eager she’d been for Enid to do something in that closet and how stupid to believe that Enid wanted her that way.
Thankfully, Divina interrupts her wallowing thoughts. “It still took us a year after that. I didn’t want to admit that I liked you.”
“Crazy, because, what’s not to like?” Yoko says casually.
“That,” Divina points. “Exactly that, you ass. I thought you were a player of the highest order.”
“All fake bravado,” Enid adds.
“Hey! You’re ganging up on me now?” Yoko shakes her head good-naturedly. “Your turn to ask, Div.”
“Okay… Wednesday, truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
“I dare you to… go downstairs and stare creepily at Enid’s parents from the hallway for five minutes.”
“Hey!” Enid complains, but Wednesday is already rising.
They follow her downstairs, huddled at the last steps of the stairs while Wednesday stands outside the living room, bathed in shadows, and stares.
Minutes pass and the girl doesn’t move, she doesn’t even blink.
There’s a gasp.
“Goodness! Wednesday, I didn’t see you there.” Esther says. The answer is just silence. “Do you need something?”
Still no answer. Divina and Yoko stifle her giggles.
“You okay kiddo?” Murray asks.
Wednesday doesn’t even move an inch.
“Oh, god, Murray, what is wrong with her?” Esther whispers.
“Wednesday…? Blink if—if you need help,” Murray stutters.
“Get the—get the phone.”
“But it’s closer to her.”
“Murray, be a man and get the phone!”
“I…”
Around the mark of five minutes, Wednesday blinks. “Excuse me, Mr. And Mrs Sinclair, I have forgotten what I came down for. Have a good night.”
And then she spins around and walks to the stairs. The girls run upstairs, holding in their laughter until they're back in the room, where they explode into giggles.
“Oh my god, they’re gonna have nightmares for a week,” Yoko wheezes.
“You guys, that wasn’t funny! They’re gonna think my best friend’s possessed!” Enid whines, but her eyes are squinted with amusement too.
It takes a while for the laughter to die down, and even Wednesday cracks a smile or two, always delighted to make people uncomfortable.
“Your turn, Wednesday,” Divina says.
“Tanaka, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Did you cheat in our last chemistry exam?”
“The one she got a better grade than you on?” Enid asks in shock.
“The same one.”
“Well,” Yoko laughs nervously. “Yes. But I had a good reason!”
The game continues for several rounds with semi-uncomfortable truths and hilarious dares thrown across the circle. After a while, it goes back to Yoko’s turn, who looks at Wednesday and asks: “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
“Finally! Okay, what should we ask our resident repressed goth?” Yoko wonders. Wednesday makes a face at that epithet, but she gets distracted by Enid’s giggle. “Ooh, I got it. Who was your first kiss?”
“She hasn’t had one,” Enid replies immediately.
“How would you know?” Yoko asks.
Enid shrugs. “She tells me everything.”
“Well, Wednesday?”
Wednesday grinds her teeth, her eyes snapping from Yoko’s taunting ones to Enid’s, which looked pretty self-assured a moment ago but are now clouding with doubt.
But Wednesday Addams doesn’t back down from a challenge. She won't be called a chicken or a liar. “It was Tyler Galpin.”
“What?!” Enid yelps.
“Galpin? The Sheriff's son?” Divina asks.
“Yes.”
“Wh—how? When? Why?” Enid rapid fires.
“It was a week ago, as he was closing up at the Weathervane.” Wednesday’s eyes don’t leave Enid’s as she speaks. “I did it because I felt like it. As for the how, I’m assuming you know, since you’ve done it with Ajax many times.”
There’s a tense silence that settles upon the room. Yoko’s eyes snap between them in suspicion.
“Oh…kay, it’d be Wednesday’s turn now,” she says, trying to get them back on track.
“Enid, truth or dare?” The goth asks instantly.
“Truth.”
“Have you and Ajax had sex?”
“No!” She cries. “No. What? Of course not.”
“Woah, chill. It’s not that far-fetched of a question. He’s been your boyfriend for two years,” Yoko says.
“On and off,” Enid corrects. Then, she looks down, fiddling with the hem of her sweater and mumbles: “And we broke up on Thursday.”
“As scheduled. You should be taking him back by the end of the month,” Wednesday deadpans.
Enid looks up offended. “I won’t. FYI it’s final this time. I’m done with him.”
Wednesday doesn’t reply to that, even though she feels her insides churning with many emotions, ranging from incredulity, to jealousy, to hope. Divina and Yoko keep staring between them like they know something is up but they can’t figure out what.
“Enid, go,” Divina says.
Enid huffs, trying to let the irritation towards Wednesday go. “Div, truth or dare?”
“Uh, dare.”
“I dare you to… I don’t know, kiss Yoko.”
Divina raises an eyebrow. “Yoko, my girlfriend?”
