Chapter Text
(30 days left until the major lawsuit against ACME)
After exchanging that rather peculiar greeting with the coyote, you practically dash toward the bus stop. You’re running late for work and, considering you don’t have money for a cab (and don’t have a driver’s license either), public transportation is your only option.
For a split second, you thought about asking your neighbor for a ride, but you immediately dismissed the idea: the coffee shop where you work is in the complete opposite direction of his office. That, plus the fact that he and his new "client" must be in up to their necks trying to figure out how to defeat a megacorporation that basically owns almost everything.
Yeah, it's best to leave them alone with their case. You have nothing to offer there, and the last thing you need is to get dragged into a mess of that magnitude.
In the hallway, Kevin lets out a long sigh of disbelief after witnessing the strange interaction. Beside him, Mr. Coyote seems entirely unbothered, calmly straightening out his fur.
“You’re definitely not right in the head...” Kevin mutters to himself before getting into the car.
During the drive, the lawyer can’t help but glance sideways into the rearview mirror. Wile E. sits quietly in the passenger seat, watching the city pass through the window as a silence settles between the two of them. Or at least, it does until they drive past a park.
The coyote spots a bird in the distance and, instinctively, presses the button to roll down the window. Ready to pounce, he pulls a knife and fork out of thin air while his mouth begins to water.
“Mr. Coyote! What are you doing? No, no, no!” Kevin protests forcefully. Reaching for the control panel on his side, he locks the doors and rolls the window back up with a click. “No jumping out of the window! Do you have any idea what kind of lawsuit I’d face if my own client splatted onto the pavement?”
Wile E. knits his brows in frustration. Without hesitation, he lunges for the steering wheel to force Kevin to turn around.
“Enough! Let go of that!” Kevin yells, struggling for control until he slams on the brakes at a corner.
Inertia sends the coyote flying forward, smacking his face flat against the windshield with a dull rubbery sound. He peels himself off slowly, shakes his head to pop his features back into place, and crosses his arms, glaring at his attorney. With a swift movement, he pulls out a sign:
[ WHY? ]
“You’re a very obsessive guy, did you know that?” Kevin sighs, adjusting his tie. “That wasn't even a roadrunner, it was a pigeon. There’s no way the Road Runner is around here at this hour.”
Kevin steps on the gas again, but after a few seconds of silence, he sneaks a look at the passenger seat.
“Anyway... if you like birds so much, why did you suddenly decide you want to eat my neighbor, huh?”
The coyote’s annoyed expression softens instantly. A spark of curiosity crosses his yellow eyes. He rests his elbow on the door, turns toward Kevin, and holds up a new sign with an air of elegance:
[ WHAT ABOUT IT? ]
“What do you mean 'what about it'?” Kevin replies, giving him a quick glance before turning his eyes back to traffic. “For starters, do you even know how old she is?”
Wile E. simply shrugs and extends his arms out to the sides with his palms up, putting on a look of total cluelessness. If she works, she’s an adult, right? Age isn't something cartoons pay attention to in the first place, much less a super genius focused on far more important matters.
“Well, I don’t know either. But she looks young,” Kevin points out, his tone accusatory.
Wile E. simply rolls his eyes. He doesn't consider himself a super genius for nothing; he recognizes instantly the accusatory tone Kevin is using to berate him for feeling that sudden attraction toward you. But of course, just because he’s smart enough to catch on doesn't mean he cares about his lecture.
For his part, Kevin knows he only knows you from a couple of quick hallway greetings and brief chats about mail or noise. Still, you seem like a nice, slightly spacey person who wouldn't hold a grudge. That's precisely why he can't wrap his head around how you ended up on the radar of someone as... troublesome as Wile E. Coyote.
When they arrive at the law firm, Paige greets them near the reception desk with a couple of folders tucked under her arm and a bright, energetic smile.
“Hey! How was your first night as roomies?” she teases, walking with them toward the main office.
Wile E., walking with an upright posture and his hands behind his back, raises a sign:
[ MORE THAN GREAT ]
Without waiting for a reply, he walks into the office. Even though he only saw the place yesterday, he’s already memorized every single corner.
Paige lets out a soft chuckle and looks at her uncle with curiosity.
“Oh yeah? What did I miss?”
“You wouldn't believe it... he’s quite the charmer,” Kevin remarks, rolling his eyes.
Noticing Paige’s surprised look and how she raises an eyebrow while holding back a laugh, Kevin realizes how that sounded and rubs his hand over his forehead.
“No! I didn't mean it like that, Paige. I mean Mr. Coyote had a rather... 'charming' interaction with my neighbor this morning.”
“With the old lady at the front desk?”
“I wish,” Kevin mutters, placing a hand on his hip. “No, the other one. A young woman who lives right next door.”
Paige grins mischievously and wiggles her eyebrows.
“Oww, and did she think he was cute too? Wow... it must be the attitude. We women love confident, intelligent guys.”
“Yeah, sure...” Kevin responds with little conviction.
He turns to look at the coyote. At that exact moment, Wile E. attempts to sit elegantly in the armchair, but he miscalculates his weight, falls backward, and ends up knocking over a tall bookshelf, causing a mountain of law books to crash right onto his head.
Kevin watches the scene in silence for two seconds.
“Yeah... I’m not so sure about that,” Kevin sighs, straightening his jacket. “Anyway, let’s get to work. We don’t have much time, and I don’t want to spend the month talking about my client’s love life.”
𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃
On the other hand, you’re just arriving at the coffee shop where you work. It’s not really a surprise that you’re a couple of minutes late; as long as the manager doesn't notice, everything is under control.
You greet your coworkers with a quick wave, finish putting on the rest of your uniform, and declare yourself ready to start another day just as boring as yesterday’s, and maybe a little less boring than tomorrow’s. At least this time you had the good sense to wear sneakers, mercifully thinking of your feet’s well-being.
You spend the rest of your shift on autopilot: making orders, serving cups of coffee, and wiping down tables. Your only real entertainment is eavesdropping on customers’ conversations, something you prefer a thousand times over listening to your coworkers complain about their lives for the tenth time. Today, in particular, the atmosphere is livelier than usual: most of the tables are discussing the lawsuit against ACME, which has become the topic of the moment.
Hearing the company’s name inevitably causes your mind to wander back to what happened this morning and the night before. You smile to yourself, internally thanking the coyote for breaking up your monotony with such a scandal. Had it not been for the noise that kept you from listening to your TV show—which you were only going to use as background noise for a nap anyway—you never would have gone to knock on that door.
And then there’s the whole flirting situation. You still can’t believe you ended up flirting with a cartoon character, but in your defense, he was attractive. Besides, people are always going to judge no matter what, so who cares. At least this coyote gives off the vibe of a genius.
Genius...
That word reminds you of the peculiar business card he gave you, which, for some reason, you’re still keeping in your apron pocket.
Taking advantage of a quiet moment behind the counter, you pull out the piece of cardstock to re-read the name printed so elegantly: Wile E. Coyote, Genius. A faint smile escapes your lips. You're definitely looking forward to your shift ending so you can go back home. Who knows what you'll run into in the hallway.
You glance up at the coffee shop TV just as the news program broadcasts an update on the case. The reporter on screen confirms that the court date for the first hearing is set for exactly 30 days from now.
Thirty days. A countdown you are more than determined to make the most of.