Work Text:
There was a note by the lockers.
Congratulations! You have all been entered into a department wide raffle for Penguins tickets as a thank you for all your hard work! Dr. Robby will come find you after the drawing at noon and the start of the night shift.
Mel wasn't necessarily a hockey person. It was loud, it was intense, and it was vicious. All in all, a little more rigorous than she liked her sports to be. Out of everyone in the department…well, the odds of her ending up with a ticket were slim. She didn't even know if she would go if she won. She might give it away. Plus there was the added stress of not knowing who else is going. No, thank you. Imagine her surprise when Robby pulled her aside.
"You won the dayshift ticket, Mel." Robby looked at her. "The ticket should transfer to your phone no problem, we'll do that later." He wasn't sure why the higher-ups had decided this was the way to reward them, rather than a bonus or hiring more staff or security. But this was what they'd decided to do, so he'd done it and pulled a name out of the hat.
"Who won the other ticket?" Mel's curiosity was killing her. It might decide if she went or not, because going to a hockey game by herself was really intimidating. She didn't know a thing about the game or the team and already felt like an imposter.
"That's the night shift drawing, I haven't done it yet. You should really go, Mel. Promise me you'll go." Robby knew her by now, and knew she might not go to the game without encouragement. But the thing is, this was an experience that she might well like once she got there.
"I promise, Robby. I'll go." Crap. Okay. But at least it was going to be a learning experience, right? That was always the plus. And she could always go home.
—
Mel arrived early as she usually did to an event, stopping at the pro shop long enough to pick up a baseball cap so she'd blend in a bit more. Right now she was wearing a black shirt and a yellow scarf; the best she could do in terms of colors. Buying the hat was practical; it would remind her of the game, it gave her an item of clothing she didn't have and filled a need (she didn't actually own a hat), and it helped her look like she belonged.
She went through security with her tiny wristlet, which seemed unfair given that women had more to carry than men and no pockets, and beeped her mobile ticket and found her seat without much trouble. Right in the front of the lower lodge on the diagonal from the goal the Penguins would be attacking. Robby hadn't lied. These were not cheap seats like she'd expected, despite what Robby had said. Mel was glad she'd bought the hat because now she would truly integrate with the crowd. The resident made a lap or two of the area looking at food and other small things before heading back to her seat.
There were no words for the surprise in her body when Jack Abbot sat next to her in an exceptionally faded hockey sweater with 'Francis' on the back of it across the shoulders. His gray curls were all over the place and he took up space like he belonged there, and like he'd done this before.
"King." Jack leaned back against his seat, putting his beer into the holder. His ridiculously expensive, no-cash beer but it was part of the experience. At some point in the first intermission he'd grab some food. He was a little surprised that the other winner was Mel, this didn't seem like her vibe but he'd be glad to get to know her outside the hospital.
"Doctor Abbot. I didn't know you'd be here, too." Mel was uncomfortable sitting next to one of her bosses for a game she'd promised Robby she'd go to.
"Make that two of us. But you can just call me Jack right now, since we're not in the hospital. Ever been to a game before?" He was still lounging, cracking open his beer as he cast a glance to the somewhat empty arena around them.
"Barely even seen one." The resident shook her head. "I don't even watch it on tv. Any tips?" The blonde sounded almost hopeful.
"Well, it's fast. Very fast. You're best off trying to follow the players and not the puck. I can explain things as they come up." Minor advice and he wouldn't mind helping her at all. "You're here pretty early." Jack noticed the hat; must be a new acquisition, it looked brand new and not broken in or worn at all. Black with a Penguins logo and "Penguins" embroidered under it. Simple, very Mel. It was an adorable look on her with that braid and those glasses. Seeing her in the merchandise of his favorite team could prove to be a problem for him if she was truly as clever as he thought.
"So are you. I like being able to take in my bearings with less people around." She gestured vaguely. "I've already made my pass of the arena and know where everything is. That goes a very long way for me, and the earlier I get here the easier it is for me to go through the place. You?" Mel knew why she was there before everyone else, she hadn't expected the other winner to be early, too.
"I like watching warmups. I try and keep up with the games when I can, usually the daytime ones on the weekends if I can stay awake. I'll keep an eye on the score at work best I can. I never actually get to go to a game so this is a nice treat for me." Jack was watching as the players came onto the ice in their warmup sweaters, starting to stretch before beginning their drills. "It'll be fun, Mel. You'll get used to it." There was plenty of time, especially as the occasional puck hit the glass. She flinched. "Yeah, they'll crash into this, too, so brace yourself."