“Whatever!” Enid says. “I don’t have a better dare.”
Divina leans forward, grabbing the front of Yoko’s hoodie and pulling her in roughly. The kiss is not chaste and it has Yoko whimpering slightly at the assault. Wednesday doesn’t care about it, still staring at Enid over their heads. But Enid looks away from it, a blush kissing her cheeks.
Divina shoves Yoko back, who falls back against the side of the bed in a sort of daze.
“Okay, my turn,” Divina says. “Wednesday, truth or dare?
“Truth.”
“Have you ever liked a girl? Like, romantically.”
“Dare.”
“Hey, that’s not allowed!” Enid says.
Divina rolls her eyes. “Fine, I dare you to… take out your braids.”
Wednesday hesitates. She likes the braids because the style is neat, symmetrical, and keeps her hair out of her way. No one ever sees her with her hair down. In fact, Enid is the only person apart from her family who has ever seen it unbraided. The thought of doing it now makes her skin crawl, but a dare is a dare.
She reaches for the first braid and begins to undo it, slowly working her way through the strands until they fall loose over her chest. She repeats the process with the other, resisting the urge to gather her hair as soon as she’s done.
“Woah,” Yoko says, staring at Wednesday’s long, silky locks.
“You have gorgeous hair, Wednesday,” Divina adds, stunned.
“I tell her all the time,” Enid sighs, looking at her with a strange expression.
Wednesday feels very uncomfortable under the mesmerized gaze of her friends, so she quickly starts redoing her braids.
“Yoko,” is all she says as her fingers weave through her hair.
“Truth.”
“Is it true your father almost went to jail?”
“Wednesday!” Enid cries, incredulous.
“It’s fine, I don’t care.” Yoko waves at Enid. “Yeah, he almost did. I don’t know the sketchy stuff he did with his Fundraiser, but I think that spooked him so bad he got his shit together.”
Wednesday nods, appreciating her candor. She tightens the second braid and secures it with a hair tie.
“Enid, truth or dare?” Yoko asks.
“Um… let’s do dare.”
A smile grows on Yoko’s face, slow and almost predatory. “I dare you to kiss Wednesday.”
Enid sits up in alarm, her back ramrod straight and flushing from her neck to her ears. “Wha—why?”
Yoko shrugs. “You made Divina kiss me, and I’m not gonna dare you to kiss either of us.”
Enid’s eyes snap from one person to another, licks her lips and blurts out: “Truth.”
Yoko scoffs as Divina says: “You guys realize that’s cheating, right?”
“Whatever,” Yoko drawls. “Truth then. Why did you break up with Ajax for real this time?”
“He… I just didn’t see him like that anymore.” Enid shrugs. “We’re better off as friends.”
“Very mature. Boring, but mature,” Yoko deadpans.
There’s a couple more rounds after that, a couple more truths and dares thrown around, but soon it starts to approach midnight. Divina claims she doesn’t want to be driving too late, so the couple says their goodbyes downstairs and leaves Enid and Wednesday alone in the silence of the house.
“Are you staying the night?” Enid’s voice is quiet in the darkness of her entryway.
“I told my parents I would,” Wednesday confirms. However, she now doubts if that’s okay or if Enid’s gonna want her here after the tension and uncomfortable moments of the night.
But Enid just says: “Cool,” and guides her back to her room.
The blonde picks up their trash in silence. She opens the window to let the breeze in and looks back at Wednesday a little unsure.
“Do you wanna sit on the roof for a bit?”
They used to do this a lot when Enid first moved to New Jersey. The blonde was so excited to have a roof with a shallow slope right outside her window that she used to sit there almost every night looking at the moon. Wednesday loved being out there with her; it felt like they were the only two people in the world.
And then Enid started dating Ajax and the girl stopped having as much time for her best friend as she used to.
Wednesday looks at Enid and considers the offer with her hands clenching at her sides.
She nods.
They sit pressed together, the chilly February air ruffling Enid’s hair. The waning moon bathes them in a faint white light and the blonde’s eyes drift to it as if pulled by a magnetic force. And Wednesday… well, her eyes are pulled to Enid like she’s the sun and Wednesday’s just a withering flower.
“You cheated at Truth or Dare,” Enid says after a long silence. “I didn’t know that was even possible.”
“I simply chose the other challenge. I still fulfilled it.”
“Yeah, but you never answered the first question.”
Wednesday lets out a sharp sigh. “Do you want me to?”
Enid turns to her. “Do you—will you?”
“It’s only fair. Since I cheated.”
Enid nods, a little stunned.
“I have liked a girl romantically before, as Divina put it.” Wednesday waits for Enid to say something, but she stays quiet. “I don’t exclusively like one gender. In fact, gender is of no relevance to me.”
