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Noli had heard about what had happened to Builderman. He had in fact seen the aftermath the next time he was in a round against the man, leaving him staring for a moment at the spanning scar. Noli had found himself abruptly grateful that his own stint of being sent feral had been much kinder than all the others, leaving him only with an easily coverable scar on his arm that he had later discovered was from Jane’s axe going right through said arm. That explained why his arm had hurt so much when he became aware again.
Noli had been prepared to simply set that knowledge on the shelf and not use it. At this point, he wanted to adopt the method of laying low. Not angering The Spectre, not doing anything that could cause it to cause any more problems. He thought everyone would agree to the matter, but there was…an interesting hitch in his plan–1x1x1x1.
He was…shocked at how openly angry 1x was at what The Spectre had done to Builder. She said it was because she begrudgingly had respect for Builder, and doing that was blatant disregard for his power.
Noli, however, could easily see it was something else. Everyone could. 1x tried to disown herself, but Builder was her father. Noli had never had a father, but even he could understand the specific type of rage she probably felt, as much as she tried to hide it.
That specific type of rage was why he was trailing after xir now, slight fear in his step as they pushed through the woods to get to that clearing.
“X,” he knew his pleas would fall on deaf ears, but he had to at least try, “y0u kn0w 7hi5 i5 dumb. Y0u kn0w 7hi5 wi11 g37 u5 n0wh3r3.”
“It’s disrespected too many people for too long,” she flicked her wings, but didn’t look back at him, “I’m going to give it a piece of my mind.”
“7h47 didn’7 w0rk 7h3 1457 7im3 y0u 7ri3d!” Noli whined, “i7 h45n’7 w0rk3d 4ny 7im3 50m30n3’5 7ri3d i7!”
1x finally looked back at him, and he tried to put on the saddest, most pathetic face he could muster. She stared at him for a moment longer before dramatically groaning.
“Sssstop looking at me like that, you Moon-Eye’d idiot,” she hissed, “I’m doing this with or without you, so either stop begging and follow, or keep whining and stay behind.”
He bit back another whine as 1x turned back and began walking again, wings tucked tight against her back in a gesture that Noli could just tell meant she was uncomfortable. He frantically followed after her, closing the distance between them so fast he barely even touched the ground before he was directly at her side. If she was making a bad choice, he was making a bad choice with her.
It was funny, really. He hadn’t felt like this with anyone before other than 007n7, and that was years in the past, something he accepted a while ago was long gone. Despite xir horribly prickly nature, 1x had managed to worm xir way directly into Noli’s heart–even if it was clearly by accident. For a while, Noli had been convinced 1x didn’t like him back, but even disregarding the feathers that were nestled in the fluff of his lower neck, 1x showed xe did care about him in xir own wildly strange way. Even now xe continued to prove it by giving him the choice to follow rather than immediately ordering him away the second he protested.
So he owed it to them to follow along.
The pit in Noli’s stomach grew even deeper as they approached the burnt-out pine that he’d once scaled to scream at The Spectre, and the shackles that were forced onto his neck and wrists after he pulled that stunt almost burned with the reminder of how dumb this was. He gave another glance to 1x, a final silent plea for her to not do this, because no matter what, this wasn’t gonna end well.
She didn’t respond. She didn’t even look at him.
He bit back the start of another plea, lowering his head. This was stupid. This was stupid. Why was he even still following her? He knew how this was going to end, and yet he was willingly following after her into the lair of the beast like a loyal dog instead of saving his own skin.
Yet, even with that realization, he didn’t turn around and leave. Part of him hoped he could de-escalate when things started to really go wrong, as they inevitably would. Another part of him realized there was no such thing as proper de-escalation when The Spectre was involved.
“How do you get the damn thing to talk to you?” 1x glanced at him, snarl plastered on her face.
“...” he took in a breath, looking away from her, “I7 0n1y 5h0w5 if i7 r3411y w4n75 70.”
“So how do I make it want to?”
Noli shrugged. 1x growled.
Xe stepped forwards, spreading out xir wings in a threat display, shouting up at the sky, “ALRIGHT YOU WRETCHED THING, I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU!”
“7h47’5 n07 g0nn4–”
Noli flinched back in surprise as the sky suddenly lit up into horrifying crackling red-and-black static. Oh. It had decided to show up. Of course it did.