"You seem to know all the tricks, Jack. Any other advice?" Mel didn't mind asking, especially when she was out of her depth. It was a learning experience like any other, and it wasn't like Jack hadn't taught her things before. What was one more thing, even if it was outside of the hospital?
"Just let yourself go. You'll see me look like an idiot, I can promise that. The atmosphere is an incredible place to be. The Capitals are a good team, it'll be a good game." Jack was lounging with his beer until the man next to him showed up, forcing him to sit up all the the way which put him that much closer to Mel.
—
The crowd began to filter in and the noise around them grew. Eventually the men left the ice to get into regular uniforms and Mel was watching people take photos next to the ice right in front of where she was sitting, which was a new experience for her. This entire night was new experiences and like Jack said she might as well just go along for the ride. The national anthem, puck drop.
She had no idea what was going on. Men were crashing into boards, racing up and down the ice, and it looked like absolute chaos to her. Mel must have looked as bewildered as she felt because Jack leaned in and began explaining things to her as they happened. Normally Mel would be offended by this but Jack wasn't being a show-off, he wasn't being a know-it-all or a 'well actually' man. He was just…teaching.
Mel was trying not to get distracted by how close the attending was as he leaned in to be heard, how beautiful his eyes were as they went between her and the rink, and how nice he smelled. How much she wanted to run a hand through his hair. But Jack was here and helping her, and the game was starting to make sense through the first period. Icing, tripping, slashing, cross checking, roughing. Minor penalties, major penalties. These were all things he explained to her as they happened in the game so that she wasn't left behind on a call. Mel was easing into the game and picking things up as Jack kept explaining them. It was definitely more fun when she knew what was going on. It didn't take long before she was completely enveloped in the game and the atmosphere, taking Jack's advice and just letting herself go and simply reveling in the experience. Nobody here knew who she was, nobody would judge her because they were all doing the same thing.
Jack was distracted from the game and it wasn't entirely a bad thing; he hadn't had this much prolonged contact with someone outside of work or therapy in a very long time. And teaching Mel about hockey didn't quite feel like being in the hospital, but it was incredibly satisfying to see her slowly get into the game. She jumped the first time someone had been checked into the boards, but she'd also straightened up to catch a look at the first sign of dropped gloves, craning her neck to see the fight. It was like he was watching hockey for the first time again, this time through her eyes. It was amazing. Even the intermissions were different with Mel peppering him with increasingly complicated questions about the game even as they went for food. She was picking up the game with ease, but he shouldn't have been surprised. She was smart as hell.
The game itself was crazy, the Caps and the Penguins had matched each other goal for goal and penalty for penalty. Tied, four-four. Jack got to explain the rules of overtime and Mel was out of her seat the entire time, cheering and gasping with the rest of the crowd. But nothing came out of overtime and Mel sat back down.
"Now what?" She wasn't aware that in her enthusiasm Mel was well into his personal space with a free and open smile on her face.
"Something called a shootout." Jack got to explain this, too, taking pleasure in teaching her something else, something that wasn't medicine. He found she was just as eager to learn outside of the hospital as she was inside of it, and it intrigued him. Smart and curious women had always been one of his downfalls; if she could keep up with him he was interested and Mel could definitely keep up with him.
The shootout began.
Miss from the Caps.
Miss from the Pens.
A second miss from both teams.
A third miss from the Capitals.
The entire arena was on the edge of their seats. This shot would determine the little game that remained. Sudden death shootout or a win? The crowd leaned forward and the entire arena held its collective breath.
Goal.
The place exploded and even Jack leapt to his feet, going so far as to reach over and hug her. There was a pause before she gleefully hugged him back without really even thinking about it. At least she hadn't until she looked up to find him watching her. Jack guiltily let her go after a moment but Mel's arms took a second to drop from his waist.
"Guess it's time to go." Mel was looking towards the door. People were beginning to file out of the arena. "I should get going too, public transit is going to be slammed." She took a few steps before Jack snagged her wrist.
"I drove. Let me drive you home, Mel. It'll take less time, even with traffic." It was a kind thing to do, even if he wasn't sure why he was offering. There wasn't exactly anything he could hope for but it didn't stop him from offering. Mel was so beautiful in Penguin's colors; they looked so good on her. He wondered idly what she'd look like in his hockey sweater. He was half-tempted to give it to her as a momento. He had others…this was just his favorite and one of the oldest ones he owned.
"Are you sure? I'm pretty far from here. It'll lengthen your night." It would save her a ton of time. She'd get home at a reasonable hour. More or less.
