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Language:
English
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Published:
2017-01-27
Words:
2,187
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
2
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32

Little Zed Riding Hood

Summary:

HAHA, FINALLY A CLEVER TITLE?. Zed isn't even the one in the hood so nO,,,, IT ISN'T BUT I THINK I'M /SO/ FUNNY.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUU, YOU ALWAYS INSPIRE ME TO WRITE CHEESY TERRIBLE THINGS, WHEN WILL IT END.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“Once upon a time there was a dear little girl who was loved by everyone who looked at her, but most of all by her uncle, and there was nothing that he would not have given to the child.”

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Sophie quickly wrapped the red cape around her neck, and nearly dropped her basked of her freshly baked goodies as she hopped out the door. Today, she was finally able to go visit her favorite uncle, (who was always busy with work,) though he lived on the other side of the forest. He had offered, of course, to come and pick her up, but Sophie was especially stubborn on being able to go through the woods on her own.

With a large grin, she began to make her way, taking deep breaths and enjoying the gentle breeze of the sunny day.

As she made her way, there was a rustling in the bushes, and Sophie stopped and turned towards the noise, blinking and waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, however, she shrugged it off and continued.

After about an hour, Sophie couldn’t help but frown to herself, checking her surroundings.

“I was sure…. I made a left at that small cottage…” she started, placing her fist under her chin while trying to think.

Suddenly hearing a low growling sound, Sophie turned around again, this time taking a kung-fu like stance and adding an extra “hyaaah” for good measure. With no response, she lowered her defenses and sighed.

When she began to walk away, she suddenly bumped into a large figure and jumped back, quickly taking her fighting stance once more.

“Hey, woah! Where did you come from?”

The tall man gave back a sly smile as his eyes drifted from the basket in her hands back up to her face.

“I couldn’t help but notice you seemed a little lost. I’m just here to offer my services……. For a small fee of course.”

Sophie held her basket close to her chest and gave off an offended look.

“No way! These are for my uncle Kai!”

This time the man growled a bit louder, this time baring his fangs.

“Look, I tried to be nice and even offer to help! Let me have the basket!”

Sophie gasped, finally realizing who the man in front of her was.

“Hey! I know you! You’re that mean wolf everybody talks about who steals people’s food!”

The wolf clicked his tongue, beginning to walk away, though he mumbled under his breath.

“Better hold that basket close in these woods.”

Sophie pouted and waited for him to be out of sight before giving a sigh of relief.

“I better find the road quickly before that mean old wolf comes back!”

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After another hour, Sophie slumped to the floor in despair. She hoped that she could find her way, but apparently, her adventure had begun to lead her in circles, and she couldn’t help but feel a bit of despair. Finally, she thought that she would be able to make her way through the forest without help, but she conceded that she was pretty lost. Walking over to the river to rest for a while, Sophie noticed a familiar figure sitting on a tree stump.

“Oh, it’s Mr. Wolf again!”

He stiffened, and his ears stood upright, and he didn’t turn around to acknowledge her. Instead, Sophie peeked over his shoulder to see what he had been so nervous to respond to her. In his hands, she saw a small rabbit, and she soon squished her face between her hands.

“Aww, it’s a little bunny rabbit! How cute! Boy, I’ve never seen a bunny look so relaxed!”

Sophie got too close for comfort, and the wolf leaned back a bit, giving her a glare.

“Hey, if you’re so hungry, wouldn’t you just eat this little guy?”

She began petting it, while also adding a bit of baby talking included as well.

“What, are you kidding me?” he said, pushing her off of him and the rabbit. “Who could eat someone this cute?”

Sophie gave a big grin and stared at the wolf, who could only feel himself getting redder with time.

“Aww, you’re not as bad a guy as people say Mr. Wolf! You’re a lot nicer than you look.”

“Ugh. Stop calling me that, the names Zed.”

Sophie pulled out a goodie from her basket, and offered it to the wolf in front of her.

“Here you go, Zed. As a sign of our new friendship!”

Zed looked down at the treat, and then back up to Sophie. “I don’t remember agreeing to any friendship.” He took the snack anyway, immediately biting into it.

“Well, you’re super nice, I’m super nice, so of course we’re friends!”

Zed, more confused now than ever, stuffed the rest of his snack in his mouth and ate it all at once, though he started talking again with his mouth still full of food.

“So, what’rya still doing here?”

Sophies happy demeanor turned into a pouty face as she gave a sigh.

“I thought I’d be able to get to the other side of the forest on my own, but I think I’m just walking around in circles……”

Zed seemed unsurprised, he had been following her around the first hour and seen her cluelessness in action.

He sighed, “Ugh…. I guess, I could help you find your way out. You did give me food after all.”

“Really?!”

Immediately, Zed regretted his actions.

“Thanks Zed!”

Sophie gave the wolf a tight squeeze, and he jumped back.

“No more of that. Don’t touch.”

Sophie simply smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

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Finally, they had reached the edge of the forest, and Sophie turned around to say goodbye to the wolf.

“Thanks a lot Mr. Wolf!”

Zed gave a low growl and Sophie covered her mouth, “oops, I mean Mr. Zed!”

He sighed, turning around and going back into the forest with a wave.

Sophie was finally able to skip to her Uncle Kai’s house and tell him about her new friend.

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Two weeks later, Sophie excitedly ventured back into the forest, determined to get the path right this time. She gave it her all at first, jogging through the forest rather than walking, due to her bursting confidence.

That confidence quickly faded however, as she looked upon a sign she had already passed twice before.

“Aww, man! I thought I really had it this time!”

Sophie sat on the floor, debating her next move.

“Lost again, red?”

Sophie jumped up happily at the familiar voice.