“And what could you possibly have to say to me?” The Spectre spoke, though it was not yet visible.
1x’s wings drooped slightly, and Noli could tell there was no plan.
“What do I have to do to get you to release the rest of them?” she abruptly calmly asked.
“What do you have to offer?” The Spectre finally appeared, a coiling shadow around the clearing, “What do you have to offer that could be more entertaining than this group?”
“X–” Noli’s sentence was cut off before it had barely begun by 1x shooting him a glare. Xe looked back at The Spectre after a moment.
“What could be a better prize than a piece of War that won’t fight you keeping it as a trophy?”
Noli abruptly jolted forwards with a writhing hiss, tail lashing behind him so hard that the charm on the end of it dug grooves into the earth.
“Y̴O̸U̴ ̸A̸R̶E̷ ̶N̵O̵T̶ ̶A̸L̵L̸O̴W̸E̴D̷ ̵T̴O̴ ̵D̷O̴ ̶T̶H̴A̷T̴.̶” he snarled at her, watching her step back in a clear manner of shock, but he continued regardless, “Y̷O̷U̸ ̴C̸A̵N̴'̷T̷ ̵O̸F̶F̵E̴R̸ ̸W̶H̶A̶T̸'̶S̸ ̵M̴I̶N̴E̴.̵”
He stared at her for a long while after saying that, realizing what he said but not caring. Somewhere behind him, The Spectre barely held in a laugh. 1x’s wings folded to be tucked tight against her back. Uncomfortable. He’d gone and said something stupid and she was uncomfortable.
“Is that what I am to you?” 1x asked, and there was…such a specific tone to her voice that Noli had so rarely heard.
Fear.
“W4i7–” he frantically put up his hands in a ‘hold on’ sort of motion, “w4i7 7h3r3’5 4n 3xp14n47i0n y0u’r3 mi55ing–”
“What could even begin to explain–”
1x’s panic was cut off by the abrupt motion of the pull tab of the zipper that made up their mouth flinging across their face, forcefully shutting their mouth. They stumbled back, clawing at their mouth and trying to open it back up, looking more and more panicked by the second. Noli kicked himself up into the air a bit to reach her, using as much magic as he could to float in place, frantically reaching to try to undo the zipper himself.
“I think I’ve heard enough, to be honest,” The Spectre hummed more than it spoke, “Now–normally I would simply do what I greatly enjoy doing, but I think I’m presented with an interesting opportunity here.”
Noli jolted back as he landed on the ground again, skittering back from 1x as she collapsed to her knees, grasping at her head now. The crown that she practically never took off tumbled off her head, hitting the ground solidly. Noli took a step back, staring in horror.
“So, Chaos,” The Spectre loomed over Noli, even as he didn’t look up at it, “You say this one is yours, hm? Took you a while to choose a new one that was ‘yours’ after your old one left you. So go on, stake your claim. Take control of it before I do.”
There it was. The thing Noli had said he wouldn’t do.
The species that Noli was–the species that The Spectre was as well–had that uncanny ability, that near complete control over the mind. That was how Noli was able to cause the survivors to hallucinate in rounds, after all.
However he had made a promise to himself–he’d never use those powers on 1x in full.
But now here he was, stuck between breaking that promise, or letting The Spectre do to xir what it had now done to four others, Noli himself included.
It should have been an easy choice, really. Just…one little broken promise. One promise he made to himself and no one else, a promise no one ever heard. But yet, here he was, struggling desperately to figure out if there was any other way around this. He glanced up at The Spectre, seeing it…simply watching. No doubt expecting him to not do it. Expecting him to allow this to occur, for 1x to be turned into a feral mindless beast for a round, for it to make her simply disappear for however long it decided before she was let loose.
He almost did. He almost conceded defeat and simply let it happen.
Until suddenly, there was a talon-hand around the charm at the end of his tail.
Noli paused for a long moment as he looked down. 1x had grasped onto the charm and was simply…holding it.
If he listened, he could almost hear a prayer. A piece of War, praying to Chaos. If it were any other situation, or if he were the person he was just a few years ago, he would have reveled in it. Assuming that was permission [or rather hoping], Noli crouched down, hesitantly placing a hand on 1x’s head.
“Br347h3, 0k4y?” he muttered, “I’m righ7 h3r3. If y0u giv3 in 70 m3, 3v3ry7hing wi11 b3 fin3, I pr0mi53.”