"Yeah, I offered. I don't mind driving." And that wasn't a lie. Most people had filed out. "C'mon, let's go." He was tempted to sling an arm around her but settled for walking close enough that their hands occasionally brushed together. Jack went around to open the door of his truck and offer her a hand up. He didn't have running boards and it could be a big step for shorter people, not that Jack was all that tall of a man himself.
—
Mel lived clear across the city from the arena and it would have taken her ages to get home and she did appreciate the ride. Jack was such a gentleman; he opened her door and even helped her up. Frankly she didn't need the help but she accepted it, trying to ignore the electricity that ran through her skin at his touch. This was the last thing she needed. A crush on her attending was the literal last thing she needed. She was still working under him when she pulled a double or swapped a shift around. Mel had never quite noticed him before but she was absolutely conscious of him now. How Jack's eyes shifted colors, the way that sweater sat across his shoulders and was just loose enough that she wondered what exactly he looked like under it (even when his scrubs gave her a better idea). He looked good in that sweater, even as battered as it was. She wondered how old it was. Mel found herself in a battle of wills for the thirty seconds between when Jack closed her door and opened his own. No, she would not recognize how hot her attending was. Nope. It was inappropriate.
"What'd you think? About the game." Jack pulled his truck into the line waiting to leave the garage, glancing over at her. The line to get out wasn't too bad.
"It was more fun than I expected, honestly. And that's because you were helping me, so thank you for that. It definitely made the experience better." Mel settled back into the seat and the semi-darkness, feeling herself starting to come down from the adrenaline a bit.
"Good, I'm glad it helped. And I'm glad you enjoyed it. It looked like you had fun. I know I did. I always do." Jack felt a little warm and fuzzy that he was able to help her enjoy the game itself. He loved hockey.
"I haven't had fun like this in forever, usually I do whatever Becca wants to do." Mel was staring out the window, but took a moment to take off her hat. She'd truly had fun, and it was because of Jack explaining things as they went. She knew he was a good teacher in the hospital and now knew he was a great teacher outside the hospital as well. It was dangerous information because Mel had a thing for smart and educated men and she wondered what else Jack could teach her.
"That's your sister, right?" Jack had been paying attention and it seemed like Mel's sister was the center of her world.
The truck finally exited the garage, and Mel told him where she lived. Jack had been living here in Pittsburgh long enough that he didn't need GPS to get there. The vehicle pulled forward and onto the actual street and the pair began their trek across the city in their quest to get Mel home from the game, continuing their conversation without a break.
"Yeah, and she's got special needs and is in a facility here while I do my residency. It's hard being alone, I barely know what to do with myself. When she visits me we kind of do whatever she wants and I'm usually too tired after work to do anything." Maybe now Mel would start watching hockey. It seemed like a fun hobby to get into.
"That can't be easy." The man kept glancing over her as the street lights flickered along her face, casting shadows from the brim of her cap as they drove. It was easy to glance at her and he occasionally caught her looking at him.
"I mean, I've been doing it a long time. Since undergrad, actually. I had an aide to help but it was pretty much all about Becca. I just want her to be happy, you know? That's all I ever want and I always worry she isn't." Becca always came first because she was all that Mel had left in this world. There wasn't a single thing more important to her than Becca was.
"She probably is happy, if it's as good of a place as you think it is. She's probably having a blast." Jack wasn't sure why he was trying to reassure her on this. "I feel like you'd know if she was unhappy there." He hated hearing that doubt in her voice.
"I know. She'd tell me. It still makes me nervous, we've never been apart for this long since I started taking care of her." Mel was looking over at him from time to time and was glad the darkness hid her blush when she caught him looking at her.
"So what do you do for fun, Mel?" Jack wanted to know more about her and wanted those answers as the pavement passed under his tires.
"Oh, I watch history lectures and I study. Sometimes I read." It was really all she had time for.
"Studying doesn't count as fun." Abbot raised a brow at her at a stop light. "Not in million years. C'mon, Mel. Work with me." He made a vague gesture with his hand. "Actual hobbies, actual fun."
"Um…I like going to the Renaissance Faire and history reenactments. Museums can be fun but it's been a long time since I've been to a museum. I also really love aquariums." She was definitely blushing now but the hat helped hide it. Mel wasn't sure why he was so interested in her. She was mousy little Mel, the weird one out. What could he see in her? Maybe he was just being polite? She misread signals all the time. What if she was misreading this one?
—
She hadn't been kidding when she'd said her life had essentially revolved around her sister. Jack was of two minds here. It was a wonderful thing that she was doing, taking care of Becca like she did, but she was also sacrificing herself to do it. Jack didn't think it was healthy for her to not participate in her own hobbies, and he thought it was criminal she didn't have a ton of time to just exist without things to do or expectations to meet (but that was just residency). Mel put so much pressure on herself that it was crushing her, she just didn't see it.
