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Stephen couldn’t help but feel thrilled, today is the day, today is the day he is going to marry Tony. Tony had proposed before Thanos appeared. It was the most romantic moment Stephen could ever remember experiencing, him and Tony were on the couch, the two geniuses watching “Are you smarter than a fifth grader” testing each other and making fun of the contestants (not the kids).
Tony had looked up at Stephen as the program ended, his grin large and making Stephen huff out a smile and that’s when Tony kissed him. His perfect lips connect to Stephen’s. No matter how many times they kissed Stephen was still entranced by those lips, a stronger magic than Kamar-Taj could ever teach him.
He was so focused on his lips he didn’t feel Tony move from the couch to the floor, on one knee in front of Stephen. It’s only when he pulled back and Tony stared up at him with those big brown eyes did he see that out of his pocket Tony had taken a ring from his back pocket . It was simple, elegant but adhered to both of their expensive tastes and Tony held it out to Stephen with that stupid grin softened into pure love and desire.
Tony looked at him, mouth open like he was trying to remember words, knowing him he probably had a long speech planned, a promise to a life together and jokes thrown in, but all that came out his mouth was a simple, desperate, “Marry me?”
“Yes.” Stephen had replied, more desperation in his own tone then he was used to, his smile growing as he teased “I made you speechless.”
“The idea of being yours and you being mine makes me speechless.” Tony responded smoothly, his ability to flirt coming back now that Stephen had reacted positively. He slipped the ring on and went to tell (brag) about the design or price but Stephen sealed his open mouth with a deep, long kiss, pulling him up into his lap.
The rest of the night was spent on that couch having a lot of sex.
And now, here Stephen was, his signature cloak hung on the back of his chair as he dressed himself. Stephen’s tremors that usually dampened his mood couldn’t get him down today. He buttoned his shirt in record speed since his accident, his tie was more difficult and he did get an assist through his magic, his trousers easily pulled up, waist coat following, his favourite watch- one Tony bought him on their first anniversary- his shoes quickly slipping on and lastly his blazer.
(Okay his cloak had recommissioned itself to be his blazer.)
He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled, particularly as a flower bloomed in his breast pocket, courtesy of his cloak. He fixed his hair and let out a breath.
Today’s the day.
He’s never felt more excited. He feels stupid being this excited, he is a man of reason, a surgeon first and foremost that relies on precision and ignoring emotion, a sorcerer who relies on order and concentration and here he is, smiling to himself as he imagines a man staring at him from the top of a path.
Imagining Tony’s smile often caused Stephen to forget himself and turn soft, a character flaw that Tony loves to manipulate and make the sorcerer fall apart for him. Stephen loves to make Tony fall apart too but that’s usually in the bedroom, and not appropriate until tonight.
Stephen and Tony had agreed to get married on the 17th of October 2019, but the blip put a spanner in the works and moved the date to the 17th of October 2024.
And that’s today. He’d meet Tony there, a lake house that they bought to hide from the world in, away from danger and a place to be just them. Stephen opened a portal to the road beside the lake house before pocketing his sling ring and taking the walk down the drive. It’s a private ceremony. The paperwork they’ll do in a registry office, the ceremony they’re doing as just them.
Stephen walked over to the tree that was lit with battery powered candles and adorned with flowers, expecting that to be the “alter”.
It’s only as he walked to the head to no music, no noise and no sign of life did it hit him.
Tony’s dead.
They’re not getting married because Tony died. Exactly a year ago. The battle all comes swarming back to Stephen.
He killed Tony Stark. It was his vision of the fourteen million, six hundred and five timelines, it was him working out that one timeline would defeat Thanos, it was him going into that battle knowing that Tony needed to die.
Stephen falls onto his knees and breaks down into sobs, ignoring the mad invading his trousers, he picks up a picture of Tony and sobs. He loved that man more than he knew how to handle. He wanted to belong to each other, he did belong to Tony. The engagement ring feels suddenly heavy on his finger as he stares at Tony’s picture.
Stephen himself took this photo, he was so happy, the grin on Tony's face, his chocolate eyes shining with joy. Oh god. It was taken days before the blip, the last real date they had together.
As my sobs wreck through Stephen’s body, he chokes on tears and his vision becomes blurred.
They were meant to be at the altar and instead they were here at Tony’s grave and it was all Stephen’s fault. He killed the love of his life.
He didn’t deserve Tony, he didn’t deserve his ring on his finger, didn’t deserve his promise, in a fit of anger he tore the engagement ring from his own hand and threw it into the lake, a scream escaping his throat and piercing the silence, causing birds to flutter away and hiding the soft plop as the ring descends into the water.
Like a child, Stephen curls into himself, hugging himself like he’s holding his insides together and he curls on the muddy, wet ground, sobbing into Tony’s grave, watching as the battery candles flicker and his whole body shakes with grief.