Slowly but surely, 1x’s desperate grasp on the charm loosened and xir breathing slowly steadied. There. Everything was fine. Everything was fine.
So why did Noli feel so bad about it?
The Spectre scoffed from where it watched, but laughed a bit as well. A horribly casual noise, really. Like it hadn’t just caused something that Noli would remember forever. It didn’t even give the dignity of a proper response, it just grumbled and left. Left Noli sitting there on the grass, not looking away from 1x once.
After a few moments of silence, Noli gently tilted her head up, trying to ignore the fact that the glare that normally replaced her eyes was gone, ending in her true eyes casually being on display. He gently undid the zipper again and placed her crown back on her head, pulling away from her as he released his control.
Nearly immediately 1x frantically huffed, eyes flicking back into the glare as xe released the charm, wings tucked tight against xir back. Xe didn’t seem to be looking at Noli, instead staring at the ground for a long while before looking up to where The Spectre was before it had vanished. Xe didn’t say a word as xe stared at the sky–and xe didn’t look at Noli once either.
Noli resigned himself to waiting until they had regained themself further, pulling his gaze away to stare at the ground. He did something good, why did it feel so bad? He used the powers granted to him by what he was to fix it, so why did it leave him feeling like something was trying to tear through his guts?
Eventually, he was the first to speak.
“Why d0 y0u…why d0 y0u d0 7hi5?” he asked, voice completely devoid of any of the humor or authority it nearly always had, “Why d0 y0u d0 7hi5 70 y0ur531f? Why d0 y0u d0 7hi5 70 m3?”
1x took in a slow breath.
“I was made for a purpose,” they stood up, still not looking at Noli, “A purpose I wasn’t allowed to fulfil. I suppose I have to find my purpose elsewhere.”
“Y0u 54id y0ur purp053 w45 ju57 70 b3 ki113d!” Noli got back to his feet as well, frantically motioning, “Wh47 4b0u7 1iving?! 1iving b3ing5 4r3 b0rn 70 1iv3!”
“And I wasn’t meant to be a living being,” 1x spoke matter-of-factly, head held high.
“4nd wh0 d3cid3d 7h47, huh?!” Noli would have snarled if he had the lips to do so, “0h, h3y, I kn0w wh0!”
“And who might that be?” 1x glanced over her shoulder.
“Ť̵̰E̷͎̾L̸̙̆A̷̢͝M̷͔̀O̷͎̍N̷̲͘.̶͙̈”
1x went completely and utterly silent, simply staring at Noli. Noli groaned, grasping at his head with a clawed hand.
“Y0u–y0u d0 7h353 h0rrib13 7hing5 70–4770n3 f0r wh47, b3ing b0rn?!” Noli looked up at her, trying to keep his voice from faltering too hard, “Y0u n3v3r h4d 70! 3v3r 5inc3 7h3 574r7, 3v3ry 573p 0f 7h3 d4mn3d w4y, 50m30n3 h45 1ov3d y0u in 50m3 w4y, 4nd y37 y0u 533ming1y find 3v3ry w4y y0u c4n 70 7ry 70 0ff y0ur531f 0r w0r53!”
1x looked like she was about to say something, some stupid argument against what Noli had to say, but he instead unthinkingly growled at her.
“N0! I d0n’7 w4nn4 h34r 50m3–57upid r3450ning,” he darted around to be in front of them so they were no longer looking over their shoulder, “b3c4u53 n0 r3450ning i5 g00d 3n0ugh! B3c4u53 y0u kn0w wh47 3v3ry r3450ning i5 7311ing me?! 7h47 my 10v3 i5n’7 3n0ugh. Y0u h4v3 C̶h̴a̵o̵s̷ ̴i̴t̵s̶e̷l̷f̴ pining 4f73r y0u, 4nd y37 y0u…”
He trailed off as he watched the glare flicker back into the eyes she was supposed to have, leaving him to just stare for a moment. There was something…mournful there. Regretful, almost, accented with another emotion he couldn’t name. Like she hadn’t realized what she was doing, or hadn’t realized how much she meant to him.
“...Let’s just go home, Moon-Eyes,” all the fight was gone from their voice, and as they went to walk past him, they partially hid themself in their wings.
Shame. That was what it was.
Once again, something he couldn’t fix.
Powerful, yet powerless here.