"There's no shame in doing things for yourself, Mel. It doesn't make you selfish. It doesn't mean you don't love her." Abbot's voice was quiet in the depths of the night, cautious but kind. "But you need to take care of you as much as you take care of her. It's the only way forward." Jack didn't want to go into why or how he knew; his wife's passing from cancer had taken a deep toll on him but it had taught him a lot. Such as he was stronger than he thought he was, and that he also had to take care of himself to be able to take care of her. Him burning out wouldn't have helped either him or his wife at all. And so he'd taken care of himself, taken the time to still be Jack as long as he'd been able to have that luxury. That meant going to work, it meant watching the occasional hockey game on tv. It meant cooking for more than an obligation. It meant going at his own pace for a little while. "Trust me on this."
Mel wanted to ask how he knew about caretaker burnout because she certainly did.
"I know about burnout but there's only so much time during the night to do things, and when I'm off, Becca's usually with me." The sodium street lights briefly lit up her face as the car passed them. "I'm just so tired when I get home that all I can do is watch a lecture while I eat. I know the others are the same way. Watch something and crash."
"I am, too." Jack's lips twisted into a bit of a smile. "It's the nature of the job. We care so much and get so much done during the shift that all we wanna do is collapse the second we get home." Another glance at a stop light. God, she was beautiful and she had no idea. "It's normal."
"It feels like I'll never get used to it, like my endurance from med school is just gone." Mel glanced over and ended up catching his eyes entirely by accident. She was drowning in them and was glad he had to break the contact to drive. She couldn't break free from his gaze if she tried and she hated eye contact more than anything.
"Nah, that's just normal, Mel. We're all like that, I promise." Jack shrugged as best as he could with a hand on the wheel. Exhaustion was part of the deal with the ED.
"Even you?" Mel was surprised.
"Especially me." He was so tired of running things at the end of the morning that it was all he could do not to collapse into bed the second he got home. His crutches were downstairs because the first thing he did was take off his leg. He put it back on for the stairs to bed because that was easier but taking that off was his first order of business. Everything else came after that, even feeding himself was second-best. His wife had once jokingly made the comparison to her shedding her bra the instant she was through the door.
Mel paused to consider this. For once she wasn't the odd one out. Even Jack Abbot, the infamous Jack who ran on lithium batteries and never faltered was utterly drained at the end of his day. She wasn't alone in that. It made her feel a little better about it.
"How do you recover?" It was an honest question and the resident hoped for an honest answer because she was still trying to figure it out. Some days felt better than others. There were days where she felt fine at the end of the day and then there were days where it was all she could do just to get home.
"Slowly. Let my leg adjust to being out of the prosthesis, eat some leftovers or a meal prep. I catch some of the games on my nights off, if I can." Jack was a hockey guy. Football was great but hockey had something special about it and his heart sang when he watched it. "But I also just catch whatever happens to be on, too. Sometimes it's Animal Planet or something like that. Just gotta get the hospital out of my head." They all needed that. Jack hit a turn signal and the clicking sound filled the truck. "Then I crash pretty hard for the day before getting up and doing it again."
Silence filled the cab. Abbot wasn't going to let that stand.
"What do you read?" Jack wasn't much of a reader but his wife had been, consuming anything she could get her hands on. "Do you have a genre you like?"
"History, probably, or fantasy. There's so much more than that, to be honest. It's a wider range than it sounds." There were so many genres and subgenres that she read. "It's hard to pick authors, honestly. People ask who is my favorite and I can never pick one. I read everyone from N.K. Jemisin to Robin Hobb to Seanen McGuire." Mel wouldn't mention that she read romance and romantasy as much as anything else because Jack didn't need to know that particular fact about her. He wouldn't know unless he saw her bookshelves. "Lots of indie authors I find at the Ren Faires, and at my small bookstore. I also branch out into people like Bill Bryson and Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. Some contemporary poets."
"Sounds varied." And it was varied. Jack had no idea who some of those people were. He wasn't the most well read man on the planet but he'd gone through undergrad like everyone else. He recognized Plath from a class or two, at least.
"It kind of is. My bookshelves have no rhyme or reason to them but lots of Seanen McGuire. One of the series I read from her is almost at book twenty, we're waiting on the release." It was a great series and Mel never wanted it to end and her enthusiasm came through in her voice. "And that's just one of her series. And that doesn't count her pennames."