“Oh. Cool,” Enid says dumbly. “I mean, that’s fine.”
Wednesday nods, then looks away, feeling an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach. Vulnerability—how unfortunate and disgusting. It’s not even about coming out, because she very much doesn’t care about that. It’s about showing Enid a part of herself that she could reject, a part of her that brings Enid closer to understanding Wednesday’s real feelings for her.
“Hey,” Enid says softly, taking her hand and making Wednesday look back at her. “Thank you for telling me. That’s really awesome.”
Wednesday squeezes her fingers in response and looks out into the night.
They stay like that for another long minute. The moment is peaceful, but there’s an energy around Enid that isn’t.
“So, I guess,” she starts with a nervous chuckle. “I kinda cheated too.”
“I understood why you did it. Yoko was out of line.”
“Oh, she wasn’t—it’s not that big of a deal.”
Wednesday cocks an eyebrow. “It isn’t?”
“No, I mean, we could totally do it. And like, it wouldn’t mean anything.” Enid waves her free hand around, the other still holding Wednesday’s in a vice grip. “We’d still be best friends and I… could show you that I really am okay with you—all of you! That I love you—as like, your best friend. And that doesn’t change. Ever.”
Wednesday doesn’t remember the last time she felt so speechless.
“And I kinda owe you, since you answered the question that you dodged before.” Enid bites her lip in a nervous tick. “And I don’t wanna be the only chicken who cheated.”
“Okay,” is all Wednesday manages to say.
“Right, okay.” Enid nods, sitting up straighter and turning to her.
Wednesday can only watch, wide-eyed.
Enid laughs nervously, shyly inching closer to Wednesday’s face. The goth starts to lean in too, her eyelids growing heavy and her heart beating like a drum. This moment feels huge, but Wednesday isn’t nervous. Instead, she feels incredulous and reverent, like she’s been entrusted with something precious, like she’s holding a glass heart in the palms of her hands that could break with the slightest misstep.
Enid’s nervous, breathy giggles are silenced the moment their lips touch.
At first, it’s just a gentle, chaste kiss, a simple press of their mouths, a warm brush of slightly chapped lips and soft breaths on their faces. But it’s enough to make Wednesday feel like she’s been electrocuted back to life like some sort of Frankenstein monster, as if she had been dead up until this moment in time.
And then, Enid moves her lips. It’s subtle and tentative, but it’s enough for Wednesday to respond, tilting her head and trapping Enid’s bottom lip between her own.
The blonde’s fingers tighten around Wednesday’s so hard, the goth fears she might break them.
But Wednesday ignores the pain as her mind, foggy and filled with chemicals, tells her to just keep going, to show Enid the depths of her feelings.
As Wednesday deepens the kiss, Enid lets out the faintest whimper and then breaks away quickly. She doesn’t go far, however, resting her forehead on Wednesday’s as she lets out yet another breathy laugh.
“Okay, um… hah.” Enid squeezes her eyes shut tightly for a second and then finally leans back. “See? That wasn’t like, a big deal at all.”
Wednesday watches her unblinking, trying to get her breathing under control.
“You’re, uh… not bad at that!” Enid jokes. It falls flat. “Probably will make a girl very happy—or guy! Which is totally cool.”
The blonde looks off into the distance, licking her lips and avoiding Wednesday’s eyes. What she’s saying is comforting and friendly, but her demeanor is definitely strange. Wednesday could try to make sense of it if she wasn’t so busy internally struggling with the torrent of feelings those three seconds of contact have awakened in her.
If her feelings for Enid were almost unmanageable before, she has no idea how she’ll handle them now.
“Anyway, we’re even now. No cheating.”
“Yes,” Wednesday husks.
“We should probably get ready for bed, right?”
“Yes.”
Enid starts to get up, dusting the dirt of her pants. “Do you need pajamas?”
“Yes.”
Enid chuckles. “You’re just saying ‘yes’ to everything now? How unlike you.”
That snaps Wednesday out of her spell. “Would you rather I was negative?”
“It would make me feel right at home,” Enid teases as she slips through the window.
Wednesday scoffs, getting to her feet and into the house. They go through their night-time routine and Enid gives Wednesday the designated clothes and toothbrush that she keeps for her, after the many nights she’s slept in her room.
They get under the covers, laying side by side in Enid’s big bed. Wednesday notices how it used to feel bigger but now she can feel the warmth of Enid’s body and hear her breathing as if she’s snuggled up to her.
“Night, Wednesday.”
“Good night, Enid.”
As Enid’s breathing gets slower, Wednesday stays awake. She thinks back to the events that transpired tonight and the kiss on the roof. And she thinks of her first kiss in a cafe and the numbness she felt afterward.
And then she decides this is going to be her first real kiss. Her actual first. Tonight, on the roof, with Enid.
And no one can take that away from her.