He sobs until no sound comes out, cries until the tears run out. This drains him of any energy to move, he couldn’t even extract his sling ring from his pocket, he just curls in on himself until he falls asleep, here on the grave of the man he loved and lost.
The sleep was broken. He was uncomfortable on the lake bed, the ground uneven and sore and for a man riddled with chronic pain, this is the least comfortable position to be in, but it meant he was close to Tony once more, he was as close to in his arms as he could get. His sleep was further broken by Stephen’s mind tricking him into viewing memories with Tony that bring him joy and slicing them the view of his cold, broken, dead body on that battlefield.
The sleep could barely count as sleep.
When he awoke the sun was higher in the sky but the clouds were swarming to hide it from view. Stephen was sore, his music led, his back in particular aching deeply from being in the fetal position on the damp, cold floor. He pushed himself up to a sitting position using his hands which screamed at him for doing so, the pain in his nerves worse than usual after leaving them so cold and clutching his clothes in fists for many hours.
Upon looking down at his hand, he sees his finger empty of his ring and he remembers throwing it into the lake through his anger. His heart drops into his stomach as he realises he lost this piece of Tony forever.
Except, the lake was right in front of him.
He got himself up on wobbly legs, jogging to the lake as he sheds his blazer, waistcoat and tie, carefully removing his watch and then jumping in.
Stephen can swim, but that doesn’t mean he’s a good swimmer, and he can’t see anything, and he doesn’t know where the ring could be. He dives to the bottom and feels the disgusting bed, the solid bedrock and loose rocks no help on his quest to retrieve his ring.
With intervals of returning to the surface to get air, he spent far longer than he should have in that lake, returning empty handed. His fingers began to tense up, he soon became unable to move them. He became overly reliant on his legs which too began to freeze up from the cold.
Despite this he didn’t give up. He needed to find the ring.
Suddenly, as he lifts himself up for air, he is dragged through a portal, falling on solid ground with a thud, water splashing with him too as he coughs dramatically, sea water exiting his lungs, his clothes sticking to him and the cold settling into his nerves and bones.
“What did you think you were doing?” Wong’s voice a mix of anger and panicked concern as he throws towels around Stephen’s shoulders, personally attempting to dry him off. He then with a spin of his fingers dries Stephen off.
“The ring.” Stephen says simply, he knows he looks a mess, shaking still, trembling in his hands as bad as they were in the beginning, he cheeks puffy from tears, his lips chapped from sobs, his eyes rimmed red from tears.
Wong opened a portal and picked up the abandoned clothes and watch from the lake bed and handed them over, believing Stephen meant that, particularly as Stephen pulled the sling ring from the blazer pocket which quickly turned back into the cloak.
Stephen carefully put the watch on, caressing the face as he imagined Tony once again but shook his head.
“My engagement ring. It’s in the lake.”
Wong sighed and wrapped his arm around Stephen and stood him up, leading him up the stairs, using exercise rather than just a portal because he knew Stephen was stiff. They took the long route to Stephen’s bedroom, and despite having already slept for hours, he was unbelievably happy to see his bed.
Okay, maybe not happy, he hasn’t felt that since 2019. Relieved maybe.
“Sleep.” Wong instructed, leaving no room for an argument but his care was obvious.
Stephen wanted to protest, wanted to explain what happened with the ring, wanted to snap at Wong for looking softly at Stephen, wanted to sob some more. Instead he just removed his shoes and curled up in bed.
Childish. Pathetic.
Grieving.
His mind conjured the image of the ghost of Tony pulling the covers over them both, before his exhaustion pulled him into a dreamless sleep.
When Stephen once again awakes, the opening of the curtain confirms the time to be late afternoon, the time the sun's light is dying and the moon begins its reign. Stephen sits up and notices beside him a glass of water he takes and sips from, the water burning his throat. It must be sore from the crying and screaming. How un-Stephen like. He remembers when the only thing that burnt was whiskey and his skin beneath Tony’s fingers.
He then notices a note, his name written in Wong’s handwriting. He reaches for it and lifts it, revealing his engagement ring.
With an uncharacteristic gasp, Stephen picks it up and slips it back onto his finger, a smile of relief unwillingly breaks on his face and Stephen mentally makes a note to do whatever Wong wants for the next month, hell, he’ll even get the man a private Beyoncé concert for this,
Stephen reads the note that says:
“Stephen, I found the ring. I won’t ask how it happened, and I won’t ask why you were there because I know why, and I know I can’t make the pain go away, so I hope returning the ring to you gives a small sense of peace. He loves you, as you love him. I’m sorry it had to be this way. I got you a cheeseburger. It’s in the kitchen when you want it.”
And just like that, the kind gesture and words caused Stephen to sob once more, his vocal cords likely damaged as the sound of the sobs became hoarse from repetition. He’s lucky he still has Wong because otherwise Stephen likely wouldn’t be here.
He misses Tony so fucking much, he has to make his sacrifice worth it.
But for now he’s going to get his cheeseburger and cry into it as he thinks of Tony.