“Zed! You’re just the wolf I wanted to see!” She clasped her hands together, and pleaded. “Help me out again?”

Zed raised an eyebrow, “I’m not a tour guide ya know? Don’t you come here often anyway? You should find your way on your own.”

Sophie grabbed on to his arm, “Please please pleeeeease? I’ve tried and tried and tried to remember, but I keep somehow walking in circles.”

Zed signed again, “Fine. But like I said before, it’ll cost ya.”

“Ehee.” Sophie gave an excited look, and began rummaging through her basket. “I prepared for that this time, tah dah!” She lifted the cover off, revealing more snacks.

“Today, I came prepared. For you!”

Zed squinted at her, “Why are you being so nice to me? Don’t you know who I am? Big scary claws? Razor sharp teeth?” he raised his hands up to her for emphasis, though his stance wasn’t very convincing.

“You helped me out, so I know you’re actually sweet, despite what people say! They probably just never tried to talk to you.”

Zed scratched his head, actually kind of touched with her answer. “You know, if you keep hanging out with me, they’ll start talking about you too.”

“Psssshhhpbttbtbtt. Caring about that is what made me wrong in the first place! Now I have a new friend!”

Zed held his hand out for the food, and Sophie cheerfully handed it over.

“I’m gonna teach you the way, because seriously, you can’t keep asking me to help you out.”

“It’s worked so far, we’re two for two.”

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As they reached the edge of the forest, Sophie’s eyes stayed fixated on Zed’s tail, which swayed gently as he walked. She couldn’t help but think about how soft it was, and how much she wanted to mess with it.

“-that’s where you turn. Got it?”

Sophie snapped back to attention, looking to the side with a very obvious lying face. “Um, yeah! I got it. Next time for sure!”

She gave a salute as he responded with a deadpan look. “Right. Well, my job is done here. Later.”

Sophie waved as she watched him walk off again, determined next time, to ask about his ears and tail.

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Sophie once again stood at the sign, debating on which way to go. She paid attention to her surroundings, waiting for a familiar rustle of leaves or some kind of sassy remark, but none came. She worried for a moment that Zed wouldn’t show up, but shook the thought from her head. He’d probably find her eventually.

“aaaaaah,” Sophie wrapped her cloak around herself, and fell backwards onto the grass. “I give up. I guess I’ll just live here now.”

With a few more groans and rolling around, Zed finally popped up and stared for a while.

“How’s it goin?”

Sophie looked up at him with tears practically in her eyes, throwing him off.

“H-hey now, it’s not that serious, y’know? It’s still daylight, why are you freaking out?”

Sophie ran to Zed and clung to him, and though he was uncomfortable, he didn’t push her off right away. He wasn’t quite sure how to deal with a crying girl clinging on to him though, and ended up slowly patting her head.

“Um……… there there?”

Sophie finally let him go, wiping away the last of her tears.

“Sorry... I was just afraid that you weren’t going to show up today…”

“So you started crying?! That is not a normal response.”

Sophie let out a soft laugh, “Yeah, I guess that was a bit dramatic. But, that’s all in the past now! No point in reminiscing. Anyway, today I came to hang out with you!”

Zed gave off a confused look. “Say that again?”

“I came to hang out with you! But I couldn’t find you... But now you’re here! I brought us a whole picnic today, so pick your favorite spot and let’s get to eating!”

As Zed led them to a small spot that got a large amount of sun, Sophie once again found her eyes watching Zed’s tail, and hatched a plan.

As soon as they sat down, Sophie began to rummage through her basket. “Hey……… can I touch your tail?”

Sophie looked at Zed expectedly, who immediately grabbed his tail and pulled it away from her.

“What, no way! What makes you think you can ask a guy a question like that?”

Sophie stuck her tongue out playfully, “But! It looks so soft! How can I resist!”

“Not gonna happen. Now, forget about it and hand over the food.”

She gave a sly look, and pulled out the first sandwich. “Okay…. I’ll hand it over…” as soon as she had begun to hand it to him, she pulled it away. “If you let me pet your ears!”

“Hey, you asked me to be here, right? Just let me eat.”

“Pleeeeeeease?” Sophie batted her eyes at him and also waved the sandwich around in her hands.

Zed’s eyebrow twitched a bit in annoyance, until finally her begging had worn him down.

“Fine. Just this once. But stay away from my tail.”

Sophie jumped up, nearly dropping the rest of her basket beside her and causing Zed to worry.

“Hooray!!!” She popped up beside him, and began to pet his head. “Wow, they’re just as soft as I was expecting!”

Zed turned a bit red, refusing to look at her.

“Aww, are you embarrassed? But they’re so great!” She smiled, “I bet if you weren’t holding your tail, it would be wagging right now, right?”

“Hey now, I’m not a dog!” Zed said, finally swatting her away. “That’s enough of that, just give me my lunch.”

Sophie complied, emptying out her basket to share between the both of them.

“Alright alright, fair is fair. But next time, I’ll bring something better that will let me pet your ears longer... and maybe your tail.”

She mumbled that last part, trying to be slick about it, though Zed could very obviously hear her.

“Don’t count on it. Maybe next time I won’t show up after all.”

“Don’t joke about that!!”

Zed just rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

“Next time, I’ll introduce you to my uncle Kai. You’d probably like him, he’s pretty great!”

Zed held his hand up in a stopping position, worried that if he was anything that resembles Sophie, there was no way he could handle two of them at the same time.

“I think I’ll pass. For now, lunch.”

Sophie just laughed, “I couldn’t agree more!”

AND THEN THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Notes:

that first line was totally copied from an online "little red riding hood" posting, but changed to uncle because I thought Kai = grandma was HILARIOUS. So, yeah. THERE IT IS.