"Holy shit, that's a long series." Jack was thoroughly impressed and he had a smile on his face as he looked at her. "I'm impressed, Mel. Keeping up on all that while doing med school and residency isn't an easy thing. Not sure I'd be able to keep twenty books straight in my head. I'd lose the plot somewhere along book five."
Mel flushed a little at the praise and directed him down a side street as they began enter her neighborhood. Jack found a parking spot about two blocks away from her building and hopped out of the truck, coming around and opening her door and offering a hand before she could even get her seatbelt undone and her hat back on her head. She took his offer of a hand down and paused in the chill of the night, standing hand in hand. The pair simply looked at each other, truly looking each other for the first time out of the hospital, away from the arena, and alone.
"C'mon. Let's get you back." Jack let go of her hand with a pang of regret, following her as she began to head in the direction of her building.
"You don't need to walk me back, Jack. It's alright." Mel wasn't entirely surprised when he was close enough for their fingers to brush and neither one of them moved apart, allowing the quiet contact to happen without saying a word. Jack had been so incredibly kind to her tonight that she was astounded. He didn't need to drop her off. He hadn't needed to open her door, or help her in and out of his truck. He didn't need to walk her home. He didn't need to be close enough for the occasional contact. But he was. Maybe she wasn't misreading signals after all.
"I kind of do, Mel. It's just how I am. I like knowing people are safe. Call it a quirk." Jack shrugged slightly before reaching out just a little to brush her hand with his. His voice lowered as they approached her building, pausing outside the brick structure. "I had more fun tonight than I've had in a long time, Mel. And it was entirely because of you." Jack would be lying if he said he didn't want to kiss her. He wanted to take off her hat and kiss her thoroughly and he wasn't even sure why.
He didn't register that he'd taken a step forward, or that she hadn't moved back.
"You're the only reason I had fun at all, Jack. I would have been so lost without you and gone home early and ended up on a bus before walking home." Mel offered up a little smile and a blush that Abbot would treasure. "You made this fun for me, the only reason I went was because I promised Robby I would." The resident felt him reach out and cautiously take her hand.
She didn't drop it.
Jack took another step forward and closed the distance between them, reaching up to take her cap off before he leaned down and kissed her. He would never be able to say why he'd done it or what signals he'd read from her, but this was the first time he'd kissed a woman since he'd lost his wife. He probably should have asked.
—
Things were getting dangerous. He'd nearly taken her hand on the walk, and had taken her hand when they'd stopped. Mel had this weird, fluttery little feeling in her stomach as he took a step, then another, and her heart leapt when he took off her hat. Could this lead to a kiss?
The answer was yes, and Mel found herself kissing him back and closing the distance with her body pressing against his, reaching up to run a hand through his curls as she did. Jack had dropped her hand and buried that hand in her hair. He kissed her like she was everything, a central point in the universe that everything revolved around. Mel had never been kissed like that in her life, like she mattered. Like he wanted her. At some point the two of them gently separated but neither of them stepped back, leaving them both in the same space and Jack still holding her hat as his arms circled her waist.
"Jack?" Mel's voice was filled with soft confusion. "What was that?"
"I think I like you, Mel." Jack's voice was pensive. "Which is complicated." For a thousand reasons. "But I'm sorry if I crossed a line. I just thought-" He didn't have a chance to finish the sentence before she kissed him again, just long enough to shut him up.
"You thought right." Mel looked down at her sneakers. "It's just been a long time since anyone has been interested in me, Jack, and I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. And this…this becomes a work thing. Are you okay with that? And why me?"
"It's been a long time since I've been interested in anyone, Mel. I think I'm okay with it at work as long as we leave it at the door. You don't usually pull a double, and it shouldn't be a problem for me if you do." This time he did take a step back to catch her gaze. "I like you because you're smart, Mel. You're smart, you're kind with a huge heart, and it helps that I think you're pretty. That's why. It's because I see you, Mel, outside of being a doctor. Tonight did that." Jack saw what happened when she was being a regular twenty-something. Not a doctor, not a caretaker, just a girl at a game losing her mind at a goal.
She'd never been more beautiful to him than that moment; utterly uncaring about the world around her, celebrating the win. Jack reached down for another kiss and found her seeking one in return.
"Thank you, Jack. For seeing me." Nobody had seen her like this for a very long time. They saw the doctor, the competence, the caretaker, the everything…everything but the regular woman sitting alone on the couch. They didn't see the history nerd or the fantasy aficionado, they didn't see her at all. They saw an idea of her. But Jack saw through the illusion and saw her.
"Thank the Penguins." Jack smiled at her and enveloped her fully in a hug before cheekily putting the cap back on her head, kissing the top of it. "I know I will."